Dead Memories- Slipknot
Sitting in the dark, I can't forget
Even now, I realize the time I'll never get
Another story of the bitter pills of fate
I can't go back again, I can't go back again
But you asked me to love you and I did
Traded my emotions for a contract to commit
And when I got away I only got so far
The other me is dead, I hear his voice inside my head
And we were never alive and we won't be born again
But I'll never survive with dead memories in my heart
Dead memories in my heart
Dead memories in my heart
I walked towards Alice's room feeling defeated. He was engaged to an image of perfection and here I was, normality at its best. My clumsiness didn't get the best of me while heading up two stories and I entered my best friends room. She was looking at me with sadness and hope, though I can not gather what the hope was for, I am not able to hurt him like that.
"Bella, he will be with you. He still loves you he just hasn't realized yet. Please, don't beat yourself up over this. You are a strong girl, you can make it through."
I held back the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes and answered her, "Alice, I just learned that the one person I could probably ever love, is engaged to someone who looks like a white Tyra. How the hell can I compete with that?"
"Bella, you know as well as I do Edward cares more about whats inside the present, not the wrapping paper. If he just loves her because of the icy blue eyes and perfect rack then you can easily get him back. People do not fall out of a love as strong as you guys had. If it was possible nobody would be in a true relationship. I would recommend talking to her, size up your competition. That way you know what charm to use on him."
"I don't want to break them up though. Edward deserves happiness even if its not with me."
"Bella, get your selfless head out of your ass and think about it, if she is a blonde bimbo will Edward be truly happy? NO! Get to know her and see if she is right for him, if shes not pull out the Bella charm and send my brother back into your arms. If by some miracle she is a good significant other, then we will both hold off our plans for sabotage."
"So you want me to go down there, being Edward's ex and say, hey I'm Bella I want to be your best friend so I can figure out a way to break up you and the love of my life," sarcasm is my best friend when I am upset.
"No, I want you to go down there as Edward's almost sister and welcome her wholeheartedly into the family. If she asks anything about you and Edward's past relationship, lie. She will never trust you if she automatically thinks that you are trying to get back with him," Alice was being incredibly vindictive. I guess that she already disliked Tanya for some reason or another.
"I'll do it. Why are you being so vindictive? It's not like you to be this heartless towards someone you just met. Normally you are like a golden retriever, loving towards everyone."
"Bella, I am like a pit bull, and Edward has pushed me too far on this. I know what he feels and he is hiding it from himself, he needs a wake-up call. Also something tells me Tanya isn't as perfect as we make her out to be." Alice said as a slightly evil smirk spread across her face.
I started to head back down the stairs to talk to Tanya. If someone were to have told me yesterday that I would actively seek out my ex boyfriend's, who I happen to still love, new girlfriend I would have called them a moron. What female in their right mind seeks out a rival to make nice with them? A bitch that is what I am. I am stopping at nothing to get what I want, and the worst part is there are others feelings at stake. I could completely ruin this girl, and I am more worried about Edward hating me. I guess love really does make you do stupid things.
She is by herself in the living room. I knew Carlisle and Esme were planning on taking Edward out to eat as soon as he got in, just the three of them. I guess Tanya didn't count. Lucky me, I can now talk to her alone and Edward can't stop me.
"Hey, Tanya," I said in a false cheery voice that only Alice and my father could tell was a false cherry voice. For good measure I also plastered a huge fake smile on my face and stopped running ways of her untimely death through my head. I couldn't get over the one where she fell into the Pacific and was ripped to shreds by sea lions. "Do you mind if I talk to you?" I continued hoping she would not want anything to do with me, then at least I could not be labeled as the evil woman I am being.
"Bella, I would love to chat with you. I want to get to know all of Edward's family and almost family members," damn it.
"So how did you two meet?" I asked not really caring about the answer, but Alice told me to get to know her.
Tanya giggled and smiled at the memory. "Well he was in my stress management class and I was having a hard time committing my mind to meditation and he offered to help. I'm not sure if he helped much though, he is so gorgeous and his voice immediately made me think about things besides closing my mind and focusing on breathing. Anyways after many failed meditation tutoring sessions, he asked me on a date and of course I said yes. Who wouldn't he is like a model, but like our relationship grew from there."
What kind of idiot needs help in stress management? It is known as the blow off class. I got a hundred percent just for showing up everyday. "That's so sweet that he would help you," insert internal retching, "do you like Seattle?" This girl was a ditz I wondered if she even knew where she was.
"I thought that this is Bellvue, I like Bellvue and these homes are charming. This is nothing like Vegas though, everything here is so old and green covered. I hope we move some place newer when Edward buys a house. I hate old, history is soo boring." I want to hit her, hand stay at side please.
"Edward, loves old and I think he will want to stay in this area, he is very close with his family. I take it you are from Vegas." Cannot kill the dumb blonde who is marring the love of my life, even Charlie can't get me out of first degree murder. I don't see how he likes her. She can barley put an intelligent sentence together.
"How did you know that?' I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "O I guess I just mentioned it, silly me," she giggled again. I was waiting for her to start popping her gum and twirling he perfect even though I just spent nine hours on a plane hair through her fingers. "So did you ever like date Edward? Did you guys have sex? Is he any good? He wants to wait until marriage, but I'm like its not like we aren't getting married so why can't we. He won't tell me anything about his ex's and what they did together. Do you know anything? I really want to know." She whined out. I have a feeling she was from the ritzy part of Vegas, probably Anthem and she owned her own Porsche and has her own AMEX card. Stupid Bitch.
"No," I giggled trying to keep the sense of commadarie going," we never did anything. We only dated for a few months though nothing serious. He has always wanted to wait, he feels its something important that only a couple joined in matrimony should partake in. At least that what he told me from the time I fifteen. Anyways, what did you study?" I was curious on how this bimbo got into any school but a community college.
"I studied theater, even though I'm not very good. My parents would even give me their money if I graduated school. Now that I have Edward I won't need to graduate, he can help me out. If he doesn't want to I can always go back, it's only one more semester after all. I had to go to that school because it was the only one where the dean hadn't met me yet, so he thought I had more brain power then I did. Poor guy." So she acknowledges that she is a moron. Edward still dates her what the flying fuck is wrong in this world. Edward graduated with a 4.0 and a high end job and he is marring her? I guess he needs a trophy wife.
"That make sense, so are you using Edward for his money?" I had to ask.
"Oh, no. I would never do that. I can get what I need from my parents." She was lying to me, not two seconds ago I heard a door slam and the rest of the family come into the house. Sadly there was no time to see what she was lying about.
About an hour after my IQ dropping conversation with Tanya, Edward is finally alone. I want to talk to him, just so I can at least get my head around this relationship from hell. I guess we never had the conversation of the perfect woman for him, because he always called me perfect. I just don't get what he sees in her.
"Edward, do you want to go for a walk? Just so we can catch up." I asked my heart soaring upon seeing him. I can't help what I feel.
"Bella, of course." He smiled the first genuine smile I had seen on him since he got back. I guess he is happy to see me after all.
"Great just let me grad a coat and we will be off." I replied running to the Cullen coat closet and grabbing my water proof jacket.
I lead him out to the Cullen back yard and through the trees to the beach. One thing about Bellvue that I love is that some of the houses are right off the water. It's peaceful to go outside and think by the water, it reminds me of my time with Jacob, before he joined the army. He, unlike Edward was kept and is still on active duty.
"So, your fiance is very interesting. She's quite the looker," I said nudging him and smiling.
"Tanya is pretty, but that's not the reason I'm with her." He nudged me back causing me to stubble. He caught me before I hit the ground and my eyes met his. He pulled me into his arms, much like he did when we were still together. He looked at me and leaned down, almost pressing his lips to my own before he caught himself and kissed my forehead. "Silly, Bella always falling," he said trying to brush off the awkward moment.
"They why are you with her? Certainly not for her brains." Maybe he still cares and this will be easier then I thought.
"I love the life in her, it almost reminds me of you." I snorted how can he compare me to someone who doesn't know the difference between even and odd numbers. He smiled and continued, "she knows how to have a good time. She is constantly planning new ways to keep us entertained." I do that too I thought.
"Do you really think that will keep you together for a lifetime? It's not like you can have an interesting conversation with her." I can't make him mad, I need him in my life even if he is just a friend.
"Well, no, but she makes up for it in other areas like random ideas. I have friends that I can have conversations with." He looked at me saying I was just a friend. "So what about you? Do you have any fiances I need to beat off with sarcasm and a stick?"
"No, I guess I have never met anyone else." I really wanted to avoid this part of our conversation. "Edward can we talk about something happier. All this stuff about you marring someone else is kind of a downer."
"Sure thing, love. What do you study or do for a living." I noticed he avoided the typical I haven't talked to you in so long that follows the question.
"I got my associates in culinary arts and published a couple cookbooks. Now I don't really do much but try to find new recipes. I still live with Charlie, most of the time, because he needs help. His heart isn't doing too good and I don't want him to be alone."
"That's my girl, always putting others before herself. So what do you mean you live with Charlie most of the time?" He has called me "love" and "my girl" in the past five minutes, does he even love Tanya?
"I live at your house too. I have my own room and everything. Alice convinced Carlisle that since I spent so much time over there I should have my own room and the like. Every week I stay the night about three times." That really was Alice's idea, she said I spent so much time there that I might as well have my own room.
"Wow, that's awesome."
"Edward, what are you doing once you get on your feet?" I couldn't help but ask.
"I got a job as a marketing director for Starbucks. I will be starting it next month and then I will be buying a house in this area so that I can be close to work. I guess I also have to help Tanya plan our wedding." He said the last bit as if he were frustrated about something.
"Do you want to marry Tanya? If not I'm sure Alice can scare her off." Maybe he doesn't want to be with her.
"Not right now. She is forcing me into it saying that her family will only continue to give her money if she marries me, and the like. I would rather wait to make sure, but she wants to do it now. I don't have a problem with marriage per say, but I am not sure if Tanya is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with."
She was lying, I just had to let him see the truth. Alice and I will come up with a plan tonight over margaritas. "If your not sure why not just tell her that?"
"I don't want to make her mad. She is the best thing to happen to me for a long time, and I can't imagine getting rid of her. I am sure forever will work if we are both invested in it."
"I am sure," I replied sarcastically. "So I'm hungry and your fiance probably wants to see you, do you want to head back? Alice and I have a girl's night out planned, and no your blonde barbie is not invited."
"Sure, hey do you know when Rosalie is coming home? Tanya said she wanted to meet her."
"Not for a month or two she is doing shoots in Australia and Emmett is with her." Maybe that's the key to thing whole mess.
We walked towards our large Victorian style home and I called Alice, "Meet me in my car," was all I told her.
Four hours and two strong margaritas later Alice and I are plotting on my bed at Charlie's house. Normally I wouldn't plan to ruin someone's life, but I really think she is lying about something.
"Alice, what should we do?" I slurred out, I am a lightweight.
"I think she is lying about something too Bells, we need to make Edward see the truth. No one scams my brother."
"True that, no scams the love of my life and gets away with it. How do we make him see it though?"
"We need to build up a case against her, and then present the evidence. This of course only works if she doesn't reveal her true colors first. I think she will do just that. What do you think she is lying about?" Alice is nowhere near as tipsy as I am, its rather comical too. I have a good thirty pounds on the girl.
"Money and why she is with Edward. She said that she went to college so that she could still get money from her parents and Edward told me that she would only get it if she married him. I don't see why she would lie about that though unless she is a gold digging whore. She is after something else, I don't think she even loves him. I don't think that Edward loves her all that much either, he gave me this speal on how she was fun."
"Yes, I see now. OK Bella here's the plan." Alice said in a serious voice. "First you need to become a best friend to Tanya. I know it will be hard but its the only way to weasel information out of her. Second, you need to get close to Edward again. It will be really easy because on the way out the door I caught the smile he only got when he was with you. Last you need to figure out her life plans, before she found Edward. Something in the back of my mind tells me that's the key to figuring her out."
"Operation Get Tanya Out of the Picture and Steal my Man Back, commence," I said causing Alice to break into hysterical laughter. This is going to suck and be fun at the same time.
End Notes- Here is the second chapter to my story. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review. Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter and added my story. I will probably forget to thank you in my chapters to come. Also I may edit and re-post the first chapter because I am not super pleased with it. If you want me to let me know!