Disclaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or any of J. R. R Tolkien's works. Everything belongs to whoever owns them, my wishful thinking aside.
Authors Note #1: This is my fourth time dipping my toes into Tolkien's Hobbit/LOTR's universe, so I hugely appreciate any and all feedback/constructive criticism you have to offer. The pairing in this fic is Dwori (Dwalin/Ori) and a tiny bit of Bagginshield if you squint.
Warnings: Contains spoilers for 'The Hobbit' and 'The Desolation of Smaug.' This is set in an 'everyone lives' style AU. Basically follows canon save for instead of Dori losing grip on Gandalf staff, it is Gandalf instead. Expect canon appropriate violence, mature language, minor mention of body image issues, age difference, size difference, characters being adorable little shits, dwarvish courting rituals, magical shenanigans, Gandalf's staff is a troll, semi-established dwori relationship, first time, slash, and – oh yeah – smut.
Manflesh
Chapter Two
It was the unseasonable chill, more than anything, that woke him.
"In my personal experience, incidents with my staff generally work themselves out in due time, Master Dori," Gandalf imparted, voice decidedly strained, like he'd gone over this particular point more than once. Clearly well into some sort of argument as a chorus of muttering nearly overwhelmed the crackling of a nearby fire as supper simmered away.
Though, Dori's well-intentioned bleating certainly wasn't helping matters.
"Generally!?" Dori shrilled, presumably from somewhere in the vicinity of his right hip. Muscles straining against him in such a way that he could practically picture his brother craning his neck, jabbing and huffing in order to give the wizard a proper tongue lashing.
He blinked – eyes slitting open grudgingly – adjusting to the mid-day light as the shadowy forest canopy took shape above him. He held back a yawn, fussing a bit as he let his eyes flutter shut. He didn't remember falling asleep but clearly someone had forgotten to tell Dori and Gandalf it was bedtime. Because frankly, there simply wasn't any other explanation he could think of for-
"Now Dori, try and see sense," Balin cautioned, using the same calming tone he'd used the first day of his apprenticeship when he'd managed to overturn his ink bottle all over a rare second edition of the private life of Durin the Deathless. "This is just an unhappy accident. I am sure Gandalf can put things to rights in time."
His lashes fluttered, fanning across the hollows as he stirred, unable to hold back a whine when a jolt of soreness arced through him. No, something wasn't right. He peeked through half-opened eyes and nearly whimpered when the thick leafy green of a cheerful forest canopy greeted him.
He didn't remember a forest. Not one that wasn't on fire anyway.
The last thing he remembered was the Carrock and Dwalin and-
"But he's a-a-man! For Mahal's sake! How is this even possible? How can we be sure that Ori is still even-"
He squeezed his eyes closed, blinking quickly, but the landscape refused to change. All he got was a glimpse of gnarled trunks and a couple different pairs of trousers – Bifur, Balin, maybe even Oin - spinning around him in lazy, off-centred circles as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing.
Mahal, he felt like he'd gotten hit with one of Dwalin's war hammers!
"Not just any man. Good heavens, calm yourself and look at his face! This is no impostor or changeling switch, Master Ri. This is your brother. Or, at least, who your brother would have been if he'd been born into the race of men," Gandalf returned, unquestionably sharp this time as he succeeded in cutting Dori off mid-tirade.
He closed his eyes, feeling a strange sort of lightness in his limbs as his head throbbed in time with what felt like every muscle in his body. Mahal, how he ached! Had he fallen? He must have.
Oh, how embarrassing!
They must have carried him all the way down. He bit his lip, fretting as Dori's words from before they left the Blue Mountains pierced sharp through the confusion. He'd accepted his mentor's invitation for the quest without consulting him. He'd been too excited to take the chance that Dori would refuse to let him leave. And with good reason, Dori had been furious with him. It had taken Nori almost two days to calm him down and make him see reason. But not before he'd suffered the brunt of his brother's temper.
He hadn't received such a sound tongue-lashing since he'd been a dwarfling. And it was certainly a memory he didn't relish. For all his brother's politeness and manners, he could be downright frightful when he set his mind to it.
He frowned. Because while a certain part of his reasoning rang true, he knew that wasn't the whole of it. He forced heavy lids open, fighting a frustrated groan as someone jostled the sore muscles along his side, trying to shake off the last vestiges of fog that clung – stubborn – in the back of his mind.
They'd been on the Carrock, the Lonely Mountain in their sights. Dori had been yelling, holding him up as Fili and Kili whirled around. Twin flares of concerned blond and black as the silhouettes of the departing eagles vanished into the background.
He remembered being unable to catch his breath. Feeling the weight of what felt like a half the gold in Erebor crushing his chest as he watched his hand shiver and twist. Dwalin had been there, that much he was certain of. Worry and concern flooding handsome features as they'd met eyes through the crush.
Gandalf had been standing over him, murmuring something in a language he didn't recognize, the jeweled head of his staff flaring to life as-
His eyes flew open as awareness returned in a rush.
"D-Dori?"
He jerked up, muscles screaming, elbows digging into the dirt as the others stilled above him. Eerily quiet and fidgeting as they closed the protective circle around him. Any other time it would have calmed him. But today it only served to remind him how wrong it was. How strange he felt. How-
"Dor-" he stammered, cutting himself off and slapping a hand across his mouth when he realized that what sounded like his voice was actually different. Like the tone and pitch were off only slightly, just enough for him to register the strangeness of it as Oin sank down on his haunches, trying to get him to lay back down.
Only he was having none of it.
His brother was at his side in a blink, as soothing as a den mother and as spitting mad as a hen with a clutch of missing eggs. A sound accompaniment to Nori who was already snapping at the others to give them some space as he flailed around, trying to get a good look at himself.
He sucked in a shaky breath, letting go of a confused whine when he realized he was naked from the waist down. His heart hiccuped in his throat, feeling the twitch of unfamiliar muscles when he realized he barely recognized himself. His teeth clacked together, shivering and on the verge of losing it completely as wide eyes stared uncomprehendingly.
And who could blame him? Especially given the figure he cut! He was practically on level with the trees! All lean legs and the curl of a decidedly delicate looking hip poking out of the bed roll - Bombur's by the look of it – that'd been wrapped around his waist to cover his nakedness.
But that wasn't all.
That wasn't even the worst of it.
He squeaked, running his hands down his face as he wrenched himself upright. Accidentally unseating Nori, Oin and Dwalin like they were nothing more than balls of yarn on his lap, weighty but unexpectedly easy to move now that his weight was so strangely spread out.
His nose, his hands, beard, mouth, hair – everything!
For a long moment he felt as awkward as a dwarfling. Uncoordinated and slightly unhinged as he flailed around, trying to get his bearings. The forest canopy stuttered, staining the air above his head in a violent blur of green and tan. Everything else felt distant as he wobbled in place, bare toes clenching at the dirt and undergrowth like by sheer force he could anchor himself down.
He panted, struggling for breath as half a dozen hands tugged and pulled, familiar voices echoing tinnily, like metal ringing down a distant mine-shaft as a whole host of conflicting signals – brain and body suddenly at odds with one another, ill-timed and horribly out of sync – screamed through him like dragon's fire.
"Breathe, Ori! Before you pass out! There's a lad!" Bofur encouraged, ear flaps whizzing back and forth, trying to shore him up on his left as Dori took the right.
He stumbled, blinking as he reared up.
High.
For a long moment that was all that registered.
It was high. Too high.
His arms wind-milled, cutting through the air above even Dwalin's head as the world whirled around him in a rush.
Oh Mahal. Oh dear. Oh-
His hands clenched together, pressing the heels against his eyes like he could scrub out what his senses were telling him.
High, high, high, high… Oh, far too high!
He wasn't ashamed to admit that he let go of an involuntary whimper as he swayed. Eyes level with Gandalf's hat for a tremulous half second before he fell forward, legs giving out underneath him.
He hit the dirt with a bone-rattling thud, arms splayed out in front of him - taut belly in the dirt - as the others crowded around. Pulling up the blanket that had slipped clear off his hips, leaving nothing but an endless span of freckles and a light dusting of tawny auburn hair.
Mahal's mercy! He was a- a-
"I am sorry, my dear Ori. But it appears that in rescuing my staff, we seem to have run into a small problem," Gandalf remarked, breaking the silence with an apologetic smile, the hem of his robes ghosting across tightly clenched knuckles as he dug his fingers firmly into the dirt. Trying to ground himself as his stomach did somersaults, churning and upset as his brothers pressed close – carding their hands through short hair and generally trying to smother him with well-meant comfort.
"Small!" Dori shrilled, beard puffing in affront. "You call this a small problem!?"
A/N #1: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think! Reviews and constructive critiquing are love! – I am so glad so many of you have shown interest in this story despite how utterly ridiculous it is! I hope I can continue to enthrall and titillate! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
Reference: In case anyone missed the cues, human!ori is basically Adam Brown, the real life actor that plays him. So, think Adam Brown without his 'dwarvish features' if you are trying to get a handle on what human!ori looks like.