Chapter 2:

Both Feet First

The air inside of the entry plug tasted like iron and machine oil, at least until the hatch closed. I looked up when I heard the creek of the hatch sliding into place and felt the skin on my back stick as it shifted against the padded vinyl seat. Then, the air flushed out and was replaced with cold, clean, dry air.

It actually was comfortable, and probably would have been a lot more so if it wasn't rubbing up against bare skin. Bare skin, Misato had warned me when they were getting the plug ready, that I probably didn't want to ruin my clothes.

"LCL doesn't wash out easily" she'd said. At least she was giving me a head's up about it, until she mentioned it I had forgotten about it completely. The corner of my lip curled up as I thought about the panic I'd probably have felt when they started pumping the stuff into the plug.

That's not to say I was naked, undergarments were a necessary sacrifice to the LCL in the name of modesty. I just told myself it was no different than wearing a bathing suit. Besides, I was pretty sure that the video communication thing was just from the neck up anyway.

Probably.

The control sticks were slick in my hands, I was sweating, nervous. Who wouldn't have a little anxiety at a time like this though? Nobody, that's who.

The controls were, well, not what I had expected. Two control handles set into the control seat, each with a trigger and a series of buttons on the top of them, and a foot pedal at the end of each leg slot. The entire setup felt a lot like riding a motorcycle or a horse. The more I thought about it, the more it actually felt a lot like riding a horse, even if the angles were off.

If I was going to think of the setup like a saddle, then where the saddle horn would have been, was a full keyboard set into it. I wasn't sure if that was something omitted from the TV show, or if it had just been that long, and that my memory was failing me.

The clips in my hair shifted when the plug lurched forward and down. It was happening, they were getting ready to start this thing up. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose, just keep calm.

There was an electronic chirp and I turned my head to look, a video window had popped up to my left, I could see Misato's face projected in front of me. "Rei, we're going to start filling the plug now, please just try to breath normally."

My hands clenched against the controls and I nodded. It was one thing to understand the concept and be prepare for it, it was entirely another thing to fight back the instinct not to inhale liquids. Maybe she didn't do me any favors by preparing me for it.

"Yes, ma'am."

Then my ears popped as the air pressure changed, I heard pumps kick in and the taste of iron flooded back into the plug. I looked down past the control saddle and watched the amber liquid rushing up to meet me. It took maybe three seconds for the level to reach my feet, and another half a second for it to go over my head from there.

I tensed, clenched down hard on those control sticks and shut my eyes. Panic, don't panic. You're panicking and you need to stop. Breathe, this isn't the worst thing you've ever done. You did it for nine months when your mother was pregnant with you. You can do this.

My mother, not the best thing to think about, she was...

The burning in my lungs finally over-rode my self preservation instinct and I took a greedy lung-full of the liquid and... it actually wasn't that bad. The taste washed over my tongue, iron, coppery, a tinge of salinity... I knew, after a fashion and some purification, what the source of the liquid was but...

Well, I eat my steaks rare, who was I to really complain?

The video link was still open, I glanced over at it, though I couldn't make out much, my eyes were totally out of focus, like when you're swimming under water without goggles. Sounds were a little strange too, I could hear people talking in the background but they sounded tinny, far away.

"Charging the LCL"

The taste of ozone filled my mouth and I felt the hairs on my head stand up and then, it was gone. All of it, the feeling, the taste of ozone, the taste of iron, the thickness of the fluid, the fuzzy out of focus-ness of my eyes.

I took a breath and it was, different than air, but not a lot. It felt like, for lack of a better word, thick air. And I could see, and the sounds had returned to normal. Normal, right. As if anything about this was normal.

The background noise in the plug itself suddenly changed pitch and I felt a prickling on my skin, an... itch in my mind. I licked my lip unconsciously, there was a taste of nostalgia. The soft copper-gold color of the plug walls disappeared in a flash of color and was replaced with the outside of the unit, I could see the catwalk in front of me, the one I'd been standing on fifteen minutes prior.

Synchronization can cause synesthesia, I filed that one away in my mental filing cabinet.

Weight. My head, shoulders, back, arms, legs. I was heavy. Heavy, stiff, restrained? Was I actually syncing with the unit? Could I do this?

"Synchronization is stable at 35%"

That would have to be good enough, I could do this. If I didn't do this, who could? The other Rei? Was there another Rei?

The catwalk in front of me retracted and I felt the saddle shift as the locks released the unit. I shook my head, get your head in the game, girl. It's showtime, too late to back out now. I closed my eyes and leaned back in the saddle.

I concentrated on the feelings I was getting through the link as the unit was carried backwards on the track, towards the launch catapult, I assumed. I let go of the control stick in my right hand and flexed my fist a few times, getting a feel for what was coming from my own body and what was coming from the unit.

Make a fist. I thought at the unit, and tried guiding it with my own hand. I could feel the fingers twitching, sluggish, the feedback was dull, but it was there. Come on, make a fist... I slowed my own movements, making a fist along with the commands I was trying to send, but only moving as fast as the unit was responding. Would that help?

I could feel the fingers curling up in the right hand. It was... a novel sensation. It was less that the unit was mirroring what my physical body was doing, and more like I had grown... well, another body. There was my arm, and there was Evangelion's arm, and they were mapped differently in my mind. There was overlap, a lot of overlap, but the two sensations were still distinct.

Okay, release the fist. Slowly, deliberately I uncoiled my hand, thinking and feeling the same message to the unit. The dull, almost springy feeling feedback reached me as the hand steadily unclenched and returned to the rest position.

Okay, both hands, clench up into a fist, good. Now rela-

"Eva launch!" Misato yelled, my eyes snapped open.

I put my hand back on the control stick and grit my teeth as the catapult fired. I felt the skin on my face sag a little as the g-forces slammed me down into the saddle. I felt the pressure through the unit's boots, pressing down into the platform as the acceleration curve flattened out... and then the platform started decelerating.

That part was actually fun, like being in the back of one of those padded airplanes they used for zero G simulation. Of course, I was still traveling upwards at a pretty substantial rate, I was just coasting instead of being under powered ascent.

I felt the brakes start to grab, I was pulled upwards in the saddle, it was almost time. I looked down at the unit's right hand and flexed it again, it was much smoother this time, I was getting the hang of it... or the unit was just learning to accept me.

It would be enough, because it had to be enough.

My head snapped back against the vinyl headrest and I jerked upwards in the saddle, stopped only when my thighs pressed against the restraints. I'd hit the end of the launch track. Right in front of me, maybe a few hundred yards distant, the monster. The angel.

Equally as tall as the evangelion, with broad shoulders and spindly arms, it was a creature from the darkest depths of nightmare, with a bone mask that looked almost avian, with those two empty eye sockets.

"Final safety locks disengaged, Unit One is free."

Alright Rei, let's do this thing. I looked down at the unit's hand and flexed it into a fist and raised it experimentally. There was a slight lag but it worked.

"Rei, just concentrate on walking for now." That was Misato again.

Walking? Alright, walking. I reached out and felt for the legs, for the knees, the feet. I took that first step and planted it. Good. I could feel the pavement under the boot, could feel the leg muscles coiled up.

The sensation was almost like walking while your leg was still half asleep. Second step, push off, left leg forward. The left toe caught the ground and I started to fall forward. No! I grit my teeth and pulled the left leg forward to catch myself. Purchase, I managed to get the foot down onto the concrete but my center of gravity was already too far forward, I was still falling.

"No!" I yelled as my feet worked the pedals in the stirrups of the control saddle. I pulled up eva's right leg and drew it forward. If my center of gravity was already forward, I would just have to use it.

Sometimes you've got to run before you can walk.

I shifted forward in the saddle and shoved the control sticks forward, kicked off hard with the right leg. Left, right, left, right. Kept pushing forward, kicking off the ground harder with each step, turning my drunken stumble into a sprint.

The distance was closing fast, what was a few hundred yards to a two hundred foot war machine? I clenched a fist with the right hand. I'd been stumbling like a drunk, now I was going to fight like one. I screamed like a feral beast and I swung my right arm like a hammer, right into...

An AT field. That's what that was, orange hexagonal force field. Not good.

The unit's hand stopped against the surface of the AT field, I pulled back and punched again, and again I was denied. No! Was it really going to end like this?

I caught a flash of movement, the left arm was far too slow and I took the angel's counter attack to the face. I felt the hit on my own face, felt my own neck straining against the force of the blow. No!

I stumbled backwards and looked at the angel, still hiding behind his shield. No!

"If you can touch me... I can touch you!" I yelled as I took another swing. I could feel my heart beat quickening, could feel the adrenaline pumping. Fight or flight, live or die. I could feel the anxiety in the pit of my stomach, like a clock wound too tight. My fist bounced off again.

The counter attack came faster than before, and the eva took the hit on the chin, I stumbled backwards and fell into a building, my head was spinning.

No!

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath of the LCL, and held it. One. Two. Three.

Three.

Two.

One.

I let the breath out and opened my eyes. The person who wins the fight isn't the one who throws the strongest punches. The person who wins the fight is the one who refuses to stay down. I looked over to the video link window. Misato was yelling, I could hear the panic in the control room.

So this angel had his reasons for coming here, well, I had reasons too. I'd only just met her, but that didn't matter. There were people counting on me, who they were, how long I'd known them, it didn't matter. I had to win because failure was not an option, because tomorrow counted on it.

Short-term goal, survive the next ten minutes, and then the ten minutes after that. Keep doing that for as long as you can.

New long-term goal: nobody dies if I can help it, no matter what.

I clenched the unit's hand into a fist, the response was faster this time, the sensations through the link more intense. I pulled myself out of the building and brought my fists up. Maybe I wasn't trained in hand to hand combat, and maybe I wasn't stronger than this angel was.

But there was nothing that was going to keep me from fighting till I had nothing left to give, not with this on the line.

Fight or flight, live or die?

Fight. Live. Win. In that order.

I took two steps forward and hit him with a left hook, the AT field flashed into existance and my fist hit it like a truck... and it cracked. I couldn't keep the grin off my face, and I didn't want to. I followed up with a quick jab with my right fist and the cracks spread across the surface of the AT field.

My heart rate quickened, I could feel the impacts of my fists against the AT field, could feel the tension in the unit's muscles. I could smell satisfaction in the LCL.

Left, right. Two steps forward, punch him back. I leaned in and pressed the attack. Fight or flight, live or die? Death or glory.

I threw a haymaker into the cracked AT field and finally punched through, shattering the barrier in a burst of light and sparks. Everything I had into that one punch, and I went through, I felt the armor plating on my knuckles slam into my opponents mask, and was rewarded with the feeling of bone cracking under my strike.

I threw another left hook, and followed up with a kick to the red orb in the middle of the angel's chest. I watched in satisfaction as it fell to the ground. I licked my lip and looked over at the video window, Misato was staring in shock, not at me but probably at the display of the battle.

"Misato, I need a weapon!" I yelled, the rush of the fight still pumping through me. I looked at the angel starting to get up.

That would just not do.

"Rei, left shoulder, grab the knife and use it!"

I looked up and over even as I felt the weight shifting on my left shoulder, the huge vertical pylon had snapped open and the handle of a knife had slid out. I grabbed it with the right hand and turned back to my enemy. Now I had an advantage.

The Angel was back on its feet, but I didn't care. I rushed forward and rammed the left forearm against that birdlike mask and plunged the knife into its torso before dragging it to the side and then pulling it back out.

I shoved the angel backwards into a building and kept stabbing, over and over again, stabbing, twisting, scooping. I was aware of a screaming as the knife kept plunging into the angel, was it the angel feeling pain? Was it somebody on the video call? It didn't matter.

I felt the knife resist, and looked down, it was wedged against the red orb in the center of the angel's chest. That was the part I had to destroy. I rammed the knife repeatedly into the orb, chipping way at the tip of the blade as I forced it into the otherworldly material-

The angel started to melt. No, it started to morph. I lost my grip on the knife and dropped it as the angel started to wrap itself around me, encase me in its own flesh? What the hell was it doing? I Felt a heat on my face, feedback through my link with Eva, then a flash of light, and then darkness.

xxx

Thick, sticky, and dry. The inside of my mouth felt like I was sucking on a lump of glue. Cotton mouth, worse than just a good night's sleep, this felt like the effect I was used to from muscle relaxers and narcotic pain killers.

Water, I needed water. I opened my eyes and stared straight up into rectangular ceiling tiles. My throat was sore. I shifted and tried to sit up, felt the burn of strained muscles trying to work too soon. My throat was not the only thing that was sore.

Nice.

I relaxed back into the bed and instead looked around the room. Sea-foam curtains on a track around the bed, fake flowers in a pot on a table in the corner, the taste of antiseptic and the scent of alcohol, the beep beep beep of a heart monitor.

Yep, hospital room.

But I was alive, so that meant I won. Or... looking back at those last few seconds, I didn't lose badly enough to die. The angel was dead though, and I was alive, so I was just going to use my own discretion to put that one in the 'win' column.

I rolled my head to the side and choked out a laugh. Damn my throat hurt. My eyes trailed down the metal rail along the side of the bed, looking for—there it was. I reached over and grabbed the little plastic handle and pressed the big red button in the top of it.

I turned to look when I heard the metallic click of the door knob turning. I expected a nurse, maybe a doctor, possibly an orderly. Somebody to give me a glass of water to wash out this nasty cottonmouth. What I got was...

"Misato! If I'd known this button would summon you I'd have pressed it sooner," I joked, then coughed as the words irritated my sore, dry throat. I felt that taste of iron on my tongue with the cough. That screaming in the entry plug...oh. Oh.

I saw her fight against it, but her lip curled up and she let out a laugh, "Good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor. If you're feeling up to it, I actually came to get you out of here and take you home."

I pushed myself into a seated position and grit my teeth against the ache in my abdominal muscles. The sheet rolled off of me and I felt the cold hospital air against my skin, it was actually refreshing in the same way as jumping into a cold swimming pool. Gets the neurons firing, wakes you up.

I looked down into my lap, caught the sight of white fabric in the edge of my vision, a bra. I wasn't naked, that was fortunate. I hadn't really thought about that before I sat up. I turned slowly to my left and up into her eyes. She was expecting an answer, right.

"Home?" I asked, "Am I going with you?"

She shrugged, "That's about the size of it. After the fight, the way you fought... well there were concerns that you might run off and do something reckless if you didn't have someone to watch over you."

I raised an eyebrow and laughed, "Well, I didn't expect you to be so... well, honest about the reasons..."

She shook her head, "The reasons don't really matter, I was probably going to ask for the same thing anyway, this just makes it seem like their idea. If I'm going to keep being honest though... I probably would have done the exact same thing."

I nodded and licked my bottom lip, "With everyone counting on me, I knew I couldn't afford to lose... I had to stop it no matter what."

Misato frowned, I almost detected... disappointment? "Rei, I understand that, I really do but... You will have to be more careful in the future. You might be the one in the entry plug, but you've got all of Nerv standing behind you, backing you up. You're not alone, we can help you but you're going to have to listen, follow orders."

I looked down into my lap, my eyes drifted over to my hand. I flexed it into a fist, and relaxed it, worked each finger independently. I could vividly remember the feeling from the unit, the feedback of each motion, the feeling of power.

That kind of power can really go to your head, but I still couldn't bring myself to think what I did was wrong. Still, discretion is the better part of valor. I swung my legs off the left side of the bed and stood up, dropping the bedsheets away from me, snapped my bare heels together, drew my right hand up into a salute, and grinned.

"Yes Ma'am."

I watched the struggle on her face, watched her lip quivering before curling up. She laughed, not quite a knee slapping laugh but it would do. "Rei, you're ridiculous, now get dressed, unless you want to give everyone a free show between here and my car."

I laughed and dropped the salute, a flash of yellow caught the corner of my eye, my sweater-vest was neatly folded on the table by the door, along with my blouse and skirt. It wasn't a t-shirt and shorts, but it would do.

"That's fine Misato, the only one who I want to give a free show to is you..." I singsonged as I walked across the room, tile cold and hard against my bare feet. I was limping, but only a little, felt stiffness in my back. Probably got knocked around pretty hard in the explosion.

"Rei, you know that you can't..." She started, rubbing her temples with her hands.

"I'm just joking, lightening the mood. Can't be mad when you're laughing right?" I asked as I stepped into the skirt. The fabric felt soft as I slid it up my legs, soft and clean. It had been washed and dried, fabric softener too if I was guessing correctly.

"Still, if you make jokes like that, people might think, you know." She said, raising her eyebrows meaningfully at me.

I frowned a little, thinking about that as I slid my arms into the white blouse. That was something I hadn't thought about. Not necessarily what people might think, but if I was that way. "I don't know, actually. I might be. I guess I haven't really thought about it."

"Still, Rei, come on, work with me a little bit here, okay?" She almost pleaded, I could feel the exasperation in her voice.

I slipped the yellow sweater vest over my head and smoothed it out, and turned to regard myself in the mirror. You know what? Not bad. Not bad at all. I made this outfit work, school uniform or not. I was freakin' cute.

"Fine, fine!" I agreed, "I'll let up on it, it's... well It's just a coping mechanism for me, if I make you uncomfortable I don't feel as nervous and out of place here, that's all."

"Now who's being too honest, eh?" Misato asked with a smirk, "No, you're right it's really not that big of a deal. Come on, I'll take you out for something to eat before we head home, you're probably hungry."

"Starving!" I agreed, "Let's have steak!"

Hey, I just saved the world, why not a steak? Right? Right?

"Maybe."

Right?