Just another Nightmare
I walked on stage breathing heavily and feeling my cheeks begin to heat up and I could feel sweat begin to form on my forehead. I could hear every single fan out in the audience screaming my name, the spotlight was directly on me and followed me like a lost puppy everywhere I went. 'Only if dad was here to see me now' I thought to myself and smiled at my fans.
I tightened my hand on the microphone and swallowed before I could open my lips.
"Are You excited? I'm excited it is such an honor to be performing here in front of you. I hope you enjoy!" I yelled to the crowd and nodded my head to the guitarist letting him k now to start.
'I smell heartbreak on my hands I've done you wrong, I regret it I need to do something Please bathe me now, wash me clean I wake up the morning after You deserve forever, Please bathe me now, wash me clean Please bathe me now, wash me clean Bathe me now, wash me clean
I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand
I see your outline in my bed
In the same spot I watched him rest her head
I write this song, try to forget it
I feel this emptiness in my chest
It feels surreal, but I'm feeling stressed
I fucked up for nothing
Now I gotta just tell someone,
Tell someone what I've done
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Oh, no, like gasoline
You call but I don't answer
And I can't look you in the eye,
No matter how hard I try
not a girl looking for better
But as long as you're still here,
Imma try to keep you near
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Just set my heart on fire, just like
I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks as I looked back at the crowd and watched as the started to jump and down. Screaming my name the started to scream louder and louder, I looked back stage and saw Emily crying and Hodge holding onto her, I smiled at both of them until I looked past them and saw the Jonathan standing with Magnus who was tearing up.
I looked back at the crowd and waved at everyone and bowed. "Thank you Los Angeles!"
I walked slowly off the stage trying to keep calm, which failed when Emily hugs me and we started twirling and squealing. As I hug Emily I look back at Jonathan and Magnus who are both turned away and talking to other people, something about them not looking at me made me angry for some reason.
"Come on let's go back to wardrobe and get you changed for the party!" Emily said and pulled me by the arm back to the dressing room. I walked by several other singers and other bands that congratulated me, but I didn't stay and talk to them I felt like I was running for some reason. I looked behind me and saw Magnus following behind us he wiggled his fingers and smiled at me, I looked back in front of me and made it to my dressing room.
Emily opened the door and pushed me through, I sat down in my chair and waited for Emily. But instead I got the another voice I was hoping to avoid. "You dear Clarissa, you are a great magic trick. You're there one minute and poof you're gone the next. Houdini must be very proud of you little biscuit." Magnus said and started to put eye shadow on my eyelid.
"Magnus you don't understand, I need a new start." I answered.
"No sweetheart, needing a new start is you telling everyone you're leaving not just disappearing into thin air, are you crazy? Do you know what pain you put everyone through; the band broke up so everyone could search for you. Jonathan thought you were dead, the police couldn't find you, hell we even hired a private investigator and he couldn't find shit." Magnus snapped at me which scarred me and made me feel guilty.
"I had to leave." I whispered back.
"I know you needed to get away from Jace, I know all that happened. But sweetheart you don't understand the panic you put your brother in, he came back to Chicago and found an empty house and open garage door and you studio was sold." Magnus said finishing my make up and started on my hair.
"I get it!" I snapped back at him. "I understand that I cause pain, It was the right thing to do at the time for me, and nothing any of you can say will change my mind!" I yelled back and felt tears begin to form in the corner of me eyes.
Emily entered the room looking at Magnus and then at me with sadness in her eyes. "Mr. Bane there is a Jace waiting for you by the stage." She said and looked at Magnus; I widened my eyes and felt goose bumps up my arm.
"You told him I was here?" I asked starring at Magnus.
"No he's performing, they sent my office the list of performers and I saw your name and called Jonathan. Next thing we knew all three of us were in LA waiting to see you perform." Magnus said and gave Emily the hair brush.
"Clary I'm glad you are happy." Was all that he said and then he was gone, I watched the door close behind him before I sank back into my chair.
"Clary what was all that about?" Emily asked while starting on my hair.
"My past is starting to catch up with me." I said and starred at my reflection while Emily detangled my curls.
Once Emily was done my hair she pulled out another beautiful dress, but instead of mid thigh dress it was a bright red floor gown. I pulled on the dress and then my shoes, I didn't even want to look at my reflection I just wanted to leave this place and get as far away from Magnus and Jonathan as I could.