A/N – Wow. The response to this story has completely blown me away. Thank you so much for the review and follows.

Here's the next chapter. Again, if you don't like angst, you should turn back now, and just for those of you who are hoping that the angst is over soon, I'm sorry, but it's going to get worse. :0

XXXXXXXX

Done Waiting Chapter 2

She was miserable. As she walked into the precinct the next day, she knew that she had made a horrible mistake. She shouldn't have pushed him away, she should have told him that she loved him too and that she was ready. Of course she wasn't ready, but she could have faked it for a while as long as they took it slow. Of course hindsight is 20/20.

She greeted the boys with a halfhearted wave and took her seat at her desk. They hadn't had a body drop since the bomb case. Gates had started to assign the cases that had come in to other teams to give Beckett's team a chance to recuperate after the stress of the bomb case. Beckett hated the down time, and today was only going to be worse. Paperwork meant a lot of time to dwell on how in the last 24 hours she had completely ruined her life.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Esposito and Ryan approaching her desk.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan said in greeting. "Where's Castle? Have you heard from him?"

"Yeah, where's writer boy been? Something's up these last few days."

She might as well tell them, at least a part of it. "He won't be shadowing me any longer, guys. We terminated our partnership last night."

"What did he do?" Espo said gruffly, like he was preparing to go kick Castle's ass.

"Nothing, Javi, nothing. I don't really want to talk about it, okay? It's tough enough for me as it is."

"Kate? You know you can tell us anything, right?" Kevin told her.

"I know. Listen, let's see if we can't wrap this paperwork up today and get out of here early. I could use a few hours off."

"Sounds good," Javi said as he pulled Ryan back towards their desk, recognizing that Beckett was asking for some space.

For the next four hours, Kate tried to do her paperwork, but the words were blurring together and all she could do is look at his chair. She sighed, got up and walked towards the elevator. She really needed to talk to Lanie.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lanie looked up when Kate entered the morgue. "Hey, Lanes. Do you have a few minutes?"

"Sure, honey. Javi called and told me that something was up with you and Castle. What happened?"

"It's a long story. I guess it starts with my shooting. He told me he loved me that day."

"What? You said you didn't remember your shooting, why did you lie?"

"I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't just tell Castle that I remembered his proclamation of love, I had other things to deal with. I wasn't ready for more. And after lying to him, I couldn't very well tell the truth to anyone else. I'm sorry for lying."

"It doesn't sound like it's me that needs the apology. Is that why Castle left?"

She sat down in the chair next to Lanie's desk, and drew her hand through her hair. "No, not really. It was the catalyst, I guess. He heard me tell a suspect that I remembered, which is why he's been so distant. I told him when I came back that I'd like him to wait for me to be ready for a relationship. I really want to try with him, you know, but I needed to be whole first.

Anyways, he found out, and that's why he has been acting different these last few days. Last night he came over and we talked, and I royally fucked it all up."

"What did you do?"

"He told me he was done waiting for me, and when I said I still wasn't ready to have a relationship with him, he said he had to move on."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I told you he wouldn't wait forever."

"I know. I know," she sobbed. "He'd probably still be here, but I said something horrible that made it sound like all he wanted from me was sex. He was so angry with me then. Frankly, I'm angry with myself. I should have never said that. Then he asked if I still wanted him to be my partner."

"And you said yes, of course, right?"

"No. I said no."

"What!? You don't want him around anymore?"

"I do. I don't know why I said no. It isn't what I meant to say," Kate said, standing up and starting to pace back and forth in front of Lanie's desk, still crying. "And I didn't go after him. He said goodbye and left. I don't know what I'm going to do, Lanes. In the last 24 hours, I hurt the one person in this world who could love me for me, and pushed him away forever. There's no coming back from this."

"Kate, I don't really know what to tell you. It sounds as if Castle may be gone forever."

"I can't lose him, Lanie. I can't live without him. What the hell was I thinking? I should have never made him wait. I knew he loved me two years ago. We should have gotten together then. I'm such an idiot."

Lanie got up and pulled her friend into a hug, "I'm sorry, girl, for what it's worth. I'm so sorry. Maybe you should try to talk to him. I wouldn't wait too long, the more distance from this there is, the harder it will be to make amends."

xxxxxxxxx

Later that night, Beckett decided that she had had enough. She called him. He didn't answer. She called Alexis. She didn't answer. She called Martha. And she didn't answer. Great, the whole Castle clan is pissed at me, she thought.

She decided that she couldn't wait, so she grabbed her keys and her bag and decided to catch a cab over to his loft. Once the cab pulled outside of his building, she paid and got out, long legs making strides towards the front door.

With what she was here to do, she was oddly calm. She was beyond the point of pride, and all she felt was fear. Fear that she couldn't fix them. Fear that she had finally pushed him away one too many times and that he wouldn't ever come back to her. That fear made what she had to do much easier. She was going to beg.

On the elevator ride up to the fifth floor, she composed her opening salvo. She needed to be brave this time, and fight for the thing she wants above all else. As she walked towards his door she immediately noticed something was amiss. The door was open, with light shining out into the hallway. She walked up to it and pushed it gently open. "Castle?" she called out.

No answer. What the hell was going on?

xxxxxxxxxx

a/n - Don't hate me for the cliff hanger. Next chapter soon. Reviews would make me love you forever.