Two weeks ago…

"Bella I don't want to leave you here alone." Edward growled

"Really Edward I'm fine! I'm going to stay home and not move. I swear!" It was so hard to convince Edward he was wrong.

"Two days without you are going to be hard." He slowly moved his hand from my hand and up my arm until he reaches my collarbone and then landed a sweet kiss my on neck. I knew this was going to be hard. I hated him leaving me, but at the same time I needed him to leave.

"Bella.... what are you up to?" Oh crap he had figured out what I was doing… What was I going to do?

"Love, I know you are up to something. Maybe I should call Alice in here to find out, unless you want to tell me. Your choice." Edward was already at the door slowly opening it to show how he was about to call out Alice. All he had to do was whisper her name or even breathe out her name and she would be there.

"Fine! I wanted you to go hunting for two days so that I could spend sometime alone thinking about myself and if I want to go to college or even change." What a lie! I knew I didn't want to go to college, only because I wanted to be a vampire.

Quickly he grabbed me and I was on my back on the bed. I couldn't help but smile, when he looked at me with his crooked smile. Oh I love that smile. He kissed me so passionately and I knew I had fooled him. His hands were going on my body. I could his hands going up my back and then he stopped. Like always he stopped… but this time he put his hand up my shirt. He ran his fingers up and down my back. I tried so hard to not make any more movement, because if I did maybe he would stop. Kissing him on his lip wasn't enough, and suddenly my shirt was off me and I was only in my jeans and bra. What is Edward doing? This isn't him. I quickly unbutton his shirt, still with our lips connected. When I had his shirt off I knew that he would have noticed. He moved to kiss my neck and down to my collarbone and shockingly to my chest where he met my bra. He lifted me up and unclasped my bra allowing it to fall. I had never been his exposed to Edward and I wanted more. He kisses me in-between my breast and stopped. He moved his hand over my nipples and I moaned. I couldn't open my eyes. I wanted to feel more. When I finally opened my eyes he was looking at my breast. Now I was embarrassed and was stiff. He looked at me and frowned.

"Bella I am so sorry. I can't believe I just did that to you." Edward looked so guilty and he picked up my shirt and bra and handed them to me. It also looked like he wanted to cry.

"Edward, it isn't your fault." I knew that this wouldn't work.

"NO! It is!" Edward stood up and punched the wall.

"Edward stop! Don't blame yourself. I was just as much as my fault." Now I was scared. Edward had never punched a wall or took that kind of action.

"Sorry… you made me so happy and I guess I lost control. Bella you are my world and I can't handle how you make me feel." He grabbed my waist and look into my eyes I knew he was right. He did lose control, but he was gentle when he did. Even though he was scared of killing me he was still as gentle as he was when he would kiss me.

"Ok Edward. Are you ok now?"

"Yes, love."

"It's probably a good idea for you to take off. I'll see you in 2 days." He must know that I'm not acting myself. I hated when he left, and having him gone for an hour drove me crazy and now for 2 days! Deep inside I knew he didn't believe me and maybe the reason for him going along with this was probably that he wanted me to be happy. I also think he knew I wouldn't do anything, and that attack he made on my body was a way to ensure I wouldn't go and see Jacob. Guess what… it worked.

We walked downstairs were everyone was waiting. Edward gave me a passionate kiss, and in the background I heard Emmett.

"Go Edward! Grab her ass!" Edward growled back to him ready to attack him, but I took his face and kissed him again.

"I love you Edward" He opened his eyes as if he forgot and smiled.

"I love you too Bella."

I was happy that I had the Cullen's home to myself. Alice convinced Charlie to let me stay with "the girls" while "the boys" left to hike for 2 days. Alice could make Charlie say yes to anything, because secretly Charlie would do anything for Alice, because of her beauty. 2 days at the home wasn't normal. Normally I would stay at least 3 days, but I had to cut my stay to the minimum without Edward. I also wanted to go home as fast I could, and to try to spend the last two weeks of me being single without Edward if he could. I had a plan that would mean I need to spend as much time alone without anyone knowing without seeming unusual. I was praying Alice wouldn't see what I was doing. I knew that if I didn't change my mind Alice wouldn't be alerted. She only checks on my future if something changes or if something special is happening. Now it was 10pm… normally I would go to bed and have Edward sing my lullaby, but right now I was hoping into my car to drive a 3 hour drive to somewhere I would never expect to go.