TO GO FORWARD GO BACK part 2

Disclaimer please see chapter 1

AN Sorry it has taken me a while to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Many thanks to 43n5icfr3ak, GSR4EVA and Haldir's Heart and Soul for the wonderful reviews.

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After a gruelling six hour journey Sara eventually pulled into the parking lot in front of a small run down motel. She got out of her car, stretching her back and arms as she did. Before reaching into the trunk to pull out her case Sara took a few moments to look around. The motel was right on the outskirts of Tamales Bay but from the look of it the town didn't seem to have changed. Sara could have booked into a hotel in town or even a bed and breakfast but she hadn't wanted to. She knew that the chance of anybody remembering her was slim but Sara didn't want to risk it. With a heavy sigh Sara reached into the trunk and pulled out her case. She slowly made her way inside to the reception.

"Good afternoon," she said to the receptionist behind the desk. "I booked a room for a couple of weeks. The name is Sidle."

The receptionist looked up in total disinterest.

"Oh yeah, room 17, it's at the back." The receptionist turned around and grabbed a set of keys; she quickly handed them over to Sara and was soon sat back watching her television programme.

"Thank you," Sara said quietly as she took the offered keys.

Sara slowly made her way down the corridor heading for her room. Once in her room Sara quickly unpacked her case, placing her clothes into the small wardrobe and set of drawers. Before putting her case away Sara pulled out a set of sheets and pillowcases. A few moments later Sara was stretched out on the freshly made bed. She reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone, she had just remembered that she had to call Jim.

"Hi Jim, I guess you've been called in. Just to let you know I've got here and am okay. Well I'll call you again in a couple of days. Oh say hi to the guys for me. Bye Jim and thanks." Sara quickly ended the call and lay back on the bed. Within in minutes she had fallen into a fitful sleep.

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Sara woke the next morning to the beeping of her cell phone announcing that she had a text message. She slowly reached over and opened it to discover that she had five new messages. A couple were from Nick and Warrick which made her giggle and the one from Greg had her laughing out loud. At least the guys weren't mad at her. The message from Jim was just a simple thanks for phoning to let him know that she had arrived, and that he would call her later. The message from Grissom she left unopened, she wasn't ready to deal with him on top of all that lay ahead of her today. Maybe she would open it later.

Sara pulled herself out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Considering how run down the motel was on the outside the rooms were surprisingly clean and the shower was actually hot. After washing away the grime from yesterdays journey Sara hurriedly dressed and headed out of the motel.

After stopping to grab a coffee Sara pulled up outside a smart looking bed and breakfast near to the beach. Sara got out of her car and leaned against the bonnet slowly drinking her coffee. There were so many bad memories spinning around her head that Sara didn't notice a black car pull up beside her and somebody get out of it.

"Can I help you Miss?" a male voice asked her.

Sara blinked and turned to face the man talking to her.

"Sara!" the man exclaimed reaching out an arm towards her.

Sara looked stunned; she slowly pushed herself away from her car.

"Sara it's me Danny."

"Danny? But what are you doing here?"

"I bought the old place a couple of years ago, did it up hoping it would drive away the bad memories." Danny told Sara, all the time staring at her. "You look good sis."

"Thanks. So did it work?" Sara turned back to look at the house, her face blank.

"Yes, it's a happy home now. I've got two little girls. What about you? Married? Kids?" Danny turned to look at his younger sister.

"No, neither." Sara took a sip of her cold coffee and grimaced. "You said that you would come back for me." She said in a small sad voice.

"I know, I'm sorry." Danny turned away from Sara's piercing stare. "I did come back but it was too late. He was dead, mom was in prison and they wouldn't tell me where you were. I looked for you Sar I really did but I couldn't find out anything. Look why don't you come in, I'll get you a fresh coffee and you can meet the girls."

Sara turned to her brother, tears in her eyes.

"I can't go in there Danny. Every day I still see him, hitting, punching kicking mom and me. It got worse after you left, he blamed me. Every day I can smell the blood, taste it even. He tried to rape me that night, which is what caused her to kill him." Sara started to sob as the memories flooded back.

"Sara, come on, that's all gone. It's in the past." Danny told her as he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"No!" Sara screamed, pulling her arm away. "Let go of me!" Sara turned and ran down the path towards the beach, her sobs echoing behind her.

"Sara! Wait!" Danny started after her, his face full of concern.

Sara stopped and spun around to face her brother, tears streaming down her face.

"Stay away from me Danny, stay away!" she cried and then ran down onto the beach.

Danny stood there staring after her; he just didn't know how to help.

"Danny, you okay? Who was that?" an arm reached around his waist.

Danny turned to look at his wife, giving her a small smile.

"I'm okay." He gave a heavy sigh, "that was Sara."

"Oh. Is she alright? Why don't you go after her?" his wife asked, she knew all about the past.

"No, I think it will do more harm if I do. I'll wait here. You go in Honey, I'm okay." He gave his wife a gentle hug and watched her walk back towards the house.

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Sara finally stopped running and sat down on a small out crop of rocks far away from the house, sobs still racking through her body. She was sat staring into space when her cell phone rang. Sara tried to get her breathing under control as she reached into her pocket and pulled it out. After getting her sobs under control Sara answered it.

"Hi." She said in a small voice.

"Hey kiddo, I thought I would catch you." Jim's voice rang out. "How's it going?"

"Hey Jim, I'm fine," Sara's voice caught in her throat another sob threatening to overcome her.

"Sara what's wrong?" Jim had heard the threatened sob. "Tell me Sara, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it Jim, it's too hard." Sara sobbed, "It hurts too much, I just can't face it."

"Sara where are you? Honey tell me where you are?" Jim's voice quietened down as he tried to calm Sara. "I'm going to come to you, it might take me a few hours but I'm coming, okay? Now tell me where you are."

Sara's sobs died down a little, Jim's reassuring voice calming her.

"I'm at the beach."

"Okay honey. I'm getting on the next flight and then I'll drive straight to you. Is your car nearby?"

"Yes." Sara answered quietly.

"Good, now go to your car and drive to your motel. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, but he will be there." Sara's breathing got faster as she fought the panic rising in her throat.

"Who Sara? Who's waiting there for you?" Jim was starting to panic; he had never known Sara act like this.

"My brother." Sara whispered.

"Okay, is he going to hurt you?" Jim asked, rushing out of his office.

"No, he won't."

"Okay, here's what you are going to do. Ignore him, get in your car, lock the doors and drive away. I'm coming kiddo don't worry."

"Okay, I can do that." Sara stood up and started walking back up the beach

"Good girl. Now I've got to go and get to the airport. I'll phone you as soon as I land. Sara you can do this, I know you can, you're strong."

"Thanks Jim," Sara told him, her voice getting stronger.

"That's my girl. I'll see you soon Sara. Bye."

"Bye Jim." Sara hung up the phone just as she reached the path leading back to her car. She took a deep breath and started up it.

Danny was stood leaning against his own car when he saw Sara walking back towards him.

"Sara, I'm sorry." He told her as he stepped towards her.

"I can do this," Sara whispered to herself totally ignoring Danny. "Just get in the car and drive away. I can do it."

Sara quickly unlocked her car, got in, locked it again and drove away. Ten minutes later Sara was back at her motel. Sara opened her room door and entered, slowly making her way to the bed, all the time whispering to herself,

"I can do this, I am strong, I can do this."

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AN Thanks for reading, it will most likely be a couple of weeks before I can update as I'm going away and will not have internet access. I hope you enjoyed this chapter; please review if you did as this lets me know that I'm getting it right!