She Used To Be Mine

Chapter Two

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reception with this! I really appreciate everyone that read, commented, liked it or whatever. This one's long but covers a lot of time and is pretty fluffy if that's your thing.

Summary: And yeah, Amy's there again, scooping her up, saying all of the comforting words that he didn't. She's whispering 'sorrys' and things like 'we'll do this together' and although Karma knows they can't possibly manage it with things like college and careers and relationships in the way – she kind of wants to believe Amy can save her from this.


It's not what I asked for

Sometimes life just slips in through a back door

"There's something I need to tell you guys," she hears herself say it, but the words feel foreign and there's a ringing in her ears.

Her parents look at her expectantly, and there's that creeping sense of dread she felt the afternoon when she first saw those two lines on that fucking stick. It's been three weeks since then, and the anxiety she feels from sun up to sun down is eating at her conscience.

So, Karma knows if she waited one more minute to reveal this information, it would've torn her apart from the inside out. (Okay, so maybe those were Amy's words) - but whatever, she's giving herself credit for even being here right now, because all of her better instincts are saying to put off this conversation until she's waving goodbye as this kid drives off to his or her first day of college.

Her dad clears his throat and says, "Well, what is it, Karma?"

And then, there's that putrid, bitter taste rising up in her throat and Amy leans over, eyes full of worry, looking every bit like she's got the getaway right out front if they need it. She loves Amy for it, but she's about to become a mother, now is as good a time as any to start taking responsibility for her own mistakes - no matter how much she wants that getaway car (and by that she means she'd hand over a kidney for it… you only need one of those anyway, right?)

She lets out a sigh and tightens her grip on the wooden log they've been sitting on for the last fifteen minutes. Karma's said the words twice now, and she's found it doesn't really get any easier. It's actually just getting harder to tell more people that Liam saw the one thing she's known about herself for years: she's not good enough.

"Are you okay?" Amy finally asks after a few more moments of silence between the four of them.

No. Of course she's not okay.

But, instead she says, "I'm good," not because it's anywhere near true, but maybe if she says it enough she'll start to believe it. Yeah, it's hard - to muster the courage - but there's something about Amy's hand on her back that lends her strength, and before she knows it, she's spilling the very truth that's been festering like an infected wound she never really covered properly.

"I'm pregnant."

Her dad's smile turns into a deep set frown, her mom's face is a mix of shock and confusion that feels like a sucker punch to the gut, and Amy's breath catches at the words like they still hurt to hear (yeah, Karma knows that feeling).

"It's that Booker kid, isn't it?" her dad's angry in a way she couldn't have predicted and it makes her want to cling to him with apologies. But she has to let this settle, she has to give them time to process, because it's a lot and there's so much to consider. "Karma, I'm not a violent man, especially not since I met your mother in the summer of eighty-three, but I'm not above finding out where this boy lives if he did something to you."

"He didn't - I didn't - it was a mistake, Dad."

Amy tightens an arm around her waist and they watch as Molly whispers a few words to Lucas that visibly calm him. Karma hopes to have that one day because sure, her parents are eccentric, but they're still the best model of love she has to focus on since her own love life basically imploded.

"Honey, I thought we talked about safe sex at our monthly family discussions?" her mom's concern is genuine as she sits back down across from her and Amy - it makes Karma feel like a fuck up for the four hundredth time since this all began. It's just another score in Zen's corner (she might as well have just handed him the golden child award, it's always been an uphill battle anyways).

Karma sighs. "We did… I should've been more careful."

"I sense that Liam's reaction wasn't overly welcoming?"

"No," she finally manages at the same time Amy mumbles, "I'm gonna handle him, Molly."

"I know you will," her mom says with a small smile before she lays a hand over Amy's free arm. Something goes unspoken between them and Karma really doesn't wanna know if they're conspiring in some evil 'get revenge on Liam' plan. She doesn't wanna know if Amy's on some murder mission - she's just so grateful that she agreed to be here for the big reveal. "Karma, what is it you want do with the baby?"

It's odd - the difference between her mom asking about the outcome of the baby and Liam commanding her actions. It almost makes her consider how much simpler it would be if she could just do what Liam wanted. But, that's never really been an option she could live with.

"I'm keeping it," she says, resolutely. She can see Amy nod in support of her decision and for a split second she wishes there was some scientific miracle that could make this kid theirs instead of half his - it'd make her entire life so much easier.

"Well, then, we'll have a new little one to welcome to our clan, girls. New life is never a bad thing," Molly tells them with a certainty that Karma really hopes she feels about this situation one day.


Everyone kept saying the morning sickness would fade after the first trimester – well, everyone was fucking wrong because she's currently at the five-month mark and this kid has yet to cut her a legitimate break. She still spends every morning cuddling with the porcelain bowl down the hall.

"Karma, you ready?"

Yeah, Amy is right on time like she is every morning, and just like every morning before they're probably going to be late.

"Yeah, just gimme a-" her sentence is effectively silenced by the sound of last night's dinner hitting the toilet bowl. She doesn't even bother with breakfast anymore because really, what's the point?

"I see we're proceeding with our usual morning routine," Amy says as she pulls Karma's hair out of the way and runs a hand along her back.

Karma wipes at her mouth in frustration and shoves Amy playfully when she finally gets to her feet. "Shut up," she gets out around a mouth full of toothpaste and Amy responds in kind with a wink.

She's literally never thrown up this much in her entire life. It's actually awful. She can't fathom all those women who go on about how much they love being pregnant – at this rate she's never having another one, regardless of whether she gets a boy or girl at the end of this.

"This little dude is really messing with you."

Karma knows Amy's totally banking on her having a boy in February, but she's waiting until the day to be surprised. Mostly, because if she finds out the sex it really solidifies the fact that she's going to be held responsible for this little human's well being.

And that thought is scary as all get out.

"I just hope this morning sickness doesn't last the whole nine months," she responds with a huff.

"I wish I could help more," Amy says, sympathetic. So far, Amy's been the one putting a positive spin on everything. She has been helping. She's been more help than anyone, but somehow, seeing that flicker of concern on her face, and hearing the serious tone in her voice makes everything seem real again (and Karma's been trying really fucking hard to ignore how very real this is).

"You're staying over this weekend, right?"

There's no real reason she has to confirm their Friday night plans. Amy's set up camp at her house every weekend for the last two months and it's been the only thing keeping her sane since her parents turned into complete crazy people about this kid.

Her mother won't stop badgering her about the proper teas to drink during pregnancy and the proper herbs to take before labor so that she won't need an epidural.

And yeah, fuck that if her mom thinks she's doing this naturally.

"Of course I am. Who else would read him a bedtime story if I didn't stay?"

"Oh, I don't know... I mean it's probably something I could handle since I'm going to be the mom and all," Karma says with a smirk - she's baiting Amy and they both know it.

"Friday bedtime stories are our thing, Karms, it's how me and the little man bond," she responds as she places her palm gently on the small belly that's forming. Sure, it's probably the pregnancy hormones that are making her emotional, but Karma has to choke back the sensation of tears at the gesture. "And besides, I do the voices better."

"Ames, he's like the size of an artichoke. He doesn't understand the voices in the book."

"I read up on this. He'll know voices when he's out here and I want him to know who I am."

Karma laughs.

"Like he won't. You're the closest thing to-" she has to stop herself there because she worries about freaking Amy out. She has no real obligation to this baby and it's so much responsibility to be taking on at eighteen. Amy really doesn't need this in her senior year and Karma feels bad about it every single day.

Amy's quiet for a few beats, and when Karma finally looks at her again, she's met with eyes that look anything but freaked out. "Hey, I get it, okay?"

"Yeah," Karma replies softly with a nod, and lays a hand over the one that's been on her stomach.

Amy snorts and then says, "You are all belly, this is so crazy."

"You calling me fat, buttface?" she shoves that hand away and silently thanks her for lightening the mood, because she really can't handle the heavy so early in the damn morning.

"I actually thought you'd be fatter," Amy finally says as she takes off down the stairs like a mad woman, laughing the whole way.

"Yeah, run. You're lucky I can't move that fast!"


Amy's late.

Amy is never late on Friday afternoons and it's setting off all sorts of red flags in Karma's mind. Sure, she's probably being over dramatic (as Amy always says) but it's so unlike Amy that she's about ready to get the APD involved.

Karma's prepared to give her one more hour before she goes completely ballistic - so, instead of freaking the fuck out, she finds her dad in the backyard.

It seems this is the best option she's got right now.

"Karma!" he seems caught off guard - as if this area is some off limits part of their house.

"Amy's late," she tells him with a pout as she sits in the lawn chair. He's covered in all sorts of sawdust and she has to wonder what in the world he's doing out here.

"She's probably on her way. How's reproduction treating you today?"

She rolls her eyes. He's asked the same thing every single day once he finally calmed down about the whole Liam fathering her child thing. It's part infuriating, part really sweet because she knows he does care. "Morning sickness as per usual."

"Your mom was like that, you know - you made her so sick. Must be a sign he's taking after you," he continues carving and Karma wonders why her mom never divulged this information.

"Is that a good thing?"

He finally stops whatever it is that he's so busy with and gives her the most serious look she's probably gotten in years. "Karma, you were our miracle baby - of course it's a good thing," he's reassuring in a way she really wasn't expecting. It's nice after all these years feeling like she's the redheaded stepchild next to Zen.

"What're you doing out here everyday anyways?" she's been curious for weeks about what it is that's been taking up all of his free time after work.

He smiles. "I wanted it to be finished before the big reveal but..." he pauses to hold up a half finished handmade crib. "It's for the baby. I know we still don't have a lot of money to help the way we would like-"

"It's perfect, Dad. Really. Thank you," she wraps her arms around him and suddenly feels five years old all over again. Which is just ironic since she's about to become an adult in a very big way.

And then she hears a car.

And a huge fucking box taking up the entirety of the back seat plus the passenger seat is holding another. Amy's barely even visible.

What even is happening today?

"What is all this?!"

Amy's got a smile on her face that's about as big as Karma's ever seen it. "I gotcha something."

She proceeds to haul boxes out of the car and Karma so badly wants to help because it really looks like she's struggling. Amy shoos her away the minute she even gets close.

"There's no way you were able to afford all this."

"Nope," she huffs when the final box finally hits the grass and she almost topples over. "But Liam could - and he did."

"Wait, what?"

"Karms," Amy stops to flash a smile, "in what world was I gonna let Liam get away with being a total bastard? His family has the money to spare - he owes you at least this much."

"But how? He wouldn't even answer my calls."

"Just ripped him a new asshole and threatened to out the whole pregnancy to his dad and Victoria. You'd be surprised how quickly we ended up at Babies R Us with his American Express."

Karma finally takes inventory to find a car seat, stroller, and four jumbo boxes of diapers. "I don't even know what to say."

"I can get more out of him if we need it, but you wouldn't believe how expensive diapers are! My mom said Pampers are the way to go because they don't leak as much and oof-" she stops talking when Karma launches at her, full force, and almost takes them both out.

"I love you, you know that?" she so terribly hopes Amy knows that. There's no one in the world she loves more than she loves the girl in her arms.

"Duh. I told you we'd do this together," Amy's teasing, but Karma can feel the way she squeezes just a little bit tighter when she speaks.

"I know but this is..." she can't even describe what this is exactly. It's really above and beyond anything that Amy needed to do.

"I'm your best friend - it's in the handbook, page seven, line forty-five - 'you must blackmail the guy who accidentally knocks up your best friend and then bails like the prick that he is'."

Karma just shakes her head and pulls Amy inside for their Friday night House Hunters International marathon (because duh, the international one is so much better than the regular - even if Amy won't admit it). It's nice, she thinks, to still have this routine when everything kind of feels like it's spinning out of control. These nights make her feel like a regular eighteen-year-old that still has a future to look forward to. She tries not to think much about the fact that she's about to become someone's mother when she barely even knows who the fuck she is to begin with.

Who will this kid even be if it grows up to be anything like her?

She wanted to go to college, drink too much, stay out too late, maybe fail a few tests and learn from her own mistakes. She had so many plans for herself before they were all so unceremoniously derailed by the little person that's growing inside her. It's not exactly easy to watch everyone picking schools and stressing over SAT scores when she's spending her weekends stressing over baby proofing the house and wondering whether she'll have enough clothes for the first six months.

Amy's been great and she's been exactly the solid rock that's kept Karma's feet on the ground - but Amy's also not the one that has to push this fucking kid out and raise it.

"I bet they pick the first one," she hears from her right.

"What?"

"Were you not watching? The episode's almost over and you didn't even see any of the houses!" Amy's basically appalled as she stuffs her face with popcorn.

Karma's amused. It's not like it's the first time she's completely zoned out through an episode - it feels like the further along this pregnancy gets, the more lost in thought she gets.

Things are starting to creep up.

She's scared.

"Sorry... just thinking."

"Kernel for your thoughts?" Amy offers a piece of popcorn and Karma snickers at what a complete dork she really is.

"You know that's not the saying."

"Yes, Karma, I know that's not the saying," it sounds like a reprimand, but Amy's smile and open arms say otherwise. Karma really can't help but settle her head on her best friend's chest - it's turned into the only place that makes any sense anymore. "What's going on?"

She heaves a breath and closes her eyes. "It all just feels like it's happening really fast. Do you think- am I going to be a bad mom if I'm scared?"

"What? Karms, no! If anything it's normal to be scared," Amy pauses and runs the tips of her fingers along the bare skin now exposed by Karma's change in position. "I'd think you were weird if this didn't scare you."

"Do you think I'll be good at it?" she shivers at Amy's touch, and suddenly feels infinitely more vulnerable than she's really comfortable with.

"You've been taking care of me since we were five - of course I think you're gonna be good at it. This kid's gonna be so lucky cuz he's gonna have the best mom," Amy says it all with such sincerity that Karma really does want to believe it.

But it's never been that easy.


So, Karma's basically used to all of the commotion that goes on in her stomach on a regular basis. The baby's been wreaking havoc on her insides so much that she's surprised they've made it to seven months without the kid puncturing an organ (she's also basically accepted that it's probably a boy, but damn if she won't make Amy eat her words if isn't).

It's an abnormally cold, gloomy December afternoon in Austin and all she really wants to do is burrow herself further into Amy's sweatshirt to hibernate for the next two months. As it is, she's huddled against Amy on the couch in one of her dad's oversized hoodies waiting for Amy to give up on trying to make plans. Someone really should've mentioned that infants are basically the equivalent of an acceptable parasite.

"Should we.. go to the movies?" she's been giving suggestions for the last twenty minutes and none of it sounds even remotely appealing.

"Can't we just stay here?"

"We spend every weekend here you gotta get out of this house and - what the fuck was that?!" Amy asks with wide eyes and a silly expression on her face.

"He just kicked," Karma explains, simply.

Amy's dumbfounded. "Whoa."

"I know."

She giggles a little at what they're now saying those lines about - and it's so very apparent how times have changed.

Amy looks so amazed that when she finally recovers all she says is, "He totally just high-fived me."

"I'm pretty sure that-" she stops to lift her shirt as he kicks a second time, "is a foot."

"Okay, so he like high-kicked me. He's a mini kung fu master!" she announces before shifting to lay her hands on Karma's belly as she waits for further movement.

Karma smiles because sure it's amazing and all that (the first few times she really was in awe), but it's totally not amazing to spend seventy-five percent of the day peeing her brains out because he won't lay still.

But, then she looks at Amy, who looks every bit like this baby is half hers, and her heart kind of lurches in a way she's been ignoring for months now. She's been shoving the whole 'confused about my feelings for Amy' thing to the wayside, because in the grand scheme of things, it's not even really high on her list of priorities. She also thinks it's probably unwise to involve a baby - that's going to be confused enough about who his or her parents are - in their whirlwind mess of a situation. But, to be honest, it's been getting harder to not acknowledge it when Amy's looking at her like that.

"Hey in there, little guy, this is the best aunt in the whole world - you know, the one that reads the awesome stories every Friday," Amy stops for a beat to gather her words and Karma really has to fucking get it together or she's gonna end up looking like a hot mess in two seconds. But, it's the first time Amy's ever really talked to the baby and her emotions are going haywire. "I figured I'd just give you the low down on who to come to for the best bedtime stories in town. And if your mom is ever giving you a hard time you come find me cuz I know her better than anyone - I can talk her down if she's a total crazy woman," Amy laughs when Karma nudges her at that. "Really though, your mom's my favorite person in the entire world - that makes you my second favorite person just by association."

She feels a tiny foot shoot up to reward Amy for her speech and Amy looks about two seconds off crying when she finally feels the imprint against her hand.

"Holy shit. That's him," Amy says, voice barely above a whisper. Karma nods in response because she doesn't really trust herself to do much else.

There's unadulterated excitement in Amy's eyes and all Karma can think about is how the kids at school have treated her for the last four months and how Amy has been her biggest defender. It's not that she's been ostracized per se, but she can't exactly say any of the kids have been nice either. There have been the passing snarky comments about keeping her legs closed, the occasional sideways glance at her ever-growing stomach, and any chance she had at popularity was lost the minute the rumor mill went to work. Yeah, it's not lost on her that everything she worked for (popularity and Liam) is gone and at the end of it. Amidst all the drama, it's Amy that's still standing next to her.

Sure, it's taken Karma a few years to realize what's been right in front of her face this whole time, but now that she sees it all she really wants to do is kiss her.

So, she does.

It's not really like any of the times they've kissed before - but then again it's been years since she's kissed Amy (which, now that it's happening, Karma thinks it's been way too long). But, Amy's sweet and careful and every move seems to be so much more considered than when they were fifteen and sixteen. It's so clearly not the start of some sexual encounter on the Ashcroft's living room couch - but Karma wonders if it couldn't be the start of something for them.

But, then there's still the fact that Amy has a girlfriend. OK, so she's been off frolicking around the country for the last few weeks while Amy's been playing house, but she's still very much there. It kind of almost sucks the wind out of Karma's sails a little - but she tries not to think about it when this kiss just feels so intoxicating.

Amy pulls away first, her face flushed and eyes bright. She glances down shyly and says, "I think he approved."

Karma laughs because yeah, he really was kicking up a damn storm when they kissed and her bladder is about to burst. So, when Amy looks back up all she can manage is, "I really have to pee."

It's about the least romantic ending to a kiss in all of history, but Amy seems unphased. Instead, she stands and automatically offers her hands to help Karma get off the couch. Gravity really hasn't been her friend lately, and some part of her thinks Amy enjoys being the coordinated one these days.

She finds Amy and her mom sitting at the kitchen table with something that smells absolutely atrocious and Karma almost loses her dinner on the both of them.

"What is that?"

"It's the millet and kimchee your father makes - you used to love this when you were little, Karma," her mom pushes the dish forward on the table but the scent is putrid.

"Mom, take that away. Seriously." she says as she starts backing out of the kitchen. Amy laughs and Molly relents with a knowing smile.

"I just thought it'd be good for the baby," her mom shrugs, and turns to look at Amy as though Amy is even remotely interested in any of this. Karma almost applauds her for being able to still act like she cares after so many years. "Did you know the millet is full of manganese - promotes the development of connective tissue, bones, and sex hormones in the body. I ate a lot of it when I was pregnant with Karma."

Amy just sort of half smiles and nods as she says, "That's um... really interesting. I'll have to see if I can get her to eat more of it."

"Oh, please do, dear. You could even pair it with some bean sprouts." Karma can't help but grimace at the thought of those but Molly forges on anyways and adds, "Pregnancy is known as a hot condition by Chinese medicine - bean sprouts are a really wonderful cold food to help balance the body's energy."

It's about here that Karma has to interrupt. "I hated bean sprouts before I was pregnant. I'm definitely not eating those things now. I can barely keep down Nutella and fluff."

"She really can't," Amy adds for good measure. Karma could kiss her for it... again.

"That reminds me! Karma, I can't make your appointment next week your father and I have an anti-gravity yoga class that morning followed by garden meditation. I'd skip it but we put down the deposit months ago when your father got a job. There's a six month waiting list."

It's only her fucking parents that would be on a six month waiting list for anti-gravity yoga - and who knows what the fuck that even means? She'd be mad but they have both been really supportive, even if it's in their own weird way. She just hates the idea of sitting in the office alone because she fucking already knows she's bringing this baby into the world at a disadvantage.

She doesn't need to be reminded of it.

"Mom!" she pouts as she throws herself into the chair next to Amy.

"We'll be there in spirit," Molly coos.

"That does not count," she counters and she hears Amy chuckling into her hand at the announcement. "That's like saying - that's like telling me George Washington is there in spirit too. That's completely ridiculous!"

"That's not untrue," Molly says, sagely.

Karma is about at her boiling point.

"Are you fucking insane?!" she screeches at the same time Amy says, "I'll take you."

She whips her head to her right, all traces of anger gone. How's that for mood swings. "You can't, Ames. You have school. You know they only let me leave for appointments."

"It's fine, I have a study hall that period and Christmas break is coming up. It's not like the teachers are doing anything anyway."

"You're sure?"

"I have yet to see the little dude in action. Come on, let me take you," and Karma really doesn't need Amy to beg for it.


She's been craving coffee like a motherfucker and every few days she gets irrationally angry at the limit on her caffeine intake. Yeah, she gets it, it's bad for the baby. And she really is doing everything she can to protect this little person. But, every once in awhile, she swears she'd give a limb for just a half a cup of something from Starbucks.

She debates begging Amy to just break the rules when she hops into the car for her appointment - but then she sees Amy's red eyes and everything kind of stops.

Karma reaches for her hand on the center console and says, "Madison?"

Amy nods but won't look over. She just takes her hand back, shifts to drive, and starts toward the hospital. Karma knows not to push it, but she also knows Amy and Madison have been having problems for the last few weeks while they're been attempting long distance (Madison is a bit of a gypsy and honestly their relationship confuses Karma entirely). Amy won't disclose any details (which totally sucks) but Karma goes to bed every night hoping it's not her fault - that the kiss they shared last week didn't ruin everything for her best friend.

It was just the spur of the moment with all the excitement about the baby (or at least that's what she keeps telling herself because Amy hasn't once acknowledged it).

The radio is the only thing that fills the silence on the way to the ultrasound and every time she looks over Amy's starting to look more and more angry with the world. It's kind of frustrating to be dragging this black cloud into such a happy moment as they wander the halls to her usual room.

Karma's used to the routine by now. She's had like forty-five of these appointments over the last few months, but it's entertaining to see Amy (angrily) inspecting all the strange equipment and her wide eyes when the tech comes in and works it all with ease. Sure, Amy still looks like she's having a shitty day, but Karma's kind of waiting with baited breath for what she knows will make things better.

"Hey, Karma, how've you been?"

Karma can't help but smile. They start every appointment just like this. She can see Amy watching from the chair in the corner.

"Hey, Cathy, you know just still throwing my guts up pretty regularly. How're the boys?" she asks referring to the two year old twin boys that she's learned a lot about over the last few months. And then because she suddenly remembers her manners, "Oh, and this is my best friend Amy. My mom couldn't make it today."

She almost feels a sort of odd attachment to all of these moments (Cathy, her boys, the weird apple juice they make her drink before these scans to make the baby move more, and the itchy feeling of the hospital gown against her skin). It feels hard to explain nostalgia for a moment that's she's still in, but somehow she feels it, and she knows suddenly that this is how it's going to feel as she watches her baby grow up and go through life.

"Nice to meet you, Amy," she says with a nod to the corner and a polite grin. "You'll have to tell Molly I said hi... And the boys are little monsters," Cathy answers with a laugh, while she lays that cold gel all over everything. Karma kind of hates the grease film she can never seem to get off her stomach from the stuff. "But, you know everyone warned me about the terrible twos."

Karma cringes - terrible twos? How is she going to deal with an unruly toddler? She wonders why having a kid doesn't come with a goddamn handbook, because she swears she's going to fuck this up. She wonders daily why there isn't some sort of application process for becoming a mom because fucking anyone can have a kid, but it certainly feels like there should be some sort of training involved.

She sees Amy scooting her chair closer out of the corner of her eye when Cathy finally lays the weird tool on her stomach that lets her meet her baby. A few months ago - the first time she did this - it was terrifying to see this little person growing inside her own stomach. But now, it's starting to feel more like anticipation and excitement to meet someone she's bringing into the world.

Sure, she's a little nervous that half this kid's genes are Liam Booker's, but she totally thinks that with her and Amy's influence it should be at least mostly normal. Or so she hopes.

Then the sound of a rapid, fluttering heartbeat fills the room and Karma can feel a wave of contentment wash over her - everything's okay. She finds she's always feeling just a little bit irrationally nervous that one month they're going to do this and he won't be there. It shocked her to no end when she realized just how devastated she'd be if that was the case.

"Is it supposed to be that fast?" Amy asks with a frantic edge to her voice, and eyes as big as saucers.

Cathy nods and continues to move around on her protruding belly until there's a clear figure and says, "Their hearts beat faster than ours, so it's a good sign. This baby is perfect."

Yeah, Cathy says the baby's perfect every month, but that part never really fails to soothe any anxiety that something could still go horribly wrong. Amy's watching the screen like a hawk, but Karma can see the telltale beginnings of a smile.

"And that's him?"

"That's the baby," Cathy says, carefully. Karma knows she knows whether it's a boy or girl, but she's never once slipped up with the actual information.

Amy just kind of laughs when she realizes she isn't going to get any confirmation here - she's been digging for solid proof that it's a boy since Karma's earliest ultrasounds. "You're really not gonna-"

"Nope," Cathy teases, cutting her off effectively. "Karma asked to be surprised and in this room, she's the boss."

Amy scoffs. "Karma, next month we're going somewhere new for this."

Cathy laughs louder than Karma's ever heard her before and something kind of clicks into place. This feels right. This feels a lot like it's their moment to share and there's something so easy about doing this with Amy. And Karma's been trying so hard not to get caught up in all of it but it feels slightly inevitable when they really do feel like some little dysfunctional family. Amy's always been her family - how is she supposed to not feel that way?

"He really is perfect," Amy finally says, with something like awe in her voice as she leans closer to peer at the screen.

"It'll be even better once he... or she is finally here, guys," Cathy tells them seriously.

Karma really hopes she's right. Seven months down, two to go.


Thirty eight weeks and two days. It feels like she's been pregnant for the last thirty eight fucking years, actually. If someone doesn't extract this kid soon Karma's totally going to go crazy. She's at least ninety four percent sure of that fact. And, she's pretty positive Amy's about done with her constant complaining, but sometimes she just needs to vent. She figures she only has like two more weeks to get it all out of her system anyways until she's gonna have to just suck it up and deal.

"Amyyyyyyyy," she whines as she manages to get up all of those god forsaken steps.

Someone walks into Amy's room, but it's not the head of blonde hair she's expecting. Sure, she and Lauren basically get along these days but they're not going to be sharing ice cream cartons to binge Netflix anytime soon. That's probably never going to be a thing for them - Karma can't say she's overly distressed about it.

"She went to dinner with Madison - said she'd be back to read to the baby tonight," Lauren tells her with a face full of disgust.

Karma knows it's all a front because she can't even keep track of the number of nights that Lauren's spent on the couch next to Amy during the fiftieth read through of 'Goodnight Moon'. Lauren's excited about this baby and no amount of sassy remarks is going to make Karma think otherwise.

"Right. I completely forgot she was home this week," and she is telling the truth. It's not easy to keep track of Madison's schedule when she's always traveling from one place to the next. It doesn't even feel like Amy's dating someone until nights like these when Karma's left to wallow in Amy's empty bed while Lauren looks on.

Lauren scowls at her answer and says, "Do me a favor and stop pretending like you support this Amy and Madison thing when I know you don't. And I sure as hell don't. Amy's just dating her because she's an experienced older woman that's good in bed - I should know, the walls in this house are pretty effing thin."

Karma doesn't even attempt to mask her reaction to that bit of information. She's never really gonna want to hear about Amy's spectacular sex life. Ever. Especially not with a girl like Madison, who's basically the equivalent of a goddess. She has that whole free spirited, Stevie Nicks-type gypsy thing going on. Yeah, Karma has eyes and she can definitely see what attracted Amy, but something about Madison has always seemed fake, like she's playing at this, or she bought the vibe she has going on like you'd buy a jacket at Forever 21. Karma thinks it's entirely possible Amy thinks the same and chooses to ignore it.

"I don't not support it."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night... but, for the record I think Amy could do a lot better than a girl who only has time for her when she's passing through town," Lauren gives her an indecipherable look, and Karma tries not to think too hard on it.

Things are too delicate right now for thoughts like those.

Lauren isn't wrong - Madison barely ever spends more than three consecutive nights in Austin. She's basically always on the run between concerts and shows and 'becoming one with the earth' (Karma briefly considers the thought that her mom would probably get along with Madison famously). She's one of those free spirited type chicks - everything Amy's not - and Karma has to wonder exactly where Amy thought this was ever going to go.

They're never going to have a future, not really.

"Amy deserves whatever makes her happy."

"Yeah, she does," Lauren says with a sincerity that Karma's never heard before.

Fuck.

She can't handle Lauren saying things like that - things that cause her heart to slam around in her chest like some sort of caged bird.

"By the way, I took care of some of those bitches at school today."

Karma turns her attention back to Lauren who's been lingering in the bathroom doorway. "You what?"

"It was nothing," she says as she lays her hand on the doorknob for support. "Just a few snobby princesses making some comments, but I handled it."

"You didn't have to-"

"You're right. I didn't," she shrugs. "But it's done now."

Lauren leaves after a few seconds, but the muted shock about all she just learned lingers. In what world is Lauren Cooper defending her at Hester? In what world is Amy dating some girl just for some fun in bed? And since when does Lauren say cryptic shit that messes with her head?

It's kind of all too much so instead, she lays back on Amy's bed and sighs.

And then, there's some sort of excruciating cramp-like feeling in the lower part of her stomach, and a lot of water between her legs.

"Lauren!" she screams, and there's terror in her voice that she knows Lauren hears immediately.

"This better be good," she says as she approaches, but Karma can see the fear written all over her face too.

"I… I think I'm in labor?"

There's a few tense moments where Lauren's face completely loses composure and Karma swears if Lauren doesn't get it together she's gonna end up having this kid on Amy's bed. Her love goes pretty deep, but she's pretty sure that even Amy doesn't love her that much.

"What do we do?" Lauren finally asks, and she sounds every bit like the eighteen-year-old kid she is. And Karma gets it – this is nothing short of horrifying, but she needs someone to step up (she just always sort of figured it'd be Lauren).

Karma breathes hard through another cramping sensation – she's just going to assume these are contractions – and stares at Lauren for a second. "We have to get to the hospital," she manages to grunt out.

At the mention of hospital, something flickers over Lauren's face, and then she's suddenly back to the Lauren Cooper that means business. Karma couldn't actually be more grateful for her cut-throat attitude than she is in this moment.

"Get downstairs and in the car, Ashcroft. I'm letting Amy know her ass better meet us there in ten."

She's about to have a baby, she has no idea what the fuck she's doing, and all she really wants right now is Amy.