A crime is a crime, no matter if it was meant or not. Even for a young girl who'd just become a soul reaper, there was no reprieve from the law.
I'd only been nineteen at the time. I'd graduated the soul reaper academy a year before, and I had been considered a prodigy. I had the only gravity zanpakuto in centuries, and hiramekinu was greatly powerful. It wasn't his fault that we'd been kicked out of the soul society.
I'd been in squad thirteen, with Ukitake as my captain. After a year I'd proven myself capable and I was fifth seat. Surely, it was something for others to be jealous of. But everyone knew I couldn't control my power well. I had a temper and when I got emotional my powers got unstable. Terrible deal, altogether.
On a mission in the world of the living, I'd lost it one day. I was hurt but I thought I could take care of the hollow. I even shoved our fourth seat out of the way, proclaiming that I didn't need any help. I'd been working on a technique that wasn't perfected, and I thought it couldn't go wrong.
Well, I'd been terribly mistaken. My gravity sphere had gone out of control and destroyed every hollow in the area. Not to mention twenty living humans and sixteen soul reapers, including our fourth seat. I'd been put on trial and been banished. My soul reaper powers had been stripped of me, but Urahara had gotten them back. So far, no one knew. No one knew I'd been training for the last fifty years with Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihoin. Everyone assumed I'd been living a human life, I supposed.
Heaving a sigh, I slowed my steps, a frown on my lips. "We can still turn back," I offered weakly, looking up at Yoruichi with a plea in my grey eyes. "You can tell Yamamoto you couldn't find me, or I'm dead. I won't mind taking the blame."
"The soul reapers are getting suspicious, Sasha," Yoruichi reminded me. "One of them saw you a few months ago, and reported in that they'd seen an unknown soul reaper. I think the head captain has had his suspicions, and if you keep skipping out on this, he won't be so kind as to extend a request next time."
I sighed, reaching up to play with the rook piercing in my left ear. "I could find a nice secluded mountain somewhere," I suggested to myself, staring at Yoruichi's back. "A nice mountain to live out my days and hunt mice. I don't mind living as a cat, honest," I promised myself.
"You're making me regret teaching you that," Yoruichi murmured, just as a light appeared in front of us. I stopped, trembling in trepidation, but the older soul reaper grabbed my arm and pulled me through.
Stumbling, I pulled my hood lower over my face, looking at the ground. I was good at hiding my spiritual pressure, so I squashed it even further, glaring at the white ground.
"Yoruichi Shihoin!" I heard someone announce. "You are permitted to be here, along with this….human?" I heard someone ask. Mutters broke out. No one seemed to know who I was. That was lucky.
"She's been requested by the head captain," Yoruichi spoke up, grabbing my arm in an iron grip to prevent me from running. I couldn't believe Yoruichi actually wanted me to help out here again. No one wanted me back.
"Oh. That is fine then," one of the guards replied. "But might we know who she is?" he walked closer to me and I backed up, standing behind Yoruichi. "At least her name so we can report it?
"Of course," Yoruich replied easily. "Her name is Sasha Youma."
"I see." They still had no idea or I'd be getting chased with pitchforks already. Flaming pitchforks with my luck. "Please, go on ahead."
"I don't want to be here," I groaned as we walked away from the guards. I refused to look up, only seeing Yoruichi's booted feet in front of me. "Can't you just go and report and I go home?"
"Are you a coward, Sasha?" the woman questioned, though she didn't slow down.
"Yes. I am absolutely a coward," I replied dourly. Sometimes that worked to tick me off, but not now. "I'm a lowly coward who isn't fit to be anywhere near here. Can I go now?"
"No. And I refuse to let you say you're a coward when that is not what you are. Do not dishonor me-"
"-Oh not this speech," I sighed. "You know that hasn't worked on me in twenty years."
"Sometimes I just hope it will. I could threaten you with shop cleaning duty for the next year, but I suppose you'd jump at the chance just for a way to get out of here."
"You would be correct," I murmured, touching my finger to my scar and running my finger down the smooth skin. I did it sometimes, when I was upset or nervous. That wasn't the only scar I'd obtained in the world of the living. I also had marks on my left hip from a cero shot from a menos grande. The wounds had been too far healed and I'd decided just to let them scar than have Tessai reopen the wounds. I also had a crescent shaped mark above my right eyebrow, and of course the main one that ran from close to my right ear down to almost my collarbone.
Finally we stood outside a door with the symbol for squad one on it. I backed up and Yoruichi turned to look at me. "Will you please just see if you can report in and be done with it?" I begged, my heart hammering in my chest. I looked up, meeting her gaze. "Please."
Finally she nodded, a soft frown on her face. "I'll do my best, Sasha," she promised before opening the door and walking in.
I backed up and stood there, shoulders hunched as I stared at the ground. I was perfecrtly fine to wait here and-
"Well I wonder who you could be?" a voice drawled from behind me, making me jump and flinch away. I stared at the ground, looking at the person's shadow. I was bad at gently touching spiritual pressure, and I knew if I tried to figure who this was by touching his spiritual pressure he would experience it as if I were feeling him up with my spiritual pressure. At least I knew it was a guy, and I could feel that their power was immense. "I heard from the guards that Yoruichi Shihoin had brought back a mystery girl with no spiritual pressure but with a sword at her back. I had to see for myself who had come to visit our humble sereitei. Tell me, what's your name little girl?" I saw him reaching forward toward my hood and I stepped back, not speaking and looking at the ground.
"Oh, what are you afraid of?" he pouted, and I was beginning to get a good idea of who it was. "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I just want to know who I'm talking to." He reached for my hood again but I was faster, grabbing his hand and twisting away from him.
"Leave me alone," I finally murmured, walking backward and sidestepping him. It was hard to stay away from him while looking at the ground.
"So she speaks!" he commended, clapping his hands. "Very good, little princess. Now how about you tell me your name? I won't bite…hard."
I wanted to kick him. In fact, I knew exactly who was talking to me. Gin Ichimaru. Second greatest hero of the arrancar war. He'd taken the hogyoku from Aizen and been saved by Rangiku after being struck down. Then he'd been pardoned and gotten back his captain seat. He annoyed the hell out of me. I'd always been afraid of him, and tried to stay away from him.
"If you tell me who you are, I'll leave you alone," he sang, dancing toward me. "I promise. I'll just say hi to you properly, introduce myself-oh. I haven't introduced myself yet either. How rude of me. I'm-"
"-I know who you are," I growled, nervously touching my sword. "I don't need an introduction."
"Well it seems I'm in the dark then," he chortled. "And that's very unfair, you know. I just want to know who-" the door opening interrupted him, and at that moment he pushed the hood back from my head, exposing my face and my spiritual pressure. "You are…" he finished, eyes opening and meeting mine. "No. Surely-"I pulled my hood back on, taking a step back and hiding my spiritual pressure once again. He was still staring at me, amused. "Surely not," he continued. "Hiroyuki-"
"-Sasha," Yoruichi called from behind me. "Come. Now."
I glared at Captain Ichimaru a moment before turning and following Yoruichi inside. Now I wanted to go in, if only to get away from the fox outside.
"So," a loud voice thundered, making me wince. "Take off that hood. I know who you are. You can't hide from me, Hiroyuki Yamamoto."
Taking a breath, I pushed my hood back and looked up at the old captain. "That's not my name…anymore," I murmured, pushing my hair back. "I'm sorry. But I haven't gone by that name in-"
"-Fifty years, I assume," he broke in. "And so I've heard. Sasha Youma. That is how you try to hide yourself and your transgressions." I shifted, looking at Yoruichi before staring hard at the floor. "I thought I stripped you of your spiritual powers," he remarked. "But apparently Yoruichi Shihoin found it right to return them to you without my permission-"
"-I'll just go back," I murmured, shrinking under his gaze and not meeting his eyes. "I don't-I don't want to be here. I know I shouldn't be here, and no one wants me here. So I just want to go home. Back to the world of the living, that is."
"Go back?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised. "Would you truly pick going back to the world of the living, even if I stripped you once again of your powers?"
"Yes," I said without hesitation. "I would much rather go back then be here."
"You would suffer a mortal life, and die a human rather than face the consequences of your actions that still lie here," the captain clarified.
"Well when you put it that way….yeah. Any day of the week." I stepped behind Yoruichi, using her as a shield.
"This is not my battle," she murmured, pushing my forward. I looked at her for help but she stayed impassive.
"It's true, no one knows what became of you," Yamamoto began. "And everyone believes you dead or old in human years. But I have known for a few months now that that is not the case. And it is not my intention that you go back to the human world. I would have you serve under a new captain, as a seated officer once again."
That was shocking. I looked up at him, eyes wide. "But-I can't," I said, startled. "I think we both know that's not a great idea. Umm. You remember what happened last time-"
"-Everyone remembers the tragedy and dishonor you brought upon us," Yamamoto promised. "And I promise you that some still bear a grudge toward you. But you were not meant to die a human, or live as an outcast. I told you fifty years ago that in fifty more years I would reevaluate your punishment. I have. For the next thousand years you will serve as a soul reaper in squad three."
There were so many parts of that statement that were so wrong. One thousand years? SQUAD THREE? My mind flashed to that….man outside. That was why he'd been there. I couldn't. But this was part of my punishment apparently. I couldn't argue with it. If I did I'd probably be strung up on Sokyoku hill the day after tomorrow.
I measured my words carefully, playing with the rope bracelet on my right wrist. "I accept the punishment as consequences for my crimes," I finally murmured, wishing I could just go home to Urahara's shop. "And I will do my best to recompense for what I did."
"Good. I believe your new captain is waiting for you outside. You will report directly to him." I knew a dismissal when I heard it. I glanced at Yoruichi, who looked ruffled, and hunched my shoulders, walking back to the other end of the room. I pulled my hood back up over my face and pushed the door open, slipping out and closing it behind me.
"Don't tell me I'm your new captain," Ichimaru continued, as if we were in the middle of a conversation. I only sighed, staring at the doors. "Hello? Hiroyuki-"
"-Sasha," I interrupted, glancing at him with sad eyes. "It's Sasha Youma. And yeah. You're my new captain."
"I'm surprised. I'm here to receive my new third seat," Ichimaru admitted. "I guess that's you. But I seem to remember something bad happening the last time someone made you a seated officer." He was obviously looking for a rise out of me. I only let out a sigh and sat down against the wall, burying my head in my hands.
"Aww, cheer up, Sasha-chan," Ichimaru chirped, sitting down beside me and patting my head condescendingly. "I'll keep ya on the straight and narrow."
"I hate you," I informed him, not looking up. "I absolutely hate you, know that Ichimaru?" I asked, glaring at him.
"Captain Ichimaru, if you please," he chuckled, stretching out his legs but still sitting beside me. "After all, I'm going to be your new captain. We'll have to start training immediately," he mused out loud. "And the men are going to be confused. Well, not that there are too many soul reapers in my squad anymore."
Looking up at him, I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "Why's that?" I asked curiously. "Are you only accepting the best now, o hero?" I was only half joking.
The silver haired man sighed, looking up at the sky. "Exactly, Sasha-chan," he murmured. "That's exactly the reason." He stopped when the door opened and Yoruichi stepped out. Immediately I jumped to my feet, eyes widening.
"Please tell me you got him to change his mind," I said quickly, walking away from Gin Ichimaru.
She shook her head, frowning. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I really didn't know he'd want to keep you here. But you'll be fine. I know you'll be fine." She put a hand on my shoulder, still frowning. "Just don't let people walk all over you," she advised. "You made a mistake. That's all. You've been exiled for fifty years and you've done your best to atone for your mistakes." She pulled my hooded scarf off of my shoulders and my spiritual pressure was let loose. Now everyone knew I was here. Hopefully not many people recognized my spiritual pressure.
"Can't you stay or something?" I whined futilely, walking after her as she started to leave. "Or at least do me the favor slitting my throat now," I intoned quietly.
Yoruichi rolled her eyes and frowned. "I'll be back to bring your things. And I won't abandon you. If anything happens you can call me. You'll be fine, just don't lose control." She smiled at me before disappearing in a flash step. I stared after her, contemplating an escape back to the world of the living. I could dodge soul reapers for the next odd three thousand years.
"So I should hide all soul reapers who might try to get in front of you in the line of duty?" Ichimaru asked innocently, getting to his feet. "Or should I just warn them all off by hanging a sign around your neck?"