A/N: Just to mention, non of these are in order (though some jokes may be carried on from last chapter) it just relays on the episode I'm either watching that day or what I felt like.


Dark Water, Ep11, S8

Scene 14, Take 1. ACTION!

*Missy grabs The Doctors hand and places it on her heart(s)*

MISSY: Is everything in order?

DOCTOR: Who maintains your- Wait, Wait a minute... YOU HAVE TWO HEARTS. WHAT THE HELL, YOU'RE A... TIMELORD? I'M NOT THE LAST ONE! OH MY GOD, OH. MY. GOD. *Leaping up and down enthusiastically*

MISSY: *Looks around awkwardly* Urm... That wasn't supposed to happen...

CLARA: I have no idea what's going on, I'm starting to re-think this whole 'companion' thing...

DONNA [OC]: I FEEL YA GIRL. *Sky cheering in background, along with Rose Tyler*

DOCTOR: OH MY GOD, BUT CLARA, CLARA, SHE'S A TIME LORD. A TIME. LORD- Hang on what? You-you- CLARA TAKE THAT BACK! *Pouts* AND DONNA YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER BEING MY COMPANION- Oh. Oh shit...

DONNA [OC]: What? what was that?

DIRECTOR: *Laughing nervously* N-nothing Donna dear, just, just go home. *Pauses* And Rose, please stay in the alternate universe I really can't deal with an extra hole in the universe being ripped open, It's really not in my job description... as where many things not... *begins sweating*

MISSY: So... I don't know what to do now...

DOCTOR: *Grinning so wide it's sort of creepy* YOU'RE A TIME LORD! NOW WE CAN ALL GO GALLIVANTING ON ADVENTURES! CLARA IT'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN! *Grabs Missy and Clara's hands starts leaping up and down*

MISSY: *Looks around kind of uncomfortably* Yeah, mate I don't do urm, gallivanting or leaping... I just kind of take over the word... *Grins weakly*

DOCTOR: *Suddenly freezes and stares at Missy.* Wait. What?

MISSY: There we go! *Smiles evilly and gives the director a thumbs up*

DIRECTOR: Right... Can. Can we just try that again?...

Xx

Scene 14, Take 2. ACTION!

*Missy grabs The Doctors hand and puts it on her heart(s)*

MISSY: Is everything in order?

DOCTOR: Who maintains your heart?

MISSY: My heart is maintained by The Doctor.

DOCTOR: Doctor Who?

MISSY: *Stares at him trying to keep a straight face then bursts out laughing* Y-YOU SAID IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT. *Continues laughing hysterically*

DOCTOR: What? What did I say!

MISSY: *Laughing so hard she finds it difficult to speak* Y-you s-said. *Laughing for a moment* D-Doctor- Doctor Who! *Tears streaming down face* That's, the title of the show... And I can't even *Laughing so hard no sound comes out*

DOCTOR: What? There's a show? *Looks around as if he only just noticed all the cameras surrounding him* WHY IS THE TITLE DOCTOR WHO? I'M THE DOCTOR! IT'S DOCTOR ME! THERE'S NO WHO ABOUT IT!

MISSY: *leaning against the wall and laughing hysterically* Y-Yo-You said it! You actually said it!

DOCTOR: Doctor who? *Grinning widely*

MISSY: *Laughs even harder, almost shrieking*

CLARA: I, I don't understand? You have a name right? I'm so confused right now, it's not even that funny?...

CLARA: ..So can I just, just go home now?

MISSY: *Curled in a ball rocking whilst she continues laughing*

DOCTOR: *Yelling in Missy's ear* DOCTOR WHOOO? DOCTOORR WHOOO!

RIVER: *Poofs in*

DOCTOR: NO RIVER NOT REALLY, DON'T SAY ITTT! *Leaps towards her as she begins to say his name*

RIVER: *Crashes into the ground* -OWWW! DUDE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH ME I'M NOT HERE, AND NO YOU CAN'T DO THE WHOLE 'I always see you' SPEECH AGAIN! *Sobbing in the distance*

CLARA: Is that River? Didn't she like, die, or something like that...?

RIVER: CAN A DEAD GIRL HAVE NOTHING? Why is my being dead such an issue? *Sighs and points at a crying with laughter Missy* She's not a welcome droid.

DOCTOR: What?

RIVER: I'd say spoilers but, I'm dead so.. No point really.. You'd think being you're wife an all, someone would find a way to actually save me. Yanno. That would be nice, less tragic, happy, even. *Glares directly at Steven Moffat*

RIVER: Anyway, whoo, it's me River, hello sweetie Blah blah. Ok. Whatever. Bye. *Fades away (Again?)*

DIRECTOR: Umm, so that was, urm, interesting. She's still mad about that, then? Even after a mimosa? Yeesh.. Ok, so, Good try guys, not really what I was looking for... But... Yeh.. *Glances at Missy*

MISSY: *sprawled face down against floor, laughing into the ground*

DOCTOR: *Points to Missy* Shall we just pry her off the ground then?

DIRECTOR: *Sighs then just nods*

Xx

Scene 15, Take 1. ACTION!

*Seb opens the doors and lets Danny go first into the night air with emergency vehicle sirens wailing in the distance.*

SEB: Bit of fresh air. Do you good.

DANNY: Why's it so cold here?

SEB: And the Wi-Fi is better out here. Don't know why.

DANNY: Wi-Fi?

SEB: Yeah, still a bit spotty, but basically

DANNY: You have Wi-Fi here?

*Seb is calling something up on his tablet computer.*

DANNY: You. You have ipads in the afterlife?

SEB: *Stares at Danny then sighs* Ok, so. A) This is the twenty first century, really. What where you expecting. b) It's the afterlife basically anything can happen. WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED YOU'RE DEAD THIS IS HEAVEN OR WHATEVER AND THERES WI-FI AND IPADS DEAL WITH ALRIGHT MATE?

DANNY: *Looks awkwardly to side then nods*

SEB: *Suddenly smiling again* Listen, another big question. Have you ever killed anybody?

DANNY: I'm close to.

SEB: *laughs awkwardly* Right. *Pauses then leaps off balcony*

DIRECTOR: FOR GODS SAKE. Danny, chill with the death threats... You know how he over reacts, give the therapy a chance!

SEB: *Flashes back beside him* Right so where were we? *Smiles.*

DANNY: What- How?

MISSY: *Flashes in, grabs Danny by collar* LOOK, JUST TAKE WHAT HE GIVES YOU, YOU'RE MESSING MY EVIL PLAN UP HERE!

DANNY: *Nods* Ok.

MISSY: *Smiles* Ok, TOODLES! *Flashes out*

DANNY: What evil mistress says 'toodles'?

SEB: I've just learnt to role with it, that's life, you know? *Starts hyperventilating*