This is for Angelmail, as ever, for...just general stuff :D The song is White Horse by Taylor Swift, and everything belongs to James Patterson. Thanks
One year. That's how long it had been since Fang left me. That worthless, useless, gorgeous idiot ex-wingman, ex-boyfriend traitor. The Flock thought I'd dealt with it, but it still killed me inside, that the boy I thought loved me had just left, like that. But they didn't need to know – they had enough trouble themselves. It still broke my heart to see Nudge crying over a t-shirt he'd left behind, to see Iggy just sitting there, looking blank. And so I vowed that if I saw Fang again, I'd punch him. Just for them.
So, here I was, sitting on my bed at Mom's house, staring at the computer screen, and absently wondering if Fang was going to post something new on his blog. Pathetic, I know, but this was the closest I could get to him now.
Fang's Blog
Welcome!
You are Visitor Number: This thing broke again, take a guess
Soo...I got so many comments and questions I decided to humour you and answer some of them. Here goes:
Kitten3Luv from Ontario says:
Now uv ditched Max, duz that mean ur single? 3
Well, sorry, Kitten3Luv, no, I'll always love Max. We just can't be together right now.
Wingz4eva from Utahsays:
I love u, Fang, come to Utah and I'll keep u safe!
Again, sorry Wingz, but I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. I'll keep you posted – hopefully I'll meet up with Max in 20 years...
Callum from New Jersey says:
What is up with you! You had a great girlfriend, you were supporting your Flock and then you just flew off. You're an irresponsible jerk.
Callum, Callum, Callum...you just don't understand. I had to leave, I couldn't put Max in danger...you might understand when you find someone you really care about.
At that point I shut the laptop screen down and blinked away a few tears. He really cared about me? But why couldn't he just have stayed? I stared at my bedroom wall, trying to stop myself from crying. Suddenly, there was a tap at the window. I jumped, ready to defend myself, and walked slowly to the window, keeping close to the wall so I couldn't be seen. Hmm...an enemy wouldn't knock, would they? Unless Dr. Hagen-Daas has been breeding some very stupid mutants. Taking a deep breath, I flung open the window, which opened on the outside. There was an `oof' of expelled breath from behind it, and a groan. I stiffened. I knew that voice...I poked my head out of the window. A dark winged shape was hovering nearby, holding a bleeding nose. Hearing me, his head snapped up.
"Max?"
"Fang" I said venomously.
"You gave me a nose-bleed" he accused, coming closer.
I made to close the window.
"I don't make it twenty years yet, and this isn't Lake Mead" I replied hostilely.
Fang came down further so he was almost level with me.
"Max" he murmured softly. "I-"
"Left" I interrupted caustically. "Why should I let you in?"
He paused.
"All I want is you. Do you love me?"
I hesitated.
"Yeah."
"Can you give me a second chance?"
I closed my eyes.
"Come in" I relented.
Fang dropped in, and looked straight at me with his dark, soulful eyes that I'd missed so much...
Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
No! He could do this any time, he wasn't having me again. He'd abandoned us. I returned his stare coolly.
"Why are you here?"
Fang ran his hand through his too-long jet black hair.
"I couldn't do it. I couldn't manage without you."
"What about what you told Callum?" I asked viciously, opening the computer and showing him his reply.
He smirked sheepishly.
"I was wrong."
"I thought you were being noble, and saving me from pain!"
"Max..."
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
"You should have stayed away."
"But I didn't. I love you, Max."
Those words, the ones I'd longed to hear for so long suddenly lost their value.
"If you couldn't live without me, why have you waited so long?"
A year's worth of long, boring days with only the memories of Fang for company...I should have known I could never have him again. But now he was here...and what was I supposed to do?Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known
"I had to make sure."
I felt like punching him. Couldn't he speak in longer sentences? But this wasn't right, he'd told me he was going to stay away; and this was just too good to be true.I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
"Look, Fang, this isn't you. You said you'd be gone, and you wouldn't come back. You betrayed me, you betrayed all of us! Why did you think you'd be welcome here?" I demanded, my eyes blazing.
He looked down at me, looking puzzled. Dang! How was he so much taller than me in a year?
"I thought..."
"You obviously didn't think, because otherwise you wouldn't have come back. We don't want you. We don't needyou!"
My eyes began to fill with frustrated tears. I'd always dreamt that Fang would be here, that we'd live together as a lovely little mutant couple. How wrong I was.This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
"It's too late, Fang. You're too late."
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around
He looked down at me with his amazing dark eyes, which normally would melt my heart: but this time, it didn't. I remember the first time we kissed properly – I just looked into those eyes and I fell stupidly in love. Like a complete idiot, I didn't even think about the future. It was just me, and Fang, together. Just like we'd be forever.Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
Fang could barely get me to admit it, not for a long time – God knows he kissed me enough, he let me knew what I thought. I fought him every step of the way, trying not to get caught up in the messy mesh of emotions that was love. I should have stayed concentrating on my Flock, then I wouldn't have lost Fang in the first place...but then I shouldn't have needed him at all. If I'd stayed away, none of this would have happened.
My mistake, I didn't ought to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I remember all the fantasies, all the day-dreams I would never tell anyone, because they were so un-Max-like. How the Flock would find a house, and there would be a garden for Iggy and Gaz to blow stuff up, shops for Nudge, a room for Angel. And a place for me to be with Fang, just on our own. That was just one of them, there were so many...not any more. Never any more.
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know
"Max..." murmured Fang, moving closer.
I backed away.
"No, Fang. You're not my knight in shining armour. Not any more" I whispered.
He put his hands on my shoulders and gazed deep into my eyes. I shook him off.
"Don't. Don't even try it" I hissed, putting on my best glare.I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
"Max, listen to me!"
"I've been listening to you for too long. You've been lying. If you actually cared about me, you would had stayed away. I used to dream you'd come back" I mused, laughing bitterly. "You know, it's not as good as I imagined."
Fang looked like he was about to growl.
"I came back because I love you! I couldn't manage without you!"
"Ooh, long sentence there, big guy. I'm impressed."
He just watched me, unmoving.
"You don't mean that."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Don't I?"This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
"Damnit, I love you, Max!"
"Then why did you leave? Make up your mind, you either love me, or you don't. Choose."
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around
Fang knelt in front of me, looking sad and puppy-ish. I almost laughed.
"I'm so sorry, Max. I choose you, just like I said."
And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
This was what I'd wanted for so long...but it had suddenly lost all its value. It didn't mean anything to me now. I stared up at him hard, trying not to crack and lose my resolve.
"I'm sorry too" I said truthfully. "I really am."
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
"I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not meant for it. You need to find someone else. And I...I need to find someone who'll treat me like a girlfriend, who won't just abandon me then change his mind. Someone who'll treat me well!"Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
"I know you cared for me, and I know because we both have wings, it seemed like a good idea. But...there are so many other people. I just don't think we're meant for each other. I need to get out of here...I have got out of here, now."
What was wrong with me? I never talked like this, ever. Max talking about feelings? That was up there with, like...
Oh, I don't know, having wings?
Shut up, Voice!, I hissed mentally. I don't need this.
And I didn't need Fang now. That would have seemed like a strange sentence last year, but now...now it made sense.
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now
"Fang, it's just too late. There's nothing left now."
He just looked up at me, not comprehending.
"But, Max...I came back for you. I love you!"
"Fang...no."
I was falling too fast now, there was no going back. Fang couldn't catch me now...And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now
"Do you love me?" he demanded.
I paused again.
"Yeah..."
"Can you give me a second chance?"
This was it. I had to do this now.
"No."
Fang moved away abruptly and went to the window.
"Tell the Flock I said hi" he said, and leapt out of the window, unfurling his pitch black wings and flying off into the grey sky.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
I shut the window and felt the tears welling up in my eyes, and the lump forming in my throat. This was too much to deal with.
"Good bye, Fang" I murmured. "I'm so sorry."
Oh, it's too late to catch me now