Lizzy angrily brushed the hair out of her face again.

In truth, it was somewhat too blustery for her to have walked and the air was slightly too cold to be comfortable. Still, she hadn't been able to stay in the house any longer. She hadn't been able to walk so much as she would have liked recently and she'd found it hard not to try to run like she had as a child as soon as she was outdoors.

She hadn't of course – she was far too refined now to do such a thing. Children were excused failings that adults were not.

And so she had returned to the house – as a dutiful daughter ought – and then stopped. And found herself utterly incapable of facing her mother. Of facing anyone. So she had instead disappeared back into their gardens and wandered around instead. After all, there could be no harm in that. She was near enough to the house that she would be able to come quickly if anything of import happened.

And that was all that truly mattered, was it not?

"Miss Elizabeth!" The ever cheerful voice sounded so out of place amidst her thoughts, that it was all Elizabeth could do to not jump at the words, but instead to turn around and paste a smile on her face.

"Mr Bingley." Her eyes had barely alighted upon him before she realised that he was there too. It then took almost unknown depths of self control for her to stop herself from gaping, or crying, or expressing any of the multitudes of emotions that passed through her in that instant and instead to turn and smile sweetly and greet him with equal grace. "Mr Darcy." Another second passed, an interminable moment or so it felt to her. Did he look vastly different? She spoke to distract herself as much as anything else. "I did not realise you had returned to Netherfield."

"We only arrived this morning." Mr Bingley still spoke with the same joviality, the same hints of easy smiles – although for once he seemed as affected by the awkwardness of the situation as she was. "We came here as soon as we could..."

That left no doubt in Lizzy's mind that Mr Bingley intended to reconcile with Jane – although why he would be here instead of with her she couldn't tell.

"Your younger sisters told us we could find you here – and that your elder sister has gone to Meryton with your aunt. I hope you don't mind us interrupting your solitude?"

"Not at all." Elizabeth hardly marked the words which came out of her own mouth. Why wouldn't he speak? She knew that he was looking at her – it was with another of those impossible expressions – so veiled, but simultaneously meaningful, that it was almost impossible to decipher.

"Well..." Mr Bingley cast his eyes between the pair of them a couple of times. "I think I shall look at some of these marvellous flowers, but I daresay you have things to speak of – I am sure I shall hear none of it." If it weren't for the warm smile Bingley cast Lizzy as he left, she wasn't sure that she wouldn't have been able to hold herself together at all.

She barely understood herself. How could she be so weak and foolish?

A moment or two passed in silence as Mr Bingley picked his way a distance from them – near enough to still be a chaperone and yet far enough that they could claim some privacy. If only Lizzy knew that privacy was what she wanted, instead of this unease. They were being utterly bizarre and unreasonable – that thought startled her into action – a small smile reminiscent of her father's challenging smirk wended its way across her features.

"Are we to speak sir? Or shall we continue to look impassively at one another until someone else interrupts us?"

The words seemed to startle him into some semblance of mind – almost as though he had been lost in thought only moments before. Suddenly his face had interest in it again – although it maintained its moderate pallor. Lizzy couldn't help but fear that that somehow was a result of her presence.

"I... understand that my aunt came to see you?" The words were spoken in his slow deliberate way, that Lizzy had eventually realised were due to his desire to say exactly what he meant. Still the effect had her struggling for breath. But she refused to let that show; she had pride enough to not let him see how much his words affected her.

"She did." Truth to tell, Lizzy had always assumed that if she ever had a chance to discuss this with him it would have been in far more favourable circumstances.

"I must apologise for what she said to you – she came to see me – I gather she said many things that she ought not..."

"But did she say anything that was untrue?" Elizabeth hadn't meant to say it. That had been what she had been wondering about for the past weeks of course, but she had had no intention to mention that to him. If he was to jilt her – as she had no doubt he would, his aunt had made that situation utterly clear – she wouldn't make it harder for him. Not when he had come back to tell her to her face, and brought Bingley back to Jane.

She couldn't even look at him as she waited for his response. She was too scared her eyes would simply reflect the pain she was trying to conceal.

"You disagreed with her, did you not?" he almost sounded agitated. Lizzy found herself looking to him in confusion. "She was most displeased by that – she would hardly speak of anything else."

Elizabeth tried to find the words to apologise for that. She had tried to be polite to the woman and to treat her with deference and respect. But it had been impossible. Who could bow down to such an affront? Her pride would not allow it, nor could she truly regret her words. She would have said them again if she had had another chance.

Perhaps it was for the best then that her words stuck in her throat, and she could only wait for him to continue.

"I confess that that gave me such hope – I..." He sighed before looking back at her with a strange mix of pain and hope. "I hardly thought that you would have accepted me before – I asked for courtship too soon, and I knew that from your reply, but... I couldn't help myself. I didn't think that I could have stood to wait." Elizabeth wanted to look away, wanted to hide her confusion, but she couldn't. She had expected him to speak of regrets and of his sorrow – or at least to be blunt. She hadn't expected such tired warmth. She couldn't even truly decide what it was. "And then my Aunt told me of what you had said – and I confess I would have been back here that very day had Bingley not promised to see his sisters somewhere that evening..."

Lizzy could only stare at him mutely for a second, her eyes filling with bizarre tears she couldn't explain. She fought for control – and succeeded of course, years living with her mother had given her an ability to rally from almost anything, no matter how mortifying or strange.

"You... meant to come back?" Her voice sounded strange, even to her own ears. "To continue our courtship?" She couldn't even smile yet, she couldn't quite believe it.

A frown descended with unexpected alacrity. "You doubted that?" He looked as though he were on the verge of pacing, although he didn't act on the impulse. "Do you mean to say that you truly didn't receive any note? Mr Bingley assured me that he had – I assumed that your sisters must have been misinformed but..."

Elizabeth face was fighting a war between confusion and joy. "We have hardly had any correspondence – We had a letter from Georgiana when she had just arrived, but she hadn't seen you then..."

Darcy smiled quickly. "Georgie was quite keen to come back – I have no doubt that she will arrive at Netherfield later this afternoon – no matter what propriety might suggest about her staying with us. She'll claim that Mrs Annesley is companion enough – or why else would I have hired her? – but I know she has written since – perhaps the mail has simply been delayed?"

Lizzy felt her smile fall. "So we would have thought too – except we also received a message from Miss Bingley... – and that wrote of your intentions to remain in town for the entire season."

Darcy paled visibly at that - which was actually quite surprising considering his lack of colour before. That was something that Lizzy had failed to notice before, putting it down to his awkwardness at having to break his word.

"She... I don't ... That is to say I didn't..." All of Darcy's self possession seemed to have deserted him and he was left simply stuttering. Elizabeth wished more than anything that she could simply understand.

"Darcy!" Bingley suddenly boomed, cutting into any semblance of conversation they might have claimed. "Why on earth have you not sat down yet?" He seemed to suddenly recall Lizzy's presence mid speech. "I'm sorry to have interrupted -" he said in the least unapologetic manner that Elizabeth could recall from him. "But you swore to me that..."

Darcy was looking at Bingley with a kind of distant surprise, and Elizabeth rather got the impression that Mr Bingley was not likely to cease for a good while yet.

So instead she, with the impatience she had been trying hard to conceal since she had seen the gentlemen, simply interrupted.

"Shall we not sit down then Mr Darcy?" Her words had the desired effect; Mr Bingley stopped his tirade and Darcy looked at her again. The latter also nodded before walking deliberately towards the bench she indicated, which she hesitantly lowered herself onto as well - grateful for the wide space, allowing her to almost see his features. She needed all the clues that she could find to guess at his emotions.

"I would never have supposed that Miss Bingley could have sent such a note..." Her companion finally allowed - Mr Bingley had backed away once his friend had sat, watching them with vigilance, but clearly far too hesitant to interfere any further. "Nor that you would have had any cause to believe it..." Here he paused once more as though it was difficult to know how to continue. "Unfortunately, I became somewhat... Indisposed... Or at least, unwell..." His frown continued for a second, before his face cleared back into its more normal impassivity. "And Mr Bingley was too good a friend to leave me in London - despite the care of my household - which will have to be his excuse for his negligence to your sister."

Elizabeth, of course, hardly took any of the latter explanation in. Her mind was too busy considering the connotations. From what he had said she could only assume that he had fallen ill nigh on three weeks previously - and yet his unsteadiness on his feet and his distant mien both would suggest an illness now. And for him to have remained in town for that period of time...

"The doctor would not allow you to travel for three weeks?" She couldn't help the shock in her voice - if it were true then that had been no small illness...

Darcy nodded, looking slightly away, almost as though he were ashamed to admit it to her face. "They tell me that I was feverish for most of a week - once they knew I was clear of that the doctor decreed I must remain bedbound for three weeks. Charles would not have let me come here had he not know that I would have made the trip with or without his agreement - I am more than well enough now, whatever the doctor might have said. And now I can only be glad..."

Elizabeth's attempt to hide her surprise must have failed, because he gave her one of his piercing looks. She hardly knew how she looked - her head was still reeling from trying to take it in. No doubt later she would realise the enormity of what he said and the true meaning of the fact that he had been so ill - in so much danger...

Darcy very gently and very hesitantly took her hand, looking the entire time as though he was expecting her to pull it away. Instead, Lizzy smiled slightly, and he took that as reason enough to continue.

"Could you... Did you truly believe that I would not come back? That I didn't intend to return? ..." Lizzy's inability to reply must have been answer enough. "But surely..." It was a strange thing for Darcy to find it so hard to find the words he wanted. "Didn't you... Don't you know that I...?"

He had looked away from her once more, his hand dangerously close from taking its way through his hair.

A moment passed - nothing more - before he looked back at her, letting out his breath and losing most of his agitation.

"I want you to be my wife..." He spoke the words so calmly and matter-of-factly that it hardly even occurred to Lizzy that this could be a proposal. "I've known that much for a long time now - but I didn't want to scare you away - I know that you - that we didn't have the best of starts... But that has been what I've wanted... I could - can - only ask for your courtship - because I don't even know if you would accept that but..."

"Of course I accept..." Lizzy could hardly believe that he would worry on that score it had been so long since she had thought either way on that subject. She knew what she felt for him. "I..."

"Lizzy!" Jane's uncharacteristically shrill voice carried across the gardens with ease.