I DARE YOU
CHAPTER 2
scuby, as usual...you rock. thank you so much for your help.
thank you for all the reviews...soooo much appreciated...!
...and i miss my busy bee.
I took the long route home. Let's just say I missed my turn because I was preoccupied by the thought of kissing Catherine. She may not have responded but still... I. Kissed. Catherine. Willows. Now that's making me grin!
I never noticed my boots making such much noise as I walk up the steel steps going to the third floor of my apartment building. Does it really make that heavy 'clank, clank, clank' sound? And why the hell am I thinking of this?
After fishing out my key I open my apartment door. Closing it, I lean back against the cold metal door frame and exhale. I check my watch. I kissed Catherine Willows thirty three minutes ago. My fingers go up to my lips remembering the moment. It may not have been much because she didn't respond, but to me it was a lot. Her daring me and me taking the dare. The look in her eyes, the feel of her breath against my skin, the softness of her lips. I smile again.
I open the curtains to the living room and I move the only plant that decorates it to the center of the room. My plant, whom I named Dee, is the other only living thing that exists aside from me inside these four corners. Only Dee knows the real me, she has been my confidant for the past seven years. She knows all of my secrets, my dreams for the future, my triumphs and my failures. She's also very patient and listens to my frustrations with a very lovely co-worker.
Very soon the sun will be hitting that spot and for a few minutes Dee will enjoy the warmth of it.
I toss my back pack to the side of my room and head off for a much needed shower. I look into the bathroom mirror and I catch myself smiling again. I find myself chuckling because I kissed Catherine.
When the hot water is just right, I step into the shower. I stand there feeling the warm water course my body. It feels so good. I wonder how it feels to get wet with Catherine? Does she prefer a shower or bubble bath when she gets home? I'm hoping a bubble bath. Hell, maybe she even has a rubber duckie at the side. Now I'm laughing my head off!
I kissed Catherine Willows. I can still feel the softness and the taste of her lips. Wow, I'll be seeing her later tonight.
Geez, I can't believe that I did that. Never in my right mind would I have done that if she just didn't dare me.
Wait a minute.
Was she daring me to kiss her? What if she meant something else like me backing out again of our argument? I've done that on occasion, it was either thoughts of reaching out for her neck and choking her right then and there or walking away. I always took the latter. What if she was just daring me to back out of our argument again? What if it was that?! And out of the blue I just suddenly locked lips with her. No wonder she didn't respond to the kiss.
Holy crap! Even with the warm water I can feel a cold prickly sensation running up my spine!
I towel off quickly and slip into my boxers and tank top and bury myself under the covers. Geez! What a dumb ass I am!
And I'll be seeing her again tonight...crappers!
Please let me die in my sleep. Maybe I've shocked her so much that she'll suddenly have selective amnesia tonight. Maybe she will totally ignore me, damn, I could live with that! At least I was able to kiss her. Shit! I kissed Catherine Willows in her office! I argued and kissed my superior. What the hell was I thinking?
Maybe my bed will turn into a huge angry mouth and swallow me up. That is such a lovely thought. Maybe I might sleep walk and suddenly find myself with my head in the oven. Geez! That oven must be so rusty, I can't even remember the last time I used it. It's terrible when you know all the restaurant's take out phone numbers by heart and have begun a chummy relationship with the delivery people. Getting three fortune cookies per order seems pathetic now!
I can't remember when the last time I've had a restless sleep. Tossing and turning is an understatement. I think I didn't sleep more than four hours. Staring at the ceiling fan trying to count how many spins it goes around in a minute is not the same as counting sheep.
Listening to the monotonous tick-tock of the clock is not even close to being therapeutic. It's pathetic!
And now I have to get ready for work. My shoulders feel like I'm carrying Atlas himself.
Catherine. Catherine. Catherine. I kissed Catherine right in the middle of an argument, in her office, in the early morning before shift change.
Stress! I could blame it on stress. Everyone knows I'm loaded with stress. It shows in my dry humor.
But...she dared me. And I hate backing down from a dare. With that cocky smile and that twinkle of triumph in her eyes? I couldn't let her get the satisfaction of winning again. So who won again? Me because I finally kissed her or she because I walked away again? What we're we arguing about anyway? I can't remember! Now, that's stressful.
Yes, I'll apologize to her and blame it all on stress. The lack of sleep, overtime and pulling double shifts just to work with her. Uh, I don't think she'd want to hear that one.
Oh, lord. I'll be seeing Catherine in a little while and all I can think of right now are those extremely soft lips of her. How my heart stopped beating and the feeling of time standing still. Invading her space was the best thing that happened to me in months! Damn it! What kind of sicko am I?
If she was seething earlier, she must be boiling right now! I bet she looks so cute right now pacing back and forth with her face all red and burning with thoughts of how to eliminate me. I wonder what she'll be wearing tonight?
I. Am. A. Sicko.