Author's Note: This oneshot is the reason this story is also a comedy. But it involves Marvin, so I'm not surprised.

Anyway, please leave a review if you like it! Story will update every other Saturday.


Two: Chemistry

In which Marvin is bad at science and Conner is glad he's fireproof.

Chemistry class was always an exercise in restraint for Conner for three reasons. First, he and M'gann hadn't been paired together. Second, he'd ended up paired with Marvin. Third, Marvin was absolutely awful at Chemistry.

Today, the pairs were instructed to set up a Bunsen burner, melt a specific array of components into the beaker, and then flash cool it in the ice bucket to create a sort of hardened foam. The teacher had mentioned there was a surprise if the pairs managed to do it correctly. Conner had scanned his Cadmus implanted knowledge and looked for what the components would mix into, but he hadn't had much luck.

"Any ideas?" he asked M'gann. She and Wendy were partnered up next to him and Marvin.

She shrugged. "Nope!" Then she grinned. "Maybe it'll smell really good."

"Or maybe it'll explode," said Marvin, sliding up to Conner. Conner shot him a look. The last thing he needed was for this experiment to explode.

"I hope not," said M'gann.

Wendy patted her shoulder. "I don't like when they explode either," she said.

The pairs set to work on mixing their components into the singular beaker. Conner made sure to carefully measure out each component before adding it. He checked and double checked. Studied them closely. Even read the labels over and over again.

"Always the perfectionist," said M'gann fondly. Her mental voice wrapped itself around Conner's thoughts. He couldn't help but smile.

"Of course," he replied, letting his own thoughts entangle with hers. "How are you with that burner?"

M'gann was watching Wendy pour the components into the beaker. She stood back a foot and measured things out, carefully keeping one eye on the flames.

"Fine," said M'gann. "Wendy thinks I'm scared of fire, which helps. She's very understanding."

Conner let the link drop after a last brush of his affection at M'gann's mindscape. Then he returned to keeping all his attention on the ingredients before him.

To his left, Marvin leaned against the counter, folding his own lab instructions into a paper airplane. In his peripheral vision, Conner could see Marvin putting all of his effort into the creases. His tongue was sticking out. His hair hung in his face. Conner shook his head and kept measuring.

He grabbed for the glass rod to stir the mixture, only to notice it was missing.

"Marvin? Did you get the glass stir rod?" asked Conner. Marvin hummed noncommittally. "Marvin." Conner let his voice go firm.

Marvin sighed. "Yeah, yeah, it's somewhere." He made a vague hand gesture.

Conner sighed and looked around the lab table for it. The rod wasn't behind the Bunsen burner. Or with the second beaker. Or mixed with the components. He didn't find it with the measuring scoop or the scale or his own lab instructions.

Finally, Conner found it tucked into the sink, half balanced on the drain like a teetering dancer.

He plucked it up and stirred the mixture, careful to adjust the heat to keep it low and consistent. The beaker was starting to boil now. Conner's nose told him that it was heating evenly throughout. The color of the mixture turned from white to pale yellow as he stirred.

He couldn't help the smile on his face. This was going well.

"Ta-da," Marvin whispered, holding up his paper airplane. Conner fought the urge to crumple it. Marvin was not going to wreck this experiment.

But Marvin evidently wasn't listening to his thoughts, because he drew back and threw the airplane.

It spiralled through the air, making a lazy loop around the classroom. Karen ducked to avoid getting hit. Mal took a step back. Several other students made various sounds of protest as the airplane sped by. Conner kept one eye on the beaker and one on the airplane.

The paper airplane swept toward the teacher's desk. She flailed at it, but it was too high, and she only succeeded in knocking over her coffee.

"Shoot," hissed the teacher under her breath. She ducked out of the classroom door. Probably to find some paper towels.

"Oh dude, it's gold!" said Marvin. Conner looked at the mixture. Sure enough, it had turned a metallic gold.

Marvin grabbed a scoopula. "Hang on, I wanna paint some of it on the airplane."

Conner spied the metal chunk on the scoopula a moment too late. "Marvin no!" he shouted.

The scoopula hit the mixture and, almost immediately, it burst into flame. The fire roared up the scoopula, causing Marvin to drop it. From there, the scoopula hit the lab bench. The fire leaped, caught the lab instructions, and torched down toward the sink.

Marvin's hand, meanwhile, bumped the beaker, sending it crashing next to Wendy and M'gann. The fire caught their own beaker. M'gann yelped and jumped back, which made Wendy yelp as well. Which sent their beaker flying into the next and then the next and then the next.

Within moments, the entire row of the lab bench was a mess of broken glass, bubbling chemicals, and dancing fire.

Conner grabbed the ice bucket on the floor. Dumped it out in the sink and ducked toward the entrance of the room. He filled the bucket with sand and set to work pouring it on the fire. The fire licked close to his hands. And one of the students running away from it bumped him almost into the fire. The dull heat was nothing to Conner. He kept pouring sand.

In less than a minute, Conner had all the fire out. He sighed and set down the bucket.

"Dude are you okay?" asked Marvin. "I thought you put your hand in the fire!"

Conner nodded. "Yeah, fine. Just an optical illusion."

M'gann walked up to the two, where they now stood by the door. She smiled weakly at Conner. Wendy had her by the shoulders, probably holding M'gann up.

"You okay?" asked Conner. She nodded.

A moment later, the teacher walked in. She dropped the paper towels in shock. "What happened in here?"

Conner jerked a thumb toward Marvin. "Why don't you ask him?" he asked. Marvin's only response was to groan.