Ahh, thank you for the supportive reviews. I think my writing style has been failing lately, but I'll try my best!!! I think I made a crappy start, but…here goes.

Hope you like this chapter!

Chapter Two: Burden Of Your Hate

Since Itachi had gone for most of my remembered life, we had a lot of things to catch up on – holidays, jokes, habits, friends, memories, stories, and a lot more.

Halloween was nothing special, since I was never really one to trick-or-treat or anything like that. But I remember when I was little, when I could still stand to be out in public wearing any costume at all, Itachi would always volunteer to walk me and my friends (friends being Sakura and Naruto and the group) around the neighborhood. Even though he was still young enough to be going around in costume, I don't remember him even wanting to dress up and scream 'Trick-or-Treat!' at any person in a household with a huge bowl of candy. Halloween was also one of the only times that my friends would see Itachi, and they'd comment on how cool he was, too.

Then there was Christmas, that holiday where Itachi got hordes and hordes of presents from people that he knew, and many from people that he didn't know. I got a few from my parents/Santa Claus, the man that I never really believed in when Itachi accidentally broke the news to me when I was five (I never got to live Christmas like a kid). That didn't stop my parents from putting presents in my stocking that claimed that they were from Santa, but I recognized my mother's handwriting anyway. Heck, we all knew that Itachi knew there really was no Santa, but mother kept putting presents in his stocking anyway.

The thing I really looked forward to in Christmas was Itachi's present. He'd always avoid giving it to me in front of our parents who always held the camera during the entire gift opening section. He'd sneak into my room and leave it on my bed, and I'd come back and see the present there. There was no tag on it or anything, but I always knew it was from Itachi. The present would be something that would originally be given to a female, but I loved it anyway. They ranged from jewelry to any little thing he happened to hear me beg for throughout the year.

New Years Eve, the holiday for families. Instead of getting together with family friends (which we had none, since all of our parents' friends were unknown to us, Itachi was a loner, and my friends held it but my father didn't want to go), we'd stay up all night, like everyone else, drinking hot chocolate with those tiny marshmallows and whipped cream. And instead of screaming loudly, we'd just wait and…I don't know, be the entirely calm family that we are? When Itachi turned eleven he didn't feel like taking the excuse to stay up late anymore, so he left the living room before midnight even began to approach. That made New Years Eve/New Years Day very boring, because my mother would go all overprotective of me and my father would glare at me.

Valentine's Day, a holiday that no one celebrated in the household, giving the exception of my parents. Itachi would insist on them leaving and having a date every Valentine's night, and he'd always give me sideward glances every once and a while, like he was worried that I'd been bombarded by girls one day, like he is. On Valentine's Day, for some reason that we never elaborated on, Itachi and me would always be…I don't know, closer.

Then came Easter, that day that always seemed to depress me despite all of the bright colors and happy Easter bunnies that no one believes in. I'd come over a friend's house – usually Naruto's – and we'd go Easter egg hunting in teams. The only downfall of that bit of fun is that the team that had Naruto in it always won. Now either he aided his parents in hiding the eggs, or he watched them hide them all. Itachi would tag along sometimes, when he's bored, but he'd always be the one to pick me up. While we walk home, Itachi would steal at least one piece of chocolate from my stash.

Nowadays, we don't really celebrate Halloween. We'd sit outside on the porch and give the kids candy, and when some teenagers come by we'd just throw it at their faces and watch them struggle for the candy.

Christmas is the holiday in which we don't spend time with anyone else in the world – just enjoying each other's company and when we're bored I'd force Itachi to prank call someone just to see how shocked they would be when the found out that the Uchiha Itachi phone tapped them.

At New Years Eve, we'd go over Minato's house, and a lot of other people would come. Now is when we scream (well, Itachi just stood back and secretly smiled and enjoyed himself) and enjoy the New Year, while some people exclaim their New Year's Resolution. My latest one is the one that I always make now – make sure Itachi doesn't do anything stupid again. Obviously I failed that already…

On Valentine's Day…well…

Easter, Sakura always hosts a party for little kids. Sometimes we tag along, just to watch their ecstatic and innocent faces as they savor each and every moment of the holidays. I recently found out that Itachi is a real sucker for cute little boys.

Every holiday I'd ask him if he enjoyed the day. He's kiss me and say,

"I enjoy everyday with you."

I tugged at my shirt when I heard a car move up in the driveway, its engine halting. Immediately, I began to wonder if he really did enjoy every day he spent with me, because it seemed unreal when he walked up the steps and unlocked the door.

"Ah…Sasuke," Itachi said softly.

Yeah…and…?

My death glare was probably intimidating him, because he hoisted up his bag again and left for his room, shutting the door behind him in a somewhat soft slam. My ears strained when I heard a click that meant that he locked the door. So much for confronting him like that. I closed my eyes and hoped that he would find my letter – and if he did, maybe he would come out and explain everything that's going on.

But of course he didn't, and I was left waiting in the kitchen, wondering why the hell I bothered in the first place.

Next morning, tiring morning, I-Hate-Mornings morning, and I wish yesterday was a dream morning.

Yeah, I wish.

The sun was being unusually mean to me today, because it decided to wake me up in its superior light. My eyes burned because they were so used to the darkness that was spotted with pixels that annoyed me until I fell asleep. Rubbing my eyes, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom, not even bothering to hope if Itachi's here or not – he probably isn't. If he decides to break any kind of relationship, he does it thoroughly.

"Ahh!"

Perfect. My morning is just made because I slipped on something on the ground. I grumbled as I heaved myself up and rubbed my eyes again. The thing that made me slip a piece of paper – an envelope, to be exact. I didn't even think 'Oh, no, not again…'because this was to be expected from someone like my big brother.

I mercilessly ripped the envelope on, taking out my morning anger on it. I slightly ripped the paper, too, but it didn't matter. Sitting down on the table, I read it through quickly three times before reading it slowly to understand it.

To…Unknown, then.

Now that I think about it, you haven't changed at all. Truthfully, I am glad that I'll be able to take that title up again.

Again, I can't tell you anything about what's going on. You'll get mad at me and do something stupid. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that…never mind. It's not a practical joke, Sasuke. It's something that we have to wait out. For now, just keep writing these letters.

But I know you enough to know that you're rolling your eyes and thinking, 'There's no way I'm going to write these letters again'. Please, Sasuke. It's either that or don't talk to me at all. Your choice.

And yet again, do not talk to me about this. Do not. The last thing we need is trouble. And as much as it pains me to say this, outside of the little world we make when we write these letters, there is no such thing as 'We' anymore. I'm giving you a choice, again. Either pretend you hate me or hate me. It's my fault that this happened – I won't run away from the blame any longer.

It's my own lesson to learn to handle the burden of your hate, Sasuke.

From, Anonymous

Of course he wouldn't give me answers. He's the kind of guy that would give me answers last minute, when it was do or die time, when he didn't have a choice. He gave me two questions to answer, and the answers already bubbled up in my mind once I read the words completely.

To, Unknown

SMART-ASS – SMART-ASS – SMART-ASS

There. You happy now?

I promise I won't freak out or go crazy or anything. Just tell me what's going on. If you don't, I will freak out and go crazy, you got that? I have no idea what's going on, and you haven't even told me about that weird guy who gave me a shot while I was asleep. With what's going on lately, this might as well be a practical joke. Though knowing you, it probably isn't.

Also…Give me a reason to keep writing these letters. Why do you insist on keeping our relationship underground? Are you ashamed or something? Because that would be really stupid of you to realize your shame now. I'm considering not talking to you at all, but I need answers, and I need them NOW.

I'm not even going to answer to those last two paragraphs. Why the hell do you always make my life a living hell? Why do you want me to hate you all of a sudden? Again, I still need information; if I don't get it then you might as well add yourself to the list of things that Uchiha Sasuke hates. If you want to carry that burden, carry it.

I am not gonna tolerate this stupid stuff anymore, Itachi.

From Anonymous

I banged my head against the table on purpose, feeling that this letter would seriously end the relationship completely, forcing him to move out, never to be seen again. That incident almost two years ago with the letters was pure coincidence, some amazing luck on my part, but I highly doubted it would happen again.

Placing the letter on the kitchen counter, hidden under the coffee maker, I rubbed my and against my nearly bruised head, still considering the fact that I should take that letter, rip it up, and rewrite a new one that would look a lot nicer and compassionate that I really feel.

I trudged to my room and pulled on a change of clothes, taking my dear old time because my mind was on something other than getting to school. I knew I couldn't cut school again, because everyone says that it's unlike me to be absent at all. My reputation was one of the only things that I was determined to keep.

As I left my room, again rounding up all of my books that were strewn across the house. By the time I was ready to leave and to make my way to school as fast as possible because I had no ride, it was already ten minutes into the school day. I groaned as I smashed open the door and closed it behind me, taking a few deep breaths before breaking into a sprint, now determined to give myself a new personal record on the mile run.

A honk from behind me caused me to jump and lose balance, falling face down on the dirty sidewalk, scraping my knee in the process as well (I'm gaining clumsiness?). I sat up and immediately sent the honker the signature Uchiha death glare. My hands balled into tight fists when I realized it was that black car that follows me whenever I commute from school to home.

"What the hell do you want?" I demanded, standing up and brushing myself off briskly. Another honk. Whoever this stalker was, he was persistent. The passenger's door opened, screaming, 'come in'. I paused, wondering if I could trust the stalker stranger and make it to school in time (hopefully with no injuries), or if I should just make a run for it and probably be caught by the jet black car anyway.

"Well?" A creepy voice that somehow reminded me of Michael Jackson reached my ears, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up – a sign that told me to run for my life or else get molested. I racked my brain a little, trying to remember where I heard the voice before. Another "Well?" came, this time with an impatient tone. I dug my fingers into my arm. I knew how impatient people are – living with Itachi had some good points other than the company and…affection.

At the time, I knew that all I could do was play along and pray.

I walked to the door and sat down on the leather chair, closing the door and closing my eyes in the process, knowing that whatever would happen next would happen, and there was probably nothing I could do about it. Hey, it was either that or get run over. Whatever floats my boat.

My fingers dug into my arm, deeper this time. Orochimaru. The car reeked of him, the voice's origin found. I didn't dare look at him, because insults of his ugliness was already burning to be screamed out. "Hmm…" I heard his voice again, and this time I was certain. A small jingle was heard – probably those freaky long earrings that he wears.

My arm was bleeding. I didn't care. He started to drive, and I didn't care where, either. If he drives me to school, then fine. If he drives me to some sort of weird hideout, kill me now. If he plans to drive me to someplace desolate where there's no one and rape in the car, fine by me as long as I get to throw him across the universe.

"What's wrong, boy?"

No doubts now. It was definitely Orochimaru. I opened my eyes hesitantly but still refused to look the man straight in the eye. Instead I looked out the window and watched the scenery go by smoothly, and I imagined that I was in Itachi's car, his hand on my knee and a radio playing familiar music that we both know by heart.

"Hm? Look at me, Sasuke-kun."

Refuse. Refuse. Refuse. Don't. Never. Not in a million years. Scratch that. Not in a billion. Excuse me, I'm going to school with my big brother.

Red light. Damn. That gives him time to toy with me.

Orochimaru yanked my hair to the side, forcing my watering eyes to look at him. I looked down at the clean car floor, trying to somehow calculate how many atoms were on a square centimeter of that ground. "Hey, we're going to be spending a lot of time together from now on." His creepy voice scared me. I imagined that I was still in the car with Itachi, and we'd both be laughing at a stupid commercial that came up that featured Orochimaru attempting to sing 'I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt…'

"Itachi told me to bring you to school," Orochimaru said. Even though he was more than three inches away, I still felt his breath on my face. That gross, gross disgusting breath that filled my mind with horrible memories of the time I worked in that perverted restaurant that at times forced me to wear a stupid revealing maid's outfit that caused all of the perverts that went in the perverted restaurant to feel the need to up skirt me and pull me into an alleyway to fuck the shit out of me…

"Let go."

Rebel. Revolutionist. Perverts shall all die. Whenever Orochimaru sings 'The Thriller', one half of his soul will die. He should be dead by now. This is only a dream and right now I'm really at school with all my friends including Naruto and we'd be joking around about the stupid stuff that we always joke about, and I'd know everything would be going around fine because Itachi would be waiting at home with a warm smile on his face and…

"Now, now, don't be like that. I know that we'll be good friends soon."

"My brother wants me to be with you?" I demanded, my hands clawing at his chest so that he would let go of me. Stupid red light. It's that red light that turns green for five seconds only to torture the people in the back with the fact that they'll never make it to wherever they're going in time.

Orochimaru let out that cackle that sounded like a rapist/molester that was enjoying himself (which, of course, he was). "Yes, he told me himself. Now, you will do what I say all the time, you hear?"

I nodded slowly, cursing my brother as the red light turned to green, allowing us to pass the intersection. The only good thing that came out of that was that the school was in sight, and that Orochimaru turned into the parking lot, stopping the car.

I was about to step out of the car and rush into the school until Orochimaru seized my spikes and pulled me back into the car, closing the door as well. Screw you, was all that I thought. The more minutes it took me to get to class, the more minutes of scolding I was going to get.

A triumphant smirk rested on the snake's face, as he whispered again, "Do as I say, always." He crashed his lips onto mine, forcing his gross tongue into my mouth and pushing me up against the window, his hands around my wrists so that I couldn't move. I struggled, but Orochimaru's body was heavy against mine. The handle to open the door was so close yet so far. My eyes were shut tight when I felt his hands around my waist. I said a silent prayer to all of the heavenly beings out there, hoping that he would rape me or touch me or do anything to me.

"Don't." I managed to choke out. "I…have to go to school."

Orochimaru looked up through the window and he saw Kakashi walking through the hallways, approaching. The white haired sensei didn't seem to know what was going on inside the car, but he happened to realize that it was staying in front of the school for much too long.

"Go. I'll pick you up," Orochimaru snapped, opening the door and allowing my body to fall out before driving away so that Kakashi wouldn't see who was inside.

Never before have I been so thankful that I was near the school.

Kakashi dragged me into the hallway, while I dragged my backpack behind me. He had an angry and worried look in his eyes as he stomped me into an empty office. The sensei ordered me to sit – I did, not wanting to disobey him when he's this…mad.

"Sasuke, where were you yesterday and the first fifteen minutes of today?" Kakashi demanded. I blinked. Uh…I skipped school and was caught up in a stupid letter that my brother sent me in the morning.

"So I missed a few hours of school, big whoop. Kiba does it all the time and you never yell at him like this," I groaned. I was feeling rebellious that day. No way in hell was I going to respond to anyone ever again, because that Orochimaru already freaked me out enough for three years, thank you very much…

"…Sasuke…ah, never mind," Kakashi sighed. "Go to class, I'm leaving my own class waiting."

I watched him walk out of the office. Kakashi really does play his favorites, now doesn't he?

Yes, people. Lunch topics. We're freaking seniors, and we're still that immature. Stupid.

Lunch Topic: My absence and yesterday's lesson…?

I plopped down at the table in my usual spot, getting extra room because Naruto's…well, what he is. Not here. Gone. Dead. Rotting. Giving the ground nutrients and-

"Sasuke, where were you yesterday?" Kiba lazily asked, picking at the supposed slice of pizza that lay in front of him. I shrugged, not feeling the need to answer.

Young freshman sat at the table behind me, and I could feel their eyes on me. What was I, the new (well, not exactly new) high school god? Oh, one day they might find out that their idol isn't really what they think he is, that he has troublesome troubles at home that includes a rapist trailing you and an older brother that strayed from his promise yet again, and that I'm really an incestuous freak and homosexual and I suffer with my pathetic name that has it written all over me…

"Sasuke-kun, I missed you! You're not usually absent and you missed…an interesting and random class yesterday!" Ino came up from behind me and gave me her signature fan-girl glomp. She was probably begging those innocent freshmen to join her fan club and not Sakura's. "Where were you?"

"Home. I didn't feel too well, that's all." Technically, I wasn't lying.

Ino pouted and took her seat in Naruto's old one, her devious interrogating grin appearing yet again on her pale face. Ino flipped her hair back and sighed. "You still missed one of the most awkward classes that in which everyone actually paid attention to."

"Was it in Biology or something like that?" I smirked, the idea of what it is already bubbling in my mind.

Sakura shook her head, looking nervous. I stared at her intensely, trying to figure out what she was hiding from me. Sakura jerked up and gave out a fake laugh as she exclaimed, "It's really nothing important, Sasuke-kun! It was really…random, like Ino said. Nothing ultimately uncomfortable for most of us and…" The pink-haired girl realized that she was babbling too much.

My eyes looked her up and down as she let out more fake giggles and laughs as she looked apprehensively to the left and right.

I groaned. "Going to the roof."

The roof is still my haven. A birdhouse to the bird, a den to a bear, a room with a lock and radio to a teenager. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to assure myself that no one will bust in and ruin my life. My eyes closed – the feeling of wanting to just fall asleep and forget about the stupid life that I'm living kept growing in the few minutes I spent up here.

I remembered that during computer lab, the teacher deemed it necessary to teach us computer safety – MySpaces and all. Naruto and many other students fought back against what they believed what are right. The talk was when we were in sixth grade, and eventually it lead to lying about your age.

"Lying is lying. It's a sin, no matter how you put it." That old teacher was a real freak who always classified everything into two categories, holy and unholy. If you ask him if a doorknob is holy or unholy, he'd say that it is holy because (yes, he has a reason) it allows you entrance into a room.

"Yeah, but we're lying for our safety!" Naruto, the rebellious and yet idealistic boy he is, stands with the kids. He glares back at the teacher.

"If you have to lie to make yourself safe, you aren't in a safe place," the teacher wisely remarked.

I was half-asleep by that time, but that statement made me open my eyes. I shifted in my seat a little uncomfortably, staring out the window with my fingers digging into the chair. Naruto was glancing around the room for support, while I just stared out the window.

The teacher goes on to say that this world grew to become a dangerous place.

Doesn't he realize that since this world is a dangerous place, in tough situations we have to lie?

"So, what do you want us to do about it?" Naruto demands. "Delete them?"

"Yes. Class is over, pack up and leave," the teacher briskly said. A few groans emitted from students mouths and the already crotchety teacher snapped at them to shut the hell up.

I silently trailed behind the class, thinking about everything that they had said. I knew what he meant – because you're in a dangerous place, you feel the need to lie to keep yourself safe. If you're in a dangerous place, you should erase yourself from them.

Then if this world is a dangerous place, do we have to delete ourselves from them, too?

My eyes opened and I shook my head. All the time, I kept thinking of death as an option. But ever since I got my brother back, the option faded. Someone seemed to have colored it up again. I knew that the problems I had weren't so serious, but for some reason…

It's too easy to get tired of it all.

My fingers gripped my jacket sleeve as I stood outside of the restaurant that I worked in. The rain was pouring heavily, and my stupid jacket didn't have a hood. The weather man said that it would be a nice, sunny day today. Screw that.

And Itachi was also stupid enough to decide not to answer the phone the ten million times I called.

My home was just a little over a mile, since the restaurant was just a few blocks away from the school. I felt uneasy running home in the rain, and I considered taking a bus or taxi, or even deigning to go hitchhiking. Walking or running home didn't seem like an option to me.

Not in the rain. Not when I already feel crappy.

Headlights turned a corner, and a familiar black car pulled up in front of me. My hand left my sleeve as I grabbed the strap of my backpack, swiftly mustering up the courage to take the heavy, fat bag and slam it across the pervert's face.

"Sasuke-kun, don't you need a ride?" His creepy voice. My other hand curled into a fist as I bit my lip, thinking of what I should do. People stared at us, me, standing out in the rain without a hood while looking mad, and that jet black car with an open door and a stench of smoke radiating from it. I considered the possibility that I could just run into the restaurant and offer to work a few extra hours.

"Fine," I muttered under my breath, hoping he didn't hear the defiant tone. I climbed into the car, the smell of smoke never leaving my senses. I hadn't noticed that it smelt like that the first time I went in. Maybe next time I'll realize he has a corpse of another boy he decided to rape in the trunk.

"Hmm. You're all wet," Orochimaru had his sneaky smile on his face. I shivered, both from the cold water of the rain that I realized was soaking through the part of my jacket that I left open and from the fact that Orochimaru had his hand on my thigh. His hands felt freezing, like he just came from the North Pole.

"W-why are you…stalking me?" I tried to prevent my teeth chattering from the cold. He had the air conditioner on. I glared at him like he was truly a maniac that deserved to be thrown into hell, a fiery place with no air conditioner.

"I'm not stalking you," Orochimaru smugly said, his hand squeezing my leg rather harshly. I bit my lip harder to keep myself from crying out in pain. I felt blood dribble down my chin by my own wound. Blood tastes metallic. A taste that I've learned to get used to. "Your brother asked me to take you to school and back from now on."

Stop light. And it's that evil one, too.

I open my mouth to protest but Orochimaru squeezed my thigh a little harder this time.

More metallic liquid. I refuse to cry out. I refuse to give him any sort of pleasure.

Orochimaru gave me a grin as me unbuckled the seatbelt that I put on. Apparently, he was being a bad influence because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt either. The only security blanket that I had was gone now as he played with my waistband and roughly pressed his lips against mine.

To Unknown

You've always had a temper, Sasuke. I still can't tell you what's up, but since you replied I take it that you still would want to communicate like this. It's fine with me, and I'm glad that you learned to keep your mouth shut about this.

You've always been impatient, too. Sorry, but I'll have to try your patience in this matter. I can't give you answers just yet, and I'll figure this out on my own. Soon, everything will come back to normal, and I promise you this. Not only as your older brother, but as your lover.

Sasuke, I'm going to ask you this right now. I need a straightforward answer, too, not just some confused jumble of words that barely describe what you really mean (unless you really mean that you don't know, then just say so). If you don't know, answer as soon as you can, but only through these letters, alright?

Do you still hate me?

I know, stupid question after all we've been through. I can't help it, Sasuke. It's just that…I can't stand the fact that you may hate me. If you do, say so. If you want me to leave, just say so.

But for now, you'll just have to tolerate this stupid stuff a little longer.

I promise I'll make things right this time.

From Anonymous.

I was barely able to read it, or understand it at that point. I was exhausted, Itachi wasn't home, but since he wrote it he must've been home since I was. I ran my hands over my bruised lips and wished that it was Itachi who kissed me that night.

It took me forever to update! Sorry!

Well, thank you for the reviews! Please review again, and DON'T JUST FAVORITE/ALERT IT! They make me happy, but reviews make me happier, for some odd reason. Tell me anything that you feel you need to tell me. Flames are accepted as constructive criticism, too, y'know.