Oh look who it is.

Yes I haven't died, would you believe.

So a whole thousand years (4 months) later and guess what has appeared YES A NEW CHAPTER!

OMFREAKINGGOSH.

I seriously have no excuse for why it has taken me so long to get this updated, let's just say life got in the way.

Seriously I've started 6th Form College and a new job and As Levels are a bitch (If you're American it's the qualification's we have to get before we go to University, 2 years of hell basically)

And then I had a lot of family issues and to cut a long story short, I have been really busy.

Before I let you read (Nearly finished with my rambling's promise) I want to say a HUGE HUGE THANKYOU to GleeisLife101, without them, this story would probably have taken another 4 months for it to be updated.

So yes, enjoy this Chapter and see you at the end x)


Chapter 2: War and Peace...

Kurt POV:

I could hear the sound of distant banging. It was so familiar yet, as the sound grew louder, it was so unwanted. The noise soon became unbearable, my head thumping in time with it. It stopped. My eyes flew open and fell onto my alarm clock, the red digits blinking rapidly. That explains the banging, I thought to myself. It took me a few moments to register the time, register my surroundings and the massive headache that was now threatening to make my head explode.

8 am; at home in bed, I need pain killers now.

I rolled over, turning away from the clock and reaching out for him next to me. The other side of the bed was empty, the covers and the pillows in perfect condition, untouched. I blinked a few times, before realising he wasn't there.

"Avan…" My voice croaked. I coughed and sat up, too quickly. "Ow, Avan, Oh My God Avan, Where are you? I need you." No reply. I sighed and stood up from the bed. I was now fully aware that I was in my shirt and dress trousers from the night before. My shirt was creased in ways that made me want to cry and I had tear stains on my trouser legs. I looked up to the ceiling and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Bigger picture Kurt," I sighed to myself. I stumbled into the bathroom and grab some headache tablets and a glass of water. Taking them quickly, I washed my face and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and bloodshot, my cheeks were reed and tear tracks still visible. My hair was sticking out in all directions; I was a complete mess.

"Avan, are you here?" I called out again. No reply. I could feel myself becoming more and more anxious. Walking back into the bedroom, I grabbed my phone and quickly dialled Avan's number. It rang for a few seconds, before I heard the distant ring coming from the kitchen. My eyes shot open and I ran into the kitchen. His phone was lying on the counter next to his keys, a note, half a bottle of vodka, a small shoe box, and two rings.

"No," I breathed. I tried to think back to last night, but it was all a blur and huge mess of emotional nothing. I grabbed the note from the side and read it quickly.

Kurt,

I am staying at my sister's for a few days. I think we both need to take some time to clear our heads. I love you, so much. You have no idea how much this hurts me Kurt, but in spite of this I still love you, always have and always will.

See you in a few days. Avan

I read and reread the note over and over again hoping that the message would change. The tears, once again, fell from my eyes. I had done this; I had pushed him away from me. I hadn't been the honest one, but he still wanted me, he still loved me.

I felt my fist clench, scrunching the paper into a ball. But what had caused me to be like this. To be this closed book, not letting anyone in, not letting anyone have my heart completely. I wiped away my tears and felt myself fall to the ground. My emotions had always been my weakest point. I would keep everything in and not tell anyone about anything. That was until that November, on those stairs. When I found the first person I could finally open up to. But then in one foul sweep he destroyed the trust I had formed and once again I found it difficult to share my emotions. Avan had been getting there. We were becoming serious and we were in love, but I always had my doubts. Once again he was there to pull me out of my dream world and into reality. Here I was again, nowhere to turn, no one who would understand and it was his fault.

A strangled sob came from between my lips, but no tears fell. I was tired, tired of the pain of my fragile heart breaking all over again. I sat on the ground for what felt like hours. My headache was slowly returning and I my phone had rang at least five times before I had switched it off. I closed my eyes and switched it back on bringing up the one name I always could rely on.

"Hello, Kurt?" I heard her say in a worried voice. I closed my eyes hoping I wouldn't sound so broken.

"Cedes…I need you." My voice broke and the tears ran down my cheeks once more. She was quiet for a moment.

"I'll be there in five minutes," She hung up and I breathed in. Mercedes will know what to do, she always does.

Blaine POV

"Blaine, get the fuck out of bed now," My covers were pulled off and I suddenly felt exposed. "DUDE, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF UNDERWEAR?" My covers were thrown back over me and the door slammed loudly.

"Fuck," I groaned rolling over to check the time. 9am, I sighed and sat up. My head was banging the memory of last night came to mind.

Being on stage; singing to him; seeing him for the first time in so many years. His beautiful features shined brightly behind my eyelids, I breathed in imagining his scent. A knock at the door brought me back to reality.

"Come in," I sighed pulling on some jeans. Alex stood in the door way leaning against its frame. We looked at each other for a few moments before I looked away, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"I'm sorry Alex," I whispered trying not to look at him. I could see him rub his face and shake his head. He walked over to me in one side and pulled me into his arms. I let myself break down in his arms, the emotion of five years spilling out of me. We stayed like that for a few moments before he pulled out of our embrace.

"Blaine, it's my fault. I should never have forced you there. I was surprised you made it through the first song to be honest." He said looking down at me.

"I shouldn't have run off like that though." I let my head fall, guilt washed over me.

"Blaine, please stop worrying about it. We were fine in the end. Once the shock had gone, Mason took lead. Everything was fine." I shook my head; it wasn't fine. I told them I was going to be there and I had let them down. I had once again run away from my demons.

"You don't understand," I spat. Hurt flashed across Alex's face. I took a deep breathe trying to control my temper.

"Help me understand Blaine," He pleaded. I shook my head and looked away. "If you're not going to speak to me, then please find someone to speak to Blaine. You keep everything in and try to face everything yourself, sometimes you need someone to help you." He explained. I knew he was right, he always was but I felt so alone, felt like nobody could understand me. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he sighed and stood from the bed. "I know you don't feel like it but I think you owe all of us an explanation." My eyes widened in shock as I began to protest. "No buts, everyone is waiting in the other room, come in when you're ready." With this he left the room shutting the door quietly behind him.

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration anger and despair running through my blood. I was just so tired, tired of myself, tired of heartbreak, tired of stupid fucking mistakes. I fell back into the mattress and breathed deeply clearing my head. This situation had gone too far and I couldn't see how I was going to pull it back. I knew what I wanted, what I needed, but right then he was so far away from me and everything seemed impossible.

Kurt POV

"Quiet baby, everything's going to be fine you'll see," I clung onto her arm as she slowly rubbed my back and calmed me with her words. Mercedes had arrived not long after I had phoned her. I was lying on my bed quietly sobbing into my hands when she found me. She wrapped her arms around me and I told her everything. It felt like such a relief to tell somebody. I felt guilty at the fact that we hardly spent time together any more but I was pleased to see that she was still here for me in my darkest hours. I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop crying. I sat up and gave her a teary smile.

"How do you make me feel better so quickly?" I asked her taking her hand. She shrugged and pressed her hand to my check.

"I'm a mum now Kurt, It is second nature to me." I looked away, it was hard to believe how fast everyone around me had grown up and become adults when I still felt like I was learning new things and making hundreds of mistakes. "It also helps that I'm your bestie and I know you better than you know yourself boo." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"I still can't believe that was him, I thought I recognised him but I thought it was because I was familiar with the band. He left after the first song anyway, I don't think anyone really had time to register that it was actually him. Good job to, imagine if your dad had realised," She laughed, "He would've gotten what he deserved anyway." I flinched away from her harsh comment. She sighed and squeezed me tighter, "I'm sorry Kurt, but I was there after he did that to you. I was the one who had to pick up all the pieces. I was the one who had to see my best friend who I love so much, broken and vulnerable, I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him Kurt." I kept quiet and closed my eyes. Obviously it was nothing more than I had expected, she hated him and everyone else hated him after what he did. I hated him, didn't I? I shook the thoughts from my head.

"Here's what we are going to do," I sat up and Mercedes grabbed my hand. "You are going to phone Avan and sought this shit out, tell him to get his ass back here and tell him everything you just told me." I made to interrupt her, "No excuses Kurt. It's time you let him in, Kurt he wants to marry you. He wants to be with you forever. He loves you so much and I know you love him to but you have to show him Kurt. When you have sorted everything else out you both should take a holiday, somewhere nice and expensive where you can be waited on hand and foot. Don't give me any BS about work; I'm sure they can manage a week without you." I sighed she was right, of course she was. "Last thing, I never want you to think about Blaine ever again. He is your past Kurt, Avan is your future, throw those pictures away and the ring. Forget about him; let him go otherwise you are never going to look forward boo." She stared at me both sighing, patting my knee and standing up from the bed. "I have to go and pick the twins up from school. I'm sorry I have to leave."

"Mercedes you have been amazing already, thank you." I smiled weakly, trying to reassure here. She frowned.

"Phone Avan straight away when I leave," I nodded knowing that I would have to face him some time. "Then get yourself cleaned up, wear the best outfit you have, and I know you have some fabulous things boo, walk down the street and find the nicest looking coffee shop you can and get yourself a-

"Grande Non-fat mocha," We said simultaneously. I wiped my eyes and sighed. "You know what, I might just do that." I stood up and pulled her into my arms. "I love you 'Cedes." I whispered.

"I love you to boo," She kissed my cheek and my apartment. I picked up my phone from the bed, took a deep breath and dialled Avan's sister's number. It rand twice before his tiered voice came into my ear.

"Kurt"

"Avan, we need to talk"

Blaine POV

I felt as if I was walking to my death. I had bailed on them in the middle of the show why would I expect any different. I took a deep breath and opened the door. They talking stopped immediately and looked at me. The silence rang in my ears and I knew they were waiting for me to speak.

"Guys, I am so sorry." They all looked away from me and at each other. Alex came beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Give them a minute," He whispered to me as he walked past and sat on the couch next to Rob.

"Suppose you think we are going to forgive you do you?" Rob spat at me looking away. I sighed; trust him to be like this.

"Rob, leave it out will you. You said you weren't going to be a dick for one moment in your life." Alex said glaring at his brother.

"Yes, well I tried that and got bored. You left us Blaine, alone and on the stage in front of a crowd of people." He said standing up and walking over to me. I took a step back, Rob was a lot taller than me and I did not want to get hit by him.

"I'm not saying you should forgive me straight away, just please consider it." I said quietly. Rob just glared at me.

"Well you're going to be waiting a long time for forgiveness from me." I cringed away from his words. He turned his back on me and walked away.

"Look," I said loudly my temper rising every second. "I didn't even want to do this fucking gig." I spat.

"Yes because in your world it's always about little old fucking Blaine," Rob said turning around to face me.

"I told you all I didn't want to do it; if you had let me bail out of it when I said then you could've arranged a better set for just the four of you." I shouted.

"We are a band Blaine, a five piece one. This concert was a huge deal to us." Mason offered.

"Mason you of all people should know why I didn't want to do that fucking concert. But you still made me do it." I said turning on him.

"It's been 4 years Blaine; it's time you moved on." Mason yelled. "It was your own fault. You fucked things up with him; you have no one to blame but yourself."

"Guys, shouting at each other isn't going to get us anywhere." Alex said trying to stand between Rob, Mason and myself.

"Blaine, you have pushed at us and pushed at us. Closing yourself off and frankly treating all of us like shit. What else did you expect?" Danny said now joining in.

"A little understanding from my best friends would've been nice." I shouted at them all.

"I think you should leave." Mason said quietly.

"IT'S MY FUCKING HOUSE," No one said anything. I glared at them all in turn. That was it; I had finally pushed them away.

"Cool off for a few hours Blaine," Alex said looking at me. "I'll talk to them." I walked out and into my room. I ripped off my jeans, put my sweat pants, hoodie and trainers on, grabbed my money, my iPod and keys and left the apartment.

Kurt POV

"Kurt?"

"Avan we need to talk," I said. He was quiet on the other side.

"No Kurt you need to talk to me," He said. I closed my eyes.

"I'm ready to tell you everything, but not over the phone. Please come home, I miss you." I pleaded with him. He was quiet again.

"I'll be home at 9. We are going to talk everything out; I don't care how long it takes."

"Okay,"

"I'll see you later."

"I love you Avan," I said quietly.

"You know I love you Kurt," He hung up, the dial tone played loudly down the other end. I turned off my phone and tried to control myself. Tears were threatening to run from my eyes. I shook them away and stood up from my bed and walked into the bathroom. I was going to get dressed and go to the coffee shop a few blocks down. I was then going to go to Finn and Rachel's so I wouldn't be alone and then come home and have it out with Avan. It felt good to have control again.

Blaine POV

Running always helped me think. Putting my music on, shutting myself off from everything. When I ran I felt free. Any worries or stress would disappear every time my trainers hit the concrete. I enjoyed running the most when I was on vacation. I would get up early walk down to the beach and run as far as I could before the sun came up. The beautiful sun rise would blind me as I rested on the sand before I continued to run.

It was how I found myself now, running. I was so angry it was painful to even think about what had just happened. I needed to clear my mind and calm down before I went back, but even now as I ran through the busy streets and parks of the city, I couldn't just forget. I kept going trying to concentrate on exactly how fast and how long I was running, but it was no good. I could still here their words ringing in my ears.

"It was your own fault. You fucked things up with him; you have no one to blame but yourself,"

I wanted to scream. I knew Mason was right, but it was so hard to move on. I thought they would understand, but none of them besides Alex had even tried. They forced be to do the gig, even though they knew my situation. I could feel a stich threatening in my thigh, so I stopped running and moved to the side of the walk way. I stretched my leg but the pain didn't subside. I sighed and looked around. I hardly recognised where I was, nothing was familiar and I had been living in the city for 7 years now. I took a deep breath and tried to remember what way I had ran, but it was just a blur. I hadn't been focused on where I was going, just on the fact that I had to get as far away as I could.

I looked across the street and saw a small coffee shop on the corner. Crossing the street, carefully dodging any cars, I pushed the door open, a bell rang out and the smell of coffee hit me and I felt myself relax. It was fairly busy but everyone was speaking in whispered voices, it was nice. I ordered and sat down with my back to the door.

I knew I would have to phone Alex to reassure him I was okay, but it could wait. I was quite content with just drinking my coffee and watching the people around me. I heard the doorbell ring again, a cold chill spread across my neck from the cold outside. I shivered, closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

"Grande non-fat mocha please," A voice said from behind me. My eyes shot open.

"Anything else?"

"Oh go on then I'll have a double chocolate chip cookie as well," I could almost hear him smile. "Why not?" The barrister laughed. I smiled to myself, his voice was still perfect. It was something I was in tune to. For the first time in years, my heart was beating double time and I could feel my smile actually being genuine and not forced.

"That'll be 5.50 please. Thank you enjoy your day."

"Thank you and you." He was always so polite. I heard the scrape of a chair to the left of me. I could hardly bring myself to look. Would I want to see him again? Last night had been hard enough; do I want to put both of us through that again? It was a split second decision, one I hoped I wouldn't regret. I found myself standing up and walking over to him. He had his back to me, but there was no mistaking it. It was him. His hair was perfect; his shoulders were relaxed but leaner than I remembered. I took a deep breath and almost whispered the name I had resisted from speaking all these years.

"Kurt…"

Avan POV

It had been a long day. When I pulled up to mine and Kurt's apartment I was ready to just fall asleep, but I knew that we both had a lot to say. I drank the last bit of my coffee before switching off the car and grabbing my bag and coat from the back seat. As I climbed the stairs to the apartment I suddenly became worried about what I was going to hear from him. Did I want him to tell me the truth? Was I ready to hear what he had to say? I almost wanted to turn around and never look back, part of me wish I had never been involved with him.

I cringed at my own thoughts. I loved him with every part of my being, he was my world. I wouldn't swap any of the time I had spent with him for anything. I was suddenly overwhelmed with how much I just wanted to hold him. The talking could wait till later, I just wanted Kurt.

I reached the door, pulled out my key and slowly opened the door. It was dark in the apartment; Kurt had said he would be awake, so I thought he might've been out, possibly at Finn's. I dropped my bad on the floor, put my keys on the side and shut the door. I walked into the living room and switched on the lamp. I gasped and stepped away from the settee.

He was lying on the couch asleep wearing Kurt's clothes. It was the man from the pictures, from the band, the man my fiancée was still in love with. I didn't know what to do; I was suddenly so scared of what was going to happen. Why was he here? Who was he? Where was Kurt? I felt a tear run from my face. I switched off the lamp so I didn't wake him, so I didn't have to face the truth. I walked into the bedroom. He was sitting on top of the bed crossed legged in the dark looking straight at me. A light from outside shone on his face. He was crying.

"Avan, nothing has happened. I can explain." He whispered.

"Kurt, what is going on?" I said my voice breaking.

"Please Avan, come and sit down and I can explain everything." He walked over to me and made to pull me into his arms. I flinched away.

"Did you-Did you-Have you?" I asked unable to contain my tears. He didn't answer. Anger pulsed through my veins. "Did you have sex with him yes or no Kurt?"

Kurt POV

I left the apartment about 3 hours after my phone call with Avan. I had a shower and got dressed like Mercedes's had said, and in all honesty I felt a lot better. My thoughts were clearer and I knew exactly what I had to do. I loved Avan, so much, and felt that tonight would be the night I gave him everything. I owed it to him and to myself. Seeing Blaine had made me realise that I was too hung up on what would've been than what is. I was certain that I would never see him again so any unwanted feelings wouldn't come to suffice once more.

I subconsciously walked to my local coffee shop a block away from my apartment. The familiar bell chimed as I stepped through the door. I shuck of my light jacket, folded it over my arm and walked over to the counter.

"Grade non-fat Mocha, Please," I ordered. The barrister started making my drink and whilst I waited to pay. It was fairly busy for a Thursday afternoon. There were a group of students sitting in the corner talking about a book they were working on, having a heated whispered argument. A couple holding hands across the table were whispering sweet nothings to each other and gazing intently into each other's eyes. I sighed realising that I actually missed Avan more than I had thought. Yes it had only been one night, but it reminded me of the times he would be away for weeks on end on tour. I just wanted to be with him and sort this whole mess out. Last night should've been one of the most magical nights of our lives. We were going to get married, start a life together, and be connected forever. But yet I was alone all night, crying my eyes out over something I couldn't ever change. It should never have been like this.

"Anything else?" He asked.

"Oh go on then I'll have a double chocolate chip cookie as well," I would regret it later but oh well nothing a long run couldn't fix, I smiled. "Why not," He laughed at gave me my drink and cookie. I gave him the money and sat in front of the window. The chair scraped loudly across the floor I threw an apologetic glance the couple's way, but they just smiled and went back to each other. It was one of the reason I loved this coffee shop so much. Not only was the coffee amazing, it was always calm and relaxing when you calm in. No one would be loud or over bearish. Time went quicker as you sat watching the world go by. I could sit here for hours drinking coffee and just thinking. It was my place, a place where no one could find me. I closed my eyes and sipped my drink, smiling at the familiar taste. It was then when I heard it. Even in the calm serenity of this shop, I nearly missed it.

"Kurt," It was quieter than a breath. I thought I had imagined it until I turned around. He was standing there; plain and simple. He stared at me, his hazel eyes baring into mine once more. He was here I was here. I was in shock, it was the only I could I could justify what I do next. What did I expect? Things would never go right in my life, the universe didn't even let me have one day off.

Blaine POV

I heard the slap before I felt it. It was so quick; I barely had time to register what had happened. He turned around and it was like time stopped again. He was here I was here; plain and simple. He was so much more beautiful that even my memories didn't do him justice. Seeing him, this close to me again, made me want to reach out and hold him again. I could feel my eyes watering as I soaked in single last detail of him. It was then that I realised he had stood; of course he was still taller than me. I took a step backwards and he looked down at me his eyes widening.

Smack

I gasped and clutched my check, a sharp pain making my whole face scream. Everything stopped in the coffee shop, everyone was looking our way. I blinked and looked at him again. Tears were forming in his eyes and he wiped them away quickly, bowing his head from embarrassment. I stared at him.

"Is everything alright here?" The barrister asked forcefully.

"Everything is fine, no show here folks," I called out not taking my eyes from Kurt. His cheeks had turned red and he sank back down in his chair, determined not to meet my eyes. I was stuck, part of me wanted to leave and never look back, but I knew that was never going to happen. Part of me wanted to scream in his face and be angry at him for hitting me, but I knew I truly deserved everything I got and to be honest had expected it years ago. As I stood there contemplating my decisions, I almost missed his whispered voice.

"Aren't you going to sit down then?" I hesitated before walking around the table and taking a seat in front of him. The coffee shop had gone back to normal and everyone was ignoring us once again. I tried to catch Kurt's eye, but he never looked up from his hands. We sat in silence what seemed like forever; neither of us knowing where to start.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," Kurt said breaking the silence. I almost jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Can't say I didn't deserve it," I reasoned. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, his eyes still not meeting mine. No one spoke. I couldn't take my eyes off him; he was so beautiful. His eyes still glistened all the colours of the ocean, his lips made my heart flutter as I relished in the memory of their taste. His hair, perfect as always, looked soft and made me want to run my fingers through it. He was still Kurt; the man I loved, the man who didn't love me. I needed to distract my mind, it was running on overtime and I knew if I was left alone with my thoughts for any longer I would break down.

"So how have you been?" I asked him. He whipped his head around and stared at me his eyes meeting mine once again. I recoiled from the hard, piercing look he was throwing at me.

"You're really going to do this Blaine?" He spat. He drew his attention away from me once more.

"Am I really going to do what?" I felt stupid asking the question, but it left my lips before I could stop myself.

"Sit there as if we're old pals who have just bumped into each other after not speaking for so many years, because that's not what this is." He looked at me once more.

"Then what is this?" I asked quietly.

"It's one of those unfortunate moments when the world wants to laugh in your face." I winced at his words, he ignored me. "What are you doing here?" I frowned.

"Drinking coffee," He glared at me.

"I mean here, in New York, at my engagement party, speaking to me." He replied throwing his arms around.

"I live here, you're fiancé booked the band I played in and I…" I stuttered, why was I speaking to him? "I thought it would be rude to at least not say hello after I saw you yesterday." He considered this for a moment.

"You knew that I was going to be at that party last night?" He asked me his eye brows creasing and his mouth forming into a line.

"I…I…yes I knew that it was your party."

"And no small part of you thought that it may not be the best idea to turn up and sing that fucking song straight at me," I could see the tears forming in his eyes; I felt so stupid and pathetic.

"I tried to get out of it Kurt, honestly, but the guys said that it would be okay and that I…" I stopped myself; I wasn't going to admit that I still had feelings for him, not yet.

"And that you what Blaine?" He asked waiting for me to continue.

"It doesn't matter now, what's done is done." I shrugged.

"No Blaine it does matter, seeing you again matters." His voice was getting louder and louder. "You broke my heart," He chocked tears now running freely down his cheeks. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him I was so sorry, and then run outside and jump in front of a bus. How could I have done this to him? Hurt him, break him. I felt my own tears on my cheeks, there were no words I could say to him to make it better.

"Kurt," I croaked. "Kurt, please look at me." He lifted his head and his tear filled eyes poured into my own. "Kurt, I am so sorry. I can't begin to explain how sorry I am. These past few years have made me realise how pathetic I was. I don't expect you to forgive me Kurt, I can't forgive myself. But please know that I never ever meant to hurt you like that. It was a drunken stupid mistake, he made sure you knew of it Kurt. You knew that he was trying to drive a wedge between us." Both of us were crying freely. His hand dropped to the table, in one brave act I clasped it in my own and leaned forward pressing my cheek to his palm. "I have hated myself since the second it happened Kurt. I still have no explanation as to why I did it in the first place. I have missed you so much Kurt, your laugh, your beautiful smile, your shocking eyes, yours lips, your touch, your taste, your hands, your voice, your personality, your body, your clothes, your sense of humour, your everything. I've just missed you." His eyes widened and I let go of his hand. "It hurts me every day knowing that I will never get any of that back and I have no one to blame but myself." I sighed and wiped my eyes. "I've said what I've had to say, at least can have some peace knowing that I have told you everything I need to say." I stood up and tried not to make eye contact with him. "See you around Kurt." I walked away resisting the urge to look at him once more.

"Blaine, wait."

Kurt POV

Waiting for Avan to come home was one of the worst experiences of my life. How had I gotten myself into this situation? I went out to get some coffee; I should've gotten my coffee to take away and walked back home, maybe working on some designs for the fall fashion show my brand had coming up in a few weeks. Maybe it would've stopped us meeting, stopped all of these feelings, stopped what I knew was about to come.

I had no idea how it happened. One minute I was slapping him around the face, the next minute he was crying in my arms. He grabbed my hand, just like that; like old times. As soon as our hands touched I felt it, that feeling of longing, desperation, rightness and wrongness at the same time. The feeling you get when you are midway through jumping into a swimming pool or when you go to a concert to see your favourite band and they play your favourite song. The feeling I got when I looked into his hazel eyes for the first time on the spiral staircase all those years ago. It shocked me, so many feelings, emotions and memories returning to me at once. One single touch and I felt as if my world was collapsing yet becoming whole once again. In honest truth it scared me; I wasn't sure what scared me the most: Seeing Blaine again? Or knowing that Blaine could have this effect on me after everything had happened?

This is what made me stop him as he turned to leave. It was a spare of the moment decision; the words left my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Let's go for a walk," I said to him standing up and leaving shop. I knew he follow and as predicted he caught up with walking besides me trying to keep up with my long strides. We walked in silence, I never realised where we were going until we were there.

"This is mine and Avan's apartment, take your shoes off as you go in," I opened to door and lead him inside. He followed quickly

Blaine POV

The light woke me up, then the gasp, then the light being switched off again; in that order. I kept my eyes shut hoping to keep the dream I had been having a reality. It was just me and Kurt; it was more of a memory than a dream, one of my favourite memoires. We were lying on my bed just wrapped up in each other's arms. I could see his beautiful features in the half light, it was the happiest I had every felt in my life. I loved him, he loved me; everything was perfect. I didn't want to be reminded of the truth.

It took me a while to realise where I was and what had happened. Opening my eyes, I realised I was still in Kurt's apartment. I cringed at the memory of what brought me to here. Crying my heart to out the man I was in love with was not how I had planned my Friday afternoon. I blinked a few times and ran my hands through my hair. It took me a few moments to realise I could hear raised voices coming from a room down the corridor that lead off from the kitchen. I stood and quietly walked closer trying to hear what was being said.

"Did you have sex with him Kurt, Yes or no?" An unfamiliar voice yelled.

"Shit," I whispered to myself. It was Avan, he had already seen me. I had screwed up again. I tried to move from where I was standing but legs wouldn't move. There was a painful silence.

"What do you think Avan?" I heard Kurt spat. It was a familiar tone, one that made me cringe still after all these years. Kurt was pissed.

"God dam it Kurt, I have no idea what to think. I feel like I don't know you at all." Avan yelled at Kurt. I fought the urge to storm in and tell Avan where to go, but I felt it probably wasn't the best idea.

"No, me and Blaine did not have sex." Kurt said his voice rising.

"Did you want to have sex with him?" I frowned, what the fuck kind of question was that?

"What the hell kind of question is that meant to be?" Kurt spat. I smiled, we were still so in tune.

"Well did you?" Avan asked his voice lowering. I could hear Kurt walking across the floor towards him.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Of course I didn't want to; I love you; for crying out loud. Why would I want to fuck this up?" Kurt screamed. I gripped onto the work surface; it's exactly what I had done. I had fucked it up between me and Kurt, the situation was too familiar. I just wanted to run, but I was so tiered of running; from Kurt, from my friends, from my issues, from my past. Enough was enough, if I wanted a second chance with Kurt, I had to stay. I needed to stay.

"I don't know why you'd want to fuck this up. Maybe perhaps because you still love him." My heart skipped a beat.

"I still…Can you hear yourself speaking right now? I've just told you I love you. Gosh you're so frustrating." Kurt yelled.

"I'm frustrating, Kurt you never tell me anything. I come in after the party the other night and there's photographs lying on the fall of you and some stranger I never even knew existed. You're passed out on the bed holding two goddamn rings and you say I'm frustrating. I've been trying for the past three years to figure you out Kurt, just when I think we are getting somewhere you pull a freaking stunt like this. What the hell happened to you? Why don't you tell me about your past? Why won't you let me love every single bit of you Kurt?" Avan yelled.

"Because I can't," Kurt whispered. I felt a tear run down my cheek. He sounded so broken, so fragile and I had caused that.

"What do you mean you can't? That's fucking ridiculous." Avan shouted. "You know what forget it, that's it. You're obviously not serious about us," Footsteps walked towards the door.

"Avan please,"

"No Kurt, that's it."

"Avan, I'm so sorry. I just can't. Please don't leave me." The door opened and light spilled into the hall way. I just stood there and watched them. Avan looked up at me as he walked past. His eyes meet mine and I knew that look. It was one I had gotten from every single one of Kurt's friends, every single one of my friends; Accusation, anger, pain. I flinched away from him.

"Avan please, please don't leave me. We can talk, Avan please." Kurt screamed. He stopped dead when he saw me. "YOU!" He walked towards me. "This. Is. All. Your. Fault. I. Hate, You!" I hit me with every word he screamed.

"Kurt, Stop it!" I yelled. He continued to hit single part of me he could. His yelling soon turned into broken sobs. I gripped onto him, forcing his hands to stop. He collapsed into my arms and cried into my shoulder. I bit back the tears as I held his small frame in my arms.

I walked him back into his room and put him into bed. He let me take care of him, not complaining as I threw the covers over him and turned off his light. I picked up his phone and called the person I was looking for.

"Kurt, Are you okay? Mercedes has just told me what happened? Finn and I were wondering why you hadn't come round. Kurt? Can you hear me?"

"Rachel, you need to come to Kurt's apartment now. I'll leave the key on top of the door frame as I leave. Take him back to your home and keep him there for a few days." I said quickly.

"What? Who is this? Is Kurt hurt? Who is this?" She questioned her voice showing her panic.

"Rachel, just get here as soon as you can."

"Blaine?" I hung up and put the phone on the counter top. That was it, I was done.


So that's that...

In all honesty there is parts of this I don't like and parts I love.

I hope you liked it and I will try and update soon (it's the Christmas Holiday's now so It should be updated in a few weeks, fingers crossed)

Thankyou to my two Beta's you guys are awesome x)

Love to you all, thankyou for the favourites and story updates, I seriously don't deserve it.

See you soon.

Love to you all and a Merry Christmas. x)