A/N~ Well hello again! I am NOT dead, just neglecting chapter 8!
Here is chapter 2 of What The F is 'Fluff'? for ya!

And because little Sasuke is SOOO MUUUCH FUUUN to write, this chapter is dedicated to him and his little friends, along with the AWESOME fandom writers out there. Okay, enjoy~!


What The F is 'Fluff'?

Chapter 2. Eavesdropper!

"Nii-san, what are you doing? Where are you going? Is it fun? Can I come?" Sasuke had a tendency to ask four questions or more in one little breath, something that Itachi dreaded.

The prodigy continued walking down the small stone path that led to Shisui's house, his little brother bouncing along next to him.

"Niiiiiiii-saaaaaaaan~!"

Itachi sighed. He made it very clear toSasuke that the coffee on the table was not for little kids…

The older Uchiha stopped in the middle of the path and looked at Sasuke. The hyperactive ball of trouble looked up with big eyes at his beloved older brother, whom he will kill someday in the future. Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, go back home. Shisui and I have something very important to do." The big brother poked Sasuke on the forehead and shooed him away.

The little brother scowled. He crossed his arms and pouted, right in the middle of the busy path. Itachi's eye twitched. This was too much to handle. He simply turned around, and kept walking towards Shisui's house.

Sasuke looked surprised. But he wouldn't be ignored. He ran after his older brother, and fell into step with Itachi's heels, following him all the way to Shisui's house.

O.o

The body flicker was busy relaxing when someone knocked on the door. Three quick-paced taps. Itachi.

Shisui yawned and stretched before getting out of his cozy position on the couch in front of the television. "Sure, disturb a ninja during nap time. That's a wonderful idea… Well hello, Itachi!" The older Uchiha greeted the younger one in an excited tone, sarcastically all-smiles.

"Shisui, Kakashi-san's ANBU team found some revealing information on these authors. We are requested at the Hokage's office." Itachi said, completely calm and stoic, standing in the doorway.

Sasuke peaked out from behind his older brother's legs, listening to the conversation between the two, undetected.

"What, no "Hello, Bestest Friend in the Whole World"?" Shisui offered, taking a few steps out of the house. The body flicker closed the door behind him, starting to stroll in the direction of the Third's mansion.

Itachi rolled his eyes and followed his friend. "That was implied. Anyway, we need to make an appearance soon before Tenzō-san has time to spread some of the stories on that site around."

Sasuke still trailed behind his older brother. Stories…?

Shisui snorted. "Well, I think he would've already. It's been two long weeks since we've reported this. That's plenty of time to spill some rumors."

"He knows what is in his best interest, then."

"Uchiha Itachi! Was that a threat? I'm sooo proud of youuu!" The oldest Uchiha wrapped his arm around Itachi's neck, messing his hair with his other hand. The prodigy pulled away, a trace of a blush on his face.

The two continued walking, Sasuke behind them. Stories? Rumors? Authors?

o.O

Inside the Hokage's office, Kakashi, Tenzō, and three others were murmuring to themselves, each one uniformed as ANBU. The copycat ninja and the wood-style user were the only ones recognizable with their animal masks set aside.

Words like stories, lemons, fluff, love, and gay were tossed around the room, a low laugh every now and then from one of the men. Sandaime Hokage was the only one not engaging in their heated debate over some young Uchihas. Instead, he squeezed his eyelids shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Everything paused in anticipation as the door to the tiny office swung open, revealing a bored-looking Shisui and a apathetic-as-ever Itachi.

Tenzō had an immature-looking grin on his face as the body flicker leisured up to the Third's desk, hands behind his head. The younger Uchiha followed him, flashing a Sharingan Death Glare at the childish ANBU.

"You called, Hokage-sama?" the older Uchiha asked, catching attention of said official.

Sarutobi looked up from his desk, un-amused. He spoke in a monotone. "Yes, Shisui-san. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Itachi-san about the details I have for you two."

Shisui looked dramatically hurt. He took a few steps back, allowing the younger Uchiha to take his spot in front of the desk.

"Itachi-san, Kakashi-san's ANBU team has done an excellent job in tracking down these authors. They have been looking through the posts on the site, and concluded that most of the writers are going to travel to a place called "Somerset, New Jersey" in "America" for some reason. Kakashi-san will explain how to get there on the walk to Training Ground 44."

"Training Ground 44?"

"You may know it as the Forest of Death. There is an abundance of natural chakra in that area to enhance Shisui-san's teleportation technique."

"So I am important!" The body flicker announced, proudly smiling. The Third sighed.

"Itachi-san, please try to finish this as quickly as possible. I understand that it is important, but the Leaf cannot afford to waste time on personal vendettas. Come back as soon as the time permits."

Sasuke tried to remember everything he heard from his hiding place in the hallway, then bolted to the training ground as fast as his little lungs would allow him.

O.o

"Hey, Sasuke-kun! Where are you going?" The little Uchiha was interrupted on his way to the Forest of Death by a shrill, girly voice coming from behind him.

He stopped running and turned on his heels to face the pink haired little girl with a red bow tied up on her head. Her green eyes were bright and her greeting smile was brighter. She blushed when Sasuke met her gaze.

The little boy behind her waved at his friend. His giant blue eyes sparkled and the wind messed his already-messy spiky blonde hair. He had whisker-like lines on his cheeks that stretched when he smiled.

"Sakura, I have a very important mission that needs to be done right now. I need to go." Sasuke sounded urgent, looking around the corner for any sign of his big brother.

The blonde boy looked excited. "Do you need help? You know that I'm awesome when it comes to kicking ninja but!" He ran up to the little brother, bouncing up and down.

Sasuke's face twisted. "No, Naruto! This is an Uchiha mission. I heard Itachi-nii say it himself. I'm going to help him with his personal ventrenda." He declared, crossing his arms proudly, not aware of the horrible grammatical error he made.

"What's a 'ventrenda'?" The girl asked.

"It has something to do with stories and rumors and authors. I even heard somebody say that Itachi-nii and Shisui-nii were 'gay' or something." Sasuke answered with a puzzled look on his little face.

"Oh. What's 'gay'?" Naruto copied the little Uchiha's expression.

"I don't know! Now I need to go right now!" Sasuke darted off, shoving Naruto away from him.

The two young academy students exchanged looks and stared on after their strange friend.

o.O

Kakashi looked visibly uncomfortable walking next to Itachi to the Forest of Death. Following the two, Tenzō grinned. One would wonder why.

Shisui, oblivious, was pulling up the back, swinging his head and tossing his curls every which way to track the exotic birds swooping overhead on the outskirts of Training Ground 44.

"So, uh, Itachi-san, it's just a simple teleportation technique for Shisui-san. Just make sure he knows exactly where he's going and concentrates on that one place, or you guys'll be screwed." -Tenzō giggled- "You will end up in a completely different place than Somerset." The copycat ninja explained. Itachi nodded, opening the rusty, red-orange gate to the eerie forest. All four shinobi entered the enclosure. Sasuke ducked in after them without somehow being detected.

Darkness immediately ensued, the canopy of a million giant trees blocking all sunlight from reaching the ground. Only a few slivers of golden light shone on the leafy ground where the foliage parted on the ancient trees above. Little creatures and insects scurried along the ninjas' feet. Larger, silhouetted shapes appeared and disappeared in the dark green bushes. Tropical birds darted about in the partially humid air, one coming close to taking Shisui's head off. Calls of exotic animals of all pitches were heard, some recognizable, and some foreign.

The group walked on in silence towards the middle tower in the distance. Tenzō and Shisui did their best to avoid tripping on vines and tiny animals (but stumbled every once in a while), while Kakashi and Itachi glided through the paths with ease.

As they neared the middle tower, the copycat ninja stopped and said, "Here's a good spot. Lots of natural chakra here…"

Tenzō stopped next to Kakashi, and Shisui, not one to pay attention, bumped into Itachi when he stopped short.

"Okay, what do I do?" The older Uchiha questioned after he recovered from the collision.

"A teleportation technique is all. Just think Somerset."

The body flicker nodded and formed a tiger seal with his hands, focusing in on the abundance of natural chakra. He closed his onyx eyes and connected his chakra network with everything around it, letting the flows mix. A light blue aura formed around him.

Itachi squeezed his best friend's shoulder, bracing himself for takeoff. The weasel never liked teleporting.

The aura engulfed the both of them, and grew more intense as Shisui focused…

Somerset, New Jersey… America

Just as the two fazed out, Sasuke crept out of his hiding spot behind a tree and gently grabbed the hem of the back of Shisui's shirt.

O.o

When the body flicker opened his eyes, he was falling.

Falling! Oh cr-!

Shisui only had time to squeak before his back met a bush. A thorn bush. The branches dug into his skin, scratching his face and arms as he hit the ground. He groaned in agony.

The older Uchiha came-to after a moment, and looked around for Itachi. Nowhere in sight.

Shisui lifted his head to the dark sky, the stars' glow worsening his headache. He squeezed his eyes shut from the pain.

Unfortunately, he closed his eyes a little too early.

A loud thud came from a few feet away, followed by a muffled whine of pain.

Shisui snapped his head in the direction of the noise, and doubled over laughing.

Itachi had landed face-first in the middle of the street.

"Epic fail!"

The 'prodigy' lifted himself off the ground. His face was scratched up, and little beads of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and his nose. "You didn't fair much better. A thorn bush?"

The body flicker stood and slapped the dust from his clothes, now just giggling at his (read: horribly bruised) friend. "At least it broke my fall. You just got your head introduced to the pavement."

Itachi wiped the spots of blood from his face and attempted to stand. He wobbled, but that was expected from someone who nearly suffered a concussion.

"What time do you think it is?" Shisui wondered aloud, strolling up to his friend. His eyes were on the crescent moon that was threatening to slip over the west horizon any second now. To the east, the sun painted the very lining of the land with a faint orange-yellow. Street lights were flickering, pondering the choice of switching off and consulting their inner clocks to check if their shift was over.

"Early. Maybe two or three o' clock." Itachi surveyed the area around them. They were at the end of a road cutting into the side of another one. The street signs at the three-way intersection read "DEAD Rd." and "CURRENT Ave." Neither of the Uchihas understood the author's frivolous attempt at humor.

Dead road, the street that Current avenue cut into, was simply a seemingly steep hill that had seemingly normal houses lining it, bi-levels and single-levels.

Current avenue was another story. The houses were painted dark shades of blue and, every once in a while, an off shade of white. Every bi-level was old and creaky, as if each home held a different story from the past families. Ever-so-often there was a street lamp illuminating the circumference of its own little circle, throwing shadows of mini trees to the ground. Weeds covered the lawns, and trees grew as they pleased. The sidewalks were cracked from the overpopulation of roots. Little lawn decorations dotted the houses with splashes of faded colors, along with some flowers and bushes tended to by the home owners. Cars, some gray minivans and others red convertibles, rested up and down the street next to recycling bins and trash cans. Children's toys and bikes were haphazardly tossed aside next to garages or just plain in the road, waiting patiently to be played with. A lone tire swing hanging from a sturdy old tree sat still for its next rider.

Itachi couldn't explain it, but there was a certain vibe to the neighborhood that sent racking chills down his spine.

Shisui was not listening to his Uchiha instincts. "Well, better confirm where we are!" He skipped ahead of the weasel, into the middle of Current ave. The body flicker squinted into the darkness to scan for a worthy-looking house to intrude.

"Shisui, I don't think we should-"

"Eenie, Meanie, Miney… THAT ONE!" Shisui indicated a dark blue bi-level overgrown with grass and two willow trees.

When his best friend ran towards the white door, cutting through the lawn and nearly tripping over the small ornamental deer eating grass, Itachi had a mini panic attack. His right eye twitched. "Shisuiiii…"

The older Uchiha snapped his fist up to tap on the door and shot a glare at Itachi. His forefinger beckoned the younger Uchiha to come closer. The prodigy shook his head. Shisui tapped his knuckles on the door, barely making a sound. Itachi still didn't move. "No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"YES!"

"NO!"

"…" The body flicker's face showed his annoyance with his cousin. He shrugged and turned back to the off-white door, rapping with his knuckles loud enough to hear.

Itachi froze.

Shisui stuck out his tongue.

Moments later, a strawberry-blonde girl with green eyes opened the door. She appeared to be around the older Uchiha's age, maybe a year younger. Her hair was messy and the pale pinkish tank top and black shorts she had on were wrinkled. A steaming cup of ramen she held teased Shisui's taste buds.

When she saw who was at her door, her eyes sparkled and a smile gradually grew with a blush to match.

"Yes? Can I help you… two?"

She started to grin when she saw Itachi standing in the street. So where's Sasuke?

Oh, uh, he was tending to the cut on his arm he sustained from crash-landing on a rock in his hiding place behind the girl's house, trying hard not to let the pain get the best of him so he wouldn't cry.

"Hi, uh, my friend and I are kinda… lost… and need to know where we are." Shisui stated, pointing over his shoulder in the prodigy's direction.

"Ah, I see." -she giggled- "Okay, stay right there. I have a friend who lives just up the street whose awesome when it comes to directions." The girl turned on her heels, trudged up the steps, and disappeared down the hallway. "Me, I'm just defective in that department…" she murmured from the house.

Shisui flicked an I-was-so-totally-right-and-you-were-so-epically-wrong look over his shoulder at Itachi, who just chose to ignore him and stroll up to the house.

"…much better at extreme croquet as well. Okay, let's go!" The girl finished her seemingly long train of thoughts after she returned a few seconds later, wearing a black hoodie and a pair of bright yellow flip-flops. Walking out of the house into the street, she tugged at both Uchihas' hair playfully.

She seemed way too awake. That weird feeling came back to haunt Itachi.

The girl skipped down the street as if it was a field of flowers with the weasel and his friend following, not as enthusiastic. "Oh, by the way, my name's Summer! And you are?" She snickered as if she knew the answer.

"Shisui! And that boring guy over there's Itachi…" The body flicker received an Uchiha Death Glare from said younger Uchiha. He just smiled.

"Ah, cool." -Summer giggled- "This one's my friend's house; c'mon!" The hyperactive strawberry-blonde jabbed a finger at an off-white bi-level with a sad excuse for a lawn. She cut through the front yard up to the dark maroon door and rapped what sounded like morse code for "GET THE HELL UP!"

The silence remained unbroken.

Summer scowled and mumbled something incoherent. She stomped towards the silver minivan parked in the driveway, scooping up a rock as she went. With her mad ninja skills, Summer climbed on the hood of the car and threw the pebble at a second story window.

No answer.

"Aug, that bitch… trying to keep a promise here…"

Summer mumbled several other statements having to do with a promise and a community and a crush while cautiously stepping her way to the roof of the van. She did her best to keep gravity in its place as she knocked on that same window, unnecessarily loud.

"In a second I'm just gonna waltz right in…"

A dim glow of yellow light flicked on in the window, and Summer jumped down from the roof of the car. She made her way to the maroon door again, arms crossed in mock anger.

A second later, the door creaked open to reveal another girl with brownish-blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Shisui noticed that this one was around Itachi's age, maybe even spot-on. She leaned against the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Purple nail polish to match her shorts was chipped off some of her fingers, and the white t-shirt she wore was a bit too roomy. All around, the poor girl was half-asleep.

"Summer, what? Don't you know it's three in the morning and I was aslee-"

"Dude, Mads, listen. Do not have a fangirl moment. The two people you practically worship are right behind me." Summer cut off her friend, leaning in close and whispering so the two Uchihas wouldn't hear. "And screw sleep, I am keeping a promise that if I ever came across that boring one, to bring him right to your doorstep…"

The other girl zoned Summer out as soon as she caught a glimpse of the two confused shinobi standing calmly (at least one of them was calm) behind her friend. A deep blush came across her face and she started to smile.

"Wait, so, not cosplayers?" The dark blonde whispered back, trying really really hard to contain herself at the sight of Itachi.

"Nope, the hair's real."

"!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!"

"Maddie!"

"Hey guys~! Come riiiight in!" Maddie abandoned all trace of an inside voice, and made a huge sweeping gesture into her house, epically failing at 'not having a fangirl moment'.

Shisui accepted the invitation without a doubt, stepping through the door and up the stairs to the living room.

Itachi was hesitant. That vibe was back…


A/N~ NOOOO! DON'T GO IN!

...Oh, sorry, watching a horror movie.
My gosh this is SOOO MUUUCH FUUUN to write~! I applaud the Bitter Nakano community for giving me so much stuff to work with. I love you guys.
Chapter 3 is coming soon!
OH CRAP THE KILLER! RUUUUUUUN!

...Watch "My Soul To Take." It's about death that coincidentally occurs near water. X3