Author's note: Just felt that the first (and last) part felt incomplete so decided to extend this into a three-shot (if there is such a word?) Hope you enjoy it and next part will be up soon!
*
*
Tanyuu shot up in her futon, breathing heavily. Her heart was pounding so hard against her ribs that she was sure that everyone could hear it. Her skin was clammy with sweat, chilling her as the blankets fell to pool around her waist, and her cheeks were wet as if with tears.
Her mushi were agitated, moving, burning underneath her skin and Tanyuu let out a low, keening sound as her head fell forwards into her hands.
Deep breaths...despite her mushi's reaction it seemed that there was no immediate threat. Perhaps they had simple become worked up at the images in her nightmare.
Sleep a distant stranger, and the pain under control Tanyuu crawled gracelessly from the futon, dragging the upper blanket with her as she made her slow progress to the door. The night air was deceptively mild, despite the white blanket of snow as far as one could see. Letting her bare feet dangle off the edge of the decking, Tanyuu drew her blanket around her and stared up at the sky.
On clear nights such as this the stars looked close enough to touch...and sometimes she wished she could do just that. She knew the names of all of them; they and their stories were old friends.
How many nights had she spent seated on this porch, reciting the names as she traced their shapes with a longing hand?
How many years had it been since she had come to this remote place, as a child not yet realising that she would never leave?
There had been many sleepless nights, particularly at the beginning, when she would wake at the slightest noise, heart leaping in her chest at the thought that her parents had come back for her. Yet she had hoped in vain and their once familiar footsteps had become nothing more than a painful memory.
She started as a jacket was placed around her shoulders and the smell of woodsmoke filled her nostrils.
"Bad dream?"
Ginko; how long had he been there?
It was only then that Tanyuu realised that she was shaking; a slow trembling that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the disturbing images in her dreams, which even now had become vague, yet still retained their unpleasant aftertaste.
Ginko was crouched beside her, a lit cigarette dangling carelessly from one hand. Tanyuu wrinkled her nose; she had hated the smell of cigarette smoke until she had met Ginko...yet somehow now it had become comforting.
They sat in silence for a long time, long enough for Ginko's cigarette to burn down to nothingness. He didn't even seem interested in smoking it, his own gaze unfocused as he watched the point of red in the darkness burn slowly away.
In the pause between finishing one and lighting another he sat down on the edge of the porch, his own bare feet dangling alongside Tanyuu's and seemingly as unaffected by the cold. Tanyuu took a deep breath and let it out slowly; her mushi had gone completely silent as soon as Ginko had placed his jacket around her shoulders and the sudden absence of their clamouring was restful. If she listened carefully she could still hear them, feel their caution of and curiosity about the man seated beside her, feel them creeping along her baby finger, where it almost touched his on the porch. Tanyuu was no longer shaking, the tension from her dream being pushed away by the aura of calm that Ginko exuded. And yet...and yet...something in her subconsciousness didn't want to let it go so easily, for she was sure that her dream had had something to do with him. Ginko interrupted her train of thought,
"Do you know the story of that one?"
He pointed upwards, hand steady and Tanyuu raised her eyes to locate the star he was referring to. Of course she knew the story, he knew as well as she did how many hours she had spent on this porch, how the stars were almost as familiar to her as old friends...or perhaps even more so since she had very few friends to speak of. Still, even knowing that he knew this, Tanyuu shook her head. She wanted to hear him tell the story and he would always indulge her.
Ginko's voice started, weaving its spell around her like it always did.
It was a story of love and separation, one that had probably been told a million times before, but never in the way Ginko told it. He never told the standard stories, or if he did, he changed them in such a way as to bring out an entirely new meaning...and Tanyuu always felt as if these meanings were just for her. Maybe it was silly, but she always felt as if his stories told her more about the way he thought than she could ever learn by knowing things like his favourite colour or food.
A small part of her liked to think that he kept these stories especially for her; that he didn't just keep visiting out of pity for her virtual imprisonment but because he wanted to.
He lit up another cigarette and Tanyuu shuffled slightly closer; Ginko was always so reassuringly solid...but she couldn't help the irrational fear that someday he would leave and never come back...that some day...one of the images in her dream came into sudden sharp focus and she drew in a shocked breath.
In her dream he had waded into a lake, while Tanyuu dragged herself on useless legs after him, calling out for him to stop. But he didn't hear her or her chose not to, and as she had watched he had slowly faded from existence. She had awakened when her knees had crashed into the sharp gravel of the beach, her cries ripping from her chest as her heart had fallen to pieces.
"Tanyuu"
His hands were on her shoulders, his voice urgent as he leaned in so close that their foreheads were almost touching.
Tanyuu came back to herself, gasping for breath, her heart clenching painfully. She couldn't breathe, couldn't draw air into her lungs nor let it escape; she was trapped.
A warm, calloused hand on her cheeks, but the tears kept falling faster than he could wipe them away so he returned it to her shoulders, now letting his forehead rest against hers as she tried to bring herself under control. he didn't question her as to what was wrong, simply waited so that she would know that she wasn't alone.
One hand clutched the front of his tunic, while the other clenched in the material over her own heart, as if the pressure could somehow relieve the pain. Ginko's hands moved up and down her arms in an awkward caress; he never knew how to deal with tears and Tanyuu knew that he was probably already intensely uncomfortable.
Yet still he stayed and that meant more than she could ever vocalize.
"Don't..." she began through her tears and she could feel Ginko stiffen, perhaps dreading that she would ask the impossible of him. They both knew that he couldn't stay.
Tanyuu struggled on, "I don't want you to disappear."
He didn't recoil when she laid her head on his chest, closer than they had even been before, listening to the reassuring pound of his heart. After a second his arms came hesitantly around her as well and Tanyuu tried to swallow her tears.
"Please don't disappear"
Ginko shook his head, "I won't..."
Yet even with her so upset he couldn't lie, "Not yet at least"
*
*
Author's note: One more part to go which will be shorter than the first two. Hope you enjoyed it and feedback is always much appreciated!
Thank you to Rena - I'm very happy you enjoyed it! Also thank you to Taneya and Wolfpack15 for adding this story to your favourites.