A Gundam Wing/AC Fanfiction – Hinter dem Horizont

Disclaimer: Usual disclaimer applies.

Character(s): Heero Yuy/Duo Maxwell/Relena P

Pairing(s): 1xR

Genre(s): Hurt/Comfort/Friendship/Family

A/N: Warning, possible AU and AR. And please note that English is not my native language, so please pardon me for any possible grammar and vocabulary mistakes.


Cochem, Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany

May, AC 199

Spring was Relena's favourite season. She loved the blooming flowers and how every living being waking up from their long sleep from the winter. This year, she chose Cochem as her run agate; a small town in Germany near the border of Luxembourg – surrounded by breathe taking sceneries of beautiful mountains and rivers. Though it was a small town, there was plenty to see and do. The town was fascinating with the very well preserved historic architecture, spanning from Medieval ages to the late nineteenth century.

Her favourite spot to spend an evening was the Cochem Reichburg Imperial Castle that stood high on a hill, and it was the town's most significant impressive site. She could see the impressive view of the whole town with the Moselle River cleaving it into two. She would then bring along her dinner to eat it while watching the sunset. But, most of all, the company of Heero was the one that made her whole runaway perfect.

She would ask her usual question, "What do you see beyond the horizon today, Heero?"

Heero looked thoughtful for a moment, calculating as ever. He turned to the window, and the glowing dusk radiating him with a warm ray of orange and purplish shade that made him as if illuminated – his slightly Asian features, with traces of a few generations of Asian-Caucasian cross-cultural breeding, made him for an exotic and striking combination. He was so handsome, and his dark-brooding aura added his prodigious charm.

"Light," he concluded. "Warm lights from the life of people beneath."

Relena followed his gaze, and nodded. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the radiance as the form of human hearts?" Relena tried to peek more into his notions.

"No." His answer was immediate and without hesitation. "Human hearts are not that beautiful. The mere existence of people alive out there is beautiful, Relena, but it doesn't make them beautiful. The radiance of the sunset is just simply representing the light of lives."

"Our existence and our hearts are simply something different?" Relena prompted.

"Humans are wicked," Heero told her for the umpteenth time. "But lives are shining like that sun, making this world alive and colourful. Giving this world the life it needs."

"So you no longer value life as cheap?" Relena teased him.

"It will always be," he said calmly, a distant look evidence on his eyes.

"Why?"

"One dies, another born. That was my definition of life is cheap, including mine. But one's life…" he paused, turning at her with a solemn expression, "I value them."

"Then what makes you think that yours is different?" Relena was genuinely concerned; but curiosity took the best of her.

"I am a soldier," Heero said, carefully choosing his words. "My purpose is to fight to end the war. My role has ended. I have no more value in this world of peace."

Relena blinked, and then glared at the ex-Gundam pilot disapprovingly. "That's nonsense, Heero. You are actually very valuable. You saved the world; you created the peace everyone was desperately carving for. Your role has ended? No, you're wrong. You're the symbol of hope for people, Heero. Contradictory, your role has just begun. The journey of your true life has just begun."

"I have neither right nor qualification to become humanity's hope. My hands are stained with the blood of people I killed. I cannot let these hands to smear what little concord left in this world." Heero pointed his finger to the slowly drowning sun in the distance. "Look at that. If there's someone that can be people's hope then it is you, Relena. You rise to shine your light at the beginning of the day and you guard the people by the end of the day, just like the sun in the horizon."

"Do you realise something after all you've been through, Heero? Let me tell you something." She reached for Heero's arm, resting her hand gently against his warm and soft skin. "Let me tell you the truth. You are my sun, Heero. You are my light at the beginning of the day and you are my sunset beyond the darkness of the night."

Heero frowned, trying to conceive her meaning. "Why?"

"You're my strength," Relena confessed, her voice was soft and she smiled. "I won't be able to stand on my own feet without you. When I lost my resolve, you were always the one to courage me. When I fell desperate, you were the only one who brought me back on my feet; you were always by my side to overcome all of my fears and hesitations. You told me to live my life with my emotion. With everything you've been through, you opened my eyes to the other world beyond my reach; you made me understand the heart of people, you gave me other lots of point of view regarding this life. Despite anything you said about yourself, I feel different. I cannot imagine what would I become, or how would I face this complicated world without you on my back. You are my strength," she repeated, squeezing Heero's arm. She perked her finger to the blackening sky. "If you don't agree with me, then let's try to see it like this: I might be the sun, but you're the sky that covering the whole earth; watching over me, over us." She cocked her head in anticipation, chuckling. "What do you think of that, Heero?"

The young man was deep in his own whirling thoughts and emotions, trying to assert them into a coherent one. Finally, he replied quietly, "That would be a very big responsibility I might not able to accomplish." He gave a light touch on her shoulder before added soberly, "But I can always try."

Relena nodded knowingly, and they continued to eat their dinner in insouciance silence, watching as the sky slowly turning from the dark purple shade into a complete black.

She wouldn't have to worry. If Heero was willing to try, then it was up to her to guide him through his emotions and to survive his own existence.


Brussels, March 27, AC 202

2200 hours

For Quatre Winner, Heero Yuy was the greatest brother-in-arm and the best comrade one could ever ask.

With his uncanny ability to feel people's emotions, Quatre could fathom the inimitable of Heero's demeanour and actions better than the other pilots. During the war, he could sense waves of warmth and kindness from within the Wing Zero pilot, however dull it was under Heero's perfect soldier mask. Quatre even suspected that Heero might be the most humane between the five of them.

Taking a deep breath, Quatre turned Heero's hospital doorknob slowly. Relena looked up from her papers and laptop, and smiled upon realising Quatre's figure.

"Relena," Quatre said softly, taking her one hand in and kissed it. "It's good to see you. How have you been? I'm sorry I couldn't make it sooner, I'm afraid that my schedule has been hectic lately."

"Not at all, Quatre, thank you for coming. Please, have a seat," Relena gestured to the empty couch by the window. "I'm doing fine. Did you met with Trowa and the others?"

"Yes, he's down at the cafeteria, said will be joining us shortly after buying some snacks for you. Wufei's waiting for Duo, he got a little business in the headquarters." Quatre plopped down to the plastic chair beside the bed in the centre of the room instead. Quatre studied Heero's lying figure, the oxygen tube had been removed. But Quatre noticed the breathing still laboured; coming out in faint wheezes. "How is he?"

Relena gathered her papers and closed her laptop, joining Quatre. "He woke up sometime in the morning, but the doctors are keeping him sedated for a little longer to give his lungs more time to recuperate properly before back into more strenuous activity." She carefully adjusted the blanket to cover up Heero's chest. "So far, his body is accepting the liver, but they can't decide for now. They told me recovery after liver transplantation can be a long and slow process, he will be still kept under close monitor of his bodily functions, regular blood testing, and in time allowing eating, and then initiate physical therapy and activity to help regain his muscle strength. He's being given some particular medicine to prevent rejection intravenously," she gestured to the IV lines attached to Heero's arm, "others are given by mouth and eventually all medications are given by mouth."

"You're doing so well, Heero," Quatre murmured quietly, an indescribable feeling of joy filled his heart. I'm glad… Heero's alive. He's alive. Thank God…

"He will have frequent blood tests and other exams to monitor liver function and detect any evidence of rejection or infection in the new liver, during the first six weeks after transplantation," Relena looked up to Quatre, her expression was distraught. "Quatre, he… he will need to take immunosuppressants for the rest of his life."

Quatre blinked at this. "A medication for the rest of his life?"

"Yes," the young vice minister conceded. "I was told that he will have regular follow-up appointments to monitor his progress. During these appointments, he will have tests to assess his liver and kidney function, and to check the level of that immunosuppressant in the blood. Then they told me what it was."

"So there's always a chance that Heero would not be back to his former shape?"

"Yes," the young woman concurred, "because there is always a risk that his body will recognise the new liver as foreign and his immune system will attack it… that's what they called as rejection."

A long silence filled the room. The young blond businessman shivered when he sensed an overwhelming dread coming from the young woman, and he instinctively cupped Relena's hands in his, trying to give comfort she was needed.

"Duo told us that Heero has changed, Relena," Quatre said gently. "Ever since he became your bodyguard, he changed."

"'Us'?"

"You don't think that we're not keeping touch each other, do you?" Quatre chuckled. "Duo told us that Heero… his perspective of life changed because you showed him the colour of our world, Relena."

"He actually engages in casual conversation with all of you?" Relena asked in awe. "Really?"

"He does," the blond young man agreed. "But I'm sure he's not as open to us as he is with you. He just… becomes normal, I think. In our standard. At least, he isn't the zipped mouth Heero again. Though some of his characteristics didn't change, but, yes, we like the current him a lot better."

"We talk a lot," Relena admitted. "About life, about human, about the world, our feelings… Quatre, I've seen the real Heero Yuy. On Libra… I saw the real him. He's so full of emotions, positive emotions, his heart is so vast… I saw it in his eyes. He was so passionate, so warm, so… loving. I don't know how, but I felt it. Even now I'm feeling it. He still has this tendency to look down of his own life, but… he talked. You might not know how much he means to me, Quatre. Oh, how lost would I be if it wasn't for his endless support! I'm so worried… he was always so strong, and to see him like this, I… just… oh, God, I'm so worried… we almost lost him!" Relena sobbed wretchedly, and buried her face in her hands.

"But thank Allah the almighty that he's here, with us, alive, Relena," said Quatre softly, carefully taking Relena into his embrace, stroking her back gently. "That's all mattered now. He's here. Alive. With us."

Relena nodded vaguely, letting herself fell on Quatre's shoulder, accepting the genuine offer of comfort she was badly needed.


It wasn't because of waiting for Duo that Trowa and Wufei decided not to join Quatre. In fact, it was on an agreement that Quatre will keep Relena in a company and distract her mind from the absence of the other remaining ex-pilots.

Une was literally a mess when she arrived with Duo.

"The president and the ministers are pushing it on me," Une said blearily, running a hand through her rumpled hair, "so I was really having a very rough time, but I'll manage. I know it was my fault that I let my guard down, and look at how it almost took one casualty that would definitely throw me right into a death sentence."

"You should not take it too harsh on yourself. All of us have our own credit for everything happened," Wufei rebuked curtly. "What is it that you insist not to let Darlian into whatever is this?"

"I just don't want to put more weight and pressure on her. She has her hands full already with the disastrous outcome from our failed ambush," Une straightened herself. "And following with Yuy's collapse, no, I'd rather not to let her know. Yuy's doctors told me something that had me disconcerted since… regarding his gunshot wounds."

That caught the entire ex-pilots' full attention.

"Looking from the clean penetration of the bullets, it was by no luck that the bullets hit his chest and abdomen," said Une grimly. "They said that it was very calculated shots. Whoever triggered the pull, he was an expert and he knew what he was doing. The one that grazed his lung, yes, it was a mere missing shot meant to aim his heart, and the fact that two bullets hit his liver… it was intended. It was a clean wound."

Duo groaned. "Well, tell you what? We're fucked up."

"Relena doesn't need to know this," Trowa admitted, "for now. She's had enough as it is."

"Hell, yeah, we'll do all the dirty actions, the princess will just do what she has to do," Duo muttered jadedly. "So he will be put off on medical leave for an indefinite time?"

"What else can I do? He just got his liver transplanted, Duo. Normal recovery usually takes approximately a year. Knowing him as he is, he probably will make it faster, but I can't deny his other permanent health authenticities."

The silence that followed was almost demented.

"I should go now," Trowa finally broke the silence, rising to his feet. "Who's coming?"

"I'll go back to the headquarters with Une," Wufei joined Une's side. "You two go to look after for Yuy and Darlian. Keep me apprised of his progress, Maxwell."

Duo nodded wearily. "Sure," he said, voice gruff from exhaustion. "Come on then, Trowa."


March 28, AC 202

0800 hours

Consciousness slowly seeped into his brain and senses, urging him to wake up and assess any possible damages he might had sustained…

He finally opened his eyes.

A few rays of warm morning sunlight fell on his face; giving him a comfortable feeling. His eyes scanned the surroundings carefully. He was in the hospital. Images of his last memories flashed in front of his eyes, and he deduced bitterly, Failure. Complete failure. The mission was a complete failure… Disgraceful.

"Hey ya there, buddy," a cheerful voice thick with an American southern accent greeted him, and Duo Maxwell's grinning face came into his field of vision. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

Heero gave Duo his most deadly glare when he couldn't find any strength to sit up, well curse that – it even hurt to breath! He suppressed the urge to let out a groan, refusing to give up to the queasiness building up in his stomach. But Duo wasn't chosen as his partner for nothing. The braided man reached for a small paper cup filled with warm water, and gave it to the injured man. Heero considered the small gesture of succour, and finally resigned to the fact that he was in no position to dishonour the kind act.

"Jesus, Heero, stop being such a knucklehead," Duo sighed, seating himself on the plastic chair beside Heero's bed and pushed a button to lift up the upper part of the bed so Heero could lay in a sitting position. "Don't gimme that glare – I didn't shoot you. Drink it, it will help ease nausea."

Heero grumbled as he did as he was told to, his eyes fell on a figure sleeping in the small additional bed by the window. Long blonde hair, soft face lines, manicured nails curled against her cheeks…

"Relena," Heero whispered quietly; the name tasted so delicately jovial on his tongue. "She knew – ?"

Duo scoffed. "Of course she knew. You wouldn't expect the Preventer not saying any little piece of information of this to the Vice Minister, would you, especially after one of our commanders had been shot almost to death? Naw, don't worry, not the whole thing, but yanno, just the details of your health – "

"Status?" Heero interrupted curtly. Duo gaped numbly for a moment before sighing in defeat.

"Fine," Duo snapped petulantly, clearly annoyed. "One grazed your lung, two got your liver. Went under thoracotomy due to a traumatic pneumothorax; liver transplantation was done on March 24, 0000 hours. Regained brief consciousness on March 27, 0600 hours, before being put under sedative again to give your lungs more time to recuperate properly. You were cleared from ICU on 27, 0400 hours."

"Casualties?"

"Immunosuppressant. Physiotherapy. Organ rejection. Regular follow-up appointments. Possible transplant complications and medication side effects will include haemorrhage, thrombosis, or recurrent disease such as Hepatitis C. Immunosuppressive medications are required for the rest of your life – all complaints heeded. Well, those are the pretty much commons I can give you. Princess will provide you with the rest of the details."

Heero's expression was eerily calm. "An entire life medication. Unacceptable."

Duo glared at his partner. "None of that shit, Heero."

"I failed," said Heero quietly, his Prussian blue eyes gazed at Relena's sleeping form; an inconsolable expression washed his entire feature. "I failed her. I failed all of you. A complete failure. I was acting on my personal judgment. I was… a failure." He closed his eyes, resting back against his pillows. "What was my sentence?"

"There was no sentence," Duo barked as quiet as possible so he would not wake up Relena. "Fuck, Heero, don't be stupid! If it wasn't for your order for the rest of the squad to hold back behind us, dozens of our best field agents would have died! You just took all the blames by all yourself, like usual, you fucking bastard! I don't like where this self-loathing go – "

"I miscalculated and it produced a bigger casualty – a failed ambush. I was at the responsibility that the threat now officially, albeit secretively, preceded."

"How could you come to this ridiculous denouement when even Une herself didn't know we were sabotaged – "

"I was your commander. I should have looked at situations more thoroughly and take absolute precautions before executing any infiltrating missions. I'm sorry."

"Damn it, Yuy, I ain't hearing this nonsense shit anymore – "

"Enough!"

Their raising voice had awakened Relena. The young politician glared at the two Preventer agents with tantrum raged in her eyes; directed specifically to the young Preventer commander in the hospital bed.

"Duo – would you please be so kind as to leave me and Heero alone for a moment?" Relena took a deep breath. Duo glowered at Heero who returned the threatening glare evenly, never losing his cool and calm composure. Finally, Duo turned away; his arms crossed firmly against his chest. Relena waited until the door closed before occupying the empty plastic chair.

"You're human, Heero," said Relena to the point, not bothering with useless chatter. She tried to peek into the deep blue eyes; searching for reasoning and emotions within it. "How come you go back to this point again? Does everything we share together until now mean nothing to you? Talk, please, talk to me, Heero. Talk. I need you to talk to make me understand. You said you're in the process, to be a whole person; that I'm the one who's guiding you. If it's really so, then where did I go wrong? Please, tell me. What did I do wrong?"

Heero cast his gaze onto his lap, looking solemn. "You did no wrong to me, Relena. I am like a fish out of water… I have always been. I am aware of that, but I do fully understand that fighting is the only thing I am good at. I cannot even keep my own vow not to kill again… not while the only thing I can offer to this world is my ability to fight and thus to kill. The circle is always repeated. It is so contradictory. We fight in the name of peace, but we do crimes and injustices with executing those who or what threatens that peace. Where did human go wrong, Relena? This kind of rumination will not leave my mind."

Relena grabbed Heero's hand, silently requesting for eye contact with the injured man. "I may not be able to give you the right answer for I myself is just a mere human, Heero. But I can offer you my rumination. Human went wrong since power dwelled into them. When people possess power, they forget the land their feet stand on, Heero, because rationality can't win the peculiar feeling of dominance once you've got it in your hand. They will only yearn for it more and more.

"But you, with so much power you bear in yourself – no, it had never crossed your mind, the slightest intention to abuse that power. It's because you, Heero Yuy, have the most virtuous heart I've ever seen. Despite how you always said that you're stained with the blood of war – don't deny it," Relena swung her finger warningly when Heero opened his mouth, "remember how much you came to my rescue whenever the situation called. Remember how you have never failed to fix things, things that make us strive forward. Heero, all of us sinned. All of us have our own fair share of bad things we did, past or present. But why should it make you eviler? Why being a priest should make you less evil? No.

"You said yourself fighting is the only thing you're good at. And look where that fight leads to – another additional foundation of peace in our fragile and ramshackle world. You protect me. You protect your friends. You protect your subordinates. You protect us. You're both our weapons and shield, but even weapons need their own shield. So please, Heero, let us be your shield. Would you please open your heart and mind, and accept us? Let us into your life. Let us see you. Let us understand you. Let us make clear that you're not alone, that you have me and the others besides and behind you."

The Prussian blue eyes shone with relief and gratitude. He then threw his glance to the rising sun out the window. "The sun seems to agree with us."

Relena chuckled at his yet another whimsical analogy and asked eagerly, "Why is it?"

Heero offered one of his rare, genuine smiles as his deep voice penetrated through Relena's heart, "It shines from the warmth of human lives."

Relena quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you're fixed to theories."

There was a sly smirk. "I am an enigma."

Relena blinked and slapped a hand behind Heero's head playfully. "I will suit with myself about that, thank you!"

"… But I learned from the best." The young man deadpanned.

"Heero Yuy!" Relena groaned, and Heero let out a soft laugh before stopped suddenly, grimacing painfully. Relena's face quickly paled, "Oh God, are you alright? I should call the nurse!"

"Not necessary," Heero shook his head. "Now I know I should not choose again to be shot on the stomach. It disrupts my process," he devised with a serious look.

"What does that even mean?"

"Emotions are tiring, but this is more tiring. I don't like being disrupted."

"And I don't like being left out! This is a direct order, Commander. You and Commander Une are to report to me directly."

"This conversation is getting jumpy," Heero decided with a hint of amusement in his voice. "But your orders are clear. Understood, Vice Minister."

"You really are an enigma," Relena whined, proceeding to push the button above Heero's bed to call a nurse.