Same Time, Next Year
A/N: My gentle readers, here's chapter two of this little story. This one's all about Justin, just so you know. But never fear, our favorite brunet will make his appearance next chapter, which I will begin to edit as soon as this is posted and which I hope to post no later than tomorrow night. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Pittsburgh
Justin...
Thursday, August 24th, 2000...Continued...
Justin drove to Daphne's crying the whole way. He was humiliated, angry at himself and at Brian, and most of all heartbroken. He parked the car and even though he knew that Daphne's parents weren't home yet from the charity dinner they were attending, went around towards the back yard and climbed the trellis up to Daphne's bedroom window on the second floor. She still had it unlocked like she usually did when expecting his visit. To his immense relief Daphne herself wasn't in her room. He eased the bedroom door open and heard the shower on in the bathroom directly across her room. It looked like she was getting ready for bed; it was well after 10 P.M. after all. Grateful for having a little more alone time, Justin composed himself with difficulty.
He used Daphne's moist make-up remover wipes that he found on her dresser to soothe his face and eyes. He blew his nose with the lotion enhanced tissues Daphne liked, but he actually hated, thinking that his pathetic appearance needed all the help it could get. He took a be-feathered, be-glittered purple fan from its place of honor in the corner of her dresser mirror, lay down on Daphne's bed and began to frantically fan his face that was still slightly puffy and red from crying.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to re-claim that thing." Daphne said from the doorway, a slight smile on her face, her hair falling around her face in wet ringlets and wearing a plushy-looking robe in a shade of pink so intense it was almost violent.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Justin asked in confusion.
"The fan, Justin, the fan." She chuckled. "You begging your mother to buy me a feathery, glittery, purple fan for my birthday should've been the first clue to your sexual orientation."
"I was five Daph!" Justin exclaimed, completely outraged, until he realized that she was just joking. It looked like she didn't fall for his attempts to compose himself and was trying to make him feel better with humor, although unsuccessfully.
"What happened with Brian, Jus?" She asked quietly, as she lay down on the bed beside him and grabbed his left hand with her right for support.
"I was just a fuck to him, nothing more. I feel so stupid, Daph! When he said that he loved me right as he came I actually believed it..."
He told Daphne what had just happened at the loft and the scene right outside it. He left nothing out - not Brian's expressions, not his tone, not his words. Justin was full of despair and sadness, but for some reason, he was able to recount the events without tears and with a composure he didn't really feel. He talked for half an hour remembering the absolute high of the previous night in minute detail and the absolute low that was the conversation outside the loft less than an hour before. Daphne let him talk without interrupting, even though she has already heard the tale of Justin's "deflowering" three times already and probably knew it by heart. When he was done talking, she caressed his shoulder soothingly with her left hand and quietly asked,
"So, what now?"
"No idea." He answered.
"You could go after him – go to all the bars and clubs that he goes to. Be everywhere he is, so he can't avoid you..." Daphne suggested.
"No way, Daph!" Justin interrupted vehemently. "No fucking way. I've humiliated myself enough in front of him. I cried in front of him, like an immature, weak little faggot! God, what must he think of me?"
"So you cried, so what? It just shows that you are more in touch with your emotions, which doesn't make you immature, weak or a faggot! I take exception to you calling my best friend in the entire world that, by the way, so kindly cease and desist!" She said in a prim tone and playfully slapped his hand, making him laugh for the first time that night. "What do you want, Justin?"
"What do I want? Truthfully?" He asked, looking her in the eyes. Daphne nodded and he continued. "I want him. I want Brian, body and soul. I feel something for him deep down, Daph, I can't explain it... and it's not just because he was my first. It may be unbelievable, impossible, unimaginable, immature, stupid, whatever you or anybody else says, but I am in love with him! Completely..." He ended on a soul-rending sigh.
"Then why does it sound like you are giving up on him, if you are so in love?" Daphne asked.
"Because it doesn't matter. I may be in love with him, but Brian sure as hell isn't in love with me. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me. Besides, he doesn't want me anymore; he made that abundantly clear. To him I'm just some stupid kid that was lucky to have had him for a first fuck. I'm just another trick, just another fuck to him, Daph. I bet you anything that he has already forgotten me..."
"I very much doubt it!" she protested.
"Thanks, Daphne. Really, thanks, but if he hasn't forgotten me by now, he will by the weekend."
"So, don't let him forget about you, like I said..."
"No." Justin interrupted firmly. "I won't stalk him or beg him for another fuck like I did tonight. It was humiliating enough. No, Daph, I won't run after him like some puppy. I'll try to save what little pride I've got left."
"So, what now?"
"Now, I'll get ready for bed. Thanks for letting me crash here tonight, for letting me borrow your car and for listening."
"You are welcome. What are friends for? But I was asking more in general, you know, about the rest of your love life?"
"Well, I am not a fortune teller, but I'm going to do my best to get over Brian Kinney, even though I will never forget August 23rd, 2000 for as long as I live. While I am getting over Brian Kinney I will not go to Liberty Avenue or any of the bars and clubs there because I might see Brian Kinney, which will not be a good thing for my pride, my sanity, not to mention my heart. Once I've sufficiently gotten over Brian Kinney, I will take his advice and try the 'maximum of pleasure, minimum of bullshit' routine..."
"Oh, come on, Justin! Are you really thinking of turning into a promiscuous whore like him?" Daphne was genuinely disgusted.
"Brian Kinney isn't a whore, he just doesn't believe in relationships of any kind other than friendship. And Brian's honest, so I can't fault him for that. I just didn't understand him until it was too late. As for being promiscuous, no, I am not planning to turn into Brian Kinney. I just think that he's right – I am way too young to get into a serious relationship. I am 17 years old, for fuck's sake! I should play the field a bit, figure out what I want first before getting serious with anyone." Justin said, trying to sound as certain as possible, though even to his own ears none of that sounded sincere. "If Brian Kinney wanted me though, I would say fuck it and give him my all, but he doesn't... so, maximum pleasure, minimum bullshit it is, until I know what I want in a guy, in a relationship. I'll be just as honest as Brian Kinney, except I'll be honest from the start. AND I will definitely do repeats, 'cause 'no repeats' is kind of a stupid rule, don't you think?"
"Yeah, especially if the guy is good." Daphne agreed sagely.
"So speaks the virgin." Justin laughed.
"Hey!" She slapped him on the hand again indignantly, then laughed with him. "I just haven't met a guy I want to give it up to, so no making fun of the virgin, please!"
"Speaking of virgins, I think I'll stay away from them." Justin said thoughtfully.
"Why?"
"Daph, did you not see how I reacted to Brian? I definitely don't want some twink falling in love with me after having sex for the first time."
"So speaks the twink." She laughed, then smirked, "By the way, confident much?"
"Daph, Brian Kinney fucked me several times throughout the night, let me stay overnight, than fucked me once again in the morning and said that I almost wore him out. If I wasn't good, Brian Kinney would have gotten rid of me after we did it the first time. So, I know I'm good, OK? I don't know how or why, but after the first time, it's like I knew exactly what he wanted, exactly what to do. It all felt so right, it's like I was designed specifically for his body... God, he was incredible and I felt incredible with him! Maybe it was just because it was my first time, but I really don't think that's the case. I truly don't know if I'll ever feel like that with anyone else, but I'd better stay away from virgins, in case they feel anything remotely like that being with me."
"Don't you want to fall in love someday, Jus?"
"Already did. It may sound melodramatic, but I don't think I'll ever be able to fall in love with anyone else. Not like that, I won't. I just hope that I'll get over Brian Kinney, so that I'll be able to love, just plain love someone else someday."
"Why do you keep saying his name, Justin? I've lost count the number of times you said Brian Kinney. It was at least ten times. And that's not counting the number of times you used just his first name."
Justin got out of bed, stood straight up and put his right hand over his heard and solemnly declared,"I keep saying his name because as of tomorrow morning I resolve to start getting over Brian Kinney - meaning a complete moratorium on talking about, thinking about, mentioning and in all other ways obsessing about his name, his person, his body – oh God, his body! - and the one and only night we spent together. So, I am relishing saying his name now as much as possible. I think I am trying to wear it out, so that tomorrow it'll be easier not to say it anymore. Does that make any kind of sense?"
"Not at all. But if it'll help you, then go ahead..." At Justin's quizzical expression, she urged "Say his name, go on! Shout it, if you must."
Justin looked at her dubiously for a couple of seconds, then he closed his eyes and Brian's face immediately popped up behind his eyelids. He started out somewhat tentatively and quietly, whispering his lover's name softly, "Brian Kinney... Brian Kinney... Brian Kinney..." But as he continued, his voice picked up speed and strength, "Brian Kinney, Brian Kinney, Brian Kinney, Brian Kinney," until it rose into a crescendo. "Brian Kinney, Brian Kinney.." Justin suddenly stopped, took a ragged breath and shouted at the top of his lungs "BRIAN KINNEY!"
"That was ten. Feel better?" Daphne asked gently as Justin opened his eyes.
"Almost." Justin answered, then he closed his eyes again. "Brian Kinney..." he whispered. "OK, now I feel better." Then Justin suddenly laughed and realized that inexplicably he did feel slightly better.
"Really?" She asked concerned.
"No, not really, but I don't really have a choice Daph. Bottom line is he does not want me anymore and I have to move on."
"You also need to get some sleep. We both do – we've got school tomorrow, remember?" Daphne reminded him gently and lightly squeezed his hand.
"Yeah, I remember." He sighed and got up to get ready for bed.
Year One...Pittsburgh...
As difficult as it was, Justin stuck to his moratorium at least in regards to talking about Brian Kinney. Not thinking about him and their night together proved to be a lot harder to do. The first couple of months he thought about Brian every day and frequently dreamt about the events of that fateful August night that brought them together. Not obsessing about his first lover proved to be equally as hard, since Justin considered drawing every inch of Brian's body from memory on a daily basis in pencil, charcoal and ink pretty much an obsession. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it because drawing Brian's face, hands, feet, back, ass, cock or any other part of his incredible body helped him overcome many varied physical conditions that suddenly started to plague him - such as insomnia, headache, stomachache, sudden anxiety before taking tests, memory problems when studying for SATs and writer's block when doing school assignments. In three months he filled two large sketchbooks with drawings of Brian to his constant chagrin and to Daphne's continued annoyance. She was of the opinion that since he couldn't let Brian Kinney go, then he should just go to Liberty Avenue and seek him out. Justin adamantly refused and sticking to his guns avoided the place like his life depended on it.
Adopting Brian's "maximum pleasure, minimum bullshit" motto proved to be equally as difficult as getting over the man himself, if not more so. Though it wasn't for lack of want, it was rather a lack of opportunity. St. James Academy wasn't exactly the gay mecca that was Liberty Avenue. Justin suspected that there might be at least a couple of other gay students in his school, but he had no idea who they were, since all were deep in the closet. Even if he knew who they were, Justin doubted he'd be interested in fucking any of them, since the only guy he felt remotely attracted to was a jock with a steady girlfriend of four years.
The only opportunity for sex that came his way was when he was visiting the art museum with his mother. A relatively attractive guy around Justin's age caught his eye and the two headed for the bathroom. Unfortunately, the experience that started out exciting (especially with the possibility of being caught by museum workers or other patrons), soon devolved into an awkward, sloppy and slobbery mess that ended mercifully quickly when the guy prematurely came into his pants. It seemed that the guy who looked like and acted like he knew what he was doing, was even less experienced than Justin. In the end, the idea of fucking in bathrooms made Justin shudder in disgust and he decided that fucking someone his age wasn't really worth the trouble.
On February 14th, almost six months after his night with Brian, Daphne finally convinced Justin to venture onto Liberty Avenue once more and at least find a date for Valentine's Day and get laid, so that they won't both be dateless, lonely losers. Justin told Daphne that she couldn't be a loser if she tried, but he finally relented and borrowing her car again drove towards the heart of Pittsburgh's gay neighborhood.
He spent an hour walking up and down Liberty Avenue; went into Boy Toy, which he remembered was a twink bar, and then a few other places. Unfortunately, he didn't see anyone remotely interesting. In his opinion there was absolutely no one he saw that he wanted fuck and he either ignored or firmly refused all offers to hook up. Eventually, thoroughly defeated he decided to put himself out of his misery and find Brian. He went to Woody's where he saw all of Brian's friends playing pool, but the brunet himself was nowhere to be found. He remembered Michael rather well and no one who has ever met Emmett would ever forget him, even though Justin spent less then five minutes in his company. He couldn't remember the name of the guy who looked like an accountant, but Justin could swear it started with a "T". Justin decided he had nothing to lose; gathering his courage, he walked up to them and boldly asked about their missing friend.
"Didn't I tell you to forget about him?" Michael said petulantly. "He has forgotten about you as soon as you were out the door, you stupid twat!" He continued, his voice rising. "He doesn't do repeats, can't you get it through your thick head?" He ended on a screech.
Justin was so taken aback by Michael's tone, he couldn't say anything in return and stayed rooted to the spot in shock for several minutes. The accountant and Emmett looked at him with sorrowful expressions. An older man Justin has never met and who inexplicably was there with Michael actually appeared to be embarrassed.
"Don't mind Michael, baby." Emmett said soothingly, "He's just upset about Brian leaving."
"Leaving?" Justin asked, completely bewildered. "Leaving where? For how long?"
"New York. It's been his life-long dream to get out of Pittsburgh and now it seems that he has an opportunity for a job with one of the big advertizing firms in Manhattan." Emmett explained, "He's there now, actually. He had a job interview this morning. Knowing Brian, the job's in the bag, he'll move to New York City and forget about all of us within days, if not within minutes. So, Michael's right, baby, though he shouldn't have been so rude to you - you should forget about Brian and move on."
"Thanks, Emmett." Justin said quietly. Ignoring Michael, Justin nodded in the others' direction in farewell, left the bar and then Liberty Avenue without a backward glance.
Justin stopped at an all-night grocery store on the way back to Daphne's, bought her the best bouquet of flowers he could find, a heart-shaped box of candy and a Pepto Bismol pink Valentine's Day card. He surprised his best friend with his cheesy gifts and said,
"I shouldn't have left, Daph. I shouldn't have gone chasing a dream guy on fucking Valentine's Day like a complete loser, when my best friend in the world is staying home alone. Forgive me?"
"Absolutely! And you couldn't be a loser if you tried." She said with a smile. "Now, what happened with Brian?" She asked knowing right away that asking about some random trick would be utterly useless.
"Nothing. He wasn't there and according to his friends he'll be moving to New York City pretty damn soon... So, that's that." He sighed.
"Damn, Jus, I'm sorry!"
"Me too. But you know what? This is a good thing, Daph. I realized a couple of things tonight. First, I found out I am not unattractive. I was starting to think that maybe that night with the face of God was a fluke, you know. That he was too drunk and too high to know any different and that's why he picked me up, but it turns out that was total bullshit! I've had so many blow job, hand job and hook up offers tonight, I've lost count. It seems I can get pretty much anyone I want, which is kind of unfortunate, because there was absolutely no one I wanted to fuck and every single place on Liberty was packed - Valentine's Day and all."
"So, what's your plan?"
"What it was before – avoid Liberty, forget him, move on and graduate high school, 'cause God knows there's no one at St. James remotely fuckable aside from Chris Hobbs and he's as straight as they come, and a complete asshole. Yeah, I want to get laid like any other guy my age, but tonight I realized I don't want random hook ups; none of them are going to measure up to my first anyway, so what's the point? That was the second thing I realized, which means that I probably won't get laid again until college, but what can you do." He sighed and shrugged.
"I understand about not wanting random hook ups. I'm into the long-term thing myself, you know that. Here's the thing, though..." She hesitated, but then continued bravely "I've been thinking a lot about your first time with Brian and I realized that I want my first time to be exactly the same..."
"With B...He doesn't fuck women, Daph, you are out of luck there." Justin deadpanned.
"Har-har, very funny! Of course not with Brian! I meant that I want my first time to be with someone I trust implicitly, someone I know will take care of me, will take it slow, will make me feel good. I've had three boyfriends and as much as I liked all of them – I even thought I was in love with Paul – I didn't want any of them to be my first. Somehow, deep down, I didn't trust them not to be selfish in bed. You didn't know Brian at all, yet you trusted him with your entire being. I realized that that's what I want, Justin. There's only one person in the world whom I trust that much and whom I love that much, even though I am not 'in love' with him."
"Who?" Justin asked curiously.
"You, dumbass! I want my first time to be with you, Justin, because I know you would die before you would ever hurt me or treat me like shit afterwords."
"Uhm, Daph, you do remember that I am gay, right?"
"Yes, Justin, I remember." She let out an exaggerated sigh and dramatically rolled her eyes. "How could I forget? But you are an 18 year old male, who's constantly sporting a hard-on, so I somehow don't think you'll have trouble performing, even with a girl. Listen, it's no pressure, OK? You've never been with a girl and I've never been with a guy, so I thought we could lose our virginity to each other. Well, technically you aren't really a virgin anymore, but at the same time you kinda are. We love each other as friends and we trust each other with our lives. In my humble opinion, there's no better partner to lose it to, don't you think? Oh, and if you are worried that you'll rock my world so much that I'll instantly fall in love with you and ruin our friendship, don't be. Just think about it, Justin. OK?"
"OK, I'll think about it."
Justin did think about it. He thought about it a lot and in the end decided to accept Daphne's very generous offer – partly to (hopefully) please his best friend and partly from curiosity. They discussed it at length and promised each other "no weirdness" after they do the deed. Daphne, a budding feminist, decided the date to be March 8th - International Women's Day that's celebrated in many countries throughout the world. She thought it would be symbolic "to become a woman in every sense of the word, to claim her sexual identity and to celebrate her sexuality" on such a day. Luckily and by complete coincidence, Daphne's parents were attending a hospital fundraiser that evening, which provided ample time and complete privacy to the two best friends.
Daphne and Justin pretended to study in her room while her parents were getting ready, but as soon as they left, both brought out carefully concealed packages of provisions that they both brought for the big event. The fact that both of them had multiple condoms, spermicidal foam and lube made them laugh – it looked like they were both over-prepared – which dispelled the sudden nervousness and made them comfortable again. They spent fifteen minutes picking out some mood music and settled on the Portishead album Dummy that they both loved and thought was totally sexy in an understated way. They put the CD on very low volume until it was barely heard and got down to business.
About half an hour later they lay on the bed side-by-side, looking at the ceiling and unsure what to say to each other, until Daphne gathered her courage.
"So, still gay, Jus?"
He looked at her smirking face and immediately relaxed. "Sorry, Daph, but I am still definitely gay. Very, very, completely gay... not that you didn't feel good or anything, but, yeah... I am pretty much..."
"The gayest?" She said, barely suppressing her laughter.
"Oh, yeah. You aren't mad?"
"God, no! You are right, you know, you are good. I read up on stuff online and it's not usual for a woman to achieve orgasm her first time. So, I totally didn't expect it, you know?"
Justin blushed to the roots and confessed, "I called the hotline at the GLC."
"The Gay and Lesbian Center? Why?" Daphne was rather confused.
"I sort of asked to talk to a lesbian. I thought she could give me pointers, you know, so I explained the whole deal to her. It's all anonymous, by the way, so don't worry. I guess her advice didn't hurt, huh?"
"Oh, my God, Justin! I can't believe you did that for me, thanks!" She said and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "So, that's how you seemed to know what the hell you were doing! Soooooo," she said dragging the syllable out as long as possible, "who did you think about?"
Justin looked at his best friend and realized that she was not upset and was perfectly serious when asking that question. "You first."
"Leo DiCaprio."
"You are kidding?"
"Hey, don't you mock me! I happened to watch Titanic the other day. He was hot in that and stuck in my mind, OK? Now, it's your turn. Spill!" She demanded.
Justin sighed and answered, "He who must not be named..."
"Lord Voldemort?"
"Brian Kinney, Daph... I was thinking of Brian Kinney." He hasn't said that name aloud in weeks due to his self-imposed moratorium. Saying it again, even in slight exasperation at Daphne's joke, felt incredibly good. Saying that forbidden name tasted sweet and slightly bitter, like wild honey on his lips. "Wild honey... that's what his skin tasted like...sweet and earthy..." he remembered wistfully.
"Oh..." She sighed. "That man is an idiot, Jus. He's an idiot for rejecting you and for letting you go. You deserve someone better than that and someday you'll meet him - your prince - and he'll love you forever. I promise you that." She said fervently.
Daphne's heartfelt words almost made him cry. He swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. "My prince? God, Daph, you are such a girl!" he joked, desperately trying to dissolve the sudden onslaught of emotion.
"Duh!" She said, smiling again. "I want a cigarette. You?"
"Yeah, but shower first, definitely. You should take a bath though, the lesbian at the GLC hotline said it's better if you take a bath. It might help with the soreness and such." He finished, blushing profusely again.
Daphne looked at her best friend and realized how profoundly right she was for choosing Justin for her first lover – she was convinced that no one else would have taken such good care of her.
"A bath sounds awesome, Jus, thanks." She said quietly, then smiling again she added. "You know, if you weren't my best friend and gay, I would totally fall in love with you, marry you and have a dozen babies... but, alas, I have to find a straight prince of my very own..." She sighed dramatically and then seeing Justin's worried expression, asked "What's wrong?"
"So, we are cool, Daph? No weirdness?" He asked anxiously.
"I promise, no weirdness." She answered with conviction.
Daphne took a bath in her parents big whirlpool bathtub, while Justin took a shower in the bathroom across from her room. When they were dressed again, the two friends had a couple of cigarettes before Justin went home.
The next day, March 9th, 2001, was a Friday and when Daphne and Justin met in front of their hated school they were a bit nervous about the others reaction to the previous nights shenanigans. They looked in each others eyes, smiled, then laughed and realized that they were still the best of friends and that there was no weirdness at all.
The next few weeks went by without incident and life was good until April Fool's day when Justin's life began to fall apart. The first thing that happened was his mother found his "Brian" sketchbooks in his room. It was Sunday afternoon and she came into his room with a fresh load of laundry. Normally Justin folded and put his clothes away himself, but for some odd reason Jennifer Taylor decided to help out her son just this once. She opened the bottom drawer of his chest of drawers to put a bunch of folded t-shirts inside. The drawer was messy, with clothes jumbled up haphazardly and crammed almost full. She took the entire thing out and dumped the contents onto his bed in order to straighten it all out. She didn't realize that the mess was intentional and was there to hide multiple sketchbooks containing nude studies of Brian and very explicit drawings of the two of them having sex in various positions.
Jennifer long suspected that Justin might be gay, but until that moment there was no actual proof. She sat down on Justin's bed in shock, suddenly grateful that she was alone in the house – Justin was hanging out with Daphne as per usual, Molly was on a play date until the evening and Craig was at the country club playing racket ball with a buddy of his. She didn't know what to do, but instinctively decided to talk to Justin alone before saying anything to his father. Something told her that he wouldn't react well to the news of their son's apparent sexuality.
To say that that conversation wasn't easy would be a massive understatement. When Craig came home from the country club, she somehow convinced him to go pick up Molly from her play date and go on a father-daughter outing to the movies. When Justin came home shortly after Craig left to pick up Molly, Jennifer confronted her son and asked him about the sketches. At first, Justin wanted to deny everything, but a sudden image of Brian appeared in his mind and he couldn't lie. As difficult and as scary as it was, Justin came out to his mother and admitted to not being a virgin any longer. She took it better than he expected. She surprised him by agreeing that his father wouldn't react well and further astonished him by promising to keep it a secret from Craig for a little while. However, when she asked him about the man in his sketches specifically, Justin lied. He told her that he saw the man on the street, was attracted to him and all the drawings were from his imagination. For some reason, his one night stand with Brian was private and he didn't want to share it with anyone else, aside from Daphne, especially not with his mother. Justin was pretty sure that she didn't believe his story deep down. In fact, he was positive that she consciously decided to take his word for it because she couldn't handle hearing any of the details. They both left it at that, but their relationship wasn't the same. It wasn't exactly strained, but it was definitely not as easy or as close as it was before his coming out.
The second event that further unraveled Justin's life happened at school a couple of weeks later. He made the mistake of giving a hand job to Chris Hobbs in the sports equipment room during detention. They were almost caught and at first Chris acted like nothing happened for a while. Neither Justin nor Chris mentioned the incident to anyone else and never talked of it with each other. Justin thought that Chris decided that it was a one off mistake and that he put the entire episode out of his mind, since he was still with his girlfriend and actually ramped up the amount of PDA in the hallways of St. James Academy. Unfortunately, Justin couldn't have been more wrong.
The trouble started after prom, which Justin attended with Daphne. The two best friends had a blast dancing the night away, completely unaware of resentful stares thrown their way by Chris Hobbs and his rising anger. On Monday, when everyone returned to school after prom, rumors of Justin's sexuality began to creep around until they escalated into a firestorm. Hobbs didn't hide the fact that he started the rumors when Justin finally confronted him. Angry beyond reason Justin attempted to tell everyone about the hand job, but Hobbs suddenly hit him and proceeded to beat the hell out of the blond. Justin did his best to defend himself, but Chris's football buddies jumped in and by the time a couple of teachers and the principal of the school intervened, Justin was lying on the floor unconscious and bloody.
In the end, Justin wasn't seriously hurt – except for a mild concussion, most of the injuries were superficial. Justin would have gladly lived with all of that, including the three day suspension he received at school for fighting, if not for the fact that the incident made the rest of his senior year at the Academy a living hell. And for the fact that the whole ordeal revealed his sexuality to his father and completely destroyed their relationship.
Craig refused to speak to Justin for weeks and barely acknowledged his presence in the house. He only started speaking to Justin again when he overheard a conversation between his wife and his son of Justin being accepted to PIFA and his desire to go to art school. The idea of his son going to art school was somehow worse to Craig than his son being beaten bloody for being gay. He talked to Justin for the first time in weeks and gave him an ultimatum – either Justin deny his sexuality and go to Dartmouth to study business or he'll be thrown out on the street right after graduation from high school without a penny and be denied access to his entire family, his mother and sister included. Jennifer tried to protest, but Craig made it clear that she wouldn't like the consequences if she continued defending their son.
Justin was angry and heartbroken. He didn't want to hurt his mother or sister further then they've already been hurt. He realized that he had no choice but to comply with his father's demands.
However, Justin wasn't going to take everything that Craig dished out; at least not without a fight. For some reason he thought of Brian Kinney and he was absolutely certain that Brian wouldn't take this bullshit lying down; that he would figure out a way to make a bad situation work for him. He thought long and hard about his choices. In the end, he approached his father with a compromise of sorts that he decided he could live with. Craig, reluctantly impressed with his son's negotiating skills, agreed to a deal.
Justin's high school graduation from St. James Academy was attended by mother and sister. Craig stayed away under the pretext of an unexpected problem at work. Although it upset him, Justin decided to let his father go. When his name was called to receive the diploma, he walked up on stage proudly and with his head held high. He ignored the snickers and catcalls coming from Chris Hobbs and his homophobic friends and concentrated on the cheers coming form his mother, sister and Daphne.
"Here comes the rest of my life..." Justin thought as he walked down the stage stairs, high school diploma in hand, "Beat me, call me names, disown me, give me ultimatums, deny me my rights, you fucking homophobes! Do whatever you fucking want, because in the end I'll show you, I'll show you ALL what I am capable of. I'll be the best, the most successful fucking homosexual I can possibly be, like Brian Kinney. So, come on, life – BRING. IT. ON!"
Disclaimer: All belongs to Showtime and Cowlip! No infringement intended.
A/N: Hello, my gentle readers! Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I truly appreciate every single review!
Cheers!