Fitz wakes and he realizes that he's in Coulson's bed. Fully clothed, fortunately, and he's on top of the bedspread, but there's a quilt over him. Coulson puts on his armor, his suit and tie, in order to face the day.
He doesn't look like he drank Fitz under the table. No, the mask has been reapplied, but carefully, as the facade has cracks.
There's a softer knock on the door and Fitz jumps because well, he's in Coulson's bed. Fully dressed. On top of the bedspread, but he doesn't remember how he got there.
"I put you there," Coulson explains. "The chair is uncomfortable."
The knocking continues but softer.
"Come in," Coulson announces.
Agent May walks in carrying a bottle. She ignores Fitz in Coulson's bed, as though it's an everyday occurrence and hands the liter bottle to Coulson. She also gives him Tylenol.
"Drink it all. I'll have the Hangover Special ready for you in fifteen minutes." May announces and then disappears.
Coulson opens the Tylenol bottle, puts a bunch in his hand before swallowing them. He drinks the drink and grimaces after he finishes it.
"Hair of the dog. Get up, May rarely makes breakfast and it's worth it when she does," Coulson orders before he leaves the room. "Lock up when you leave."
It's awkward leaving Coulson's office as the spiral staircase is being stalked by his concerned team members. Fitz flushes, as it feels like he's doing the walk of shame, as he is wearing the same clothes as last night. However, Skye gives him an unexpected hug.
"I'm so glad you were there for him last night," she says.
"We just shared a bottle of scotch," protests Fitz. "Really good scotch but that's it."
Ward gives him an approving head nod and then Jemma hugs him too.
"Go have breakfast," she orders. "Later on, you'll have to tell us what we can do to help him. I'm so chuffed; what with you helping Coulson through this."
Him? Leopold Fitz, world renown for his lack of empathy. No social skills. He's an engineer, not an Agony Auntie.
"Fury's arriving later today," May informs Coulson. He nods and takes a gulp of his coffee. "Phil, drinking..."
"Didn't drink alone," he reminds her. "Fitz was there. He put me to bed while he slept on a chair."
She nods and then she puts a heaping plate of eggs, refried beans, tortillas, avocados and cheese in front of him. "One hangover special for you."
"Heuvos Rancheros," he says in a cheerful tone. May's heart breaks, as he tries too hard to be the Old Phil. "Does my cardiologist know that you're making me this? Oh, wait, I have a new heart."
His hands shake and his face grows bleak.
"I need to hold it together, Melinda. I can't let them know how unhinged I am. They'll take this from me," he softly whispers. "Fury gave me the plane, the team, fake Tahiti memories to make me want to live and he'll take it back if I start to crack."
"I'll help you," she says. "Now, eat. I told the kids you're eating breakfast in private today. Else they'd swarm you."
He twitches even while she mixes up another batch of her hangover cure.
"He probably doesn't need it. He's Scottish, which is why I picked him, plus he didn't drink as much as me," Phil quips. There's another reason why he picked Fitz, because Fitz keeps his mouth shut. He knows that because Fitz has never mentioned meeting Phil Coulson on Bell's Bridge a life time ago. And in Coulson's current condition, he'd much prefer if Fitz's psyche kept it that way.
When Fitz enters the room, Phil continues in a very dry tone, "Betcha didn't know I was a screamer."
He remembers screaming. A lot. Last night. In response, May rolls her eyes. It surprises him that her eyes have never popped out of her head and rolled on the floor in order to glare balefully at him. She puts Tylenol and the hangover cure in front of Fitz. "Have some," she orders with her unique Mama May Bear compassion.
"What is it?" the engineer asks.
"May's hangover cure," Coulson explains. "Best to chug it."
Fitz does and then gags. "Taste like piss." He flushes when he realizes what he's said in front of the two senior agents.
"I always thought it had a hint of battery acid," Phil quips. "Hot sauce?"
When he's done eating, he does the dishes, as it's only fair. Fitz hands him his dishes and Coulson says, "Thank you."
Fitz is a smart kid. He understands what Phil is thanking him for. Not for helping him with the dishes, but for listening to him last night.
That afternoon, Nick Fury comes to Coulson, because the Mountain refuses to go to Fury. Much is said on both sides; tearing and straining their friendship, their brotherhood... until Coulson shuts down. Cold.
"Cheese," Nick says in a tone that could only be described as begging. "I couldn't lose my one good eye."
It takes Phil far too long to respond. When he does, his voice is tightly composed as he's close to losing it completely. "Marcus, did you watch me while I screamed for death? I remember, how my voice broke and I still begged you to let me die."
He never calls Fury, Marcus except on the rarest of occasions.
"As often as I could be there for your surgeries, I was there," Nick Fury assures him. "I stayed with you when they prepped you. If I couldn't be there, Maria was. We never left you alone."
"I want my medical records. I want them unredacted and I do not wish to speak to you again until I've reviewed them."
"Agreed," a defeated Nick Fury concedes.
Nick Fury leaves, not with a flourish of his cape, but like a defeated dog, tail between his legs. Coulson notices not, instead he reads voraciously. When he's done, he locates May and hands her the records.
"Here's a little light reading. I'd advise you to review it on an empty stomach," he informs her. "I need to find Streiten."
It's a measure of their strong friendship that she just nods her head. Doesn't offer to come along, doesn't warn him to be careful. Just a nod of weary acceptance.
"What did he say?" Variations of that question hound Leo Fit all day.
"Nothing," he lies, because he can't reveal Coulson's nightmares, where he had begged Fitz to let him die. Nor will he ever reveal how when Coulson had thought Fitz was sleeping, he had wept like a man shattered into a hundred billion pieces. Because a thirteen year old Leopold Fitz has been that completely undone one time, standing on the railing of Bell's Bridge in Glasgow.
He had taken one foot off the rail, about to jump, but some crazy bearded American had tackled him. To this day, Fitz has no idea from where his guardian angel had appeared as there hadn't been anyone on the bridge.
Time fades even the jaggiest of memories, so what once was overwhelming pain, is washed out bits and pieces. He remembers unburdening himself to the American in a chip shop; how he didn't fit in, how he didn't belong anywhere. How his father was dead and his mother was working three jobs and how there was a gap between them, as she just couldn't understand him. And the bullying by his peers, all good jolly fun, supposedly, but how he just wishes it would just end.
Permanently. He remembers the American nodding his head.
"It will be get better," the American promises. "Promise me that you'll give it two weeks. If it doesn't, there's always the bridge."
What an odd thing to say but he swears that he'll give it another two weeks.
Three days later, he meets Siobhan from the Glasgow SHIELD office, who had gone to his school to locate him. Makes him takes various tests and his scores impresses her enough that she meets with his Mum, offers Leo a better education more suited for his talents.
He thinks the American was a SHIELD agent, but he's not sure. He wishes he could thank the American properly, to let him know it did get better, but the American never told Leo his name. It's not in his file, as Siobhan is listed as his first SHIELD contact.
"He said nothing?" Skye asks.
"He just didn't want to drink alone," Fitz explains.
Melinda May stops by his lab, as that is where the gang is hanging out. "Fury will be on the bus in about fifteen minutes. Ward, Skye, Simmons, I'd suggest staying here. Fitz." She tilts her head and he realizes that he's supposed to follow her.
They walk out of the lab and she turns to face him. "I predict Coulson will repeat last night and you will need to line your stomach."
"Why me?" Fitz asks. He wishes he doesn't sound so bloody plaintive, but really, why Leo Fitz?
"Coulson has decided." May says in a flat tone.
"I just don't know if I'm helping him. I'm not good with people," he explains.
"Little Bear, Coulson's decided that you are his drinking companion," Melinda May informs him. "That means you and I have been elected to protect Phil from Phil. We'll give him another day or two of heavy drinking because I assume he's unable to sleep. If in two days he's still deciding alcohol is his solution, we will need to talk to Simmons."
"He didn't sleep much last night," Fitz agrees.
"Catnaps at most, and he probably immediately dropped into REM sleep," May decides. "Every time he closes his eyes, he relives what happens. I'm assuming you didn't get much sleep, so go to your Pod, get some sleep. It will be a very long watch for you tonight."
He nods as he's exhausted. To his surprise, May squeezes his shoulder. "Thank you."
She seems almost human then.
Coulson returns back from his meeting with Dr. Frankenstein and he sits in the cargo bay long enough to compose his features. It takes time to internally rebuild himself, as his mental voice keeps sing-songing, "that thing".
Not a person.
Not Phil Coulson, but a thing.
Naturally, the kid's bedtimes have been ignored and they're in the lounge. He refuses to acknowledge their attempts to drag him into a conversation; instead, he searches for Fitz. The engineer is there, he looks uncertain. However, Phil remembers the suicidal boy he had once been.
"Promise me that you'll give it two weeks. If it doesn't, there's always the bridge."
Phil Coulson stands on the bridge's railing, and watches the river flow beneath his feet. It would be easier to jump, to return to the blessed peace of death, rather than remembering the overwhelming pain.
Fury had completely shattered Phil Coulson thanks to Fury's deluded beliefs that Phil Coulson didn't deserve to die. He owes Melinda too much to completely lean on her, not after Brahain came so close to destroying her. Leo Fitz reminds him how much life can change for the better in two weeks, oftentimes, so unexpectedly.
"Fitz," he says. "Office."
