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Aliens and Ninja

So sitting in my car, next to me is a manic that is strong enough to break my car window with his firkin elbow, and then there is water. Like going under the car washer only the water is only spraying on my front window and its using such force that the car is rolling backwards.

So for another second mystery guy and I have a moment of understanding at least I think we do and that is that until we understand this bizarre phenomenon everything else is on hold.

Then I put the car in park and it stops rolling. We're just sitting there with water being sprayed at my windshield.

"OI!" I scream while honking my horn. I should like to point out that freak out man has once again jumped a few feet in the air. This can so not be a healthily thing for the guy bleeding to be doing. The horn did seem to make the water stop.

I turn on my windshield swappers and I see that a little ways away from my car is an alien. Look the guy has green hair ok? Oh and he now has my 'friends' sword.

I notice that both the alien and my passenger are watching the windshield swappers intensely.

"Err…" My damsel in distress ignores me in favor of trying to hypnosis himself with the windshield swappers.

"Ok… I can make them go faster…and slower…" I demonstrate and they watch them even closer. I consider pressing the windshield cleaner button but I'm not sure if they can handle that much excitement.

Then the guy holding other guy's sword screams and runs toward us with the big ass sword.

I frown and try to figure out what that idiot thinks he's doing.

"Am I on a movie set?" I ask the world at large.

Then the guy leaps at us and I turn the car to reverse while pressing the gas.

He lands on the hold of the car, but wasn't really expecting it to move so as I hit reverse he falls head first into my windshield, not breaking the glass thank goodness, but the sword he was holding is a big, heavy, ass sword and not only dents part of the hood, but cracks some of the glass on the passengers side of the window.

This displeases me greatly.

"Why does everyone keep hurting my poor car!" I scream in rage as I change the gears to drive and push the metal down hard.

Alien dude gets thrown, kind of rolled over my car. Like over the hood and off of it.

I look behind me, see that the guy has landed on his feet somehow and decried that 1 I'm dreaming and 2 that fucker tried to kill me so game on.

I reverse again and gas it. He almost doges me, but little does Alien boy know that I have mastered both the 3 point turn and the parallel park so I can and did turn while I was backing up and ran right over him.

As I felt a very disturbing thud and realize that I just killed someone. (Not that it really counts because I'm dreaming!) I slowly bring my car to a stop after I've passed the point where his body should be and I guilty look at what should be a dead body and I see the green haired man is getting up.

I frown and my hand itches towards the gears. No I must not squish weird man like cockroach. Then the man shots water at us again, only it's not all that funny now because the sword had been rather precariously wedged between the metal and the glass on my car so when the water hits the sword goes straight though and we all get wet.

Luckily passenger guy grabs his sword before it slices us in half somehow and I who understand only that my glass is broken, I am wet, and I can feel both my gas petal and the gear shift, use this knowledge to drive straight thought the water and run over the guy again.

The water stops. I realize I am covered in blood, water, and glass, my passenger friend is holding his sword looking very impressive and macho without his seatbelt on, and that the now bloody form lying in my review mirror is still twitching.

Reverse, drive, reverse, drive, reverse, drive.

I very calmly take my hands off the steering wheel and put them in my lap I then turn to my companion and ask with a smile.

"Do you think we got him?"

He stares at me for several mins in fact we both stare at each other and I don't have a clue what he's thinking, and then- then two more aliens appear.

Blue hair and gravity defying hair, what's up with the hair? Hey are those headbands those guys are wearing?

Then the guy I only now begin to suspect isn't a cosplayer swings his big sword with great speed though my missing windshield and kills them both. Well that was anticlimactic after all the trouble with the other one.

"So they were ninja and not aliens?" I ask the now sword less cold bloodied missing-nin of the mist course he doesn't answer me.

"Huh. Defiantly a dream. Those ninja were like really weak though. I mean I beat one of them with a car and you killed two with speed and a sharp pointy thing."

He stares at me.

"Lame." I concur. "Very, very lame."

I drive us closer to the dead ninja.

"Well you threw it, go fetch!" I motion to the big ass sword. He says…nothing, but leans back slightly and seems to be trying to look completely unconcerned.

"Alright if you don't want it we'll leave it." So I slowly began to turn the car around and he makes a break for it. For some reason he acts like he's making a break for it. He does know that he wasn't trapped in my car as my prisoner right?

So he jumps out of my car though the broken window does a neat roll of the ground which is impressive considering he needs to be in a hospital, then he runs and grabs his sword and he stares at me some more.

"I'm not going to try and kill you with my car…Promise!"

He seems undecided about what to do at the moment and while I really should leave him here seeing as dream ninja should be able to hand blood gushing stomach wounds just fine, I would really rather not be alone and he like owes me for…my jacket. I didn't really save his life or anything, but that jacket I am owed.

Deciding looking non hostile is best I slowly get out of my car the normal way. Then I start wailing because my car.

"MY CAR!" "Look what happened to her! Look at it!"

I begin to circle my car counting up the amount of damage in my head and then wailing even louder.

My once passenger ninja begins to look less like he was thinking of us fighting to the death and more like he was extremely uncomfortable because he had no idea what to do with an upset young woman.

After I had wailed a decent amount I approached the back of my car and popped the trunk. By the time I had found what I was looking for my looking worse for wear ninja had come up behind me to stare at the oddity of a trunk. He must think it looks like its eating me when I put my head down in it.

Of course I found a trash bag full of old clothes I was taking to Goodwill. Why? Why was it my beautiful new jacket that had to die!

Finally armed with my ice scrapper and with a curious, but very pale looking ninja at my side or rather my back as he so didn't trust me, I went to the front of the car where I had left my door open and began to try and shovel, scrap, and push the shards of glass out of my car. It was a miracle I wasn't- ah I was cut a few times. They were just so damn sharp I couldn't even feel it.

Oh this will be, not! Now where's my tweezers? I'm sure I have some of this in my skin.

Oh yeah it's in the… emergency kit… What good is an emergency kit if you run into someone dieing and you don't remember you have it?

"Back to the Truck!" I scream just to see the ninja jump. It's really quick funny to startle these people.

Ah there's my emergency kit. It might seem cruel of me to start putting bandages on my little cuts when the ninja guy could use more then a few of them so I sit in the dirt because my clothes are already ruined and I wave him over while I start opening my kit. Of course he doesn't come over so I start to throw some bandages at him when I realize he has passed out again. Really?

I don't usually do this, but considering everything that's happened to me lately I look up and in a moment of peaceful contemplation about everything that's happened to far I ask.

"Really?" Much like from the passed out imaginary ninja there is no answer.