Um, just a little background information: Jason Lock is married to Cas. Deal with it.

I woke up on the couch, stiff and uncomfortable.

"I came home and you were asleep," Aliyah said from the kitchen table when I got up. She and Hayden were playing a card game. They sat across from each other, Hayden with a straight face and Aliyah grinning. "You kept making weird sounds so I made him move you." she pointed to Hayden.

I groaned as I cracked my back. "Thanks, Al," I said sarcastically.

"Oh, anything for you Lily," she replied back with a smirk.

I passed by the siblings while I went into the kitchen to get myself breakfast. I poured myself a cup of coffee and looked into the pantry.

"Mom and Deadbolt are out food shopping. There's nothing good to eat," Aliyah said.

"Oh," I mumbled.

Morpheus had told me about Lock's nickname. It hadn't been used for years but we're trying to bring it back. We were the only ones to still say it-the three of us weren't doing such a great job.

I went back to the table and sat at the end of the table, between the two. I leaned to each side, looking at their cards.

I put my head in my arms and yawned.

"Still tired?" Hayden inquired.

I nodded and looked up. "I was dreaming all night." I checked the clock. "And afternoon, apparently."

Aliyah laughed. "Yeah, you kept saying 'Oh, my God!'. Dreaming of a special someone?"

"Yeah, Dad," I answered.

"Ew! Lily, you're having sex dreams about Lock?!" Aliyah yelled.

"No! That's gross. Normal dreams about my real dad."

"Thank God. I was going to say-"

"Aliyah," Hayden said, clearly uncomfortable, "don't say anything."

She rolled her eyes and placed her cards face down on the table.

"Three Queens", then "One King", then "One Ace", and finally "Bullshit".

Aliyah scoffed and took the pile of cards.

About twelve cards later, Hayden won.

While he shuffled the deck, he asked, "What were dreaming about?"

It took me a couple of minutes to put it into words. "I was on a ship with you two and Morpheus and some other people -I couldn't see their faces- and we were going somewhere. Then I was about to be attacked by sentinels but my dad stopped them."

"Interesting," was all Hayden said.

Aliyah thought about it more. "Do you think it was like, a premonition or something?"

Maybe. "No," I answered instead.

"Come on, you said your dad had them, maybe you do too."

"I don't think so."

We didn't discuss it anymore because Cas and Lock came inside.

"Oh, look who's finally up," Cas said.

I smiled a fake smile and took another sip of my cold coffee. It tasted awful and Hayden laughed at my scrunched up face.

"Kids, we're having dinner tonight as a family, I got take-out, so Aliyah, don't go out," Cas said from the kitchen.

"Why would you assume I was going out?" Aliyah asked.

Cas stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "It's a Saturday night, of course you would. Don't think I have no idea what you do."

"What do I do, Ma?" Aliyah tested her mother.

"I happen to know you've been out drinking. You're eighteen and I don't want you in any trouble."

"Mom, why wouldn't you think Lily and I were doing things tonight too?" Hayden asked.

Cas shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like you two stay in a lot."

"Are you saying we don't have lives?" I asked, giving Cas a hard time.

She knew we were only joking around with her but it didn't stop Lock from yelling at us.

"Don't be rude to your mother. You do as she says and don't complain," he growled. Then he added, "Aliyah, I would watch out if I were you. The next party you go to, acting like a slut and getting drunk, you can expect to see me there."

I was surprised he said that, for some reason. Lock was always fed up with Aliyah, but normally he'd just grumble and walk away. He seemed a lot more irritable lately and I didn't know why.

Aliyah mumbled something and stormed down the hall, slamming the door of our shared room.

"You didn't have to be so harsh, Jason," Cas said.

Lock replied back with, "Yes, I did. You know she'll mess up her life if she's always acting so crazy. I don't understand why you let her go out all the time."

"What is this really about Jason? You being a father or losing your job as commander?"

Maybe that was why he's been acting so strange.

I didn't notice when Hayden had gotten up too. I went to his room, knocking once before letting myself was pacing back and forth, his arms crossed over his chest.

I smiled up at him and he stared at me for a moment before turning towards the pictures on his dresser. He picked up one taken years ago, his parents holding him and Aliyah. Hayden smiled toothlessly in Dozer's arms while Aliyah was being cradled by Cas. She was a tiny baby there, probably no more than six months old.

"I don't know why Mom married him. Lock is… I hate him. And you do too, Lily. I know you do."

I nodded. "Yeah," I said quietly.

"Dad was so much better. So much nicer, so gentle… How could she end up with him?"

"You remember your dad?" I asked.

"Yes. I was only four when he died, so I don't remember much. Only bits and pieces." He shook his head. "You weren't even born. And Aliyah was only two. She can't remember anything."

He looked back at me and I felt a pain in my chest when I saw tears in his eyes. I have never seen him so emotional. Hayden almost never talked about his father. When he did, it was always to say how proud he was of him. I know that more than once he had gone to Morpheus to hear about Dozer…

"I wrote all the memories and stories of him down. So over time I won't forget."

I hugged Hayden tightly and a few tears slid down his cheeks. It was strange to see him cry; he was always so controlled. After a minute, he let go of me. "Thanks, Lily."

I smiled sympathetically and left quietly. Across the hall, I walked into my room. Aliyah was on her bed, doing homework and I stood near the mirror, glancing at myself.

"Aliyah?" I asked.

She sighed dramatically. "What, Lily?"

"Do you ever wonder what your dad is like?"

"You mean Jason?" She scoffed. "Definitely. Love him to death," she said, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

I rolled my eyes. Aliyah, Hayden, and I hated Lock more than anything. Why she was now referring him to her father, I wasn't sure. "No. Your real dad?"

She thought for a moment. "I used to. I realized it's a waste of time, really. Like, I know he's dead. Mom will never talk about him and Morpheus is just as helpful. Honestly, I don't know why he tells you everything, Lily." Her voice sounded somewhat irritated.

I didn't respond. Instead I retied my hair in its ponytail and tried to ignore Aliyah's questioning face.

"Why did you want to know?" she finally asked.

I shrugged. "Just wondering, I guess."

"Um, okay?" she said with an attitude.

"God..."

Aliyah slammed her book shut and rolled onto her stomach, glaring at me. "Lily, will you please just shut up?" she snapped. "You can be so annoying sometimes. No wonder your parents left you here."

I felt tears sting in my eyes. I blinked them away. "What the hell is your problem?" I nearly yelled.

"Get out, Lily."

"No," I refused. "You're obviously angry at me, so why don't you just tell me why?"

"You really want to know?"

I nodded.

She stood up and faced me, only a few inches apart from us and said firmly, "I do think about my real father-every day I do. And every time I think of him, I can't stand to look at you."

I was confused. I didn't show that to her. "Why?" I spat.

"If your mom didn't piss off that guy Cypher so much, then he never would have gone berserk and killed everyone. I blame your parents for my dad's death and that means I blame you too."

"That isn't fair Aliyah. You can't blame me for anything. My parents-"

"Your parents are dead too, Lily. I know you don't think they are, but they are not alive."

"Morpheus thinks-"

"It doesn't matter what Morpheus thinks. He would never dare insult 'The One' or anyone he was close to..." I shook my head. Aliyah crossed her arms. "Of course he would tell you anything you wanted to hear. You know it, Lily, don't even think otherwise."

"You're lying," I said, trying to convince myself everything Aliyah said was a lie.

We both ignored Cas when she yelled from the kitchen, "Kids, come on!"

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. "Morpheus adores you-just like every other damn person in Zion. They'd would never hurt your feelings."

I pushed her away from me and ran towards the door, tears making it impossible for me to see.

I swung the door open and ran out, only to hit into Hayden's chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around me protectively as he asked Aliyah and me what happened.

She didn't answer and neither did I; we had made a silent agreement in that moment to keep it to ourselves.

Aliyah brushed past us as her mother called again.

Hayden and I arrived at the dinner table as Lock had just begun his second serving of spaghetti.

Hayden kept an arm around my waist and pulled my chair out for me. Usually, I sat next to Aliyah, but now she was next to her mother, directly across from me, and Cas holding hands with Lock, who was sitting at the end of the table. Hayden took his place at the opposite side.

"Why are you two so late? I sent Hayden to your room to get you, not delay you, Lily," she teased lightly.

Tears were still flowing from my eyes and I was able to hide them by letting my hair down.

"We were... Busy," Hayden said, understanding my pact with Aliyah.

"Don't tell me you two are back together again. That was too damn disturbing," Lock said coarsely.

"Jason," Cas warned. She did however, glance at Hayden and me, waiting for one of us to answer Lock.

"No. We aren't together."

"Good," Lock said. "It's illegal for the two of you in some places. It just isn't right anyways."

Cas had gotten up to start cleaning the kitchen.

"You know, Hayden, you really should start looking for your own apartment," Lock said, leaning across the table. "You're twenty one; it's about time you started something with your life."

Hayden narrowed his eyes.

"I guess it would look too suspicious if we saw Lily going out every night to screw you though, wouldn't it?"

Hayden had stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over in the process. He whipped his cup toward Lock, deliberately missing him by a few inches. Aliyah had gasped, but I knew it was coming. I still shivered as I heard the shattering glass.

"Shut up and leave me alone," he growled.

Cas had come back, a dishtowel in hand, watching the two men's stare down, too shocked to do anything.

I left the small house quickly, taking my wallet on the stool by the door.

I started sobbing again and I had to stop walking and steady myself for a moment before moving again.

I knew where I was going, but I wasn't sure if I should have turned back. I went through with my intentions and replayed my conversation with Aliyah in my head until I ordered a beer at the bar.

"I know you aren't twenty," the bartender said when I flashed her my fake ID.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and got off the bar stool, heading toward the exit. "But I'll give it to you anyways," she said. "Anything for the daughter of a friend." Oh, God. She'll probably tell Lock where I was...

"He's not my father," I said angrily. I turned back toward the bartender, realizing it was Rae. She really did mean my father.

"When did you start working here?" I asked her as I came back to the counter.

She checked her watch. "Officially seventy-two minutes ago."

"Well congrats on the new job," I said, noticing my voice sounded dry and raspy.

Rae smiled until she saw my face.

"Lily, you look like shi- uh, crap."

I cleared my throat after taking a sip of beer. "I haven't had a good day," I said. Wasn't that the truth?

"Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked.

A man asked her for a drink. She shushed him and he gave her the finger.

"No. Not really. I kind of just want to forget about it."

I didn't know Rae too well. She was one of the last people to talk to my parents, I know that. I've met her about three times for dinner with her, Morpheus, and Niobe and also at a couple of temple gatherings.

Rae served the man sitting two stools away from me. He was staring, I could feel it, but I ignored him.

Rae came back to me a few minutes later and asked me about my ID.

"Uh, this guy I know- he invited me to a party some older kids were having and gave it to me."

I left out some details-like how it was Hayden that made and gave me the fake and I was fifteen when it happened. Hayden had already drank hard alcohol before with some friends and at other parties and I wasn't too surprised to find out that Aliyah had grown a tolerance to it too.

"Well, it looks real. I would've believed it if I didn't know who you were."

The guy moved next to me and leaned in to whisper, "I know who you are." He paused "You're a 'nobody'."

"What?" I heard myself ask.

"It's all you'll ever be," he said, throwing down a bunch of ones all wadded up.

Rae shook her head. "Roland..."

"Who?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter."

I took the last sip of beer and handed Rae some money.

I started for the door and I didn't stop even when she said, "Don't even try to go after him!"

I started running after the older man until I was in front of him. He stopped for a moment.

"Excuse me," he grumbled as he pushed me out of his way.

"No," I said firmly as I grabbed his arm and swung him around (with much difficulty) to face me.

"Why did you say that to me back in the bar?"

"Only telling the truth."

I scoffed. "You don't know me! Stop acting like you do!" I screamed.

"Just like your mother. Nobody knew her, the cold heart-"

"Stop!" I yelled. He was still talking; I didn't want to listen to it.

"They all think you're so great. You'll never live up to them," he said, disgusted with my parents.

I started running, once again the tears coming back to my eyes.

I hadn't noticed how far I've gone until I sped past the memorial for those who died during the war.

I stopped running and went back to the stone cross. For the first time, the area was completely vacant. I felt somewhat relieved. I walked behind the stone to where a large scroll was, listing hundreds of names. Dad was first -I had to stand on my tip toes to see it-, Mom was second, then came the names I'd heard countless times in stories; Tank, Switch, Apoc, Mouse, Dozer, Cypher, and a sea of names following.

I traced over Cypher's name. 'What did you do that was so awful?' I wondered aloud. Aliyah obviously knew and everyone else but me did too. Why couldn't I know?

I lied down on a bench where somebody had written 'R.I.P. Sister'. I sighed heavily and closed my tired eyes. I hadn't known how long it was before I opened my eyes, maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours. Morpheus had found me and was watching me from a couple feet away.

"What are you doing here, Lily?"

"I don't know," I answered. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I yawned.

"Maybe you should go home," he suggested.

I shook my head. "I don't want to go back home."

"Why is that?"

"Things got a little rough. I just want to take a break."

Morpheus nodded. "Do they know where you are?"

"No."

"Why don't you come home with me and I'll call Cas? We'll take you back in the morning."

I thought for a minute. Aliyah would still be mad at me, there would be that awkward tension between Hayden and Lock, and Cas is probably really worried. "Okay," I agreed shakily.

We walked about a half of a mile to Morpheus's apartment. As he unlocked the door I was already falling asleep on the frame. I felt strong arms pick me up and set me down gently on the couch. I didn't stay up long enough to hear him talk to Cas. Instead I went into dreamland and talked with my father.

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