Katia's note: Okay readers, I should just point out that the first five or so chapters have already been written and just need editing. Updates shall be regular at first, but then may slow down quite a bit. Especially since as I have a stupid art project to complete. *insert angry emote*

Oh and if anyone is expecting a serious USxUK romance fic then I'm afraid you'll be bitterly disappointed. This is pure (unoriginal) crack; it gets worse and worse as it goes along. Kudos to anyone who got the joke already. Most likely I'll be shot for making the 10000000th parody of it.

...Meh.

A big thankyou to my reviewers!

Alfred's note: COMMUNISTZ STOP FLAMING MY STORY OK! odderwize thanx 2 da capitalist ppl 4 da good reviews. Oh yeah by the way I don't own this or the lyrics for Human League.

On the night of the concert I put on a grey hoodie with a picture of the American flag on it (since as London was too cold for just a T-shirt), jeans and red, white and blue sneakers. I took a quick swig from my bottle of coca cola. (The hotel had offered me tea. My answer had been "HELL NAWW".) Thankfully hamburgers are also quite popular in England, so I called room service to bring me up one, practically ate the whole thing in one bite, then read some marvel comic books while I waited for my food to go down. I drank the rest of my coca cola, looked at my watch and realised it was time to leave.

Always the gentleman, Arthur was waiting outside by his silver ford. I didn't doubt that he would hold the door open for me as well. Not that I needed it of course.

"Hi Arthur!" I shouted loudly, causing several heads to turn.

"Hi Alfred," he replied then, as predicted, held the door open. A grin spread across my face (but a cute/charming one. Not a creepy one like that commie bastard Russia's.)

There was a lot of traffic, so it took us a while to get to Wembley Stadium. We managed to pass the time by listening to Iggy's Beatles CD. Being a nation an' all, he was able to get us VIP passes. I laughed at the suckers queuing up as we ran straight through the doorway. A crowd had already started to form, but we managed to push past them to get to our front seats. It wasn't long before there was noise everywhere; people were shouting loudly and cheering even though the band weren't even on yet. Wow. And I thought my people were rowdy.

Inevitably, the noise escalated as the band walked on stage. Damn, they'd probably burnt a nice new hole in the ozone layer with all that hairspray. They started off by singing my favourite song of theirs:

"Keep feeling fascination,

Passion burning, love so strong,

Keep feeling fascination,

Looking, learning, moving on." (I don't own the lyrics to that song.)

"Ian is so hot." I shouted to Arthur, pointing to the guitarist as he played, filling the stadium with the amazing sound.

That was when I noticed a sadness on Arthur's features. It was impossible to miss.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I yelled. And then I suddenly caught on. Wow. Did Iggy really like me that much? I smirked.

"It's okay Iggy. I don't like him better than YOU."

He looked at me with a sheepish smile. "Really?"

I was a little surprised when he suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulder, but hey! I wasn't complaining.

"Really." I smiled back. "Besides, I don't even know Ian and last thing I heard he was dating some Russian bitch. I fucking hate that commie bitch." I said in disgust, thinking of her ugly communist face.

We had a really great time that night, dancing with the crowd and me singing along loudly to the music. Well, to the songs I knew at least. After the concert Arthur used his VIP pass to get us backstage. We got autographs as well as concert Ts.

Finally, at 2AM, we decided it was time to go back. Arthur led me to his car and I settled down into the seat, my eyelids starting to feel heavy as the Beatles lulled me to sleep with "Hey Jude." I saw Arthur tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, obviously wanting to be out of the traffic.

When we were finally free I thought he would take be back to the hotel, but instead he took a completely different turning.

"Hey. What?" I jerked up in my seat.

He kept his eyes straight ahead. "Almost there now."

"Almost WHERE?" I started to panic, but he didn't reply. The breath caught in my throat, however, as my gaze drifted out the window. The view of London was beautiful, especially the way the city lights reflected in the river... Thames, was it? As I struggled to remember the name of the non-American river Arthur pulled the vehicle to a stop, unstrapped himself, then got out. Curiously, I followed him. It turned out we were standing on a bridge over the river whatsitsname and Arthur put both hands on the railing, gazing out at the lights of his city.

I approached him.

"What the hell buddy?" I demanded, not liking the chill in the air. The Human League SO should have played in the States. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around my torso.

"Alfred?" Arthur turned to face me.

"What?" my tone sounded more sharp than I'd meant it to.

Fortunately Arthur didn't seem to take any notice. Instead he inhaled slightly, as if to calm his nerves, before leaning in close. I looked into his green eyes and then, as if Arthur had used one of his weird spells, my anger and trepidation suddenly evaporated.

The next moment his lips were on mine.

I'm not sure how long we kissed for but... wow. Who would have thought old man Iggy could kiss so good? I knew I could have stayed like that for a lot longer, but unfortunately fate is cruel. It was a loud British voice that cut sharply across the mood, shattering it into pieces.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU WANKERS DOING?"

It was...Arthur!

Feel free to flame me/Alfred!

Also the lyrics MAY be incorrect, but seriously flames would be lulz.