FUN FACT: I used certain words a whole lot more than I do now. One of them was "anyways" which I fix in basically all my stories nowadays, along with "&" instead of "and". Tell me in the reviews what other weird writing quirks you fateful readers might notice.

Not much to say here, Dickelodeon sucks mamma jamma asshole and Jhonen Vasquez is still mad at Dickelodeon. El Tigre nearly put me in a coma.

Enjoy!

It was still a typical day at Tommy's ugly house, and everyone was still hella bored. Just a few minutes ago, Chuckie's eye was gouged out by a screwdriver and Kimi was killed by a drowsy, pissy Tommy who recently got the shit kicked out of his head by his former best friend, Chuckie. Phil and Lil sent the video of their fierce battle to America's Most Funniest Home Videos. The show, by the way, is about as funny as being raped by your family and friends. Bob Saget doesn't help much either.

But enough of the babies, let's see what the parents are up to.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my newest invention!" Stu announced to the others.

"GOOD LAWD!" Grandpa screamed out in terror at the "invention". He then died from the shock and the fact that he's an old moldy piece of shit.

"My, that is a very nice invention Stu." Didi complimented, except for the fact that she did not care about his retarded inventions that nearly kills everyone. In fact, she was on the computer, playing a game called Tibia. She was playing a level 78 sorcerer that, like all of her other characters on Tibia, is currently being hunted for pwning many players, this only got worse when she PK-ed the little brother of a VERY powerful player. That's why she is the most hunted player on Tibia today. Not like this has anything to do with anything, I just felt like pointing that out.

"I don't think that's a very child-appropriate toy you made Stu . . ." Chaz warned, he was disgusted by his "invention". It was a vibrator duct-taped to a hammer.

"My 5th birthday was very special, because asides the law-enforced bukkake we get every birthday, my mother rammed a dildo inside me. It was a very special birthday!" Kira proudly declared.

"This is America sweetie, you could go to jail if they find out that you are an illegal immigrant." Chaz nervously whispered. Everyone except the dead Grandpa and Stu were shocked at her saying that. This caused Didi to end up being PK-ed.

"I present to you, the witnesses, the Ass Hammer 9000! It is a vibrating dildo and a hammer, for when you get horny on the job; men will love this!" Stu shouted out. He was REALLY excited about this invention specifically, for Stu is a big flaming homo!

Grandpa just had a final bowel movement and made a big stinky that can be smelled in the entire house.

"Umm . . . don't you mean `women` on the job?" Betty jokingly inquired, she already knew that Stu is a fagbag the moment she saw his retarded purple hair.

"Nope, this isn't a toy; it's a man's tool to relieve himself on the job and in the house at the same time. It's way too much for wimpy women like you." Stu said in a sexist, prideful tone.

"How dare you!" Betty was pissed off at this claim, since she's a nazi feminist. She immediately threw her hot coffee and her used tampons at the sexist fag. Stu ran away screaming into the living room where the babies were sitting around with their thumbs up their asses. Betty followed.

They ran around in circles until Stu tripped on Kimi's dead baby ass. Betty took advantage of this and crammed some bloody tampons into Stu's ass, and since Betty is a woman, Stu did NOT like it.

"I'll teach you to insult a woman's pride, sexist PIG FAG!" Betty chanted her women's pride angry call like feminism programmed her to.

"AAAAHHHH! STOP! YOU'RE A GIRL AND YOU'RE VIOLATING MY SPECIAL PLACE!" Stu hollered.

"Oh, you want me to CUT YOUR EVIL MAN FAG DICK OFF INSTEAD?!"

"NO! PLEASE NOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Let me think about it…" Betty held down the man fag of a human being while thinking for a second.
"NO! KISS YOUR EVIL SEXIST MAN MEAT™ GOODBYE!" Betty shouted while menacing the transformed Tetsusaiga she magically brandished out of her Most Special Part (It's offensive to women if a man asks where and how they get objects in their Most Special Part.)

She pulled of his pants and man panties and, with one swoop, chopped off his Man Meat™.

No one was aware that Phil and Lil had taped the entire thing. Not even Chuckie, he randomly passed out from pain.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW I HAVE PROOF THAT THE SEXIST MAN FAG EXISTS, I'LL SURELY GET A FIVE DOLLAR DISCOUNT AT VICTORIA'S SECRET! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally for 5 minutes until she decided to go home and terrorize her husband, not caring that she is abandoning her two kids.

Betty was about to leave when Drew Pickles jumped through the window, completely naked. A purple, three-testicled dinosaur followed.

"We need that penis for the Goatse Contest, Betty." Drew said.

"YOU WILL NEVER GET MY TROPHY, YOU FAGS!" Betty screamed.

"Then we'll just have to take it from you, then." Drew replied. Betty tried to run but Barney the Purple Dinosaur started to jack off Drew. "Oooohh yess, just a bit mooooree!" Drew moaned.

Betty was almost at her car when Drew jizzed all over her and her car. "YOU SICK MAN PERVERTS! I'LL KILL Y-" Betty then noticed that this was no ordinary evil man jizz, but jizz with acidic properties that only homosexual men and penises are immune to. She and her stupid car dissolved; Betty was yelling and screaming blood freezing cries of pain, until only a puddle of man jizz was left.

Barney picked up Stu's former Man Meat™ and then, all of a sudden, a big spaceship made entirely out of dicks landed in front of Tommy's ugly house.

"Guys, job well done." Drew talked to the dicky-talky. Before he and Barney could get on the ship however, Stu ran outside to meet his brother.

"Please take me with you Drew, PLEASE!"

Drew looked at his dickless brother fro a few seconds, then he replied with "I think you've been watching too many cartoons."

Drew and Barney then blasted off into space, probably to a planet made of dicks and gay men.

"Why did you leave us Drew, WWHHHYYYYYYY!?" Stu shouted to the sky.

Meanwhile, back in the house, the babies and the adults have watched the whole event.

"That was fucked up . . ." They all said in unison.

"My father drove a-"

"SHUT UP!" Chaz yelled at Kira, sick and tired of what kind of sick shit that happened to her.

TO BE CONTINUED