You are Kankri Vantas and you have decided that nothing is alright!
#trigger warning #not okay #feelings
You have seen Cronus a total of twice in the last four months and it was in the presence of that troll girl. You can't even think of her name because it makes you think of how they laugh and hug and talk together. Cronus has barely even tried to reach out to you. Even when he does, you can't respond. You've never felt like this before. Hollow.
#trigger warning #feelings #pale feelings #hurt #lies
You've felt alone and abandoned before but not quite like this. Not even the presence of Porrim made this better. Speaking of Porrim, she has made it her mission to find out what was wrong. She didn't know it had to do Cronus, but she knew it was something. You told her that someone online had him upset and that was all you would say.
#trigger warning #confrontation #foul language #tears #self pity
Cronus showed up at your hive today alone. He looked worried and you wish you could smile but you looked at him passively.
"Hey Chief. How's everything been going? You haven't been around the beach in a long time." Cronus had his hands stuffed in his pockets.
Fuck, you just want to hug him and be held by him.
"I didn't want to risk triggering you with my abrupt presence. I apologize for all the times I have done that. It was rude and I should have known better." You sigh and started to shut the door. "If you will excuse me, I was working on a new sermon."
You shut the door before Cronus can do anything. You lock it as tears start to fall from your eyes. You wipe them away as you walk into your kitchen. You were pathetic. You could have let him in. You were being rude all because you were trying to distance yourself from him.
You didn't want to feel like this anymore! Fuck! Why were you being like this? It didn't make any sense. You were supposed to refuse these feelings… You're a disgrace.
You sink to the floor and silently cry until you fall asleep curled up in a ball.