Chapter Two
The candles flickered causing shadows to dance on my parents faces, showing every flaw in their skin, their sunken eyes and tight lips. My mother gestured for me to sit. The table was slanting slightly – the legs were uneven since my father cut them, the wood was needed for the fire, our only source of warmth, hot water and cooked food. She pulled me close to her, wrapping the blanket she was encased in around my slender shoulders, and she gently brushed my hair out of my eyes. Both my mother and I had the same eyes, a shade of turquoise blue with a rare ring of potent yellow in the centre.
"Dad'll be home soon," she said to me, whilst removing our blanket from her hunching shoulders. "You know how long he likes to take." It was true; he had begun to enjoy being out in that godforsaken forest, gathering wood or hunting for game, rather than being home with us.
"Okay." Whilst my dad started to enjoy the company of shadows, I had begun to enjoy my own. Distancing myself from my parents was not the best idea, but I saw it as a good thing. If something happened to me, they would be hurt less, hopefully.
"Do you want something to eat?" Third day without eating… Maybe it was time I ate something. My mum was wondering around the kitchen, though small it was, she spent a large majority of her time there. Rarely cooking, meals were not cooked often, and when they were, they had to last us a good few days.
"I'll just have the last rabbit leg, if that's okay. I'm assuming dad will find something."
I retired to my room, my store cupboard to be exact. We had our specific spots for sleeping at night; my father the porch, my mother the bathroom – yes this did lead to some embarrassment when we first began to live here. This was all precautionary of course. The night time was not a good time to be wondering about.
A usual thought process during the night begins around 10pm, when all the lights have to be shut off, and being in the middle of a forest, there are not very many pleasant noises. The most common being "Fuck, what was that?" "Was that my dad coming home or something else coming home?" and "Are the bears out tonight? If not, what was that noise?" Indeed, the night was a scary place.
Tonight was different though, different noises, the air felt thicker, did it smell different? I shoved these to the back of my mind. I rolled over on my yoga mat which was my make-shift mattress, and pulled up my blanket my mother had pulled over me on the dilapidated sofa downstairs. I began thinking of the life that is, and the life that once was.
A memory:
Isabella and I were lying in the field, daisies as far as the eye could see. Music was blaring from a group of nearby teenagers, the suns' rays were beating down – I could almost see my skin blistering. "Lindsey?" God, I hated my name. I rolled onto my back to be facing at least slightly towards Isabella.
"What?"
"Do you ever wish you could live in a moment forever? Now, I wish I could live in this moment forever." I wanted to shout yes at her, this innocent girl. I wanted to hug her and cry, all these years I had loved her, and all these years I could never do anything about it.
"Hm. Yeah I suppose," I should have said something more, but she'll understand. She could easily understand. "I should have put sun lotion on."
The rest of that night I dreamt of Isabella, wondered where she was, if she was still alive, if she was fighting well, where she was, was she still alive, was she fighting well. I wish I could answer my own questions. I promised myself months ago if I found her alive I would tell her I loved her, and tell her every day from then on.
"She'll be fine," I said aloud to myself, into the silent cupboard. "She'll be okay, she'll be hiding somewhere, out of danger."
I wish I was hiding somewhere, out of danger. No. I'm stuck in this fucking forest where my parents thought it would be a good idea to hide where they mostly are. Yes, great thought process. Let's go to where the beings are the most common! Imbeciles.