We ran, laughing and smiling, and for perhaps the first time since I had begun this cursed existence, I was happy. We traveled through places I had never seen before, places with little or no human life to worry about. Time escaped my notice.
Only one thing marred this happiness, the growing knowledge that I would soon have to feed. I had gone too long as it was, I doubted I would be able to control myself should I catch that scent…
She looked at me as we stopped running; not because we were tired, but because there seemed to be some quiet kind of joy to walking together in comfortable silence. She regarded me seriously, then nodded as if she had made some sort of decision.
"You need to feed." She said at last, and I cringed. "We will have to pass near humans to reach our home, Jasper. It would be bad for our family if you were to lose control there."
"What about you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"I can wait." She said simply. "Unless you would prefer to hunt together." She added as the thought came to her, but she seemed uncomfortable with the idea.
"I can wait." I said, though I knew I could resist, at this point, only as long as I did not have to smell any humans. Did she know that as well? What would she think of me?
But she was my kind. She, too, fed as I did. Did she have the same reluctance? Or had she simply fed more recently?
She shook her head. "If you do not feed now, there may be an accident if I cannot hold you back, Jasper." The thought of her trying to keep me from losing my control was painful; who knew what I would do to anyone who stood between me and my prey. I could not put her in such danger. I would not.
I would not do anything to hurt her. "I will hunt tonight." I said, trying to keep the resignation out of my voice. "I wouldn't want to cause trouble for your family."
"Our family." She replied, her stern tone undermined by the mischievous twinkle in her eyes and the merriment of her emotions. "I know you don't like it, Jasper." She said solemnly, her mood sobering. "But it would be worse if you were to loose control so close to home."
I nodded, she was right about that. The panic and terror that would be caused by a vampire running rampant, slaughtering humans left and right, not to mention if the Volturi became involved-" I shuddered as I broke off the thought.
It hurt to leave her that night, even though I knew she would be waiting when I came back. I didn't want to leave her, to leave that buoyant disposition behind and head into the darkness, and towards some victim whose life I would end tonight.
I hunted quickly, efficiently, blocking out the terror and fear and pain and cries until after, and fighting to get a handle on these emotions before I reached her. To spread the misery I was struggling against to her, to gentle, sweet, cheerful Alice. I would not expose her to such a thing.
She was waiting for my return, still and quiet, and nearly threw her arms around me as I came to stand before her. I flinched. How could she love anyone capable of doing what I had just done with such ruthless efficiency?
That aside, I was scarcely used to being able to trust someone, to have someone care so much for me, to care so much for someone else. This proof that she too cared was too much at the moment. I could not handle it.
She seemed to sense my unease, though, and stopped. "Not ready for that yet, I see." She said softly, smiling as if I hadn't just rejected her act of affection. As if it were perfectly acceptable for me to be reluctant, though we already loved and trusted each other more deeply than I could have ever imagined possible.
We continued on our way, running through the night towards our destination. I focused my thoughts on what lay ahead in a desperate attempt to drown out the cries that still echoed in my mind, the terror and despair of my latest victim.
We reached the city shortly before noon, and we stopped shortly before passing near it. "Ready?" She asked.
I nodded, and braced myself. Not breathing certainly seemed prudent, whether I had fed recently or not; the smell had always been agonizingly enticing for me, the depression to come never enough of a threat to keep me from giving in if I wasn't careful.
Careful meaning that if it had been more than a couple days, I didn't breathe around them. Careful meaning that one single, solitary drop of blood would be enough to push me over the edge and into a frenzy that focused on nothing save the thrill and the scent and the taste. I shivered, this time at the memory of my fangs sinking into my prey's throat. The heat of the blood, the sweetness of it, set all my senses into the focus of the hunter.
I shuddered as the inevitable memory of the emotions of my victims flashed through my mind, and Alice made as if to lay a hand on my shoulder. "I'll be there, Jasper. You'll be okay."
I took a deep breath to calm myself, and nodded. Then I ceased breathing altogether, and we walked past the city.
The house, if it could be called a house, was grand. It was large, as if for a big family, but well kept and ordered, as if no one actually lived there. Present was the scent of my kind; her family was like us. The scent was somehow different, though, from what I was accustomed to, though I could not fathom why.
I puzzled over this as she led me through the yard and to the front porch. She grinned at me, as gleeful as if someone had just handed her the world. "Should we knock?" She asked innocently.
I hesitated as I tried to calm my nerves. This was her family, everything would be fine. "If they're family…" I said.
She beamed at me. "No need to knock, then." She threw open the door. "We're home!" She declared, as she walked in, I following in her footsteps.
I was not prepared for the welcome we received. Five vampires appeared as if from nowhere, their faces fierce, their eyes intense, their stances defensive.
Their alarm and fear hit me, and I nearly staggered as it was accompanied by the aggression and tension these vampires radiated. I cringed as the emotions hit me in waves from five different places.
I was only slightly aware of Alice's reactions as I struggled with my own reactions and those of these strangers. Alice threw her arms around a tense woman, the older looking of the two, and a growl came from one of the males, a growl that was not accompanied by any action because the oldest male, the blond, had given the other a look, one that plainly said to wait. He was the leader, then.
Alice let go of the startled woman and skipped over to the leader, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Hi mom, Hi dad." She said as she did so. She turned to the male who had been ready to attack her. "Edward, my favorite brother!" She squealed. "Not that I don't absolutely adore you, too Emmett." She said to the other male. "And not to slight you, Rosalie." She added, addressing the other female, the blond. She skipped through the house, oblivious to the fact that we weren't welcome here. "And here's my room!" I heard her exclaim. "Just as I saw it, Jazz!" She squealed, and I could feel the happiness come rolling off of her.
It was too much at once, really. Fear, concern, aggression, curiosity, the tension, the sheer joy and delight, along with my own mistrust, anxiety, and what was quickly becoming panic, never mind the guilt and despair that was always ready to overcome me if I let my guard down: all these emotions hit me at once through the calm I had been trying to project to keep things from exploding.
I groaned and slumped backwards, away from these vampires, aware of nothing but the pain as I processed too many varied emotions too strongly at once. Concern sprang up, making things worse, and I pressed my hands against my face in an effort to block everything out.
"Jasper!" She was beside me in a second, helping me up, opening the door, ordering the others to "Stay there!" as she led me outside and to a chair on the porch. I sank into it almost numbly, and sat with my head in my hands.
The distance helped with the others, and she seemed to be trying to control herself, and I became aware enough to realize I was shaking, and that she was worried, even terrified, for me.
Concern, though controlled, increased, and I realized one of them had come outside. I heard him ask softly if he could help.
"I'm fine." I said, my voice steady from long years of practice. "I just needed a minute."
"I'm so sorry, Jazz." Alice was saying, and I felt her guilt. "I didn't even think, I didn't see anything, I should have-"
I lifted a trembling hand to stop her. "It happens." I said. "I probably would have been fine if I hadn't been trying to calm everyone in the house."
"Still." She insisted, determined to feel bad. "I never even thought about how they would react. I never even thought about how I would act. It was impulsive, and foolish. It's the same thing I did to you."
What could I say? Though her sorrow made me ache, I couldn't think clearly enough to come up with a reason that she was wrong. "I'm glad you did." I said finally, and she knew I was referring to our meeting.
"Are you certain there is nothing I can do?" The male asked, and I shook my head. "I am a doctor." He added reassuringly. It felt weird to have someone I didn't even know worried about me like this. I managed an insincere smile that he must have seen, because he then turned his attentions to Alice. "Have we met?" He asked her politely. He was a bit alarmed, I realized, but mostly curious.
I could hear her smile. "We have now." She said. "I'm Alice, and this is Jasper. We're your newest family members." She announced, and I nearly choked. It wasn't our family, it wasn't even her family. They didn't even know her. "This is Carlisle, by the way, Jasper." She told me. "And he really is a doctor." I couldn't imagine how a vampire could manage as a doctor. I couldn't even manage as much of anything.
"Pardon," He, Carlisle, said, still so politely, "how did you know that?"
"I saw it." She said brightly, explaining to him what she had recently told me; about her gift, and how it had led her to me, and us here.
"I see." He said when she had finished. "Welcome to the family, then, Alice. And Jasper." He added, turning to me. "When you're both ready, we can introduce you to the rest of the family." He chuckled softly. "I must admit, you did startle us."
"Sorry." Said Alice, feeling just a little sheepish, though not very. She turned to me. "We can wait as long as you need to, Jasper."
I took a deep breath, and sat up straight. "I'm ready now." I said, though in truth I was the farthest thing from it. I wondered what I had gotten myself into, but knew I would have done it all over again simply because she had been the one leading.
To make the family more at ease, Carlisle handled the rest of the introductions. Esme was Doctor Cullen's wife, the woman Alice had hugged. Rosalie and Emmett were also married, the other male, the one who had growled at my Alice, was Edward.
He looked at me as I reflected on that, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "Edward reads thoughts." Alice leaned in and whispered, and I watched as he shot her an inquisitive glance before nodding in understanding. He must have found an explanation in her thoughts.
"I did." He said to me. It was disconcerting to realize that he could read my every thought, that he would be privy to every thing that went through my mind. That was about as pleasant as picking up on the every emotion of those around you, I reckoned. He inclined his head as if agreeing with me.
Rosalie was irritated, I realized, angry even. I turned to study her, and her eyes spoke clearly; she did not want us here. She was afraid, too; afraid of what trouble we might cause for her and her family.
The others were mostly bemused, but already entranced with Alice. They would let us stay, if only for her sake.
The corner of Edward's mouth twitched, and I knew I was right. It hardly mattered, though, as long as I was with her. I wondered what I would do without her. Edward rolled his eyes.
Disclaimer: I am not the author of the Twilight Series, therefore these characters and such else do not belong to me. If I were and they did I would be getting richer off of this story rather than posting it here.