Chapter 2: Questions of Honor

When Leonardo heard the unmistakable sound of the Lair's metal door grinding open, he glanced wearily up from his tea, feeling as if the sound he heard was actually the grating wear of his very last, very raw nerve. He stared coldly at his hot head brother who was silently making his way to the refrigerator.

Feeling the tension that was buzzing in the air, seeing the wound stiffness of their brother's positions, and the heat of cold glares pounding through the room, Don and Mikey drew their eyes downward, suddenly became engrossed with their cereal, and prayed the previous night's argument would have been forgotten by now.

But the look in Leo's eyes told all. He wasn't going to let this go so easily.

"You didn't come home last night" he said coldly, dryly, taking another sip of his tea.

Raphael flinched, staring daggers into the freezer, and snatched out an ice pack. Slamming the freezer door shut, he turned on his heels to face his brother, throwing him a glare that was growing more viscous by the second.

"Yeah, what of it" he said slyly, plopping the ice pack on his now swollen and quickly bruising knuckles.

Leo studied his brother for a moment, eyeing the ice pack and the bruises underneath, as well as a nasty gash that now graced his forearm. It had stopped bleeding a while ago, but there was no questioning where or how he had gotten it.

"I thought we talked about this, Raph" he said with chill disappointment, shifting his weary gaze into his brother's eyes.

Feigning disinterest, Raph gazed at the clock on the microwave and sighed. He'd been awake a whole twenty four hours, and it took all his strength just to keep his heavy eyelids from closing. Still nursing his bruised hand, he pulled out a chair and plopped down at the kitchen table in his usual spot between Don and Mikey.

The whole room reeked of tension.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Raph looked slowly upward towards Leo's expectant gaze, waiting with infuriating patience for his response. He threw a glare at him from across the table, shifted his ice pack and yawned loudly before he responded.

"I don't know what you want me ta say, Leo" he said lowly. "It's my life an' I'm gunna do whatever the fuck I want. I ain't gunna stop just because you told me to."

Leo's eyes narrowed and he let out an exasperated sigh. "Why do you have to be so impossible, Raphael" he huffed with frustration. "Do you have any idea what kind of danger you could get yourself into?"

There was a pause as Leo glared into his teacup, searching for an answer, then slowly shaking his head when he found none. All three of his brothers could see the muscles in his shoulders tense before he slammed the cup down onto the table and shot a look at Raph. "You have no idea, do you? You just can't grasp the concept that your actions have consequences. Every time you go out there and act like a maniac, you're endangering this family."

Raph could feel the sleeplessness suddenly snap out of him. Now all he could feel was his returning rage. His ice pack abandoned, and the pain in his knuckles forgotten, he held fast onto the edges of the table until he fingers went numb.

Leo was glancing into his teacup again, turning it gingerly in his hand and frowning at the crack that twisted through the porcelain from being slammed down upon the table. "It's not like I should even expect you to understand" he sighed quietly "you're always too preoccupied with yourself to even think about what you're doing to this family."

Suddenly, Raph released the table and shot to his feet, chair clattering to the ground noisily behind him, making everyone but Leo flinch. He narrowed his eyes. "You think I don't care about this family!" he roared "you think I'm too selfish to even give a damn?"

Leo didn't flinch. He just sat there, coolly staring back at Raph, never moving a muscle. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant" he replied, only a hint of anger tainting his placid facade.

To the untrained eye, Leo seemed unfazed, uncaring, incapable of anger. But his brothers- they could feel the oncoming storm. They could tell by the slight twitch of his fingers rested upon the table, the tightly wound coils of the muscles in his neck, the square set of his jaw. He was reaching his breaking point, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

The air was thick with something like electricity, making it hard to breathe, as two sets of eyes darted between their feuding brothers, waiting for their queue to take cover when the fight turned physical.

And by the look in Raph's eyes, it wasn't going to take long.

"You little bastard" Raphael fumed, and with those three words, he was upon him, screaming just inches from his brother's face.

"You think you can control me, Fearless? You think what I do out there every night don't do no good fore nobody? It does, dammit! Every fucking night I do good for this city that you're to afraid to do. Ain't so fearless after all, are ya, Leo? To scared ta get your pretty little swords dirty?" He took a step back and gasped mockingly. "God… what would Splinter think if ya actually helped someone for a change?" Anger blazed in his eyes as he ranted, heart pounding deafeningly in his ears. "What would he think if you went to the shady side of town and broke up a drug ring?" he gasped again "Perfect little Leo? In a crack house… No. He's too honorable ta take that crap off the streets, savin' peoples lives that don't concern him."

Now Leo was standing, staring unblinkingly at his brother. "It isn't our fight, Raph" he said as calmly as he could manage, speaking through clenched teeth. "What you do, the way you fight, it is dishonorable. It's a disgrace to our family and our training. It's a disgrace to the ways of Bushido."

"Honor my ass" Raphael spat, emphasis on every syllable as he pressed an accusing finger into his brother's plastron. Leo took a step backwards, that same dangerous look flickering in his eyes. Raph growled lowly. "Quit the act, Leo, you don't know tha first thing about honor."

Before he could pull away, Leo reached up and grabbed his brother's wrist, holding it tight, drawing him closer. A consuming fire quickly swept through him, darkening his features. "Don't you ever question my honor, Raphael" he seethed refusing to relax his grip.

"Let me go, Leo" Raph warned, his voice a low, feral growl. His glare was just inches from Leo's, burning holes into each other's skulls "or I swear ta god I'll kick your ass."

But Leo just stared, silent, cold, and unmoving, pouring silent rage into his brother's eyes. Raphael drew back with his other hand for a bone-crushing punch that was halted in midair before it could deal its striking blow.

From behind, Master Splinter had cleared his throat.

Forgetting their attempts at disinterest, Don and Mikey's eyes grew ever wider as they looked on without a trace of shame, glancing between Leo and Raph, then back to Master Splinter. They knew it would get ugly.

Leo quickly released Raph's wrist as if it had burned him, then bowed deeply to his master. "Good morning, Sensei" he said solemnly, then turned back to his seat at the kitchen table as if nothing had even happened.

Don and Mikey just gawked, unable to peel their eyes away. Their cereal had grown soggy long ago.

"What do you make of this, Raphael?" the old rat said cryptically, turning his glance at his fuming son, arms crossed tightly over his plastron with his teeth grit. The three remaining brothers could see his jaw muscles working beneath his skin as he bit the anger back.

"What's that, Sensei?"

He was trying to act clueless, maybe convince him it was the tv he had heard and not the savage argument Leo had so perfectly brushed away. But Raph couldn't let it go that easily. His voice was tainted with rage.

Splinter eyed him, his expression unreadable, and yet, his eyes seemed to pierce right through him. When he spoke, his voice was firm. "I heard the argument, my sons, and I will not tolerate it in my house anymore. Such negativity does not belong within these walls. You are brothers, there is no reason for such bitterness."

Leo was on his feet again, his attempt at indifference shattering to pieces. Now, he just looked outraged.

"Master Splinter" he sighed in exasperation, brow knit in his apparent frustration "Raphael has been disappearing every night this week. He turns his cell phone off and doesn't come home until morning. I'm sorry to involve you in our arguments, Sensei, but I believe he is endangering the lives of this family and himself."

If Raph wasn't angry before, he was now. His aura of rage was practically visible to the naked eye. "You little shit" he seethed between clenched teeth, just loud enough for Leo to hear and quiet enough so that Splinter wouldn't knock him upside the head.

Leo's glare was gone from his eyes now, replaced only with pure and genuine look of concern. And now Splinter was looking at him in the same way. It made his gut feel like it was swimming laps inside him. At that very moment, he would give anything, absolutely ANYTHING not to be in that room under the weight of those nauseating stares.

"Screw this" he huffed, turning for the door "I'm goin' ta bed."

But Splinter's rough paw was on his carapace, causing him to turn. His gaze was enough to root his feet to the ground. "You will stay, Raphael."

Before he exploded at his Sensei and dug himself a deeper hole, he had to release the frustration boiling his bones. Turning around behind him, he glared at Don and Mike still ogling at the scene from the kitchen table. If their eyes were any wider, he'd swear they were nocturnal.

"What the hell are you two lookin' at? GET OUT!" he roared, sending his younger siblings into a fit of panic. With a clang of dropped spoons and the hurried scraping of wooden chairs, the two turtles sprinted out of the room as if it had recently caught on fire.

With a small satisfied sigh, Raph turned his glare back to Leo, then glanced at Master Splinter who was looking quite befuddled.

"Sorry Sensei" he growled "they were gettin' on my nerves."

The old rat looked defeated the way he nodded sadly and turned his eyes to the floor. "Perhaps another time I will instruct you on the art of discretion, Raphael."

Raphael's shoulders slumped slightly. He was getting tired of being lectured real quick, and having Leo there, peeking over Sensei's shoulder like some kind of prissy parakeet was really grating on his last nerve. For good measure, he threw him another venomous glare then turned his gaze back to Splinter.

"Leo just don't understand what I'm doin' up there. He thinks I got no honor fightin' anyone other than tha Foot. But there's people worse than the Foot out there Sensei, an' people worth savin' too."

Splinter nodded solemnly. For a fleeting moment, Raph lit up like a Christmas tree because for the first time in his life, it looked like his father actually understood what he was saying. He was busy preparing Leo's victory speech until the old rat began to speak and his heart sunk to the floor.

"The surface world is indeed a place of many evils, Raphael. Many innocent people suffer at the hands of the wicked every day. But it is not our duty to play gods in the world of men, my son. This battle is not your own."

"N-Not my own!" he stuttered angrily, shooting Leo another glare. But he was too busy looking pleased with himself to notice. Damn it Sensei, why'd you always hafta take his side? He fumed internally. "you can't expect me ta just watch from the sidelines just because the fight ain't mine! I make it mine, Sensei. If I didn't help, these slime bags'll just walk free up there. I can't just look tha other way! I won't !"

His fists were balled up against his sides, but at least his apparent, terrifying anger was enough to wipe that smug look off Leo's face.

"I do not expect you to watch idly by as crimes take place in our city, Raphael."

His fists unclenched. He couldn't believe his ears. "Really?"

"Yes, my son. I believe that if you cannot witness these crimes, then you will not feel the need to intervene. You are not leave the Lair unless you are accompanied by your brothers."

Raph gawked, utterly horrified as his sensei's words pierced through him like hot daggers. In one fail swoop, one single sentence, all his freedom was stripped away. "Sensei! That's not fair! I can't stay down here, I'll go insane!"

"You can and you will" said the old rat firmly. "Until you prove to me that you will take responsibility for your actions and accept that you are not invincible, you will remain below ground. Before then, two hours of extra training each day."

At that moment, every curse in his vocabulary ran through his brain, silently directing every one of them at Leo. His fists were clenched again and this time he couldn't ignore the pain. Oh, Leo's so gunna pay for this.

"Fine" he spat through clenched teeth, knowing that soon he would explode. He tried to turn around, to walk the other way, to ignore the world like Leo did so well, but he couldn't. He can't. With no one left to blow up at, he flipped the entire kitchen table on its side with a deafening clatter as everything on top shattered onto the ground, leaving behind a battle field of soggy cereal and broken glass.

"Raphael!" Splinter said sharply, making him flinch. "Your anger is a poison. Learn to control yourself."

"But I can't, Master Splinter! I can't just sit around when tha scum of the earth is walkin' free! I can't stay down here when I can do somethin' about it!"

The old rat sighed deeply when he saw the anguish behind his son's eyes. He truly did mean well, but letting him carry down the path he was heading would surely get him killed, injured or exposed. Of his four sons, Raphael was by far the most head strong and impulsive. He was passionate about his beliefs to the point that he would endanger himself first and think of the risks later. Every time he vanished, he would return with injuries that increased in severity each time. It made the old rat's heart leap within his chest just to think what would happen the next time, wondering if that night would be the night he never returned.

He sighed wearily at the thoughts that were coursing through his brain, eating his mind away until only fear remained. Now, he had learned to only expect the worst, because it almost always came true.

"I fear for you, my son" he said quietly, watching his son's breathing slow with weary eyes. His fists unclenched and expression softened.

Behind him, Leonardo silently left the room.

"I'll be fine, Sensei. Those goons don't know tha first thing about fighting."

The old rat relaxed slightly. Raphael's voice had lost its cutting edge. "Yes, though these criminals also know nothing of honor. They will use tactics that do not obey the code of Bushido. They fight only to kill, and they will use any means necessary to do so."

"Really Sensei" he shrugged "it ain't nothin'. Takes a lot more than that to take me down."

Before he could blink, Splinter snatched his arm with one wiry paw, holding on as if he would soon fade away. There was a look of fear lingering in his eyes, running deep enough to make his stomach swim with guilt.

"These threats are real, Raphael, though you do not seem to understand. You cannot deflect bullets, your skin is not steel against a blade's cutting edge."

"Yeah, you're tellin' me" Raph said glumly, examining the gash on his arm. At least it wasn't painful, but it did look gnarly.

Master Splinter's ears drooped a little at the tips as he gave a long exhale. The lesson was obviously going unlearned for now, but soon enough he would have to break through, or risk losing the life of his son.

No matter what, he would never be willing take that risk, no matter how much good in the world it created. As far as he was concerned, there were two worlds: the world of men and the world below the surface, his world. And as always, his world and his family would come before the world of man, no matter what consequences it may hold.

No evil in the world of men could be great enough to willingly cost the lives of his sons. Never would he allow such a thing to happen. That was why he had to be so harsh to Raphael. His punishments were meant to teach the lessons only harsh reality could speak so well. He could only hope he would listen hard enough to learn before it was too late.

"Please allow Donatello to look at your injuries, my son" he said with a sigh "then I will see you in the dojo. Your first lesson will start today."

Raph rolled his eyes before making a small, impolite bow to his master. "Ok, Sensei" he said gruffly, then turned and strode out the door on the way to Donatello's lab.