Chapter 2
I ultimately agreed and accepted that I no longer could work. When I went to Dr. Shawer he had discovered the baby was in mild distress and that I had developed a condition where if I became stressed I would most defiantly go into early labor and he didn't want that to happen, Dr. Shawer wanted me to keep the baby in as long as possible so it would be developed better. So over the next few weeks I tried a few things to pass the time.
First I tried Crocheting and by the second day of Ella's patient teaching I just couldn't get it, so I scrapped that idea. Second I tried Knitting, again Ella came up to the apartment and sat with me telling me each step in the process and coached me but I got so frustrated I burst into tears. My third attempt was Cross Stitching. Poor Ella why she didn't just run away ill never know but she stuck right in there with me for the long haul. She knew I was feeling bad about not being able to see the team as much so she went and bought me some flowy black tops and had stitched RangeMan on them so id still feel like part of the team.
Ella went out to the mall and brought back two identical little brown bears to cross stitch. The bear was holding alphabet blocks and I felt it would be just perfect for the baby's room. Again she sat down on the couch, placed the hoop onto the fabric, threaded my needle, and handed it to me. She showed me each stitch. Over the few days we sat there and did it Ella's came out all smooth and neat and you could tell that hers was a bear with blocks, Mine well let's just say I broke into tears because this was the third thing I had tried and failed at . I cried so much and couldn't be comforted that Ella got worried about my condition that she called down on to five and had to have Ranger come up and hold me till I stopped. So strike crocheting, knitting, and cross stitching off the list.
Getting tired day after day of watching Ranger leave for work and coming back late I decided I wasn't going to be locked away anymore. I wasn't on bed rest; I could move and be mobile. I walked over to the table and unhooked my computer and carried it with me to the elevator where I got off on the fifth floor where I sat in the conference room and watched the going on's of the command center. I mostly searched the web for baby stuff and sometimes when the men saw me in there they would stop a few minutes and chat with me. It felt great to be around living people again.
After a week of sitting down on five I got to watching the men. I watched how they laughed with each other, shook hands in that weird fist bumping way. Each guy was different in how they walked and carried themselves soon it wasn't the men that I knew but like characters in a story. This thought gave me an idea on something I could do that may just help me pass time till I give birth. Clicking on my computers notebook I typed my first line.
The Merry Men By Stephanie Manoso
Over the next few weeks I had wrote several "Stories" of many different things, mainly of RangeMan because it was all I knew. I was really into writing and really enjoyed it. I looked around on the web about stories and writing and found a small web board that you could join and post your stories for others to read. I did and posted some of the ones I wrote on the Men. Hours later I got messages back that others had read and left comments. When I went to the board I read all of them and smiled because they really liked them. I wrote more and more and then as I got more experienced I began a story that was bolder than the ones I wrote of the men this one was of Ranger and Me, but of course I changed the names. When I posted I couldn't wait till I got comments back. I checked and saw I had a couple and went to go read them. When I did my heart fell into my feet and I began to cry. They hated it.
All my hard work and it was hated. I went and deleted my story right away and closed down my lap top, and cried. I was a failure; I failed in everything I had tried. So for the next day I thought about those words and went into a depression and I also thought about all the things I can't do and that's why I walked out of RangeMan and got the tracker pulled and turned off the GPS.