HPFC Challenge: "A Deathly Hallows Quote Competition" : Quotes (underlined in the story) : Lily drew herself up to her fullest height and said, wish as much contempt as she could muster, "And what do you want?" and "I merely sought to greet you. But if my presence is not welcome…"
Summary: Life, almost by definition, is unpredictable. It takes pride in its ability to bring out the unexpected, and it can change – literally – on a dime or, in this case, a letter. This is the story of how Lily Evans' life changed completely and irrevocably. For the bad… and for the good.
2
James Potter was having a very good day.
It had started, as days generally do, in his bed, though James was quite perplexed as to why it was so early. Typically, the Marauders didn't wake up until after at least eleven on weekends and, if James was right (and he usually was) it was a Saturday today. Yet, despite all these quite obvious facts, James was awake, and he was going to stay that way for a while.
Now, James sometimes has what he likes to call instinct, and his instincts would tell him to go somewhere, or do something. Sometimes, James couldn't tell why doing a certain thing had been a good idea, while other times it clearly paid off. James remembered, just last week, when instinct had prompted him to head down to Potions, even though he had a Herbology class that same hour. Bidding adieu to his friends, and unable to explain to them exactly where he was going, James had allowed his feet to carry him off towards Slughorn's classroom, where he'd found the Professor in need of some help moving things. The work had been boring, as he'd had to listen to Slughorn's bragging and praises for the whole hour of work, but he'd later learned that he'd missed a bad batch of Bronticus Hillplights in Herbology, and that he'd been the only member of the class to avoid being sent to the Infirmary. In fact, he'd been the only member of the class that hadn't spent dinnertime retching in the Infirmary, a point that Sirius was still a little sore about.
Considering how much that boy drank, you'd think he'd be used to retching by now.
Nonetheless, James had learned to listen to his instinct, and right now, his instinct was telling him that the Common Room – or at least, down the dormitory stairs – would be a good place to be.
This time however, you could call James' instincts "fate."
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, James noticed three things, each in quick succession of the other. The first thing he noticed, especially because of his thin pajamas, was the extraordinarily cold air in the Common Room. Then, he realized that the fire, for some reason, was out, and that the only light in the room was the sunshine that was streaming through the window. He had, in fact, woken up in time for the sunrise, and the sun was in the middle of its process of peeking out from behind the mountains. Lastly, James realized that he wasn't alone in the Common Room, as he could quite clearly make out an unmistakable head of the most vivid red hair.
"Lily!" he exclaimed, surprised and pleased. It was rare for the two to have moments alone, and James had begun to relish them. True, before this year, a moment alone with Lily Evans might result in her hexing him straight to the Infirmary, but after he'd become Head Boy, Lily had allowed him a grudging acceptance into the "acquaintance" circle of hers, and he'd recently managed to obtain a much sought after "friend" title. Of course, being Lily's friend isn't what James wanted – not at all – but after long, deliberate, and sometimes painful deliberation, he had realized that the only way to make Lily fall in love with him (and to make her realize that he was in love with her) was to prove to her that he could be mature, and then take it from there.
So, it was no surprise that James was happy at seeing Lily, especially as they were alone, but Lily didn't have the same reaction to his presence, nor any reaction that he could have expected, now that he was her friend. Because, as James watched, Lily drew herself up to her fullest height and said, wish as much contempt as she could muster, "And what do you want?"
The bitter hatred in her tone acted as a shove against James' fragile (ahem "manly") heart as he literally took a step backwards, away from her seething rage. She hadn't even dignified his presence with her face, as she was still facing away from him as she'd spit those words out at him, glaring with her fists clenched at the still unlit fireplace.
Now, having studied Lily Evans for the better part of seven years, James could tell, instantly, that there was something wrong with the girl of his dreams. Lily, he'd learned from painful experimentation, was nothing if not logical, and, if she was being rude to him, there was probably a reason. Yet still, James (as usual) couldn't keep his emotions in check, and his defensive mechanism kicked into gear as he responded just as icily.
"I merely sought to greet you. But if my presence is not welcome…" truly, James was not angry with Lily. He'd tried before, to be angry at her – to get mad and not forgive her until she apologized – but, truly, he just couldn't do it. He'd found, long ago, that one of the downsides at being helplessly in love with someone is that they're always right, and – at least in James' eyes – Lily could never be wrong. Still, James was hurt and confused at Lily's words. He'd "grown up," just for her, and she'd accepted him, promised that she could overlook his past mistakes if he didn't make any more. She'd even understood last month's prank on the Slytherin bathrooms and, though she had desperately tired to hide it from him, he'd been sure he'd seen a smile at her face when someone brought her the news. James had been sure, absolutely certain, that he'd started getting somewhere with her, but just as that certainty had kicked in, there she went again, glaring at the wall, unable to even look at him out of hatred.
Frustrated, confused, and hurt, he turned to go, but just as he'd put his foot on the first step of the dormitory stairs, he heard her stir from behind him, and he caught the mere breath of a desolate whisper from behind him, "James…"
Turning, already prepared to accept her apology, to forgive her and continue talking about the morning and whatever else came to their minds, he felt his words die in his throat. Though Lily could never look less than beautiful to James, she was tragic that morning, standing there alone in the Common Room. Her eyes were rimmed in red and there were tears drifting down her face as more splashed out of her eyes even now. She was wearing her nightdress, and James realized with a start that, if he was cold, she must have been freezing.
Quickly, his heart beating heavily for her, he unbuttoned his pajama top, rushing to her just as she collapsed out of fatigue and grief. James caught her, cradling her delicately as one would a porcelain flower, not the real thing, he carefully lowered her onto the couch, holding onto her firmly as she clutched to him desperately. He draped his shirt around her shoulders, gently easing her arms into it and then just simply holding her as she cried into his bare skin. He didn't know how long they stayed there, him holding her, and her crying, but it was long enough for others to awaken, to see them and hastily retreat, either out of the Portrait Hole of back to their dormitories. Even her friends kept their distance, understanding that, for once, this wasn't something they could mend with simple soothing words and loving smiles. No one knew exactly what had happened to Lily Evans, but everyone knew that, today, the world was a sad, sad place.