A/N: I hope the first chapter was good guys! It was just my intro to my story. I'm still trying to find time to write, but I'll try to update as often as possible

CHAPTER 1

Santana sat in her half empty bath tub. THe water had already turned luke-warm, but the bath was where Santana could think clearly. She pulled her bare legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees, the water sloshing around her. Everytime she was alone she couldn't help but think about Karofsky's face when she had visited him in the hospital.

She had slowly opened the white door that opened to the likewise white room. It's smelled like her father's office, she felt like she wanted to get sick. She had turned to his bed, he had plastic tubes coming out of his nose, and an IV pole hooked up to his arm. Santana felt the bile rise in her throat. She had done this to him. It was her fault. She, Santana Lopez had done this to the poor boy. Why was it okay for her to turn his own sexual orrientation on him? She knew tears were pouring out of her eyes. She tried to get herself to say something, but she couldn't. She collapsed on the white chair by his bed side. Karofsky turned to look into her eyes. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to force words out of her mouth.

"It's okay Santana, I know you're sorry," he whispered in a gravelly voice, "I would of realised I was a gay eventually, I would of had to accept that and I couldn't have hidden forever." He gave her a small smile.

Santana was taken aback, "how can you be so calm about this? You tried to KILL yourself! And it was my fault-"

"Santana , stop," he whispered. "You helped me"

"Uhm, you tried to kill yourself because of me."

"I tried to kill myself because of MYSELF, I was ashamed by my own mind, I was ashamed of myself. My parents pushed me over the edge, I have scars from where my dad hit me. They tried to change a part of me that's in my DNA. If not for you, I may have always been closetted and afraid. And without my parents pushing me to almost death, I wouldn't have accepted myself either. Probably not the best way to accept yourself," he let out a low chuckle, "almost dying, but sometimes when you're on death's bed," he pointed to himself weakly, "you start to realise all the joys of living." He tried to smile.

"I still don't understand how you can be so calm about almost taking your life, it doesn-

The bathroom door opened interrupting her flashback. "Santana honey I-" her girlfriend stopped. "Oh Santana, you have to stop thinking about this! It's been 2 years!" Brittany exclaimed, exasperated.

"What are you talking about?" Santana replied lamely.

"Do NOT try me Santana Lopez, I know that look, I can see it in your eyes. We've been together for 4 years, I know exactly what you're thinking. You're blaming the Karofsky thing on yourself. Santana, you guys are best friends now, and he's forgiven you, AND, may I just add, you hooked him up with Chandler." Santana shrugged half-heartedly.

Brittany picked up on of Santana's blue towels from the shelf above the toilet. They were right next to Brittany's pink ones. "Stand up Santana." Santana obliged and Brittany wrapped the fluffy towel around her and led her back to their bedroom. "Sit." Brittany commanded, pointing at the bed. Brittany pulled clothes out of Santana's drawers, and threw them at her girlfriend, "Get dressed, and get to class. I have rehearsal until 5 so I'll see you at 5:30 for dinner okay?" Brittany said to Santana as she walked out the door. Santana heard Brittany pick up her keys and shut the door behind her. Santana didn't want to be left alone, but she dressed and grabbed her metro card, and shut the door behind her.

A/N: If anyone is reading this, I want to know what you think! Hit me up with some reviews guys! Don't worry it'll get better soon :)