When I was calmed down somewhat they took me in the bedroom. I was leaning against Kakuzu's chest and Hidan had his head on my lap. "Feeling any better babe." "No."

Hidan scowled and I returned the gesture, "What went wrong?" "I don't fucking know!" Kakuzu shook his head, "It doesn't make any sense, we've been using that all this time and it never failed before."

I glanced up at him, "Why now?" "I don't know and we may not found out, but let's focus on more important matters." I frowned and started to cry, "NO! Don't fucking cry, we're as upset as you are!" "LIKE HELL! You have no idea how this is making me feel!"

I jumped up and almost made it out the door until Kakuzu caught me in a hug, "Then tell us."

I just let it out, "I'm scared alright! I don't know anything about babies and I don't like them either, they're smelly, messy, and loud. A baby will change everything! I'll get fat, not get my figure back, and then you two won't love me anymore and leave me!"

I was sobbing nonstop and felt Kakuzu stroking my hair. I felt another hand on my back and knew it was Hidan, "A baby isn't going to change how we fucking feel about you and we would NEVER fucking leave you alone. I don't like them either but you ARE pregnant and going to get fat!" "Hidan!"

Kakuzu was glaring at him but murmured softly, "We won't allow you to let yourself go and besides, we've talked about this before and its fine." I stopped in mid-cry and stared at him, "What?" He sighed, "There's nothing we can do about it so we'll just have to make do."

I glared at him, "There's abortion, but I take it that's too expensive right?" "…..." "Typical."

Hidan tried not to smirk from my accusation and I sniffed, "Do you actually want to keep it then?" Hidan shrugged with a nod and Kakuzu muttered, "Yes."

"It'll be ok babe, look; the kid will have a mom, two dads and let's see…..six fucking uncles." I actually started laughing, "No pun intended?" They joined me in the moment.

That seemed to lighten the mood a little. "Come on, everyone else needs to know unless Sasori already told them." We gathered everyone in the living room and had to go find Zetsu to break the news.

Sasori hadn't told anyone yet so we let him break the ice so to speak. When he made the announcement it wasn't like I expected; silence, awkward glances at me, and disproval looks. It was TOTALLY opposite.

Tobi and Deidara attacked me with hugs, "Tobi so happy for Olivee!" "It's about time you got pregnant un!"

"Huh?" I was confused as hell and Hidan made it worse, "Guess what, the rest of you lot are going to be the fucking uncles." "Tobi going to be an uncle!" Only Itachi seemed to catch Hidan's joke, "That's an accurate description Hidan."

Kisame leaned over and ruffled my hair, "I knew you get knocked up at some point." I glared at him but he just smiled with all those sharp teeth shining, "I didn't mean anything by it. I'm actually looking forward to it."

"Really Kisame?" Itachi never expected him to say that, "Yes I'm serious, and having a baby around might be a nice change of pace."

I snorted, "Keep thinking that Kisame.""Olivee? Will you tell Tobi how you couldn't get pregnant again?" "Yeah, I haven't heard all the details un!"

I sighed, "Ok, here goes."

As you know, Kakuzu and Hidan have no intentions of using protection by any means (not surprising). Well, many years before they met me, they overheard some ninja talking about some certain whores a man owns that never have to worry about getting pregnant.

They found it interesting and invested; the man who owned the whorehouse developed a jutsu so his 'children' would be sterile and not risk pregnancies, (bad for business).

They thought it would be useful at some point and made the man show them. Forced/beat him to do it and then secretly observed to insure it was the real deal on some random whore; which it did work. The only thing, is that they have to do it once every month; the effects wear off due to PMS cycle.

Well, it's a good thing they did find the jutsu, so when they met and became lovers with me, they do this jutsu on me once a month, so they don't have to worry about me getting pregnant and not wear protection. Even if they didn't cast it on me anymore, my body will be back to normal and I could have children.

To make it short and sweet, let's call it a birth control jutsu.

"Wow." That's convenient un?" "What went wrong Olivee? Did they forget to do it?" I shrugged, "No they did it, but we have no clue why it didn't work this time." Safe to say, we were all stumped and just left it alone. I hope to find out at some point though.

Sasori broke the silence and smirked, "I hate to break this to you, but for the next nine months I'm going to be your physician." I grinned, "I wouldn't have it any other way, but I don't need any more physicals."

Hidan's head snapped up, "What fucking physicals?" Kakuzu was staring questionably at him too, "Sasori?" He just picked up his clipboard and muttered, "Excuse me." He quickly disappeared around the corner and Hidan went straight after him. "Sasori, I want to have a fucking talk with you!"

Kakuzu just sighed and shook his head, "It never fails." "SHIT!" "What's wrong un?" I pointed at Zetsu, "HIM!" Poor Zetsu was confused and tilted his head, "Is something the matter?" "Olivee?"

"ZETSU WILL EAT THE BABY!"

They all burst out laughing except for Zetsu, who looked insulted, "I wouldn't fucking do that!" Tobi ran over and hugged him, "Tobi knows his sempai would be nice to Olivee's baby." "Thanks Tobi."

That sort of eased my mind but, "Kakuzu?" "Yes." "What do we do when the baby comes? Will there be enough room?" Deidara to the rescue, "It's simple, when the time comes Tobi can go live with Zetsu. The room will be just you and the baby un."

Zetsu glanced at Tobi nervously, "Is that alright with you Tobi?" Zetsu has his own apartment for a reason; due to his meals that usually consists of something alive. Tobi nodded, "It's ok with Tobi, but sempai has to promise him something." "Anything."

He leaned closer and whispered, "Don't eat anything icky when Tobi's in the same room." "Fine. I don't want to scar you for life." The matter seemed to be settled somewhat and seems it's going to work out. This might not be so bad after all.

*A few weeks later*

"Come on, go tell him." I was nervous as hell; Sasori finally did a DNA thing on me to see who the father is.

I shouldn't be nervous, but I know one of them is going to be disappointed; they both been pretty excited about the whole baby thing for some reason. Probably making plans on what to do with it down the road: it's going to be smart, a shinobi, Hidan or Kakuzu junior, etc.

I brought my two lovers' in the kitchen and fiddled with my drink and announced calmly, "You're the father Hidan."

He just smirked and left the room; that's an interesting reaction. I held Kakuzu's hand and tried to give him a comforting smile. I could tell he was a little disappointed. "Are you ok?" "I'm fine."

I went over and sat on his lap, "Don't worry…" I wasn't really sure what to say, "I'm fine Olivia. When you have another one at some point, it'll be mine for sure." I smirked, "Who said I'm having another one?" He kissed me, "It's only fair." I attacked him with a lip lock until,

"I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING DADDY!"

Kakuzu and I just made faces, "Was that a good or bad yell?" He sighed, "There's no telling with him."

To be continued:

Next time: she's four months preg^-^ HORMONE FUN