Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All rights belong to the great J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson.
The following reports are extracted from the TA 2463 files.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Rivendell
Date: October 10th, TA 2463
I think the first official meeting of the White Council went very well! We arranged the rest of the officer positions, discussed the murmurs of unrest in Dol Guldur, then broke for snacks.
Radagast said he had an urgent squirrel problem he had to see to, so he gave me the minutes to pass on to you.
I must thank Lord Elrond for hosting us, especially as the red wine (a Second Age vintage, if I remember correctly) was most fine.
By the way, why weren't the Blues there?
Attached document: Minutes for White Council meeting the First, attended by Saruman the White (President), the Lady Galadriel (Vice President), Lord Elrond (Treasurer), Radagast the Brown (Secretary) and Gandalf the Grey.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Rivendell
Date: October 10th, TA 2463
You don't have to write reports for events I also attended, Gandalf. I was there. I know what happened.
I have the minutes right in front of me. I can't read any of it. Can Radagast actually write? Does anyone know?
Do tell him he's not allowed to bring animals to the meetings anymore.
And the Blue Wizards are still on assignment in the Eastern Lands. They have been there for almost two thousand years. I understand certain minor details of our Mission escape you, Gandalf, so I will repeat. Two thousand years. Try not to forget next time. Again.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Lord Elrond's library, Rivendell
Date: October 10th, TA 2463
Oh, of course! What a daft old fool I am! It's probably for the best that I wasn't voted in as an officer in the Council- imagine! Yes, it's much better that I not be given too much responsibility or duties.
I do miss the Blues most terribly, though. Even though I never could keep them straight. They didn't both have to be Blue. Perhaps Turquise and Aquamarine. That would be very stylish.
And there can't be any good Pipe-weed in the East, of course. Poor things.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Rivendell
Date: October 10th, TA 2463
Are you truly still smoking that nonsense? I had thought it was a phase.
That reminds me: I am updating our budgetary records, and as you continue to insist that the Halfling's Leaf be considered a business expense, I will need to know the exact shop which you procure it from. Merely for financial reasons, you understand. I haven't the slightest desire to start up that disgusting habit myself.
The following reports are extracted from the TA 2759 files.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: A pub in Bree
Date: I prefer raisins, myself.
My dear Saruman! Congratulations on becoming Warden of the Tower! I am sure the Gondorians are overjoyed to have you.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: March 7th, TA 2759
Indeed. We can't all be wanderers, Gandalf. I believe it is past time I claimed myself a seat of authority of my own.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Another pub in Bree
Date: March 10th, TA 2759
… I understood that Steward Beren placed you there with his permission, merely as a representative. After all, we are meant to be humble helpers for the Free People of Middle-earth. Right?
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: March 14th, TA 2759
Of course. My word choice was poor.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Who knew Bree had this many pubs?
Date: March 16th, TA 2759
Oh, obviously! I was wondering, are you going to redecorate? I imagine the tower Orthanc would look stunning in plum.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isenard
Date: March 18th, TA 2759
No, Gandalf.
The following reports are extracted from the TA 2850 files.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: February 1st, TA 2850
Gandalf, I need your report on the scouting mission to Dol Guldur.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: A surprisingly comfortable ditch
Date: February 3rd, TA 2850
Since we've got the meeting coming up, I thought I would just report to the entire Council at once. I'm on my way!
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: February 6th, TA 2850
Nevertheless, I believe it would be more efficient if you provided me with a report prior to our meeting. It is vital the proper people have the information as soon as possible, so that planning may begin.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: An abandonded farmhouse, I think
Date: Mid-Febraury, TA 2850
Fair enough. I've sent copies to the Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond and Radagast as well. Wouldn't want them to be kept in the dark!
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: February 20th, TA 2850
No. We certainly wouldn't want that.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Rivendell
Date: April 19th, TA 2850
Another excellent meeting! And just as you'd thought, things did go much quicker since I didn't have to explain that upon entry to Dol Guldur, it was very clear that Sauron was there! The lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond immediately put for the motion that we ought to attack, and drive the foul presence out. Radagast made an odd humming noise, which I took to mean he was in favor. Then you argued that there was no need. Which… I must admit, that seemed odd. Almost as odd as you wanting me to give you the information to you only, months in advance of the others.
But I'm sure you, the wisest of our Order, know best.
Indeed, you managed to convince all of us to hold off an attack. It was a very eloquent speech.
Then we broke for snacks.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Rivendell
Date: April 19th, TA 2850
Again, Gandalf. I was there.
Author's Note: This chapter has been brought to you by Old Toby.