Chapter warning: SoloM

If You Meet the Buddha...

While riding in Jeep the next day, Sanzo felt he was, in actuality, riding a bronco. The road was bumpy and filled with holes; there were too many for Hakkai to avoid. Lack of sleep and the jostling ride was making him extremely irritated. Seeming to sense this, the two in the back were quieter than usual. He should feel grateful, but instead even that annoyed him.

He idly scratched his lower back until Hakkai piped up in admonishment. "Don't scratch it Sanzo. You'll irritate it."

Sanzo did stop, letting his arm drop to his side again, mostly because he hadn't realized he'd done it and hated to show his discomfort. The way it pulled and itched reminded him a lot of his youth, and it was just plain annoying. He hated thinking back to that, all the scars that went unhealed… He hadn't had a healer like Hakkai back then. He hadn't had anyone back then, for that matter. No annoying, childish Goku… No pervert kappa…

"Perhaps you should let me heal it after all, Sanzo. I can tell it's bothering you."

Sanzo thought sarcastically to himself, 'What gave that away, I wonder?' What he said out loud was, "If I let you, will you shut up and die?"

Hakkai smiled. "Yes."

Sanzo grumbled something about camping.

"Very well, Sanzo."

The rest of the time passed idly. They didn't make it to the next town, so they got out of Jeep and prepared to camp. As they had expected, it was chilly, so they hunkered down for the biggest fire they could get away with. They laid blankets down so they wouldn't have to sleep on twigs and leaves.

After they were settled down and done with dinner, Hakkai went over to Sanzo and asked if he was ready. Wordlessly he pulled his arms from his robe's sleeves and let it hang from his waist, then lifted his shirt until the cut was visible. As Hakkai knelt beside him, he turned his head away and braced himself.

Hakkai hummed in disapproval after he'd inspected the cut. He lightly touched it before Sanzo saw dim light out of the corner of his eye and felt tingly pain in his side. He sucked in a breath. He hated when Hakkai used his chi on him. The spell caused a mix of pleasure and pain; the pleasure of the healing energy, and the pain of flesh stitching together. While it seemed like something one should just grudgingly endure, Sanzo couldn't help how amazing Hakkai's chi felt. It felt like a penetration, as if a part of Hakkai was entering him. He felt his face begin to burn with embarrassment, and he hoped it wasn't obvious. The initial touch was bad enough, but this…

When it was over Sanzo was left straining hard not to breathe heavily or show any sign of his…'discomfort.' He quickly put his shirt and robes back to the way they were; it was cold. As the healer stood he nodded at him in thanks. He got a polite smile in return before the other man went to his own blanket and sat cross-legged. They were huddled in a circle with the trees looming over them, far enough away from the road so they wouldn't be disturbed by any passing travelers. The others began talking, but Sanzo sat quietly, taking out his cigarettes and lighting up. As he smoked he willed himself to come down from the high of Hakkai touching him.

To distract himself and his hard-on he let himself get lost in memories. The first few times Goku had touched him— the first friendly touches he'd had for more than four years— had mentally shaken him; it had been impossible to stem the flood of emotion each time the younger man had been close. It took awhile, but he eventually got used to Goku touching him. He'd never had any friends in his youth, unless you could count Shuei— who was now dead— so it was hard to say if he would think of him as one. Whatever the case, it felt like he'd known the boy forever.

It was strange, but Sanzo had also been shocked by the feeling of Goku's chi. He could feel it when Goku touched him; as a monk he was susceptible to people's energy. (It was helpful when sensing youkai powers or would-be attackers sneaking up on him.) Goku's chi had been rock-solid and easy on his nerves, probably because it was kept at bay by the limiter on his head. He'd had a taste of his full energy before, when it had broken; pure energy had rolled off Goku in waves, powerful enough to feel from a few feet away. When he'd summoned the limiter he'd felt nothing, however, which was probably due to concentration.

His experience with Goku had not prepared him for the influence of Hakkai and Gojyo. Gojyo burned, either with truculent or sexual energy, depending on his mood. As for the other sealed youkai, despite Hakkai's gentle, polite way of contact, Sanzo could feel the dangerous power lurking just under the skin. He shivered at the residual effect Hakkai had left him with.

"Are you cold, Sanzo?"

Hakkai. Of course. Sanzo looked up, trying to give him his best steely look. "I'm fine."

Hakkai continued to stare at him, not put off by the look Sanzo was giving him. "Is something wrong?"

God, he hated how astute the guy was. "What in the hell would be wrong?" He sounded more annoyed than he probably should be.

Hakkai looked away, smiling awkwardly. "Indeed, it has been harrowingly mundane this past week. Other than the attack last night, it has been relatively quiet." Sanzo snorted at that; it was never quiet.

"D'ya think they're planning something, then?" piped up Goku.

"No doubt," Gojyo said, laying his hand atop Goku's head. Goku ignored Gojyo tousling his hair and looked at Sanzo with big eyes. "D'ya think Kougaiji might show up?" Hakkai laughed lightly and Gojyo grinned, shaking his head. Sanzo smoked his cigarette and ignored him.

Damn, but the erection in his jeans was getting unbearable. After another minute of pointless babble, he stood up and walked away toward a deeper part of the forest.

"Where ya goin' Sanzo! After we just said there'd be an attack!"

Sanzo heard Hakkai reassure Goku he as got farther and farther away. "I'm sure he's just 'going to the bathroom', Goku."

Once Sanzo thought he was far enough away from the others, he feverishly pulled up his robes and fumbled with the button and zipper of his jeans. He hissed as he pulled out his hard-on. The chill air made the heated flesh throb almost painfully. He leaned back on a tree and began pumping it with his hand. He was already leaking precum; it had been awhile since he'd relieved himself.

Besides ignoring his lustful side, he didn't want to risk the others hearing or smelling it on him, so he abstained for long periods of time. But right now he didn't care what they thought, he couldn't stand it. He fisted himself roughly and focused on the hard bark digging into his back, NOT the feeling of newly healed skin at his side, NOT thinking about healing energy. His attention wavered, and his thoughts turned to all the touches forced upon him in the past week.

The kappa's arm slung over his shoulders, warm even through his robes, sending a thrill through him. The kappa's hand who had done gods-knew-what gripping his shoulder to stop him from turning around. The feather-light touch on his side where the cut was. Hakkai's chi slipping into his body.

Sanzo came, spurting hard. The ferocity of it made him gasp and throw his head back. He sagged against the tree as he rode out his orgasm. When he became aware of his surroundings again he put himself away quickly. He grabbed a few leaves and wiped the cum off his fingers. Just then a voice came echoing from their campsite. "Oi, Sanzo! What's takin' so long? You takin' a shit?" Sanzo's temple throbbed at the intrusion into his privacy. He couldn't bring himself to respond. He dropped the leaves to the ground and walked back to the camp, trying to look as casual as possible.

He must have looked annoyed, because Gojyo continued his teasing. "Aww, Miss Princess is back. How was your vacation, your majesty?"

Sanzo brandished the gun with a fed-up look on his face. When Gojyo squeaked in alarm and tried to hide behind a much too small Goku, Sanzo huffed and sat on his blanket. Since his orgasm, he'd felt even more sleepy, so he lay down, still clutching his gun. The others resumed their conversation, though more quietly. He lied there with his back to them and the fire, willing sleep to transport him away from their banter for awhile. Eventually, after some time, the conversation turned to him, waking him from the slight doze he'd managed to attain.

"Ah yes, but besides that... Have you noticed how haggard Sanzo has looked lately?"

"Haggard? What the fuck does that mean?"

"Pardon me. It means tired, Gojyo. Have you not noticed?"

"Hey, and he looks sleepy too!" Goku piped up.

"We just said that, ya stupid ape!"

"Nah-uh, erogappa! He looks sleepy, not tired. There's a difference!"

"What do you mean, Goku?"

"You know! He hasn't been sleepin'. When I first met him he didn't sleep very well. It's gotten worse again."

"Must be hard to sleep with that stick up his ass all the time."

"Gojyo, this is serious. I am very concerned about his health. He has been rather, um... as Goku said, sleepy."

"None of us have gotten much sleep, though. Not with this treatment," Gojyo said, probably indicating the forest they were camped in.

"That's a valid point, but I think there is more to it than that. Perhaps we should talk to him."

"You realize who you're talkin' about? Hell no! You know he won't tell us shit, Hakkai. He never does."

Hakkai sighed. "I know, but he isn't quite as reticient as you make him sound, Gojyo."

"D'ya think it has something to do with that Kami guy?"

"I don't know, Goku. That's possible."

"Well, good luck, and you can do somethin' without me. I ain't gonna be a part of this kamikaze mission."

Hakkai made a disapproving noise in his throat, but otherwise didn't push it.

Sanzo couldn't help but scoff in his thoughts. So what if he hadn't slept? That was no big deal. He'd dealt with similar shit before, without their help. He didn't need them butting into his business.

Besides, they'd just make it worse.