Danny, Sam and Tucker watched in vague amusement as their overweight English teacher grew wings and chased Pariah Dark into a chicken coop that had magically appeared in the middle of Caspar High. They were far more concerned with maintaining a decent conga line.
"What's so interesting about Lancer anyways?" Tucker wondered.
"No idea," shrugged Sam. Smiling, she turned to her boyfriend. "Danny, it's time to get up."
"Wha?"
"Danny! Get up already!"
Yelping in shock, the halfa jerked awake. He blinked stupidly at Sam's angry face. "I just had the weirdest dream."
"If you're talking about how Paullina blew up your mom's portable portal and got us stuck in the Ghost Zone, that wasn't a dream."
More blinking. "Actually, it was a different dream." Then her words penetrated his still-sleepy skull. "Wait, Ghost Zone!"
"It's not my fault!" Paullina whined, ignoring the obvious fact that yes, it was. "Your stupid parents shouldn't have left it lying around in the open."
Danny glared. He wasn't that close to the Fentons anymore- years of being hunted will do that to you- but some residual filial loyalty made him speak up. "It was in their lab, exactly where it was supposed to be. If you guys hadn't broken into my house for some stupid imaginary treasure, we wouldn't be in this mess!"
"It's not imaginary," she sneered. "You just don't want me to take it."
"There is no treasure!"
"Shut up!" barked Valerie. Danny, Sam, and Paullina stared. The popular girl looked ready to start ranting, but the huntress beat her to it. "Danny's hurt, Paullina. Can you not see the cut on his face? Besides, we have bigger problems than finding some treasure. The map is gone."
The halfa groaned softly; this just got better and better. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!" the girl exploded. "Dash and I have searched everywhere- my backpack, his pockets, the dirt. It's just not here!"
Star collapsed, limp as a wet noodle. "You mean… we're stuck here?"
Valerie nodded. Danny opened his mouth to speak, but Star and Paullina cut him off by bursting into tears.
"We'll never get out!"
"I want to go home!"
"The ghosts are gonna get us and we're gonna die and no one will find our bodies-"
"I can get us home," Danny snapped.
The two teens calmed down instantly, though they seemed a bit skeptical. Sam took over her boyfriend's speech. "Danny's parents are ghost hunters, remember? They know all about the Ghost Zone." That, of course, was a lie. The elder Fentons had never set foot in the Underworld, reasoning that as terrifying and threatening ghost hunters, they would be slaughtered on sight. In reality, they would probably just be ignored. Only a few losers like the Box Ghost and Vlad's vultures were afraid of Jack and Maddie Fenton.
The Goth girl continued, "That's why they made the map. They worried that someone would kidnap Danny and he'd have to get out of the Ghost Zone by himself, so they made him take the map to school so he could memorize it. He can get us home."
"That true, Fen…ton?" asked Dash.
Danny nodded. "See that door?" he asked. "The one with a music note and a guitar? That one belongs to Ember McLain, and she's about half an hour's walk from the Fenton Portal."
"Ember McLain was a ghost?" asked Paullina.
Her new guide nodded. "I'll tell you about it on the way back," he promised, walking off in the portal's direction. "Just to take your mind off things."
For the next forty minutes- Danny hadn't taken the popular girls' slowness into account- the young halfa told them everything he knew about Ember's abilities: how she used music to control minds, how her guitar could be used to enhance other ghosts' powers, how shouting her name gave her strength, how the badly named Fenton Phones could protect you from her control. He didn't mention any specific battles, as that would give too much away, but only things Jack and Maddie might know (at least, things they might know in some alternate universe where they were actually competent).
Oddly enough, the little group didn't encounter any ghosts. No one knew why. Danny thought they might be off partying- he vaguely remembered getting an invitation on his Z-mail account. Valerie loudly speculated that they were conspiring to take over the world. Eventually Sam told her to shut up before Star had a breakdown, and they continued in tense silence.
When the portal was in sight, four of the full-humans took off running. Sam and Danny glanced at each other fondly. They liked the Ghost Zone with its swirling green skies, floating rocky islands, randomly spaced doors, and eccentric inhabitants. Then they, too, jogged after the others.
Dash, being an athlete, was the first to reach the portal. He stared at it in horror before letting out a wail of despair. "No, no, no!"
"It's closed!" shrieked Valerie. Star began to cry again.
The halfa frowned. "Hey, Dash, could you lift me up so I can reach it?"
"Whatever," the jock mumbled listlessly. He hoisted the smaller male and helped him balance on his shoulders. "Whoa, Fenton, you're really light."
Of course I'm light, Danny thought grouchily. I'm a halfa. My bones are hollow. My muscles are constructed of a different material than yours. But you don't need to know that, so I'll just pretend I didn't hear you.
He pounded on the door, fists banging against metal. "If they just open the portal, they can get a rope and we'll be home."
"That's actually really smart," said Dash, amazed.
"Thanks." Danny switched hands.
"GHOST!" screamed Jack's voice. The trapped humans and halfa exchanged relieved grins. They were saved!
"No, it's me!" Danny shouted.
Something crashed. Hopefully it wasn't anything too important. Then Jack shouted, "Maddie! That ghost kid's on the other side of the portal!"
'That ghost kid's' jaw dropped, stretching the half-healed cut he'd gotten as the portable portal exploded. Technically, Jack was right, but that didn't make him feel any better. "No, Dad, it's me! It's Danny! You've gotta let us through!"
"We'll never let you through, ghost kid!" shouted Maddie's voice. "And how dare you impersonate our son. We'll never open the portal again, so you can rot in your filthy dimension for all eternity."
"Say something!" Danny hissed.
"Mrs. Fenton!" yelled Sam. "Let us through!"
"Wow, that ghost kid does a really good woman impersonation."
"I'm not a woman impersonator! I'm Sam Manson, Danny's girlfriend!"
"Nice try, spook!" was Jack's gleeful response. "Hey Maddie, we should celebrate."
"With fudge?"
"…I love you."
After another minute of pounding, Danny finally acknowledged that his parents had left. Groaning, he jumped off Dash's shoulders. "Of all the rotten luck…."
"How could they mistake you for Phantom?" wondered Paullina. "You're not cool enough."
Star sniffled, but she didn't break down. She seemed to have resigned herself to their impending doom.
"Where now?" Valerie asked.
Danny frowned thoughtfully. They could try to find a natural portal, but those were unpredictable and dangerous. Wulf could make portals, but he was in the human realm. That left the Infi-map in the Far Frozen. The halfa smiled; he liked Frostbite's yeti-like people. Even better, they were friendly enough that they'd let five-and-one-half humans borrow the artifact for a few minutes.
Unfortunately, there was a tiny problem in his plan. The Far Frozen was four days away.
"I think," the halfa lied slowly, "that there's another stable natural portal in this one arctic realm. It's a bit of a walk, but it's our only other option."
The full-humans sighed. Valerie summed up all their feelings. "What've we got to lose?"
An hour had passed before anyone started to complain. Valerie knew that she should be grateful that it had taken so long, but that didn't stop her from gritting her teeth when Paullina began whining. She had stupidly worn high heels "so my legs look hot for the ghost boy" and though she'd taken them off when they started walking, her feet hurt. They weren't on a smooth path, after all, but a rocky plain. After a few minutes of listening to her complaints, the huntress snapped. "Maybe if you'd worn practical shoes like I told you your poor little piggies wouldn't be going emo on us!"
"Look," grumbled Danny, "how about we stop for a minute? She can have my shoes."
Valerie smiled as their group sat down. Who would have thought that Danny Fenton would be the one to hold them all together? She watched curiously as the other teen reached into his backpack and pulled out… a first aid kit?
The huntress's confusion only increased as her ex-boyfriend treated Paullina's torn feet with the air of a professional, swabbing them with disinfectant before wrapping them in gauze. What was he, some kind of battlefield medic?
"What time is it?" wondered Dash.
"Seven-o-six," Danny replied absently, stuffing his socks into his shoes so they would fit Paullina's smaller feet.
Valerie looked at her watch in surprise. "He's right," she commented. "Wow, you've got a really good internal clock."
A smile flickered across the boy's face. "Thanks. It's something I picked up from my godfather. If you think my internal clock is good, you should see his." Sam chuckled. Evidently this was some kind of inside joke.
"I can't believe that we haven't been attacked yet," Star commented.
The Goth groaned. "You shouldn't have said that. Now a ghost has no choice but to attack."
Her boyfriend hissed. Valerie stared at him. Why was his breath visible? It wasn't that cold.
"I AM THE BOX GHOST!" shrieked an obnoxiously familiar voice. "BEWARE!"
"Told you so," groused Sam.
Valerie began to panic. Without her suit, she couldn't beat any ghosts, but if she became the Red Huntress, everyone would hate her. After all, the huntress was Danny Phantom's enemy, and everyone here was a Phantom Phan.
Then Danny solved her dilemma by jumping five feet in the air, grabbing the spook by its coveralls, and using his free hand to punch it in the face. Valerie's jaw sagged as the Box Ghost fell towards the rocky isle.
The specter's attacker dropped, rolled, jerked up to grab his enemy's leg. Danny swung his opponent into the rock once, twice, three times before the spook fled. It was like her ex had become someone else, someone deadly and fierce as Phantom himself.
Then he turned around, grinning sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck. Only a few flecks of green blood proved that she hadn't been hallucinating.
"How did you do that?" breathed Dash.
Danny reddened. "My parents are ghost hunters, and that was only the Box Ghost. It's not like he's tough to beat anyways."
As he spoke, Valerie noticed something else. "Your cut!"
"What?"
"That cut you got when the portal exploded. It's gone!"
Her ex's pale hand touched his now-smooth cheek. His eyes went wide. For a second, Valerie thought she saw fear in his face, but that was ridiculous. Why would he be afraid?
"Well, that's weird," the boy mumbled. "Maybe it's because I got some of his goop on me? I mean, I've always been a fast healer, but this is pushing it." He laughed nervously. "So, who wants supper?"
"I do," answered Sam.
Unlike Paullina, Valerie had come prepared. She had enough rations for nine meals for four people. With Danny and Sam taken into account, they had enough food for two days and enough water for three.
After hearing this, Danny frowned. "Actually, I'm not that hungry," he mumbled. "I'll, um, go see what's over that random hill over there."
Valerie couldn't understand why he would want to do more walking, but she let him go. Maybe he'd find one of those natural portals he'd been talking about.
The teen didn't find a portal, but he did stumble across some bizarre fruit trees. The food he brought back looked like purple banana-pears. Normally everyone would have snubbed it, but they knew they needed all the food they could get. Surprisingly, the banana-pears were delicious.
The rest of the evening passed without incident. They stopped around ten, and Danny took out his first aid kit to heal everyone's feet. His own feet were blemish-free, which he chalked up to the Box Ghost's goo.
Valerie was the last to be treated, but she collapsed into sleep before Danny could get started. Smiling fondly, the half-ghost phased off her shoes and went to work. They would have a long day tomorrow.
Z-mail is ghostly email. It stands for Zone mail. If Gmail wasn't taken already, I would have used that. And yes, the ghosts really are at a party. They just somehow forgot to invite Boxy. No idea how that happened. : )
-Corona
