The following morning Nate came in early, as he usually did, before any of the other agents. He turned in his completed paperwork and set out on meandering the halls, compartmentalizing his day, observing the various states of mind people were in as they came in to work. Eric and Dom were the first to arrive, both chattering about online social networks and other various technological means of communication. Sam and Callen came in together, both unusually quiet. Typically they arrived bickering about unimportant topics, taking jabs at each other, sparing verbally as a warm up to their day. Nate had noticed Callen was slightly on edge, probably because he didn't sleep at all the night before. Nate's psych eval with Callen was beyond intense and he knew the next few days would be rough for Callen, but in the end he would pull through. He made a note to himself to check in with Callen before the day was through. Sam's psych eval was mildly intense, as it usually was. Sam was just open enough to satisfy Nate's questions, but still closed off enough to protect himself and his secrets. Still, the psych eval was rough on Sam as well. Nate imagined neither one of them closed their eyes last night.
Nate watched his team as they greeted each other, poured coffee, and got ready for the days work. Such a myriad of emotions from one team member to the next; it was hard to make out that they were a team at all. The week of psych evals was always difficult for the agents because it brought up emotions that most of them buried over the year. Because the week was so emotionally intense the team was typically pulled out of the field, work load permitting. The entire week was about breaking the team down, confronting their demons, and then building each of them back up again to a more stable and healthier mental state. Nate had his work cut out for him and it was only day two.
As he approached the distraught team members, he noticed one was missing. "Where's Kensi?" He asked the unusually quiet team.
Callen and Sam didn't acknowledge Nate was in the room. Eric looked up from his phone and shrugged. Nate knew Sam and Callen weren't going to talk to him for a while. They were like an open wound and Nate was the person they saw as prodding at the wound making it bleed more. It hurt Nate to see his team like this, but he kept telling himself that he had to break them down before he could build them up and they were clearly not ready yet. Feeling awkward and out of place among his team, Nate headed for his office. He already felt emotionally exhausted and his day just barely began.
Kensi was the only agent who arrived in a semi-cheerful mood, but that would soon change. She walked into the bull pen and greeted everyone, but Eric was the only one who responded. She looked over at him, "What's going on with you guys? Why so quiet?"
Eric responded, "Psych evals."
Kensi's facial expression changed as if she got a bitter taste in her mouth. "Crap. I totally forgot."
Callen looked up from his desk, "He's on a real rampage this year Kens. You better prepare yourself."
Sam chuckled, "Yeah. I would have rather run into oncoming traffic than go through that interview again."
Kensi frowned, "Come guys its just Nate. Stonewall him and glare at him enough and he cowers away like a dog with his tail between his legs."
Sam looked at Kensi seriously, "That's what we thought."
Kensi was slightly frightened, but thought the guys were just messing with her as usual. "Well, I'm a woman. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.'"
"I don't think that's going to be your saving grace this time Kens. Something's up with Nate this year. He already asked where you were this morning." Sam replied.
Callen put his pencil on the table and leaned back in his chair, "He knew things I never told him, not anyone Kensi. It was worse than talking to Hetty."
"Come on guys. It'll be fine. You'll see." Kensi replied refusing to let them scare her. She stood up and walked toward Nate's office determined to get this over with.
Nate was at his desk going over Kensi's file. He was reading over his notes about the cases she worked on this year and her debriefings after every case. He picked out the ones he knew she was still carrying around and started formulating a strategy for her interview. Kensi was always difficult to talk to because she was a fighter. Unlike Sam and Callen who would stonewall and shut down, Kensi would turn the tables on Nate every time until Nate felt defeated or surrendered and she won. He had to start small with Kensi, ask her easy questions that seemed emotionally safe to answer. If he started slow and built up the questions she might be more likely to trust him with the tougher answers, then again he was at a loss when it came to Kensi most days.
Just as Kensi walked in Nate finished with his processing and strategy for her interview. "Perfect timing." Nate smiled from his desk.
Kensi rolled her eyes, crossed her arms and walked toward Nate's desk. "Alright Nate, let's get this over with, but if you think for a minute you're going to destroy me like you did with Sam and Callen, then I'm walking out. Psych eval or not, I'm not letting you tear me apart like you did them." Kensi was more riled up than Nate expected.
"I don't understand? What are you talking about?" Nate asked with a confused look.
"Have you seen those guys out there? They look defeated. What the hell did you do to them anyway?" Kensi asked forcefully.
Nate shook his head, "What makes you think it was me?"
Kensi was peeved. Nate knew it was a tactic she was using to get him to back down, but he kept his composure calm and gentle despite her excitement. "They were fine until they talked to you yesterday. They said you had information on them to get them to talk. What are you trying to break us all down?"
Nate decided to change the subject. Kensi was stalling her interview with a conversation that wasn't going to go anywhere productive. "Are you done?"
Kensi was taken aback by Nate's authoritative demeanor. She sat back down and relaxed enough to catch her breath, but still on edge. She wanted to walk out, but Hetty told the entire team that if they didn't complete their interview with Nate to his satisfaction then they would be pulled from undercover work until they did. Apparently Nate wasn't the only one annoyed with the team's emotional shortcomings.
Nate sat in the chair facing his couch with Kensi's file on his knee looking over it. He began to speak without looking up from his file, "Here's how this is going to work Kensi. I'm going to ask you questions, some about your undercover work in the past year," Nate glanced up from his file, "and some about your personal life outside work."
"I know how this works Nate." Kensi replied annoyed.
"Ok?" Nate furrowed his eyebrows wondering why she was so tense. He continued, "You seem a little upset. Did I do something?"
Kensi glared at Nate, "Not yet."
"But you're anticipating that I'm going to say or do something to upset you?" Nate asked confused.
"Already doing it Nate." Kensi said still glaring at him. She wasn't initially angry when she walked in, but a small feeling of rage was brewing in her. She wasn't sure where it was coming from, but it scared her.
Nate smiled nervously, "Kensi what's going on? This isn't like you?"
Kensi shook her head and dropped her glare, "I don't know. I feel on edge."
"Did something happen last night?" Nate asked. He knew Kensi had many wild nights out and they didn't always end in her favor.
"I didn't do anything. Maybe I'm just PMSing. Whatever. Just ask your questions Nate." Kensi said trying to shrug off the fury in the pit of her stomach.
Nate wanted to push for more information, but he respected Kensi's wishes to move on. "Well, you've been with NCIS now for eight months. How do you think you're fitting in with the team?"
"Fine, why?" Kensi said trying to turn the tables. The rage inside her was building. Nate noticed she was clenching her fists, but continued on with his questioning.
"Being the only female?" Nate asked with a more gentle, yet still firm demeanor.
Kensi flashed Nate a sharp glare, "Why does it always come back to my sexuality?"
"It doesn't." Nate said confused at Kensi's irritated demeanor again. Something seemed off about her today.
Kensi was getting a little more irritated. "Why do you and all the other men feel the need to constantly bring up the fact that I am not one!" Kensi raised her voice. Apparently Nate had stumbled onto an issue that he was unaware existed. Kensi had stood up and was now pacing and breathing heavy, and Nate was becoming concerned. This was supposed to be a simple topic for Kensi, one they've talked about many times before.
"I'm sorry Kensi. I didn't mean to put your sexuality front and center. It's just…" Kensi cut Nate off real fast almost ignoring anything he was saying.
"Every flipping op every single case and I'm sent in undercover for the sole purpose of being a woman. My only use on this team is as a sex toy, never mind my undercover skills, my resourcefulness and god forbid, my strength." Kensi continued to rattle on and on about how she felt mistreated and almost used.
Nate was baffled because he knew Kensi didn't really believe what she was saying. She knew the team valued her, so why was she so upset? The team definitely didn't view her as a sex toy, Nate thought that was an interesting choice of words. He had no clue what had just happened and why Kensi was so set off by this topic. He was under the impression that her sharp attitude, when she walked in, was a rouse to throw him off. Maybe he was wrong. There had been no indication leading up to this that explained her reaction to his mundane question or why she was seemingly not stopping anytime soon. He decided to continue observing her, listen to what she was saying, and just allow her to get it all out or wear herself out, which ever came first.
Before he knew it Kensi was talking in Spanish, then another language which Nate could only assume was Russian. Rambling non-stop, Nate wondered if this was another defense mechanism to distract him from asking her anymore questions. He knew Kensi was a great actor, portraying anyone in any type of mood. She could cry on cue, laugh, get angry and even ramble like she was now, but Nate could tell their was a difference between this Kensi and the one he watched doing this undercover. This was real and it was raw emotion.
Finally he stood up and walked over waiving his hands speaking loudly, "Ok! Ok Kensi! Whoa!" He lowered his voice after he caught her attention and spoke softly, "Slow down. You're making me dizzy." Kensi simply looked at Nate in shock as if she had just been stabbed. Did she really just spill in front of Nate? Did she really just lose it? She felt dizzy and started wobbling. Nate caught her before she fell to the floor and walked her over to the couch sitting down next to her with his hand on her back. "You ok?"
Kensi shook her head, but still didn't say anything. Nate spoke gently to her for fear she might explode on him again. "What's going on Kens? What just happened?"
Kensi started dry heaving and then clutched her stomach and ran to the trash bin. "Oh my God Nate. I think I'm gonna be sick." She heaved her breakfast burrito into his trash bin for several minutes then collapsed on the floor from exhaustion. Nate sat on the sofa wondering what it was he stumbled onto that scared Kensi so much. It was more than her sexuality. Nate stood up and walked over to Kensi. Kensi looked up with sad eyes, "Maybe I should go home. I don't feel so hot Nate." Nate hesitated. Sending Kensi home was not his first choice.
He ran his hand across her forehead brushing some strands of hair out of her eyes, "You don't look so good Kensi. Come sit down on the sofa and I'll go get you a glass of water and then if you still feel queezy I'll drive you home."
Kensi nodded and went to lie on the sofa. Nate left the room to fetch some water for Kensi. He felt awful. Less than twenty minutes and already his interview with Kensi was heading in the wrong direction. He had a bad feeling about today. What was it he was missing?