02/06/2013

Thank you for all the feedback. There is obviously interest but I will be a bit slow for the moment updating. Say once a month. Hopefully I can speed up when the story gets a bit more interesting.

Title: A Mother's Love
Chapter: 2
Author: Jade Tatsu
Beta Reader: Furious Winter


It was morning when she woke but the familiar warmth and weight of Damian in the bed beside her was already gone.

:He's going to die you know,: a now familiar voice whispered sadly with a flash of memory. Old memory, grieving memory but Raisa embraced it. She'd already known. As she'd dreamed she had seen that he wasn't there and her subconscious had sought out that memory and so while her heart felt heavy at the knowledge, the memory of Damian's death, it was old grief. She still loved him, she would always love him, but his death could not incapacitate her.

"I thought you would be gone," she said aloud as she rose and dressed before shoving the pot into position over the coals of the fire to heat water.

:I'll be gone soon,: the voice of her future self said easily. :Soon I'll be nothing more than the voice of suggestion, which is your own voice.:

"But will I keep the memories?" There were good and bad memories there. So much pain for Cloud, but for her there were so many little memories she wanted to keep. Cloud's first word, the day he walked and the memory of his smile when he came home bearing marigolds from the high plain. He'd been so proud of himself to reach there so young. She'd been terrified once she realised where he'd been, on the mountain alone, but she had been touched by the flower. She wanted to remember those memories, to live those memories rather than the pain that was to come.

:We can't. If we live those memories nothing will change,: the voice was her own as it snapped at her and Raisa smiled sadly. She knew that. She'd spent hours in talk last night, far longer than the night as the memories in her head became more than memories of memories, they became her memories. She knew the price, she knew the pain and she had an inkling of an idea of what she could do to change it. There would be blood, there would be fighting. As her future self had observed, humans were a violent race and there might even be more fighting and blood shed, at least initially, and Cloud would most likely be in those battles. He was destined to fight for the Planet but he didn't have to fight in the same way he had the first time. She would see to that.

She'd make sure that Shinra was always challenged because that was the only way she could see to make sure they were restrained. When she looked closely the fear of defeat was strong in the memories. Shinra had done great wrong but they would behave, they should show restraint… so long as they knew someone was watching. Raisa would provide that watcher… somehow.

"I know," Raisa said as she gathered the memories close. She would store them in her heart and know that they had happened, even if they never came again.

:We will keep the memories. But there will be new memories to replace them.:

"I know," Raisa repeated, turning to lift Cloud from his covers before she paused.

On the table there was an unfamiliar box. By itself that wasn't unusual. She hadn't adapted to the almost casual sense of personal space the villagers adopted at times. What was unusual was that the box bore the crest of Shinra. She went over and opened it, frowning down at the small, rectangular, individually wrapped bars that were in it.

:Damian left them,: her future self supplied helpfully. : They are protein bars.:

"What do I need protein bars for?"

:You fainted because of low iron levels.:

"I did not."

:I know. But they all think you did, so you will obediently eat a few bars and save the rest.:

"What am I saving them for?"

:The future,: a flash of idea came to her and Raisa smiled, picking up a bar in one hand as she scooped the box into her other arm to put them away. Damian had no doubt pinched these from his employer but no matter how they were gained, she couldn't help but feel touched by the gesture. She didn't like wolf, but it was the major form of protein around here and he knew it, so he'd done his best to provide in another way. It reminded her again why she loved him, why she had moved here with him.

Of course there was another reason and almost as if he knew she was finished with her breakfast he woke up, crying softly, and Raisa let out a small cry of her own as she bustled over to her son, her Cloud. She couldn't help but smile into his blue eyes when he looked up at her expectantly but something stopped her from reaching out to pick up him. She was going to change his future. And despite all the pain she had seen for him, there was also friendship. That would all be gone.

:He will be alive,: her future self reminded her forcefully. :And he can have some of those friendships again.:

Even so, Raisa reached out with one finger, gently tickling it over Cloud's forehead and down over his nose as she smiled back at him when he giggled. Her heart swelled. This was her son and just looking into his baby blue eyes, so clear and defined, was enough for her. She might take away one future, but she would give him a better one, no matter the cost to herself.

"Oh Cloud, I love you," Raisa whispered tenderly before reaching out to pick up her child, holding him close as she shivered. Her future self was silent, focusing on the soft embrace and the child in her arms and Raisa realised that she was crying. Absently, she stroked one hand through Cloud's soft downy hair. It had been so long and she had missed this so much, the familiar scent that was her child. She wouldn't think about the future today; she couldn't think about the future and Raisa stood and moved to one of the large rocking chairs to sit in it. She held Cloud close, swaying gently back and forth.

Just for today, just for now, she would hold him close and pretend that everything was going to be okay, that the future would be bright. Just for now she would forget the actuality that was waiting for him and dream the normal dreams of a mother. She trembled as she held Cloud close, whispering her love to him.

Just for today.


That's how they found her, Jax and the Mayor, humming a lullaby to Cloud, a soft smile on her face and gentle eyes never leaving her child, memorising his lines. It was painful to interrupt that scene but she had to know and when Raisa looked over at them she knew why they had come.

Her future self had known, she'd known… She just hadn't thought it would be this quickly. She never had the chance to say goodbye. Raisa didn't know what she said to them but they left their condolences and a few items that belonged to Damian on the table. She barely saw them but they were all she had left.

He'd died in the reactor. A pipe had come loose, something had gone wrong and he hadn't known what hit him. But even though the reactors were taking from the planet, the Lifestream was strong in them and his body was gone, going back to the Planet before anyone had any chance to say goodbye. It was a miracle they knew he was gone already and just not late from his shift.

But there, on the table, was his key card; a strange bit of technology that Shinra insisted upon. And his neatly folded clothes lay next to the pail he carried his lunch in. There was no weapon. Mount Nibel was not the safest of places and the wild animals could be brutal but Damian had been a local. He didn't need a weapon and he claimed that if it was a Nibel wolf that ate him, then that would most likely be his own fault for straying on to their territory. It hadn't been. It had been something in the reactor and Raisa couldn't fight the memories of that glowing blue thing. That had been in the reactor? Could that have done something?

:No. A pipe came loose on the second landing gantry and hit him. That's all.: Her voice from the future was sure and while Raisa heard the words, she didn't feel them in her soul. Her Damian was gone. Her sweet, loving, caring husband would never walk back through the door with his little smile and wave. She never got to say goodbye, never got to tell him, one last time, how much she loved him. There was so much she never got to do… so much he never got to do.

He never saw Cloud walk, never heard him say 'Da' and never got to guide him as Cloud became a man they would both be proud of. It wasn't fair. Two days ago she hadn't known this would happen. The memories that lay within her let her know and she knew that the words were truth. A pipe had come loose. It was a simple, stupid accident. Her future self had grieved but she had not and it changed nothing.

Her Damian was gone.

Raisa sat in the chair, holding her Cloud as her thoughts chased themselves around. Her memories old and new seemed to fight a war. Damian's memory was strong and for the moment she embraced it. His blond hair, his soft blue eyes, so much like their son, the way he smiled, in that almost shy way, but you knew when you saw it that he was genuinely happy. Raisa held Cloud close and rocked back and forth, staring at nothing, her thoughts consuming her as she waited for tears to come.

It was Cloud's crying that brought her out of it and initially Raisa didn't know how long she had been…

:Catatonic,: the word was supplied by a disgusted sounding voice but she didn't care as she looked down at Cloud.

He was feebly struggling in her grip and from his cries he wanted to be fed, he wanted to be changed, he wanted everything that a little baby did and while the heavy lethargy of the knowledge that Damian was not there still weighed upon her, Cloud's need pushed through it and she rose. Mechanically, Raisa took care of Cloud's simple wants. She washed him and reclothed him, putting the soiled cloths in a bag to be washed later since she couldn't just let them fall. She mashed some simple food for him and fed him, making sure that he couldn't play and didn't spill it. But she ate nothing for herself and drank nothing save for a tiny sip of water to make sure the temperature was okay for her baby.

As soon as he was changed and fed, Cloud fell asleep though Raisa hadn't missed the stare from his bright blue eyes, the stare that said she better not leave it that long again. She'd almost smiled at that. It was the selfishness of a child too young to do anything for themselves. He had only her… He was not yet the man she had seen, the man who could face the end of everything without even a hint of panic in his gaze.

:And he won't be if you don't take care of yourself.:

She ignored the suggestion as she moved to the table and ran her finger tips over the few trinkets the Mayor and Jax had brought to her. It didn't make sense. How had they known that something had gone wrong? Oh… yeah… The communication device and the people living in the Shinra Mansion. They'd have known… They'd have told the villagers so that they could collect whatever was there. No need to waste their time. It was only one of their employees who had died, no one important, no one who couldn't be replaced. Shinra had promised jobs for everyone in the village when they built that reactor but it had only brought one job while the rest of the village still lived the way they always had. But now Damian's job was gone.

Damian was gone.

It was one thing to know that he was gone, but it was quite another to feel it. She had grieved and the memories of her past grief were strong but her current grief was consuming her. Raisa mechanically climbed into bed after locking the door and lay for a long time, motionless.

She didn't dream but she dreaded waking. Not because Damian would be gone, no, because someone else would be there, someone else was waiting for her to wake with almost infinite patience and there was no escape.

It was inevitable and slowly Raisa opened her eyes. The sun was up and streamed through the little windows into the room and no matter her feelings the bright rays of light softened her heart.

:It's time you got up.:

"It is," Raisa agreed, getting a cup of water. "What do I do now?" Damian was gone. She had a whole set of memories of the future screaming in her head and somehow she was expected to change the world. Great Odin… What was she meant to do now?

:Now? Now you go on. He wouldn't want you to fall because of this. He wouldn't want the planet to fall.:

Raisa bowed her head. The words were true, but it hurt that her future self would use the death of her… their husband to blackmail her. Perhaps it had really been just arrogance that made her think she was prepared to go to the same lengths to save Cloud.

:You will. In time, you will, just not yet.:

Cloud was still asleep and Raisa was thankful that he was such a placid baby. He never really fussed unless he needed something and he slept well. It gave her time to think and, now, time to cry. Astonished, she reached up and felt the tear that was tracing its way down her cheek. "Oh Damian," she whispered, closing her eyes as more tears fell. She would miss him. She would miss him more every day but the weight of memory, of purpose within her, was too strong and she could not deny that. Cloud needed her.

Not the small baby that he was, but the strong, though damaged man he would become.

If she didn't change it.

Raisa rose and went to the door, unlocking and opening it. As expected there were several gifts on the step and she took them in, locking the door again once she had everything inside. She could survive on the charity of the village for a while, but not forever and if she was to change the future, she first had to change her own fate. She needed a job. You only survived if you ate. Her thoughts spun and she took a little bit of bread and cheese from the gifts and made that breakfast before she filled the pot with water and waited for it to heat from stone cold to at least luke warm.

"Shinra needs a watcher," Raisa said aloud as she striped off slowly and ran a damp cloth over her body. Only the Mayor had a real bathroom. The rest of the village made do with what they had for centuries but she didn't mind. The activity was soothing. "And I can't be that watcher," Raisa added. To anyone looking in it would seem as if she was talking to herself but she was sorting out her thoughts, all the odd future thoughts that were still trying to be seen and she was sorting out her priorities.

:The watcher will come in time,: came the confident voice, accompanied by a few scenes of fighting.

She didn't understand but from that, from fighting, she knew that Shinra was still challenged and that would be enough.

"But that watcher didn't stay," Raisa said. "I need them to stay. Why didn't they stay?"

The answer was again shown to her in memory. They had no choice but to surrender. The SOLDIERs were too strong, and though their courage was almost infinite, that was not enough.

She shook her head, drying off as best she could and re-dressing before picking up a comb to begin taking out the tangles in her hair. She had to take it one thing at a time, even the little tasks had to be broken up. While she had enough resources to survive for now times would be very lean if she did not find another source of income… though how did she survive last time?

The memory did not come and Raisa frowned, pushing through the fighting and death and disease, searching for herself. There were many memories of Cloud, more than she thought possible, all of him growing up, but there was nothing of herself, except by association. That was not possible. "What happened?" She demanded softly, still combing her hair.

:It doesn't matter.:

Raisa sensed that her future self was upset and ashamed and her frown deepened. What had she done to survive? "You should tell me, because if I can't find this job I'm going to be back in the exact same situation… And I already know what jobs are like out there," she gestured vaguely towards the door. Realistically, she already knew finding a job in the village was an impossibility. They were tight knit, everyone had their task and everyone did it. There were no tourists you could entertain for some gil, there was nothing but the village and the Shinra Mansion. There was the Inn, but they were staffed already. There was the brewery, but that was a man's domain and what excess they produced was shipped to the supposedly dry Rocket Town. The bakery was jealously guarded by the matronly woman who ran the place. She was essentially going begging, and to receive the condolences of the village when she went out today, but Raisa knew it would be expected. She could grow some vegetables for sale, but most of what she grew she'd need herself and Nibelheim wasn't the most hospitable climate, she'd need to gather her own firewood and that was going to be difficult with a baby.

Survival now with Damian gone was a very difficult thing, but she had to try and she would succeed. She had in the past and she would now, but how had she done it in the past? Raisa glanced over at Cloud who was still sleeping soundly before she turned her attention inwards again.

"What happened?"

:It doesn't matter.:

"It does. You know as well as I do what my prospects are like. What happened?"

The memories were reluctant but they came and Raisa almost wished they hadn't. Despite the bath she had just had, her skin crawled with grime and she rubbed her hands together, dropping the comb and plunging them into the warm water of the basin. "You…" She wasn't sure what she could say at the memory of almost every man in the village touching her… using her… all as if it was their right, as if it was… She didn't know. But she did know that she would likely have to do that again… Raisa brought a handful of water to her face, scrubbing at her skin hard even though she had just washed.

And all through it, every single time she had been named a slut or a whore by the village children, Cloud had stood up for her, defended her and was sometimes beaten for it, but he never backed down, never agreed that they were right. Those memories hurt worse than the others.

"Did he know?"

Her older self sighed deeply. :I think… as he got older… he knew but he never said, never even hinted… but I think he worked it out.:

"Oh my Cloud," more tears threatened to fall.

:I did what I had to,: her other self said quietly. :Something you won't have to because we are going to try something I never did.:

"What?" She asked hopefully.

:We are going to ask at the Mansion.:

Raisa gasped as the plan was laid out to her. The Mansion scared her. It scared all the villagers. It was Shinra's and they stayed away, going up to it only when invited, only on the rare occasions that they had to deliver odd supplies that the company didn't provide. Damian had laughed. He went there on occasion but he was… had been an employee. It was not the same.

But the plan made sense and the back of her throat still felt sick from the memory of the alternative. It was worth a try. Almost anything was worth trying. Reluctantly, Raisa reached up to twist her blonde locks into a knot before reaching down to smooth out her apron. She might have only been wanting a cleaning job there, or anything simple, but she had to look clean herself. That was one of the things she had learned growing up in Kalm, you didn't ask for a job if you looked desperate. Only someone taking pity on you would give you one then. You asked when you looked like you could do it, when you looked like you had alternatives. You had to sell yourself, though Raisa didn't think she'd have much competition at the Mansion. She had to convince them that they needed a cleaner.

She almost snorted at her own thoughts, pushing the memories of Damian that threatened to overwhelm her to the back of her mind as she picked up his keycard and put it gently into one pocket before moving to Cloud. He was still sleeping but he would wake up hungry and carefully Raisa picked him up, slinging her shawl around him so that he rested on her back, a familiar warm weight who was both comforting and would give her strength. She was doing this for Cloud.

Just as she would do the … other things for Cloud if that's what happened.

Resolutely, Raisa walked to the door, unbolting and opening it to blink in the bright morning light. Thankfully, none of the villagers were there, which made it easy for her to walk down the short path to the town centre to turn down the road that lead to the Mansion. She wasn't sure she could handle talking to anyone at the moment, not when she needed all her resolve to approach the Mansion.

The Mansion was something Shinra had built. No one really knew why. Their reactor was high on the mountain and had been there for a long time. While the reactor was being built most of the workers had been housed in little tents on the rough rock outcropping that it was perched on. They came into the town occasionally but there wasn't much interaction between the villagers and the workers. Even once the reactor was finished, it was set to be mostly automatic. Damian had been one of the few routine workers and he never spoke about what he did at the reactor. But Shinra had built the Mansion and people from the Company came and went at odd times. The villagers could tell from the lights that appeared some nights. Sure, there were rumours that it was haunted - the children had a particularly amusing story about a red cloaked vampire - and there were stories that it was a nest of monsters, but no one had ever been able to confirm where the periodic monsters that occasionally approached the village came from, except from the mountain. The rumour persisted that they originated from the Mansion. Besides, those monsters were nothing. They had much fiercer things to deal with in the form or Nibel Wolves and Dragons. As some of the men had joked, when deep in their cups, a few monsters were a welcome change.

But still the Mansion seemed cold to the village, as if it was some giant brooding thing just watching them and it didn't make sense for Shinra to have built such a large house… and then not to use it.

:There are monsters in there,: Raisa started when her future self whispered the words quite clearly to her. :But they are not bat wings or the Ying Yang, they are people. Those are the real monsters.:

She didn't know what a bat wing or a Ying Yang was but she well knew how monstrous people could be and Raisa was not re-assured. "Why tell me this now?" she hissed, reaching out to the big black gate of the Mansion and pushing it open.

:Because you need to know,: was the only reply and the blonde woman shook her head. She needed to know right as she was about to ask them for a job? No… she could have waited until later and Raisa couldn't help but think that her future self somewhat enjoyed the horror stories that abounded around the Shinra Mansion. :They aren't horror stories if they are true.:

The words were not what she needed to hear when she reached out to knock on the door. Consequently the sure but polite knock she had been aiming for with the gesture came out as being weak and timid and Raisa mentally huffed at her companion. She understood why her future self was doing this. It was partly to distract her from the rawness of Damian's death but she didn't have to do it now. She wasn't going to fall apart… again. And, really, a bit of grief was expected no matter how much she had known it would happen, because she'd only really known for a few hours, two days at the most, and she had been unconscious for a lot of that time. That wasn't really knowing.

The door creaked open and Raisa gasped, suppressing a loud squeak at the man who stood there. She knew him. He had been one of the faces that had gone before her. He didn't yet have the scar, but the weight of the world was clearly on his shoulders, though he bore it well. His suit was immaculate and his hair was neatly combed. She felt a sudden premonition of danger from him and knew that while he may look like a man in a suit, he was dangerous.

"May I help you, Ma'am?"

He was very dangerous. His voice was smooth and clear and did not hold even the hint of threat or assessment but she could tell he was looking at her, sizing up every weak point. :Because you present such a threat,: her older self laughed and Raisa was forced to agree. She was a country woman, dressed as a country woman, carrying her baby. If she was anything else, she wouldn't have had the baby and when the man's brown eyes saw Cloud sleeping in her shawl he relaxed very slightly. If she hadn't been looking for it with two sets of eyes, she would have missed it.

"My husband…" Raisa choked on the word unexpectedly.

"Ah, my condolences Mrs. Strife," he said without missing a beat and his voice was genuinely comforting. "It's crass of me but a termination package will be forwarded to you," he added and somehow the words were still comforting.

Raisa shook her head. "It's not that," she managed to get out through a throat that was swelling with tears. "I came..." Why had she come? "I came to ask for a job." she finished in a rush.

The scarred man blinked. "A job, Mrs. Strife?" Suspicion was deep in his tone though he hid it well.

"A job," she confirmed. "Nothing to do with the reactor," she hastened to assure him after her future self nudged her memories of environmental terrorists. "I can't take Cloud up on to the mountain," she added turning to give the now awake Cloud a little smile. He was looking around at everything with wide blue eyes but somehow sensed that his mother couldn't be disturbed so he was silent. "I was thinking something more mundane," Raisa continued, turning back to look the man in the eye. She was not a terrorist, she was not afraid, and she was going to get this job.

"Ma'am?"

"Shinra comes and goes from this mansion at all times of the year. Wouldn't it be much nicer if it was clean and ready for you when you arrived?"

"Ah," understanding seeped into his eyes but the suspicion was still there and Raisa got the impression that this man didn't really trust anyone much. It was a sad way to live. But she knew she had made a point with him. His suit was immaculate. It could not be easy keeping it that way if he had to traipse around a dusty mansion… What was he doing here anyway? Internally, Raisa shook her head. It didn't matter what a man in a blue suit was doing in the Shinra Mansion. It did not concern her. Getting this job did. "I will enquire," he said finally, giving her a small nod that was an obvious dismissal.

"Thank you, Sir," Raisa replied, returning the nod and turning to leave. "I will wait in the village." She felt his eyes on her the entire way down the path and the sense of being watched only vanished once she had re-entered the village. She'd glanced back once, and given the man who was still standing in the open door a tiny wave before she had been on her way.

With that task done and her future self reasonably sure that they would hire her on as a menial, she had a far harder job to do now. She had to face the villagers… and their condolences. Raisa banished her grief so that it could not overwhelm her. She relied on the memories of grieving to give her a false sense that she had already come to terms with Damian's death as she walked into the village square. She didn't like it, but this had to be done and she couldn't do it any other way.


It wasn't until later in the evening that Raisa received her answer. The day had been long but she felt she had accepted the condolences and advice and presents from the villagers well and she had been looking forward to the solitude of the evening. She had taken Damian's keycard from her pocket when she reached her house again and had pulled up one of the loose floor boards from under the rug and put the card there. No one had asked for it, and it smelt of Damian so she didn't want to give it up. It would be safe there, a memory of him that she would know so that every day, he would be with her, giving her strength to go on from below.

Later, when Raisa was putting Cloud to bed, there was a knock on the door. She didn't rush to it, but did answer with good time and was not surprised to see the brown haired man standing there.

"Sir," she greeted him, unsure if she should invite him in.

"Mrs. Strife," he greeted her formally and Raisa could well imagine the watching eyes from the surrounding houses. It was only then that she realised she should have indicated she would come back for an answer. No matter, it was too late now and when the villagers asked, she'd simply tell them the truth. She'd asked for a job. They'd tsk and tout but the men would understand. They would support her for a while, in respect of her loss, but not forever.

"Would you like to come in?"

"No, thank you," the words seemed genuine, especially with the cold nip of the wind. Nibelheim was never what one would call warm. "I won't keep you long since I know you must have much to do." That was a lie. She had nothing to do, not once the light faded and she was expected to be in mourning, but she let that go. "I came by to say that your services would be greatly appreciated."

Raisa smiled and she felt the burden lifting from her. It would not be much money, but it would be enough. "Thank you, Sir," she said, letting her heartfelt thanks echo through her words and she was unaware of the ethereal beauty her smile gave her.

"Report at 9am tomorrow and someone will show you what is to be done. Though I give you warning now, the Mansion is not just a house. It is a place of work for Shinra. There are places you will not be allowed to go, and any trespassing into those areas will result in your immediate termination."

"I understand, Sir," Raisa said, not showing that she understood far more than he probably thought she did. This man didn't mean that Shinra would terminate her job if she went where she wasn't welcome. No, their solutions were much more permanent and the Raisa of three days ago would not have known that. The Raisa of now was all too aware and she struggled to suppress a shiver. The way the man said it was matter of fact. He was too accustomed to death. "I will report at 9am tomorrow, and will only work in the areas assigned to me."

"Very good, Ma'am," the man said with a small smile, once more bowing his head slightly to her as he turned and walked back towards the Mansion.

Raisa closed the door behind him once he had left her garden and with trembling legs she made it to the table and sat down. Relief had flooded through her at his words but further implications were now becoming clear. She could survive for now without going down the path her future self had, but that would not do anything to change the future. She still had that problem to attend to and with her own survival now assured, it loomed larger than ever.

Everything that Shinra was, was embodied in that man. He was well dressed and well-spoken, but hovering just beneath the surface was violence. Nothing would be allowed to stand in his path, and if it did, it would be removed. And in the future she remembered, Shinra had gone down that path, removing every obstacle they encountered with a callous disregard for life, for the Planet. By the time anyone realised they had gone so far, they had become necessary… How did she stop that? How did she keep a watcher?

:You'll answer that in time,: her future self spoke. :I'd better tell you about the Mansion.:

"What about the Mansion?"

It wasn't as if Raisa couldn't just 'remember' the information. A lifetime of information had been put into her head… more than a lifetime really but it was easier with the guidance her future self provided and Raisa wondered if the woman would remain there forever.

:Not forever. I'll fade as the days go on, as you become more comfortable with the knowledge and I won't be necessary. I told you that already.:

Raisa shook her head, and reached up to push her fringe back behind her ear. "What about the Mansion?" she asked again.

:This is the place where they are conducting the initial experiments to create SOLDIERs. They are raising Sephiroth here… Or they will be, for a few years.:

"Sephiroth…" Raisa whispered the name. He was the one who had hurt Cloud so many times. He was the one at the centre of it all.

:He is, and he isn't. It's JENOVA who must be destroyed,: her future self said enigmatically.

"Will I meet him?"

:Who?:

"Sephiroth."

:Maybe. I don't know how much interaction they will allow him to have with the menials. You won't meet him overnight, that's for sure.:

Raisa took a deep breath as she thought. She hadn't really agreed with her future self's earlier suggestion that she could kill Sephiroth. At this point, he was still just a child, but he was so central to the destruction in the future. The more she saw, the more she remembered, the more the suggestion didn't seem so monstrous.

:Heh… He's not the one to worry about.:

"Who is then?"

:Hojo,: came the reply, accompanied by a memory of Cloud screaming while a man in a white coat cut into him, all the while muttering something under his breath.

She managed to pull her fingers back from her palms before the nails cut into them, but never the less her nails left impressions that stung deeply as she growled.

:All you need to do for the moment is survive and raise Cloud. The path to the future will open in time. Keep your eyes open in the Mansion, though. There are many things you can learn there that will be beneficial. There are many things I remember that you don't yet know.:

"What?"

:You've only begun to touch my memories. I've a pretty good idea about how to change the future and you'll have the same idea when you absorb all the information,: the woman who was her said easily. :For now, all you need to do is focus on living. There is time yet.:

Raisa nodded, poking around in her own mind. If there really was a lifetime of memories in her head, then there were those she would not know until something triggered it. She'd just have to find the triggers so that she could change Cloud's future. There was no way, no way that she would let him live through that torture again. The thought of killing the child Sephiroth did grate upon her morals, no matter what she could remember him doing to her Cloud. At least in most of the memories, they were fighting, neither was defenceless and her boy always won. Not always uninjured, or without great pain, but he won.

With the few memories she had seen of Hojo, cutting into her Cloud, making him scream or the worse memory of when he could no longer scream, the thought of killing him awoke nothing. If she saw no way to change the future, then that would be her method. She would at least kill Hojo, kill the man who had hurt Cloud so deeply and so needlessly.

This, she vowed.

One way or another, Hojo would not survive to the future.


Cheers for reading.

Jade