A/N: Huge thanks to: GuardianGirl24, Moon-Shining-Wolf, anufpiusj, flying-vip, dancingfingers, LiAnna Kari, nebaer06, shadow zombie, vamp-crazeed-girl, stiches17, angelic94, Xx-LoveNeverMore143-xX, Naomipy, StoryAddict21, relicchi, Fujiwara no Sai this one is for you guys/gals!

Chapter 1: At The Beginning

You never truly know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have left.

Travelling alone with nothing spells trouble. A female travelling alone spells more trouble. That female would most likely become a prostitute. A peasant or something much worse. However; she was the previous Lady of the Western Lands so she continued on her journey.

Flying through the skies, she travelled to a new land on the continent. She wanted to be renewed. She wanted a new life. She would no longer be the same masked person she was before because now there would be no one that knows her. None knew she was a lady before, none knew she had everything. As she walked towards the path where she felt that there were beings like her, she encountered a small animal. It's an animal that's shaped like a lion and has a horn on its forehead. It has a bell in its neck, and the body is covered with scales. The creature stared at her and she stared down at it. After a while, the creature flopped down and showed her its belly.

'A pup,' she thought. She removed her zori sandals and with her toes tickled the poor animal. It was only after she got bored did she put back her shoe however, she noticed someone looking at her. It is a fox youkai, a female one at that. She had a silver hair, as pale as hers and nine tails. The other youkai is beautiful. Though she can't say she's more beautiful than the other one.

They stared at each other. Not saying anything though she could feel that the fox youkai is getting too curious for her own good. Well, too curious. That's until she let out that power she's hiding. And, well as fast as the fox could go, the low life attacked her. She dodged and stared at her enemy. Not an enemy but a weak thrash at that. Looking for strategies and any weakness, she found it was quite a lot as if the fox youkai had not known how to fight. And because of that, the fight was over as soon as it started. However, as much as she was strong, she did notice that somehow she tires quickly. And she remembered that it must have had been because-

Trying her best not to scowl at the wounded fox youkai at her feet, she only turned and walked away from that place. Far away. Maybe to the next continent? No. She should go farther. She could not stay anywhere near her country. Oh she would go back if and only if her son and his family had any need of her but aside from that no. There was nothing more that could make her return to that place.

They said that it is in the home where you would suffer the worst betrayal and maybe it held some truth. For wasn't she at home where he told her time and time again that he would chose someone else, a human, other than her. And maybe she really need to be away, maybe a hundred year would suffice. No, maybe about fifty? She does want to hold her grandchild if there would be one soon.

And she walked away from her enemy. Which might had been a bad thing. Because a few steps after that, she was repeatedly stabbed. Stabbed by something which would most likely be the tails of that youkai. How could that be possible? Frowning at her blunder, she grabbed the tail that is still stuck on her chest. And with as much force as she could she took it off from the body.

Bloodied and slightly battered, she turned back to the cowering fox youkai who is one tail short. There is a law in the wilderness, that no matter what they do, a fox should always run away whenever they saw a dog. And since she is not some ordinary docile dog, she was able to hunt down the fox like a prey it was. Though she never eats the flesh of the freshly killed fox, she did offer it to the pup she saw earlier.

She watched as the pup ate her catch and she noted how her wounds are taking longer to heal than normal. Maybe it is one of her punishments, a reminder of what she has done and so she straightened and glared at her wounds. Even before she's hurt, wounded and left to die. Yet she survived because her regeneration is as fast as that blasted hanyou. The one who once panted after the Shikon no Tama. And yet-. She willed it to heal faster. Because no matter where or when, one of the rules in the wilderness is to cover one's blood else be a victim or prey. She was prepared to move and leave when the pup whined at her feet asking her to bring it along.

It tugged at her heart and no matter how much she tried to stop the feeling of slight happiness, she could not. "Do not come with me." She barked, trying to bring out false anger because here in the wild, in another place, someone wants her. Somebody else needed her. And yet the pup whined and bared its neck, its tail between its legs. The pup then stared at her pleadingly saying that it is alone and lonely. And perhaps she needed this, the pup. She bent down and barked at it, telling it to transform and yet it told her that it could not.

"I can't." It said piteously and her heart went out to the pup. If she's still in her country, in her palace, then the only merciful thing she could do is to kill it. For there could be no weak in that place and yet now that she is no longer there, then she could do as she want.

"What is your name?"

The pup wagged its tail and stared at her, grinning yet she wasn't certain. "Haechi."

The two of them were about to leave when all of the sudden she saw an elderly man. One who's surrounded by huge cats with dark vertical stripes and red-orange fur. She noted then and there that the human wasn't human at all. The aura around him was like those of the gods and yet she refuses to bow down. Though not as strong as him, she was and still is a creature from the moon. So with as much dignity as a wounded being could have, she remained standing. Facing him and daring him to hurt her or the pup.

"You are one of the moon." The stranger asked with so much curiosity she wondered if he would also attack her. "Do not fret, traveler. I have seen what occurred and would offer you a place to stay in my shrine as you heal. Though this one knows not about why you are having trouble healing, this one would not ask. I vow with all of my power that no one would bother you or the haechi as you gather again your strength. Is it not better to help one another than fight against each other?"

And since even before she does not know anything about being polite. She raised one eyebrow and sneered. "You talk too much."

Yet the stranger did not take the bait. It was as if he knew what she is doing and ignored it. "I am one of the Sanshin and though you have come at a troubling period, do not worry about anything. It is still a good thing that people respects and fears us."

She would have rejected the offer. That's if only she does feel that she could move somewhere far along with the pup. Yet she also knew of her own strengths and weaknesses so she agreed. The three of them, along with the tigers went up the stairs. Up and up, towards the highest peak in the mountain where the shrine's located. He showed her a vacant room where she could stay. He then provided her with a cloth for bandage, a clean basin of water and a few salves. He even went and got her some fruits and a bloodied meat that smelled strongly of freshly killed panther.

"This is my home. Should you need anything then feel free to ask me or these ones." He said as he stared lovingly at the tigers and walked away from her and her newly adopted pup.

She stared blankly at the salves wondering what does which and what goes first. Removing her clothes slowly, she felt her muscles pull and she stifled a hiss of pain. Haechi stared at her worriedly yet he helped her and brought the basin near her. She dipped the sleeve of her clothe at the water and carefully washed away the blood from her skin. Others might find it odd since inu youkai bathe in the blood of their enemies and she could do that. But she would want it to removed as soon as possible. Not only would it soil her clothes but she could feel the blood stick to her skin and removing them as too taxing.

After a while, she was able to remove the blood, apply the salves and put in the bandage around her wounds. It was after three days that her wounds're healed and yet oddly her strength wasn't coming back. Walking greatly exhausts her yet she refuse to stay inside the four corners of her room. She walked and walked until she's shaking so badly Haechi has to support her back to her quarters.

"Is it so wrong to be weak?" The Sanshin asked her one night when they are peacefully staring at the moon. It has already been two moon cycles and yet she still wasn't able to get her full strength. She could run. Yes, and yet with just circling the mountain range where the shrine's located is enough to make her faint. "While you are here, why don't I teach you the art of making tea? Or I could show you how to plant herbs and flowers. This one finds so much peace with doing it sometimes I no longer notice it is already night."

At first she declined. What use would planting and making tea be to her? Yet after a few nudges here and there, she finally agreed.

She found it satisfying whenever she could make the perfect blend. Or when her plants would bloom and flourish after a few moons. It was peaceful and she was content however she knew she could not stay. And so she bid goodbye to the Sanshin. Carrying with her a few tea leaves and some seeds. She also packed some clothes made from the fox youkai's fur that she had killed. There's also some dried fruits and meat for Haechi. And a wrist band made of gold created from nothing but the aura of her host.

So with a heart full of hope that one day thinking about him and her would no longer make her heart ache, she sent out to the north. To another country. And her adventure continued on. Her adventure of finding herself and her inner strength. One that no amount of youki or betrayal could dim. And maybe she could meet new people, youkai or god it matters not. She could brew the best tea around the country and she could also put up a tea house or a garden. After all her talent in making tea and beautiful plants were known far and wide.

Not so bad if she says so herself.

-0-0-0-

Choosing to stay in her 'human' form rather than her natural form, she took her time to get to north. It is not that she do not have the time rather, she chose to do so. It's because Haechi could still not change forms and she would not carry him while in beast state. She might accidentally kill him, if not from the toxic fumes then from other things. She could not risk the life of the only being that looks up at her with so much love and adoration.

"Can I go fishing?" He barked at her. And she stared at him for a few minutes, acknowledging the way that he never shook from fear of her, and nodded. Pups needed nutrition and though he is young, he should know how to hunt on his own. Why when she is at his age, she could already hunt with such a precision her sire would always smile at her with pride. And so she allowed him. Yet she stayed at the far end, under the shadow of the tree and watched him while he hunts for fish at the stream they found.

Six moons have already passed since she walked away from the palace and him. And yet most of the nights, she could still see them together in her dreams she often wondered if she is still sane or not. Her son had even sent a few demons to search for her and yet she remained hidden. Learning from a god has its benefits; she could mask her sent without using her youki. And though she got famous for her skills, she was still able to remain unknown.

What was he doing? Is he with her? Are they having fun without her there to threaten their happiness? Did he mate with her?

A lot of questions filled her mind and yet she knew not an answer. She refused to know the answer. Maybe one day she would have the strength to face them. But for now she needed to heal. She's too hurt to think or show anything else except her mask and she tried every single day to convey her emotions. Oh how much she tried yet maybe the only one who could fully understand her is Haechi and the pup is too dear to her. Weakness it may seem to others but she would not let go of the pup. He is hers as much she is his. Another son that the gods whoever and wherever they are gave to her and she would not give him up. She would raise him to be the best because that is what she is.

And yet why did he choose another?

Slashing the trunk of the tree nearest her, she called the pup back to her. Seeing that he has already eaten and ready to continue on their journey, they began their trek.

"Where are we going?" He asked while walking beside her. He never questioned her and he reminded her of the child that used to follow her son. They are really alike, she and him. She thought of her son, Sesshoumaru, and his mate. Were they able to have a pup of their own or are they waiting for the right time until Rin and the kit Shippou is old enough? Not that she cared as of the moment since taking care of pups were harder than warring. Besides, she did promise herself that she would return after fifty years and it hasn't been a year yet.

"To the north. You should learn how to adapt to the cold." She replied after a while, remembering that the pup has asked her a question. She wasn't able to teach Sesshoumaru before. But now that she has Haechi, she would teach him that there are other youkai and gods out there on other lands. There might be some enemy. But when she returned to the Western Lands she could tell all her grandpups about the beings that she saw. Surely, a tale like that would endear her to them than any tales that human of his previous mate could weave.

Haechi nudged her feet and when she looked down at him, she saw that maybe he is not yet prepared to face the cold. When they were back at the shrine and it is a cold night, he would shiver and hide under her covers. He'd also set on sleeping with her and staying there until the sun is high up in the sky.

He did tell her one day that he is the runt of their pack. That his pack hunted him down because he is different. He got a golden hair instead of the bright orange that they have. A pathetic excuse that she would have hunted them down except he told her that they were all dead. Sanshin told her that he is physically weak and that he might not live long compared to the others, compared to her. And so she plotted on ways to remedy that. She gave him herbs, teas; anything that she thought could help him. Learning a few things when she tried healing her previous mate was a good thing. And she applied it in helping him recover from the sickness that he is in. If she could bring back that blasted Inutaisho from being nothing to what he is in now, then he could do it for the pup. She could not fail. She would not fail.

"I- I might hinder you from your journey." He whispered to her worriedly as they walk down the messy trail. "Maybe I should stay here? But- I don't want to be away from you. C-can we go to north slowly?"

Such a sweet pup. He never knew but when he is asleep, she would run her hands down his fur and sing softly to him as she could not do to her son. That Inutaisho would always take him, Sesshoumaru, even when he is only a few weeks old. She never got to touch her son except when she would feed him.

They were near the border of the country when they saw it. A beautiful golden dog with wings gliding in the air as free as the wind.

"Do you think I could have wings when I grow up?"

"It shouldn't matter if you would get wings or not." She replied and the pup beamed at her. Such joy and innocence that only the young have. And she would protect it with her life.

It might take long but she could feel it, the mask is slowly cracking.

-tbc-

A/N: Whether or not I might get the crazy idea that she would return back to Inutaisho would be a long way to go. So until then, this story would revolve around her or Inutaisho. I don't like Izayoi though I do not want to bash her.

Can you guess where they are?