DETENTION

CHAPTER 2

Mr. Juniku Fudo shuffled his papers in annoyance; That Son Goten was a little troublemaker. He continued the roll call where he had left off before being interrupted.

"Trunks Briefs?"

"Sir?" Trunks began dishearteningly. "May I ask a question sir?"

"What is it Briefs?"

"May I leave the classroom?" Trunks asked a little embarrassedly.

Mr. Fudo sighed. "What is it this time Briefs? Last week you managed to leave the classroom on no less than five consecutive occasions and didn't return for an hour or two. On the first occasion, you claimed that you had a bout of Temporary Tourettes Syndrome. Then you left the room to go to the nurse's office with a case of Severe Pneumonia and later, an unfortunate case of Mexican Barking Disease. And then you took Wednesday and Thursday off because it was the Hamburglar's birthday. It couldn't have been on Wednesday AND Thursday! So which is it!?"

"But sir . . ."

"Briefs, what makes you think I'm going to let you skip class today?"

Trunks sighed; he was beat. There was no way he was going to get out of today's class. "Nothing, sir."

Mr. Fudo continued. "Sean Sen' Burger?"

"Sir." Came the response.

"Marron Chestnut?"

Silence.

"Marron Chestnut?"

Still nothing came. Mr. Fudo was staring right at Marron. He knew she was present today. She just wasn't paying any attention. He tried a little louder, "Marron Chestnut?"

Marron wasn't listening. She was talking really fast to Uub. "If I leant back in this chair, and like fell and stuff, would you like catch me and stuff?"

"Omigod! I would like SO save your life!" Uub responded as equally fast. "Do you wanna try right now?"

"Okay!"

Marron made to lean back. "No wait, I can't do it. I love you too much to challenge my trust for you and stuff."

"But we should practise!" Uub insisted, still talking really fast. "What if an alien spaceship had invaded earth and made all earthlings their mind slaves and all the news reporters rushed to the news stations to present the news that an alien spaceship had invaded earth and made all earthlings their mind slaves and it was broadcasted on TV so the teachers would have to wheel a TV and stuff into this classroom to show all the students the tragedy that had befallen our peaceful planet and you were so surprised that you fell off your chair and I wasn't trained well enough and prepared emotionally to catch you?"

Mr. Fudo was listening to their conversation, as were the rest of the class, and sighed. He hated it when they went on like this; there was no way to stop them.

"Oh, Uub, you're so smart and stuff." Marron cooed. "Let's practise in the event that an alien spaceship invades earth and makes all earthlings their mind slaves and stuff."

"Okay! You go first!"

"No, you go first!"

"No, you go first!"

"No, you go first!"

"No, you go first!"

"No, you go first!"

Uub paused. "No, your go first!"

"Lets go at the same time!" Marron suggested excitedly.

"Okay!" Uub agreed. And with that, the two simultaneously tipped themselves back on their chairs and hit the floor. They started rolling around in hysterics.

Mr. Fudo rubbed his temples in an attempt to calm down. He continued. "Izzie Crème?"

"Here."

"Sue Da?"

"Present."

"Fran Che Frys?"

"Sir."

"Mike Shake?"

"Banana!" Mike shouted. Everyone stared at him. He blushed. "Oh, I get the game now . . ."

"Goten Son?"

Goten snored peacefully from his desk at the back of the room.

"Pan Son?" Pan raised her hand and waved it for effect. "What is it now Son?"

"Sir, I must object to your method of addressing each of us purely by our last names as you demonstrated with Trunks earlier. I feel that our individual names are assigned especially and are unique to our inner nature. Ignoring our first names and calling us bluntly by our last name crushes our fragile young spirits and may lead to intense therapy in our later lives as we have lost our identity."

Bura Briefs looked up from filing her nails. "Son, what are you on about? You're always prattling on about some useless fact, what is it this time?"

Pan turned to her angrily. "I would thankyou to respect my opinions and call me by my FIRST name, Bura."

Bura immediately switched to the defence. "Fine. I'll call you by your real name, Douche Bag."

"Sir, how can you allow such brutal spirit-crushing bullying to continue in a public school system?" Pan implored to the teacher.

Mr. Fudo ignored her. Pan did this nearly every day. "Pete Zah?"

"Here, sir."

"Finally," Mr. Fudo sighed in relief as he put his roll call book away. "Lets get on with today's lesson . . ." Mr. Fudo stood and approached the black board, picking up a piece of chalk as he went. "Now class, please pull out your History Books."

There was a resounding groan (and a little snoring from Goten) as everyone reached into his or her desks and pulled out their textbooks.