Life Lesson Two: Being nice to that lonely kid isn't that bad
Cartman
I've been acting weird recently. I don't know why I've been thinking these things, but I have been. I don't know why I've been acting like this, but I am. It's weird. I usually know exactly what I'm doing and know exactly why I'm doing them. Whether the reasons are good or bad. This situation has been troubling to me though. I did something friendly to someone I've never liked and I didn't have to. I did it because I wanted to. Why did I want to do that? I smiled at Butters. Butters. The kid who doesn't have any friends and let me walk all over him! I mean he always smiles at me every day, sometimes more than once. Hell, he'll smile at anyone who looks at him! I mean, nobody really looks at him often though; he blends in with the rest of the students decently enough not to be noticed. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like, to be practically unseen while surrounded by people. I was always noticed, even after I lost a lot of weight people still stared at me. I got used to it though. It never has bothered me, at least not really. Some days though I just want to fade away and be unnoticed for once, just be a regular kid. I guess that's what it's like being Butters. But back to what I was thinking, why did I do that? I just saw his soft little smile and felt like I needed to respond back. Maybe I'm thinking into this too much.
I looked behind me into the full school bus, at all the kids as they talked to their neighbors and friends. I looked over at Butters, who was sitting alone in a seat near the back. He was staring out of the window, his headphones plugged in. He looked lonely. I turned back around in my seat, looking over at Kyle and Stan who were in the seat next to Kenny and mine. Kyle looked annoyed and slightly embarrassed, while Stan asked him something that I couldn't hear. I looked back at Kenny, who was quietly sitting next to me. He was staring upwards at the head of the person who was sitting in front of us detachedly. It looked like he wasn't really looking at the person, but just staring off into space. I wouldn't bother him then. I pulled out my bag before I began working on my homework.
"He's staring at you."
I stopped writing, turning my head to look over at Kenny who was still looking zoned out.
"What did you just say?" I asked him, confused and thinking that I might have been hearing things.
"I said he's staring at you," Kenny said again, this time turning his head to look at me. What the hell is talking about?
"Who's staring at me?" I asked.
"Butters."
I looked behind me, seeing his big blue eyes looking right at me. He then blinked a few times before looking away. Was he just accidently staring at me or was he doing it on purpose?
"He was staring at you. He wasn't just looking into the distance," Kenny said, his head moving back to look at the ceiling.
"How do you know? I didn't see you move your head to look at him to confirm this," I said. It's like knows everything about the people in this town and how they act. He probably does too.
"I just know people," he said, not moving a single part of him but his mouth as he continued looking into nothingness. I will never fully understand him. Something about him is so much different from every other person I know. He has this sort of mature and knowing aura about him that sets him apart from all the other kids at this school. I guess that's why he's my best friend.
Oh yeah, today's Friday. Why am I doing my homework right now again? I have all weekend to do this shit. I put my homework back into my bag before leaning back against my seat, lazily trying to come up with something interesting to think about. Let's see… what am I doing with my life as of right now? Oh yeah. Nothing. Just being a dead-end kid who hangs out with his other dead-end friends. Ah, fun. The life of a kid these days is full of excitement and wonder. I'm hanging out with Kenny tomorrow and maybe we'll do something more interesting than play video games like we usually do. I flopped my head to stare at Kenny's shoulder. Who am I kidding anyway, we never do jack shit. And by 'who' I mean myself because right now I am just thinking also I am really stupid? I groaned and closed my eyes. Tonight was going to be a long night.
I rolled over on my bed once, twice, three times and then I fell over the edge. My stomach smacked against the plush carpet with a muffled thud and I flipped over onto my back. My eyes cracked open, staring at the bright ceiling. Why is the ceiling so bright it's only like 9 AM. I grabbed my phone, which was conveniently located on the floor after I got pissed at it last night and threw it down there, and pressed a button so I could see the time. 1:42 PM. I slowly stood up and stretched my arms over my head, letting out a little moan as I heard my back pop. I then took off the shirt I had been wearing since yesterday and replaced it with a slightly cleaner one before slipping on a pair of Vans. I was still wearing the jeans I had on yesterday and didn't care that they were pretty wrinkly and smelly, mainly because it's just Kenny and he has no room to give a shit anyway. I reached down and grabbed my phone before slipping into my pocket and then walked out of my bedroom door into the bathroom. I exited the said restroom before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a jacket and my car keys and yelling into the hallway to Mom that I was leaving to go to Kenny's. I don't know if she said okay or not but I told Kenny I'd be at his house by 1:30.
I got to Kenny's house to find the front door wide open. I walked inside the house before making my over to where I knew his room was. God damn it his house is freezing. It's like the same temperature as it is outside. I opened up Kenny's room to find him sprawled out over his sheets nearly naked save for a pair of black boxers. I walked towards him and pushed him over, watching his form move slightly over as he mumbled something that may or may not have included him calling me 'Ma.'
"Kenny wake up you piece of trash it's 2 PM," I said, punctuating my sentence with another shove to Kenny. He woke up, I think, and started grumbling. He then sat up and opened his eyes. I think he finally understood that it was actually me and not one of his family members and he smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry dude, I forgot you were comin' to pick me up at 1:30 until just now," he said and stood up, walking over to a pile of clothes near his bed and taking off a shirt and a pair of pants from near the top. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, you remember when I come to your house and shake you awake," I mumbled, not really caring that much that he was still sleeping but still feeling the need to say something about it. He finished putting on his clothes and shoes and then he grabbed an orange hoodie that was similar to the jacket he had when we were kids except it didn't have the mouth cover. So he stapled a bit of an orange bandana into where the mouth cover would go three years ago when he got a new jacket. He really needs to get someone to actually sew it in there because the staples are coming undone and they've cut into his face before. He left the jacket unzipped and then walked up to me, smiling a grin that showed off all his yellow-white teeth.
"So what are we gonna do today?" he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. I hadn't thought of that.
"Let's go to my car and think about it there. It's ape-shit freezing in your house, man," I said and started walking towards my car, with Kenny right behind me. We got into my car, me cranking up the heat to full blast as I felt the hot air blow straight into my face. I sighed happily and looked over at Kenny whose face was right up on the air vent with his eyes shut. I almost laughed at how happy he looked to have something as simple as warm air. He didn't move so I decided to bring something up first.
"We could go down to the pond. Or go to the mall," I said, gazing at my dashboard and checking to make sure I had enough gas to take us around for the rest of the day.
"No man, it's way too cold to go to the pond at this time of year. And I don't have enough cash to pay for anything at the mall. Let's just go to Starbucks or something," he said, his face never moving from its position in front of the air vent. I hit the gas and started moving forward, towards the direction of our local Starbucks.
We got there a few minutes later, I parked the car in the parking lot and we started walking towards the entrance quickly to avoid the cold air. We walked into the warm oasis of coffee-smelling air and the ever-steady heaters that gave the little place a cozy feel that was very welcoming compared to the cold January air outside. Kenny plopped down into one of the big chairs and leaned back, closing his eyes and most likely just listening to the slow music that was playing from the speakers. I walked to the register and ordered two coffees, one vanilla latte for Kenny and a dry, plain old coffee for myself from Tweek. He started working there earlier this year, from a bit of a rebellious streak that made him quit working at his dad's coffee shop and work at a name brand shop instead. The one thing I hate about ordering from Starbucks is that I have to say my first name for the barista to write down on the cup. I always feel uncomfortable when someone calls me by my first name that isn't a figure of authority or Butters. I really just got used to Butters calling me Eric because he's known me since we were little kids and before I decided that I hated my name and would rather be called Cartman. I just got used to it, I guess. I sat down next to a big chair next to Kenny and waited for our coffees to be ready.
Tweek called out 'Eric and Kenny' and I stood up and grabbed our coffees. I handed Kenny his and he started slowly sipping on it. I did the same and gazed up at the ceiling before I started absently chatting to Kenny about the loads of homework we had been assigned over the weekend. He agreed with me, stating that, quote, "there is no way in motherfuckin' Hell that I am goin' to do all this shit." I laughed and then looked around, noticing a few classmates tapping away on their laptops or doing some unfinished homework. One struck me though. Butters Stotch was sitting down at a two-seater table that was against the window on the other side of the coffee shop. He looked serious, his laptop was open and he had a few papers surrounding him that were taking up the entirety of the table. He had his headphones plugged in again.
"Go talk to him," Kenny said, his face close to the cup as he took another sip. I looked at him confusedly.
"Why would I do that?" I asked while looking back at Butters who was staring out of the window seeming so lonely it almost hurt to look at him.
"How about you invite him to hang out with us today too. He's a sweet kid," Kenny said, setting down his cup and scooting in his seat so that he now sat upright.
"Why don't you ask him?" I said. He was the one who was so persistent about all of this, why won't he just do this himself.
"Because he'll say yes to me out of generosity but he'll say yes to you out of genuine reasons," he said, grinning. "I'll come too if that makes you feel any better," he added. I snorted at the last part and thought this over some. Yeah, he's a spineless Melvin but if he does anything too bad when can tell him to go home and he won't think anything of it. He'll probably blame himself. And, although I will die before I admit to thinking this, it's really sad to see a kid who can be so happy look so lonely all the time. I think it would do him good to hang out with somebody, even if only for a short time. God I am going soft. If this situation came up 3 years ago I would laugh and say "No fucking way." I wouldn't have even thought about it. And I'm bored and this could be interesting.
"Yeah whatever," I say, looking over at Kenny before seeing him smile slightly and stand up. I stood up also, and we began walking towards Butters.
Butters
All right, almost finished with the essay I have to do for English. That woman is evil. She makes our class do a 2000 word essay every two weeks. It's not that bad at first, but sometimes when you have 10 pages of math homework, a huge test in science to study for, and a few sheets for history class to do for the next day, a 2000 word essay is the last thing you need. I'm sure it's a lot worse for someone who values social life as well though. I was typing my conclusion sentence when I saw a hand rest on one of my sheets, it was a rather large hand at that, and I looked up to see who it was. I was expecting an annoyed student who was trying to work as well and was complaining about the volume of my music or something. I definitely wasn't expecting Eric Cartman leaning on my table with Kenny McCormick next to him. Kenny grinned at me, his tan face stretching to expose smile wrinkles that had already formed. Eric shrugged and half-smiled. What are they doing? I took off my headphones and timidly smiled.
"Hey fellas, what's got you guys comin' over to me?" I asked, looking first at Kenny since he looked a lot nicer than Eric and more enthusiastic.
"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with little ole Cartman and I. It's awful boring just the two of us," he said, smiling a big smile that radiated sincerity. I looked over at Eric and he looked pretty bored but not annoyed. I still had the rest of the day and tomorrow to do my homework so I might as well do some socializing.
"W-Well sure, that would be great! What time?" I asked, inwardly cringing at the little stutter at the beginning. Kenny laughed and tilted his head to the side.
"Right now! Put your sheets and laptop up and let's go!" Kenny said, his grin never fading. Wow, right now? Well, okay then.
"Alright, could you two wait for me for a second while I do this?" I asked while closing up my laptop and placing it into the bag I had brought with me as well as my sheets. Kenny said that he would and I picked up my bag and stood up, looking over at the two boys curiously as we stood nearly silently except for the music that was endlessly emanating from the speakers.
"Okay, so what are we goin' to do now?" I asked, hoping that I didn't sound rude. Kenny shrugged his shoulders, looking over at Eric as if to ask him something. Eric looked up, his eyes meeting Kenny's for a second as he let out a little sigh and started walking away.
"Let's just go to my place and we can play video games or something," he said when he was about two feet away from Kenny and I.
"Is that cool with you?" Kenny asked me, and I nodded my head a bit too fast.
"Of course, I don't really mind doing anythin'," I said, smiling back as Kenny grinned at me.
"Awesome," he said and started walking towards the door where Eric had just left from. Kenny started aimlessly chatting to me, first saying how him and Eric usually just played video games every weekend. I asked him if I was intruding on them and he responded that it wasn't really that special or anything and that they only played video games because they didn't have anything better to do. He also told me not to take anything that Eric said personally and that if he insulted me than he probably didn't mean it. I nodded even though I already knew this information. I'm pretty sure Kenny was aware that I knew this about Eric when he told me too. He had this look on his face that was bored and knowing, a look that expressed that it was old news and I probably had already known. Kenny is a very interesting person indeed.
Kenny led us to a silver mini-van with tinted windows. He got into the back seat and scooted down to the seat furthest away and I got into the one nearest me and closed the door. I wonder why Kenny sat in the back, was it so I wouldn't be by myself back here? If that's the case, than he's a really kind person. Eric started up the car, the heat slowly crawling into the back seat and warming Kenny and I up. The radio started playing a rap song that was mainly consumed by the steady bass and less by the deep-voiced singer. Eric made no move to change the station and Kenny was singing along with the rapper. I don't really mind rap that much, I used to hate it because a lot of the lyrics were mainly swear words and sexual references but now I'm used to it and kinda like it. Eric drove for a few minutes until he pulled up to his house and turned the car off. Kenny and Eric got out of the car so I followed along, stepping out of the car with my bag onto the cold, paved driveway and started following after Kenny and Eric as they walked towards the front door.
"I think Mom's still home," Eric said, pulling out a key from his back pocket and unlocking the front door.
"Awesome, I love your mom," Kenny said, smiling. "She always makes me cookies," he added, gazing off into the distance and most likely fantasizing about the alleged cookies. Eric snorted and opened up the door and walked inside. He stood next to the door, holding it open for Kenny and I.
"Ladies first," he said, and Kenny curtsied before strutting through the doorway.
"Thank you, fine gentleman," he said before walking towards an unknown area inside Eric's house. I walked inside after him, quietly thanking Eric as he shut the door behind me and locked it up again. I walked in the direction that I saw Kenny go and found him raiding the refrigerator in Eric's kitchen. He pulled out a container of luncheon meat and began eating it by itself. He then swallowed his bite.
"Hey do you want something to eat?" he asked me and I shook my head 'no.' I had already eaten lunch at an earlier hour. He then asked me if I wanted a drink and I told him that water was okay. He then tossed me a water bottle and luckily I caught it. Eric was standing in the doorway as he watched our brief interaction and afterwards he started walking towards the cabinets and pulled out a bag of chips. He then looked over at Kenny and walked out the door. I guess I really did invade on their time together. Gosh, now I feel kind of guilty.
"I'm sorry, I really am a nuisance aren't I? I can go home now, my house isn't far from here," I said, rubbing my right arm with my left hand nervously. Kenny smiled softly, his eyes full of warmth as he told me that I had no reason to worry about it and that I should just have a good time. I nodded and followed him as he left the room. We walked up a flight of stairs into a small bedroom that had Eric inside, messing with a flat screen television and a Play Station 3. I stepped inside the room after Kenny and sat down on the floor next to him. He began talking to me about the game that they had set up, some two-player war/fighting game of some sort that I knew I would be horrible at. Kenny passed the controller to me and I looked at him horrified. I don't want to mess up something or be really bad and make them redo the level! I think Kenny got the message and he laughed before telling me that it's no big deal if I'm not very good at first since they're doing some of the earlier levels. Okay, I feel a bit better now. Kenny stood up and walked to the other side of me, sitting down and telling me to scoot over so the controller would work right. I did so and found myself about four inches from Eric. He got the game started and I started aimlessly pressing buttons until Eric got the picture and told me what all the controls did without pausing or moving his eyes away from the game.
"Could you repeat that?" I asked him, nervously looking over at him as he paused the game and reached his hand over, pressing his fingers over some of the keys on my controller and repeating what they did, slower this time. I was only slightly distracted by his big hands and when his thumb pressed against mine as he explained what the arrow keys did. His hands are so warm. He paused in the middle of his explanation and continued looking down at our hands. He then picked right back up and finished with a fast tone before taking his hands off mine and taking the game off pause.
I then had a better idea of how the game worked and played around until Kenny complained that he wanted to play a new level. I gladly allowed him to take over and sat next to him for another hour or so, content on just watching their great dynamic and strategy as they played the game with vigor. I think they may've even forgotten I was there, since when they finished the level, Kenny looked a little bit surprised when he looked to his right and saw me sitting there.
"Hey do you want me to drive you home?" Eric asked, looking over at me from next to Kenny. I shrugged my shoulders in a way that I hoped looked neither that I wanted to stay nor that I wanted to leave desperately. Kenny leaned back onto the foot of Eric's bed and smiled contentedly.
"I'm just gonna stay here while you drive him home. Your house is really nice so I'll just stay the night as well," Kenny said. Eric laughed slightly and looked over at me.
"Alright let's go then," he said and I stood up, straightening my jacket that I had unzipped sometime when they were playing video games and grabbed my bag from Starbucks. I then started walking towards the door behind Eric. When we got to the hallway, we walked side by side.
We got into his car and he started driving, his radio still tuned into the station that it was on earlier. We drove in silence until we got to my house and he turned of the car, turning in his seat to look at me.
"Thanks for letting me come to your house today, I had a lot of fun," I said truthfully, smiling up at Eric in a way that I hoped portrayed my sincerity. He didn't smile with his mouth, but his eyes showed a kindness that I hadn't seen there before.
"It wasn't my idea, thank Kenny instead. I'll see you in school alright?" he said, his eyes locking with mine for a small moment as I nodded my head and opened up the door, grabbing my bag and walking outside towards my front door. As I got to the door, I waved at Eric who was driving out of my driveway with a big grin on my face and watched as he smiled slightly himself before driving away.