Chapter 2: Wicked is Hard Work
Tamsin stood frozen by the clinic door, paused not by panic or surprise, but to ready herself for battle. Death was here. She could sense it as clearly as she felt the last vestiges of sweat running down her face. This was not the feeling from the bodies in the morgue, nor people succumbing to the injuries that sent them to the clinic, but unexpected sudden death – swift and silent. The clinic's emergency lights were on, but there were no outward signs of life, none of the frantic activity she witnessed earlier in the evening. Where were the patients, the loved ones waiting anxiously for word on the injured, the doctors, interns, receptionists or even late night janitors? I knew something was wrong! she thought, oddly relieved while still terribly worried. She took a deep breath, calming herself and tapping into her tactical instincts as she reached for the handle of the clinic door. It swung open easily and she stepped inside. Lauren should really start locking her doors.
The valkyrie crept silently through the reception area of the clinic, all senses alert for any sign of danger. It was as empty as it seemed from the outside; the battery powered emergency lighting casting eerie shadows with its dim blue glow. There were no bodies, to Tamsin's relief, but the scattered papers, equipment, and wheel chairs left unfolded and blocking the walkways bore witness to an expeditious and panicked mass exodus. As she moved slowly into the hallway leading to the examination rooms, the faint sound of music reached her ears. It was coming from the very back of the clinic, from the area that housed the human doctor's private lab and offices. The warrior in her was in control now and she resisted the urge to run towards the source of the music and methodically cleared the series of small examination rooms along the way to the door at the end of the hall.
As she reached for the doorknob, Tamsin's resolve faltered and she hesitated. The doubt she used so effortlessly on others flared up within her with a vengeance. Letting out a deep breath she began her own internal self-talk litany she once suggested to Bo: They all left in a hurry – Evony is too damn cheap to invest in an effective backup generator. They must have evacuated to a hospital and left the radio on, no big deal. Bo always helps people in need, she and Lauren are probably being Debbie-do-gooders across town in an ER somewhere. I need to make sure it is safe for them to return. She nodded her head as if to prove to herself the validity of her own suppositions and twisted the knob, quietly opening the door and stepping inside. Again with the lack of security awareness! How has that woman managed to stay alive this long?
A quick visual sweep of the lab proved it to be empty and a small portable radio the source of the soulful, romantic tune. Death was here; this was the place. The Valkrie in her could feel the soul somewhere beyond the first office. As Tamsin cautiously stepped inside she called out softly, "Bo?" So far so good, she thought. As she took another step, she spoke another name "Lauren?" "I wanted to runway with you..." the singer mournfully crooned from the radio speakers. Looking around she jokingly called out to the only other voice she could hear, "Soul singer?" It was then she noticed a soft, white light coming through the half-opened and cheap metal blinds of the window to Lauren's small office. Not only light was seeping out of the office, but sounds, sounds she was all too familiar with. It was unmistakably the sounds of sex. Lauren and Bo were on a examination bed in the back of the room fucking.
She stood stock still staring, save for her eyebrows slowly scrunching together as her face became a mask of sorrow. After a moment the blonde's eyes moved away from the scene in front of her to stare straight ahead. Her vision faded into nothing but white light and the only sounds she heard was the blood pounding in her head. No, she realized, they are not fucking. They are not having sex. That is making love. Mercifully, a loud ringing in her ears began drowning out all conscious thought and all her remaining senses. Tamsin had no idea how long she stood like that until or what broke her out of her trance, but when she did regain control of herself she found she was staring once again in the direction of the two lovers. It was over, thank the gods. However, witnessing the afterglow antics of the two was much more painful than catching them in the act itself.
Bo was cradling Lauren, gently caressing her face as the doctor gazed lovingly into her eyes. They were softly murmuring to each other. Both women seemed ignorant of the fact that their activities were being watched. Remembering how the succubus had always scooted to the far side of the bed after their own 'sessions' between the sheets, Tamsin now saw the extent of her self-delusion. She didn't even want to touch me afterwards. Like she felt ashamed; dirty. Not ashamed of what she did, but of whom she did it with. Not like how she felt after fucking Lauren, Dyson, Rainer or some random stranger from a bar. For fuck's sake, she wasn't even fazed when she fucked Mark, her client; until she found out he was Dyson's son. No, post fucking shame is reserved for me.
The epiphany was visceral and painful, shattering her very soul. She shouldn't be here, witness this. The guilt of all the horrible things she ever did in her many lives washed over her like a tsunami. It was a sacrilege for a thoroughly wicked creature as herself to intrude on this obviously spiritual act. The Valkyrie slowly backed up, retracing her steps as if she suddenly realized she had been walking in a mine field. Reaching out blindly behind her, Tamsin's hand sought for, and found the door knob.
The presence of death and feelings of imminent danger forgotten in her state of shock, her only priority now was to leave. She made her way quickly and quietly out of the clinic and to the corner at the end of the block where she leaned against the non-functioning streetlight pole and absent mindedly chewed her lower lip. I don't know what to do! The words she told Bo during their fight as Taft's came back to haunt her yet again. Bo had told her to fight for what she herself believed worthwhile and righteous. The conviction in those eyes both brown and blue made her believe she could be whoever she wanted to be instead of a tool of Freya, the Morrigan, or anyone to use as they saw fit and then discard on a whim. She convinced the Valkyrie she could break the cycle of live, serve, and expire over and over again. It was all a cruel joke. I didn't free myself, I merely changed masters. I wanted her to kill me so that I wouldn't have to betray her or my employer. She made me choose a side, betray everyone else in my life and now I'm stuck. I can't fight this, and I have nowhere to run to.
Tears began to well up in her green eyes, and she watched her feet as they broke free of her eye lashes falling silently on the wet pavement. Someone was approaching slowly in a vehicle, engine revving and music blaring; she didn't care enough to even look up. The Valkyrie was contemplating the simple truth of the chorus. Aint't no rest for the wicked-until I close my eyes for good. Death would have been a sweet out, after all.