The Cost of Living This Life
AN: Thanks for the reviews, faves, and follows. They are a lovely welcome for my first NCIS:LA story.
Spoilers: Up through season 7 and including spoilers for season 8. This is speculation on the storyline that will cover Daniela Ruah's maternity leave.
Disclaimer: Not mine (not even the DVDs, which I borrowed from the library this summer), not making any money from this.
Marty Deeks was exhausted. The team had already been awake for about twenty hours when they'd boarded the helo to a secondary base camp in Syria. They had been encouraged to sleep while they could during the flight, since they would have to be game-ready when they expected to land about two hours later. Deeks hated flying in a helicopter, though, and had trouble relaxing enough to do much more than doze off occasionally. As far as he knew, Kensi and Sam had a solid hour's nap before all hell broke loose. Callen, in the co-pilot's seat, stayed awake to assist Master Sergeant Stone if need be.
Not being a pilot, Deeks didn't know exactly what had happened to the chopper. He was reasonably certain they hadn't been hit by ground fire, but all of a sudden some sort of an alarm started buzzing from the cockpit. It seemed as if one emergency had been managed when another alert sounded. Kensi and Sam had woken at the sound of the first buzzer, and Deeks had grabbed Kensi's hand then. At first she didn't appear too worried, which calmed his nerves some. But as one system after another seemed to fail, the concern etched in Kensi's face morphed into upset and finally fear was the pilot issued a mayday over the radio.
Deeks recalled wondering at the time, and wondered again now, if this was just bad luck, or the work of the mole they had been sent to uncover. Not that he really cared at this point. All he cared about was lying in a hospital bed, still unconscious.
Kensi was hooked up to monitors that checked her pulse, her oxygen level, her blood pressure, her temperature. Various tubes disappeared under her blankets: some providing fluids and medication, some draining other liquids. She wore an oxygen mask that obscured some of her beautiful face, but gave her healthy air to breathe instead of poisonous fumes.
Deeks' chair was pulled as close to the hospital bed as possible, the bedrail down so he could occasionally rest his head on the mattress next to her arm. He hadn't let go of Kensi's hand since she'd come out of surgery a few hours earlier. It wasn't comfortable, especially since his left arm was in a sling. Soon after arriving at the hospital, Kensi was whisked off for scans and then to the operating room and Deeks consented to have his arm checked out. Callen and Stone had done a good job of popping the joint back in place, and aside from the expected residual swelling, he was fine. He could have used the painkiller he had tucked away in his pocket, but he didn't want to be zoned out when Kensi came out of surgery, or when she woke up.
Kensi hadn't been awake for longer than a few minutes at a time since being extracted from the chopper. The rescue unit was well-prepared, and had started to replace the fluid she'd lost as soon as they had her on the medevac chopper. They wrapped her leg wound to control the bleeding, but she had lost a lot of blood as they pulled her off that rod. He knew she was lucky, though, because the piece of metal hadn't torn any large blood vessels either going in or coming out. Had that happened, she would be dead right now.
He picked his head up at that thought to look at her face again. Just to reassure himself that Kensi was, in fact, still alive. Still with him.
Her eyes were open.
"Kensi." He stood up so he could get closer to her. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, "You're okay, baby. You're good. It's going to be fine. I love you." The assurances were as much for Deeks' own benefit as hers.
She said something, but between her weak voice and the mask, he couldn't make out her words. Kensi's hand came up to remove the offending piece of plastic, but Deeks stopped her. "No, Kens, leave that there for now. I'm going to get someone in here so they can check you out, then we'll talk, yeah?" He kissed her again. "I'll be right back."
True to his word, Deeks returned less than a minute later, and a nurse followed just a little while after. She began by copying the information from the monitors into the computer on a cart in the corner of her room, and then lifted up the blanket to check the bandage around Kensi's thigh. Deeks took a peek when she did, and saw that a fair amount of blood had seeped through.
"It's good to see you awake. I'm Colleen, and I'll be your nurse for the remainder of today. Let's take off that oxygen mask for a bit so we can chat." Colleen did just that, also helping Kensi adjust her bed and pillows to make her position more conducive to being awake than asleep.
"While we wait for the doctor, can you tell me your name?"
"Kensi Blye." Her voice was rough, and speaking initiated some coughing.
"Can she have some water?" Deeks asked anxiously.
"Yes, but small sips, okay Agent Blye?"
Kensi nodded as Deeks poured some water from the pitcher on the bedside table into a plastic cup that already held a straw. He held the cup for her as she drank, despite Kensi's effort to take it away. "I got it, Princess."
Clearing her throat, she insisted. "Give me the cup Deeks. I have two working arms, you know."
"Wow, you must be feeling better, you're one-upping me already." He thought her voice still sounded a little raspy.
"No, I'm not. But if you're holding that cup with your one available hand, what's going to be in my other one?" She successfully pulled the cup from him with her left hand as she held up her right for him to take.
He smiled as he entwined their fingers. "Touché," he said quietly.
Nurse Colleen, who stood there and watched the exchange with great amusement, cleared her own throat. "Are you ready to go on, Agent?" At Kensi's nod, the nurse continued the questions to assess mental status. "Do you know where you are?"
"A hospital, obviously. I'm guessing the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center?" Kensi knew that military personnel injured in the Middle East were usually brought here for assessment and initial treatment before being sent back to the US. She had been glad she was deemed healthy enough to fly straight home from Afghanistan a few years ago rather than having to stop here first.
"Correct. Welcome to Germany."
"Danke," said Kensi automatically.
"Thanks. No offense, but we'd rather be in LA." This from Deeks.
"So would I. No good beaches here or in Idaho where I'm from," said Nurse Colleen with a smile.
"Make you a deal: you take good care of my Kensalina here, we've got a guest room and a dog who loves long, romantic walks on the beach ready for you whenever you want."
"I ever get to the west coast, I might just take you up on that, thanks. Now that I'm done making my vacation plans, can you tell me the date, Agent Blye?"
"You can call me Kensi at this point, since my partner is probably going to have to open up our home as a B & B before my stay here is over. He's Marty, by the way. Or Deeks. Whichever." She tilted her head toward the man in question. "Oh, you wanted to know the date. Last I remember it was September 17th." Looking out the window she observed it was broad daylight. It was nearing late afternoon when the chopper went down in Syria, so it had to be the next day. "So today is hopefully the 18th."
"Got it in one. Good. How is the pain in your leg? On a scale of zero to ten, with zero being no pain at all and ten being the worst possible pain?"
"Um, like a five maybe? But I wouldn't really call it pain at this point, more a dull annoying throbbing."
"Sounds like the painkiller's staring to wear off. I'll make sure you get another dose soon. It's always easier to address the pain before it gets too bad."
"Please don't try to be a hero." Both Kensi and Deeks looked up at the doctor who had just walked into the room. "The less pain you're in, the more rest you get, the quicker you heal and get out of here." He smiled and extended his hand, "I'm Dr. Patel. And you are…?
"Alert and oriented to person, place and time, considering I answered all of Nurse Colleen's questions accurately."
"And clever, apparently."
"Stop flirting, Kensi. Monty will be jealous when he hears about this." Deeks kissed the back of the hand he was holding for good measure.
"I'm not flirting. I'm trying to impress the doc here so he'll let me go home as soon as possible."
"Well then, let's get started with the physical exam. Would you like your friend to stay?"
"Myboyfriend," at that Kensi squeezed Deeks' hand, "definitely needs to be here. He'll be the one helping me during my recovery."
At that, Deeks introduced himself to the doctor.
The nurse drew the curtain around the bed for privacy from the doorway as the doctor began a cursory exam, starting with Kensi's pupillary reaction to light.
"I know you've been basically unconscious since you were brought in last night, so I'll fill you in on the damage and what we've done for you. Stop me if you have any questions."
Kensi nodded for him to continue.
"The most immediate threat was from the perforating wound to your thigh. An x-ray showed no fragments of the rod that impaled you and no damage to your femur. The object penetrated through your thigh distal to the bone, which is good news. The MRI showed there was some tissue and muscle damage, which we repaired in surgery. We also irrigated the entire wound track and stopped some bleeding from minor blood vessels. We'll be giving you at least one more bag of antibiotic, just to make sure you don't develop an infection. Can you move your foot for me?"
She did, wincing some at the discomfort.
"That's good. We didn't think there was any nerve damage, but that pretty much confirmed it. How did it feel?"
"I could feel a pulling deep in my leg. It didn't hurt so much as ache."
The doctor nodded. "That's expected, and will improve as your body heals. You've also got a number of stitches to close both the entry and exit wounds." He moved the blanket from Kensi's leg and looked at the bandaged area on the top of her thigh, then made her shift onto her left side so he could check the back of the thigh. "Looks like there's still some bleeding going on. Nurse Colleen will change your dressing and check the wounds later on tonight."
He turned to look at the computer for a moment to refer to her chart. "Do you have a headache?"
"Yes, but not as bad as before."
Dr. Patel noted something in Kensi's record. "I know you were exposed to the fumes from the chopper fuel for longer than we would have liked, so I want to be alert to any signs of neurological impact. Your pupils responded normally, and as you noted, you are alert and oriented times three. So far I'm not seeing any signs of problems. Mr. Deeks, over the next few days it would be helpful if you could keep an eye out for unusual memory loss or tremors, particularly in Ms. Blye's hands. And Ms. Blye, you need to report if that headache gets worse, particularly while you're on painkillers."
"We will," Kensi promised. "All that could happen from the fumes?"
"They are the most likely possible side effects of exposure to such toxins, yes. The other area to be concerned about is your lungs, also due to the fumes. We performed a chest x-ray when you first arrived, and didn't see any significant or irreversible damage. But sometimes that doesn't show up right away on the scans."
He moved to the bedside stand and pulled a contraption from a drawer. "This is an incentive spirometer. I'd like you to make sure you are breathing normally, then after an exhale, put the end of the tube in your mouth and inhale slowly and deeply. You want to see how high you can get the marker to go up while keeping the little ball in this range." He pointed to specific markings and then stood back to watch Kensi perform. Patel seemed surprised by the results, and asked her to repeat the task a few more times.
"What's wrong?" asked Deeks, who also caught the look.
"Nothing, actually. What you just did is nearly typical for a post-op patient. To be honest, I was expecting more impaired function."
"Why?" This from Kensi.
"Your blood oxygen levels have been dropping, presumably since the oxygen mask was removed?" He turned to the nurse for confirmation, and she nodded in agreement.
"Even with the mask on, she started at the low end of normal: 96% when she first woke up."
Pointing out a number on one of the monitors, the doctor picked up the discussion. "It's at 93% now, so let's put the mask back on while I explain my surprise."
Kensi made a face of displeasure while Deeks helped her readjust the equipment. He sat down and took Kensi's hand again before turning his attention back to the professionals. "Okay, doctor, what's going on?"
"I'm not surprised that Ms. Blye's blood oxygen levels are low without the support of additional oxygen from the mask. I had assumed there would be some impact to your lungs from all the fumes you inhaled. But the spirometer suggests near-normal lung capability. Do you get much aerobic exercise?"
"Kensi's very active. She runs regularly and is in great shape. And I don't just mean to look at her." Deeks winked at his girlfriend and partner.
"That could explain the discrepancy. I'm going to order a lung function test, then, and we'll confirm whether there's been any damage. Do you have any questions?"
Kensi took the mask off and asked, "When can I eat and when can I get out of here?"
Deeks smiled, shook his head, and whispered, "That's my girl," as he placed his hand on hers to return the mask over her nose and mouth.
Nurse Colleen said, "I can get you lunch fairly soon. Doctor, are there any dietary restrictions?"
"No. As for leaving here, it will be a couple of days at least. We need to monitor you for infection, and I'm not prepared to allow you to spend more than half a day on a plane until I'm more confident you don't have lung damage."
Off came the mask again. "Can I at least get up and walk around, with crutches, maybe?"
He looked at Kensi like this was an odd request. "Where do you want to go, exactly?"
"I don't know, up and down the hall? To the cafeteria? I don't do staying in bed very well, and I'd bet that the more I'm up and around, the happier I'll be, the better I'll sleep, and the faster I'll heal."
Deeks gestured for her to replace the mask. "That and she wants to be able to find donuts."
"You would need to have a portable oxygen tank with you, which you can't manage with crutches."
Once more Kensi lifted the mask. "Then it's a really good thing the love of my life here still has one working arm." Kensi threw her winningest smile at Deeks and he gave her a pointed look until she put the mask back on.
Doctor Patel sighed. "How about this? I'll get you a portable oxygen tank starting tomorrow, and as long as you have Mr. Deeks or a nurse with you, you can walk around this ward. But you have to stop immediately if you get dizzy or short of breath. If you go any further, I want you in a wheelchair with the oxygen."
"What about using the bathroom toady?" Kensi replaced the mask without prompting this time. She could sense they were all getting frustrated.
"I'll have the catheter removed and crutches brought in this afternoon. You don't need to bring oxygen, but you do need to have someone accompany you from the bed to the bathroom, and then back again. Except for those few minutes, you need to have that oxygen mask on."
This time she simply pulled the mask away from her mouth enough to be heard and understood. "How about one of the ones that goes under my nose? This thing is really annoying."
Now the doctor looked at Deeks, who answered the unspoken question. "Yes, she is always this stubborn and argumentative."
Kensi opened her mouth to argue that she was not argumentative, and then realized how futile it would be, so she kept quiet.
Patel tried to stare Kensi down. "I'm sorry, but no, right now that won't provide enough oxygen." When it became clear that Kensi wasn't going to push for anything more, the doctor and nurse excused themselves with a list of promises to fill.
Three hours later, Kensi and Deeks lay asleep in her bed. In the hour after the doctor left, she had gotten another dose of pain killer, eaten, had her crutches delivered, and her catheter removed, in that order. While she hadn't needed to use the toilet, Kensi wanted to brush her teeth and try to freshen up at the sink as best she could. A male nurse's assistant came in first to teach Kensi how to get out of bed and Deeks how to best support her while she did so. Getting into and out of bed and then to and from the bathroom had been a bigger production than Kensi had anticipated, even with Deeks spotting her and wheeling her IV/monitor stand behind her, and she was ready to take a nap. She hadn't been surprised that she was mildly dizzy when she was upright, and figured it wasn't unusual given that she hadn't stood up in nearly a day.
Upon returning to the bed, Kensi stayed as far to the right as she could so that Deeks could squeeze in on her left. He hadn't wanted to, but Kensi knew he hadn't slept much while she'd been unconscious, and probably wouldn't sleep well in the chair at her bedside either. He turned slightly onto his right side and slid his right arm under her pillow so he could keep an eye on her, happy to watch her sleep. It wasn't long before he drifted off himself.
"Aww, Sam, how come don't you cuddle me like that?" Callen kept his voice low enough not to wake the agent and detective if they were sleeping deeply.
"Because I'm the injured one." The Navy SEAL kept his volume down as well as he spoke from his wheelchair. His left ankle was in a brace.
"So you're saying you want me to cuddle you?"
"I think you'd have to lay on top of him, because you sure couldn't fit next to him in one of these beds," whispered Deeks, who still had his eyes closed, but turned his head away from Kensi so as not to wake her.
"You saying I'm fat, Deeks?"
"I thought we agreed that 'husky' was the correct term?" Callen supplied helpfully.
"I'm sitting here in a wheelchair and my teammates are making fat jokes."
"That's because they know they could never get away with it otherwise." All eyes turned toward Kensi, who had taken the mask completely off her head to speak.
"It would be wise for them to remember that I have a long memory, then," threatened Sam as he glared at the other men. Looking back at Kensi, his tone changed and he smiled at her, "How you doing, Kensi?"
"Not bad, considering."
"What's the verdict?" Callen asked.
This time Deeks spoke, wanting Kensi to preserve her oxygen. "No permanent damage to her leg, but they're not sure yet about the side effects from all those fumes. They'll be doing some test on her lungs tomorrow to see if there's any problem there, because apparently there's not enough oxygen in her blood unless she's got that mask on." He stressed the last word in the hopes she'd take the hint and put the device back where it belonged.
"Don't get your panties in a twist, partner. We have company and it would be rude of me to just sit here and not participate in the conversation. For example," she looked at Sam, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm good. Ankle was a clean break, so no surgery. And the concussion was mild. But the combination of the two means they don't trust me with crutches just yet."
"Kensi bullied her doctor into letting her use crutches to go to the bathroom," Deeks said before he stopped and looked confused. "Wait, why only a brace if your ankle is broken? Shouldn't you have a cast that we could be signing?"
"The swelling has to go down some more, especially since G and I will be flying out tomorrow. I'll see a specialist when I get home and probably have a cast fitted then."
"Excellent! Save us space to sign it when we get back, yeah? Actually, I think I'll compose a poem since I have the time. Maybe a limerick. How about an acrostic using my name, because yours is too short? No! I got it—a haiku! Sam Hanna is definitely a haiku type of guy."
"I'm going to haiku you, you don't quiet down," warned Sam.
Callen added, "Kensi, I'm not sure why you even bother to take that mask off. It's not like you can get a word in edgewise with Deeks here."
Sam and Callen stayed and chatted with them until Deeks noticed that Kensi's blood oxygen number was getting low again and made her put the mask back on. They wished each other well and the senior agents returned to Sam's room to try to get some sleep in anticipation of the long day of travel ahead of them.
Bright and early the next day, an orderly came to take Kensi, bed and all, for her lung function test. Breakfast was waiting for her when she got back, and Deeks had managed to fold up the cot they had provided him for the night.
"They didn't bring you Jell-O, so I got you a donut from the cafeteria. Interestingly, the hospital does not consider sugared gelatin to be an appropriate breakfast food," he said as he slid the tray in front of her.
"You are the best! No wonder I love you." She tugged on his hand to bring him in for a kiss.
His hand now on the side of her neck, Deeks sat on the bed next to her, "I love you too, Kens. So much."
Kensi heard her boyfriend choke up as he spoke. She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes and whispered, "I'm okay, you know. We were in a helicopter crash and we lived to tell the tale."
"Yeah, but for a time there, when you were stuck in the chopper, I was so scared for you."
"I know. But you did a great job hiding it from me. I saw how calm you seemed and it calmed me. Thank-you for that." She offered him a sweet smile.
"That's what partners do. What we do." As Deeks leaned in to kiss her again, they heard someone clearing a throat and looked up to see Dr. Patel walking toward Kensi's bed.
"Sorry to disturb you," he gave them a friendly smile. "I'd like to take a look at your wounds today, if you don't mind. How are you feeling?"
"My leg is very sore and tender, but no major pain. The headache is a steady, dull throb. The mask is still a pain in my ass."
"Did you get to wander the halls at all yesterday?"
"No, my trip to the bathroom in the afternoon wiped me out, and then the other members of my team came by for a visit in the evening. I was actually hoping to venture out there this morning."
The doctor moved away the blanket over Kensi's leg and began cutting away the bandage. "Didn't someone change this dressing last night?"
"Yes, Nurse Colleen woke me up to do it. She said everything looked fine."
He examined the area closely. "And you didn't walk around at all?"
Deeks spoke up this time. "She got up to go to the bathroom twice; one in the afternoon and once in middle of the night. Is something wrong?"
"There's more bleeding going on than I expect, though the wound does seem to be healing properly." He had Kensi shift onto her side to examine the exit wound. "Less blood here, probably because you've been laying with the back of your leg against the mattress this whole time. But still more than I'd like to see." Patel sighed as he seemed to think for a few moments. "I'm going to get a nurse in here to re-wrap your leg while I check to see if the results from your lung function test came back yet. Excuse me for a few minutes."
Kensi and Deeks looked at each other and shrugged.
"You could practically hear the gears turning in his head. I wonder what he's thinking?" said Kensi.
"I'm sure it's nothing horrible." He was looking at the stitches on the back of her thigh. "Roll back over, I want to see the top."
"You sound like a five-year-old excited to be looking at something gross."
"Nah, not gross. But cool, definitely cool. That's going to be an awesome set of scars, babe. Very sexy." He whispered the last words as a nurse came into the room.
After introductions, they remained silent as a different nurse, Raul, cleaned the areas and applied a topical antibiotic before redressing the leg. Kensi had put her oxygen mask back on because she needed to breathe deeply from the discomfort of the procedure. Deeks kept peeking at Kensi's face, checking for signs of more pain than she was admitting to, but didn't see anything that worried him. What did worry him, and what he suspected Kensi was thinking about too, was the look he had seen on the doctor's face. Something was telling Deeks that Kensi's recovery was not going to be as simple and straightforward as they had thought.
Of course the test results weren't ready. When Dr. Patel had returned with that news he told them he had ordered some blood tests but was reluctant to share what he was looking for. "I'll have a better idea when I get more information. I'll be back later this afternoon." He left soon after, encouraging Kensi to get out of bed and walk around a bit with her crutches. He asked that she be on the lookout for any dizziness or fatigue and be prepared to report back to him later.
Kensi didn't need to be told twice. As soon as a dose of painkillers was in her IV bag, she and Deeks took off for the other end of the hallway. It was awkward and slow-going, but it felt good to be out of her bed and out of that room. Kensi was not permitted to put any weight on her right leg, so she needed both crutches to ambulate. Deeks, her one-armed sidekick, walked alongside her, pulling her IV/monitor stand, on which also hung her portable oxygen tank. He'd joked that this was what they'd be like in the Super-Secret Agents Old Folks Home in fifty or sixty years.
When they made it back to the room Kensi was too tired to eat lunch. She told Deeks he could eat it but warned him to leave her the Jell-O.
She'd been awake for about an hour when Dr. Patel returned. "So, how was your walk?"
"It was great to get out of this room for a while. I think I mentioned already I don't like to be cooped up." Kensi rolled her eyes when she heard Deeks mutter something about lasers.
"Any dizziness or lightheadedness?"
She nodded. "When I first stood up, and then when I turned around. Also when I stopped to rest at the end of the hall."
"How about unusual fatigue or loss of energy?"
"I know I don't have my usual level of energy, but I'm pretty sure that's because I've been in bed for the past two days."
"Not to mention your body is recovering from a trauma," Deeks added.
"Right. But I needed to rest at the end of the hall, almost to catch my breath. So we made sure to walk back even slower. And when we got back here, I wasn't just tired. I was exhausted. I mean, like someone drugged me kind of exhausted."
"And that's not typical for you?"
"Not really. My doctor at home told me I have adrenal fatigue. Our jobs are very high-stress, and sometimes I crash after big adrenaline rushes. But walking down the hall couldn't have caused a surge of adrenaline like that, I don't think."
"I noticed earlier that your IV site had developed a bruise. Do you tend to bruise easily?"
"I wouldn't say that. Our jobs can be very…physical at times, and I may get more bruises than the average person, but I don't think I get them any more easily." She looked at Deeks for confirmation, and he nodded his agreement.
"So you don't just find bruises and have no idea how you got them?"
"No. Why? I don't understand what all of this has to do with a perforating leg injury."
The doctor sighed, "It doesn't. I was just hoping that some of your symptoms and test results could be explained by something simple, like anemia." He began palpating different areas of Kensi's abdomen.
Kensi could hear the panic creeping into her partner's voice when he asked, "What are you getting at, Doc? What's wrong with her?"
"I'm not entirely sure yet. Your lung function test was basically normal, so that's not the problem. But the blood test shows a number of things that concern me. Several of your blood counts are low, which would explain your reduced blood oxygen levels, fatigue and dizziness, the bruising, and the fact that your wounds are bleeding more than they should be."
"Wait, so the crash caused this?" Kensi was having trouble putting two and two together; none of this made sense.
"Maybe. I'd like to send you for some scans to check for internal bleeding. Many of these symptoms can be explained if you've been losing blood we're unaware of. That would be the best case scenario, since it's probably the easiest to treat. But given that you have no tenderness in your abdomen, I really don't think that's the case."
"And if you're right?"
"Then we need to start considering conditions that may have predated the trauma."
"Like what?" Deeks' voice was quiet and serious.
"Some cancers and leukemias would need to be ruled out. Lupus, aplastic anemia, and hypersplenism as well. It's possible that what your doctor thought was adrenal fatigue was really early symptoms of one of these."
"But wouldn't those have shown up in the bloodwork she ordered at the time?" Now Kensi could hear the panic in her own voice. Cancer – he said cancer.
"Not necessarily. But let's cross that bridge if we get to it. Let me get you scheduled for a CT scan, and an ultrasound study if needed. Look, I know this advice will be impossible to follow, but try not to worry right now. We don't know what exactly is going on, so don't let all the possibilities overwhelm you." He smiled gently at them. "Why don't you take another walk after dinner? That should help you sleep soundly tonight."
Kensi looked at Deeks as the doctor left. At some point, probably during the last few minutes, her partner had taken her hand. She hadn't noticed until now. She was stunned. She had survived being impaled in a helicopter crash only to find out she might have cancer? Kensi opened her mouth to speak, but found she had no words. She must have looked…she didn't know how she must have looked to Deeks, but all of a sudden he was sitting next to her, pulling her into the hardest hug he could with the use of only one arm.
He whispered into her ear, "Hey, no, it's okay. It's going to be okay. You know what? No matter what it is, you'll beat it. And I'll help you beat it, yeah? Whatever's going on, Kens, we'll get you through it. I promise."
Kensi knew Deeks was making a vow he had no power to keep.
