Two: Penalty.

Gothi had shooed everyone out of Hiccup's room as she set to work saving his life, his father and Gobber in attendance-though the blacksmith's deliberate propensity for misinterpreting her runes earned him a series of blows from her staff to an ever-expanding repertoire of expletives. Toothless had insisted on being there too, curled in the corner of Hiccup's room, big green eyes sad and worried. Stoick sighed, watching the old woman rip the knife out with surprising strength to a scream of pain from Hiccup and holding the trembling shape tenderly. Hiccup's face buried into his father's muscular shoulder as the Chief tightened his grip on the young man.

"She says the knife hit the bone and didn't damage his heart and lungs," Gobber read as the Elder packed the wound with a paste that slowed the loss of blood and prevented infection. "But he's got damage to the muscles and they will need to heal."

"Thank Thor," Stoick murmured, his worried eyes flicking to the Night Fury. Toothless's ears were back and he was looking cowed: Stoick was struck by the way he could understand that a dragon was blaming himself that his rider had been taken. Hiccup curled against Stoick and stiffened as the old woman poked his wound hard. A muffled cry sounded against the Chief's armour and Stoick felt him tremble again. Instinctively, Stoick stroked the matted auburn hair, feeling his son bury his head deeper as Gothi bandaged his wound before nodding and turning her attention to his other injuries. The Chief stared into the bruised, tight face and sighed as he cautiously laid the boy down.

"Hiccup," he began but the bleary emerald eyes opened, definite brows furrowing as he struggled to speak. His throat was swollen with black bruising and he winced as he tried to swallow.

"I'm…fine…Dad…" he rasped stubbornly before closing his eyes once more. Stoick stared into his bruised face and gently stroked his hair.

"Okay, son," he said, not fooled. Gothi glanced up and made a shooing motion and the Chief, with a sigh, retreated. Even Gothi didn't want to move the Night Fury as she continued to treat the boy-but both of them could see that Hiccup was suffering. Gobber hung back until Gothi gestured for him to go as well, leaving her with the battered young man. Once the limping sounds had retreated, she quietly stroked Hiccup's bruised face and the green eyes opened slightly.

"Am I going to die?" he whispered. She squinted at him and gave a slight smile, wagging her finger. "That…doesn't fill me…with confidence," he mumbled thickly. Gothi winked and began to slather ointment over his bruised chest and middle and neck and tenderly stroke a mushy cream into the vicious cuts deliberately sliced into his skin. He hissed and twitched until she finished and forced him to drink a cup of a bitter-tasting liquid that he knew was designed to help with the pain. But he closed his eyes in relief when she finished winding the last bandages around his battered shape and he was able to curl up. Gothi rested a hand gently on his forehead before shuffling out, as Toothless gave a sad little warble. Hiccup lifted a hand, stretching slightly towards the Night Fury and Toothless eagerly scrambled up, butting his nose against the outstretched hand.

"Wasn't your fault, bud," he breathed his voice almost beyond using now. Toothless nuzzled his forgivingly, his eyes fixed on the curled young man. "I was too stupid to listen…Astrid tried to warn me…" Gently, the Night Fury rested his head against Hiccup's battered middle and quietly, Hiccup wrapped his arms around the dragon.

"I'm never leaving you again," he whispered and finally dropped asleep.

oOo

The Riders remained outside the Chief's house for a while until Gobber, Gothi and finally Stoick emerged and shooed them away. Only Astrid remained, her face determined.

"Can I see him, sir?" she asked respectfully but he shook his head.

"He's badly wounded and Gothi says he will need peace and rest to heal and regain his strength," he said gravely.

"He will recover?" Astrid checked, her voice determined. The Chief looked into the wide blue eyes and wondered for the thousandth time how Hiccup had managed to become friends with this fierce and serious young woman who was the epitome of everything a Viking maiden should be. He nodded.

"He's going to need your support, lass," he admitted. "Not only because someone who has been through the ordeal he has-been hunted like an animal and handed from hunter to hunter, helpless-will have a lot to deal with but also because I rely on your to stop him going out of Toothless before he's ready." She frowned for the briefest of moments.

"You may need to remove his leg to stop him flying," she advised him.

"I'll remember that," Stoick managed with a small twinkle in his eye though he read the worry in her expression. "Come back in the morning, lass. He's sleeping now…"

"What if he wakes and needs anything?" she asked a little desperately. "I would hate for him to wake and find that he was alone. He would think we had abandoned him. He-he's been through enough…" Stoick patted her on the shoulder.

"Toothless will fetch me if he needs anything," he said reassuringly and strode off up the hill towards the Great Hall. He needed to discuss the bounty with the Council-those of them that had finally sobered up after the celebrations… But as she watched him go, the young Viking's gaze trailed back to the house and she sighed. She would wait a while-and then she would sneak in and see him anyway. Because after the last day, Astrid knew she wouldn't be able to sleep unless she saw him for herself.

oOo

It seemed he had barely fallen asleep when he found the images whirling around him, horrific memories from his very busy day rerunning constantly…

…being snatched from behind as he walked down the village to head back to the Chief's House, a foul hand pressed across his face and the unbreakable grasp locked around his chest and pinning his arms. And worse…he could feel the prickle of two hooks digging hard through even through the supple leather of his tunic. He had thrashed and struggled until the hooks had dug agonisingly into his flesh and he had jerked in pain. Finally, as they dragged him through the silence of night-time Berk, the hand had been taken from his face but before he could cry out, a fist slashed across his face and he slumped, unconscious…

…being grabbed by Savage at the moment when his heart had soared with hope that the others had found him, the flicker of fear at the man's cruel expression suppressed as he had done everything he could to try to escape…the man's fist punching his gut and crushing the wind from him before he was trussed like a baby yak. And the satisfaction as he had tripped the former Outcast and made a break for it. Even diving over the side had seemed a better option than being at the mercy of the man who hated him. Hiccup hadn't told the others how Savage had treated back when he had been captured by Alvin, how Savage's treatment hadn't been restricted to just words. There were scars on his body he had never shown anyone that were courtesy of the Outcast, that he had never shown anyone, least of all his father. And when Savage had grabbed him and torn his prosthetic leg off, he had lain there helpless-hands bound and down a leg: he was literally at Savage's mercy…

…and then Throk, taking down Savage and standing over Hiccup, a knife raised. And Hiccup had flinched, closing his eyes and expecting the blade to stab into his body. He knew that the man didn't approve of Hiccup, that he always looked at Hiccup as if he was a personal insult to Throk's existence. Throk-as many of the Defenders of the Wing-considered Hiccup's beliefs and especially his Riding of a dragon as heresy, no matter that Mala had accepted him as a friend. Hiccup had seen the sideways look and heard the reservation and the edge of dislike on Throk's voice and drawn his own conclusions. And he could not express the relief he felt as the man had helped him up, having cut him free…until he had been ambushed by the masked Viking…

…waking in the man's hold, an increasingly familiar sensation. Trying to get any information from the stranger and being rewarded with silence. Trying to escape and feeling the chain snap tight around his throat, choking his breath and holding him helpless. The man leaning over him, menacing…and tugging hard on the chain, the pressure agonising, making him feel so much like a dog on a chain, not a proud Viking. And being handed over and traded like a piece of livestock, then making a break for it-again-as Ryker double-crossed the bounty hunter…

…rolling over the cliff edge, his hands desperately scrabbling for the rock…but sliding as the man who had captured him grabbed his metal leg and demanded to be pulled up. And he had thought about it-Thor, he had. Because Hiccup was a decent man, he was someone who had nearly killed himself saving others, over and over…but today, he had only himself to rely on…

…and he knew this man would not repay his generosity with gratitude. He knew the man would just recapture him and haul him along to Viggo Grimborn for the Hunter to kill him in person. Hiccup's campaign against Viggo had been too persistent, too effective to ignore. And in that moment, as he felt his fingers slide over the gritty surface, he had made the decision, his hand pulling the rope free and unfastening the prosthetic, then kicking the metal away and seeing the man fall away, shame and disgust at himself curling in his chest…

…and then there was Ryker…

He began to whimper and thrash, shaking his head and clutching at his battered middle. Tears squeezed from his eyes, which were screwed shut. And his mouth worked as he tried to speak, though only a pained, hoarse whisper escaped.

"No…please…" he whispered. "Ryker…NO!"

Toothless scrambled to his feet, his head nudging Hiccup gently, trying to wake him, but the young man was too lost in his hideous nightmare. Toothless could smell the fear radiating off his beloved brother in waves, hear the shudder of his sibs and hear his heart galloping fit to burst. And he could smell blood as his violent reaction tugged on his barely-scabbed stab wound. He looked up but Hiccup screamed again and the Night Fury gave a pathetic croon of fear and despair. He couldn't leave Hiccup like this…but his friend needed help. Why wasn't his father or his almost-and-should-be-in-the-future-mate here?

"NO! RYKER-PLEASE! DON'T!"

A thump sounded and Astrid dusted herself down, having scrambled through the window the moment she heard his cries. Stoick was still with the Council and she knew leaving Hiccup was a bad move.

"I'm here, Toothless," she assured the agitated dragon. 'Go get Gothi. I'll look after him until you get back." The dragon gave a grateful warble and dashed for the stairs, his half-tail whisking as he vanished from sight, leaving the beautiful Shield Maiden with the thrashing Hiccup. So she did the only thing she could: she sat beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

He stiffened and his eyes snapped wide.

"Please…" he breathed, eyes moving wildly, acting as if she was another of the men who had kidnapped him. She shook her head and sighed.

"Shh, shh," she said gently. "It's me, Hiccup." She moved an arm to stroke his cheek, feeling the skin clammy under her gentle touch. "You're safe…"

He suddenly stopped struggling and relaxed against her, so she feared he was unconscious but his head moved slightly against her shoulder and she felt him briefly nuzzle against her.

"…sorry…" he mumbled, his voice barely a breath.

"For what, dummy?" she asked him gently, still stroking his hair. He took a shuddering breath.

"Being so weak. Not listening. Getting captured." The tone was ashamed but she gently stroked his cheek and his shadowed green eyes lifted to meet hers.

"Hiccup, I expect nothing less," she said gently. "You're Hiccup. You never listen. Trouble follows you around. But you always get away…" He shuddered.

"H-hurts," he mumbled and she peered at his bandages, seeing at the fresh stain of red on the bandages over the knife wound. Without hesitation, she pressed her hand over the wound, fingers splayed over the material and palm feeling the damp sensation of the blood.

"Toothless is fetching Gothi," she reassured him. He swallowed.

"Ruined the celebration," he mumbled. "Lost the gold. Had to be rescued. Really am useless…" She hugged him harder.

"No, you're Hiccup," she told him softly. "You're brilliant and brave and our leader. You're my best friend. We've got you back. That's all that matters." He leaned harder against her.

"Don't deserve it," he mumbled. She held him close.

"I'm here for you, Hiccup," she murmured softly. And then she whispered the words he had said to her when she had been so sick with the Scourge of Odin. "I can't imagine a world without you." But he stiffened.

"It would be better," he breathed.

oOo

Astrid and the rest of the Riders visited daily and he endured the twins' ridiculous ongoing envy of his personal bounty and Snotlout's comments with as much grace as he could-but somehow, the jibes from his cousin hit home just a little more as he sniggered at how easily Hiccup was caught. Astrid's constant glares at Snot didn't help because his mind kept rolling over what she had said-and what she hadn't and his convictions about what was wrong with him grew and grew.

She didn't contradict me, he sighed, his gaze trailing over the blonde girl as she punched Snotlout in the gut. She didn't say I wasn't weak. Because I am. I know I'm smart and sassy and inventive-but every single one of those men outfought me and every one of them beat me up and trussed me up and hauled me wherever they wanted. I tried and I just wasn't good enough. Thor, even Savage managed to get the better of me-and he was so pathetic both Alvin and Dagur despised him…

The twins crashed to the floor, rolling around and trading punches. He flinched as he shifted when the bed was sideswiped by the struggling Thorstons and he tried to cover it with an attempt to shift his position. Astrid looked up with a slightly smug expression and her hand briefly touched his, her eyes checking he was okay. She must have seen me, he realised with shame. Gods, I really am a disappointment.

"You okay?" she whispered and he nodded, though he was lying.

"Never better," he whispered hoarsely. Never show weakness. Always put on a brave face, son. He blinked as he recalled his father's words, shortly after lost his leg. The tribe looks to you to give them confidence. They need a strong leader.

But I'm not, he thought, his eyes trailing over the others. Fishlegs was sitting at the back with Heather, talking quietly. The husky boy had quietly spoken to Hiccup back on the Edge, revealing his feelings for Heather and Hiccup had suggested that Fishlegs spoke to the girl about how he felt, wisely advising him to do what he had never managed to get the courage to do for himself. And now-how could he? Astrid saw him as weak, as a liability. She had needed to rescue him again and now, he was injured and was keeping them from the Edge, stuck on Berk while he recovered.

As if reading his thought, Heather's green eyes flicked up and she offered a small smile. "How are you?" she asked, her tone concerned. Hiccup had comforted her when she had lost her brother and the very thought made him almost cringe with shame.

Another time, I didn't listen, he admitted to himself, mentally kicking himself harder. I was so stubborn that I knew best-no matter than someone who actually was allied with and worked with Viggo and knew how he planned his ambushes, told me otherwise. And because he thought he owed me-and he couldn't bear my leading his sister to her death-he went ahead…and it cost him his life. I cost him his life. My stupid pride, my overconfidence, my weakness. Dagur was a hero. He was strong…except maybe in the head but hey, he was deranged, after all. And I let him down. He saved my life twice and I let him down.

"I'm fine," he managed painfully and she smiled, nodding.

"I wouldn't want to lose you, Hiccup," she said gently as Fishlegs patted her arm and she smiled to him. Hiccup grimaced.

Captured by Dagur and the hunters. Captured by the Hunters while looking for Dagur. Outsmarted by Viggo, over and over. In the end, is there anything I can do? he thought despondently. And I've condemned Berk to poverty and hardship because I thought we could fool Viggo at the auction and avenge Dagur. I had to be saved by Dad then.

He stared at his friends.

I'm too weak, too soft to protect them-and it led to this, he thought quietly, feeling a flash of pain as he took a deep breath. So I have to change. I can't carry on like this. If I want to be the Viking that they need and Berk needs…I can't be this Hiccup any more.

His gaze locked on Astrid and he forced a smile onto his bruised lips, being rewarded by her beautiful grin in return. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve any of them.

I have to become something else.