A/N: Sorry for the delay! So many things to write, so little time. Lyrics (extracts only) featured: Ships In The Night by Matt Kearney
Standard disclaimers apply
Warning: Mike increases his swearing towards the end of the chapter. I apologise in advance. It is meant to be out of character.
Chapter 2
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing in the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Harvey excused himself as the meeting was being wrapped up and stepped outside of the conference room. He took a few steps around the corner, out of sight and warily leant against the wall, hand pinching at tired eyes.
Harvey had never felt so exhausted by anyone's misadventures before (not even in his and Mike's whirlwind trip through child-hood) then he is with a one James Jacob Meade III. In the space of three weeks – approximately two weeks after his father had died and left his high-flying, and not to mention the off the chart financial status, corporate business – he had been on a cocaine binge with a not-so high flying prostitute, been blackmailed by the very same prostitute and managed to threaten the entire financial structure of J.J. Meade by some very ill advised business decisions of the shady, yet obviously ignorant, kind. Harvey was sure that there would be more to come, but if these were the ones that were deemed fixable, he hated to think what the others would be like.
He took a second to gather himself and palmed the phone in his hand. He felt pretty bad for dumping Mike at the office. He hadn't even left Donna to keep him out of trouble. A part of him felt he should have taken him along with him – because even with labile teen moods and a whole lot of pouting Mike was still able to pick up on the smallest details, loop-holes and genius out-there curve balls. But, on the other hand, although JJ Meade seemed to have a care-free attitude and went through most things with a ravish greed and total disregard for any of the consequences, he had affectively just been through a devastating lost, one that Harvey suspected was fuelling his actions. He wasn't sure Mike could handle it and in his current 'phase' (and the fact the recent change had brought back some of those feelings of loss) he didn't think it was a good idea that they mixed.
Mike had been given strict instructions, until Harvey or Donna were back, to leave work by 8pm each day. He knew, of course, that it had fell on deaf ears
Mike picked up on the second ring.
"Hey, kid."
"Harvey?"
He doesn't know why the kid sounded so surprised.
"Yeah – who were you expecting? Louis?"
He could practically hear the shudder down the phone.
"I just... wasn't expecting to hear from you so late..." his voice trailed off and before Harvey could interrupt him, he continued with a rush, voice sounding flushed, excited and worried all at once. "What's the matter? Do you need something? Should I come down?"
"Hold your horses," Harvey managed to get in. He remained leaning against the wall and pushed his free hand through his hair, ignoring the fact that it probably now looked ruffled and out of place. "I'm fine, Mike. I was just checking in. I realised we hadn't spoken in a day or so."
"Oh." There's was an unmistakable sound of disappointment on the other end of the line.
"Where are you?" Harvey asked him, suspicion telling him he was definitely not at home.
"What?" is the offered reply before a vague - "Around."
Harvey sighed again. He was already dead on his feet, he really didn't need this, admittedly minor, non-ball playing from the kid too.
"You're still at work aren't you?"
Harvey can hear the audible pause.
He didn't bait him and just hoped he picked up on the stony silence instead.
"... yes," Mike finally admitted.
"It's gone 10:00, Mike," Harvey admonished him, firming his voice. It was the voice he used that always,without a doubt, resulted in Mike snapping to attention and following him to wherever he told him to go. "Go home. I don't need you ratty tomorrow."
"What?" Mike said stupidly, choking on something. Harvey presumed it was coffee. That was something else that they needed to talk about. The kid seriously drank too much caffeine when he obviously needed sleep.
"You need at least eight and half hours sleep." (He read it somewhere.)
"Harvey-"
"I know you're not really a teenager." (But you might as well be).
"Harv-"
"But until things are more normal-" (when you can actually look after yourself. When you don't need me any more. When you-).
"Harvey!" Mike exclaimed, exasperated. "Back up a minute, will you."
"What?" Harvey said, pausing in his thoughts, confused at himself at what he had actually – inwardly – meant.
"YOU don't want me ratty in the morning?" Mike asked again.
"Yesss," Harvey said more slowly for his associate's understanding. "I just said-"
"As in actually seeing me being ratty in the morning?" Mike asked and Harvey can't help but smile amusedly at the obvious flush to his voice again. "Are you coming back tomorrow?"
"Should be. Unless something unexpected happens." Harvey told him. "The meeting is just finishing off. There's a few outstanding issues – paperwork mostly – but nothing that can't be dealt with at the office. God, I feel I could sleep for a week." He felt relieved that this, the case, is nearly settled. He'd missed things. Glass walls, basketballs, his chair, his desk, his – he shook his head and bit his lip at the absurdity. "Sorry."
"For what?"
"For everything." Harvey admitted. "This is kind of all my thought. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been shrunk-"
"De-aged," Mike corrected him.
"- or re-teened," Harvey continued, ignoring him, " and you've gone through a lot, I mean you still are... and I've not been around..."
"Harvey," Mike said softly. "None of this is your thought. I think this whole teen thing is wearing off anyway." He paused and then repeated. "It's not your thought."
"I know that." Harvey practically growled down the phone gruffly.
"You just said it was," Mike pointed out factly.
"I was wrong."
"Wait a second. The great Harvey Specter? An apology and admitting he's wrong in the space of a minute?" Mike asks bemusedly. Harvey's confused too. It's Mike whose supposed to be having the confused emotions, not him.
Harvey chuckled dryly.
"I'm glad you're coming back," (I've missed you) Mike blurted out.
"Me too," Harvey says softly back. He sighed again and pulled the phone away for a second to take a breath before placing it back to his ear. "Do me a favour kid. Go home. Sleep. We'll catch up tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay..." Mike said hesitantly. "Harvey?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
The line is disconnected before Harvey can ask him for what he was thanking him for.
"How is he?"
Harvey stood abruptly to find Donna standing near the corner leading back to conference room doors. She had a bundle of disposable cups and plates in her arms (Meade's choice of eating and drinking utensils had surprised him considering his wealth and usual need for the grander things in life) and a file neatly under her arm.
"I think he's excited that we're coming in tomorrow." Harvey offered as a way of explanation, pocketing his phone.
"He's not the only one," Donna smiled at him.
"Donna..." Harvey started to warn her.
"What? Are you telling me you didn't miss the kid?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow. She took a step to the bin and dumped the cups and plates into it.
When she looked back at him her mouth had quirked up and her nose wrinkled in a amused don't deny it, mister and Harvey couldn't help but slowly smile back. He shook his head and shooed her away.
"Go home. It's late," Harvey told her. She looked equally as tired as him but still managed – along with Jessica who never looked anything less then perfect – to look immaculate. Louis looked haggard and Harvey, well... was looking a bit ruffled. " I better show my face, but you can go. You've done more than enough."
"I know," Donna nodded. She stepped closer to him and reached up to straighten his ties and tweak his jacket. "The same goes for you, Harvey. You need some sleep before making sure the kid's not going off the rails."
Harvey grinned at her, catching her hand within his and tugging playfully.
"I'm not sure Mike can do 'off the rails'."
"Really?" Donna said, letting his hand go before counting out points on her fingers. "College drop out? Pot? Trevor? One time dealing? Tests for money?" before finishing it with air quotes. "knocked into a different life."
"Okay, okay," Harvey said, placing his finger against her mouth. "I get it. Lets keep those between us, shall we?"
"I'm going, I'm going..." she told him. Donna reached up and pushed at his hair, flattening down any unruly strays and slicking it back into place. "Appearances are everything, Harvey."
Appearances are everything.
And everything is fine.
Mike sounded fine.
And Harvey felt fine.
That's what he told himself anyway. The burning in his heart, the conflicted thoughts, the confusion, the guilt, the worry – well, that was all part of his exhausted imagination.
Only it wasn't.
xxx
As it turned out, this 'thing' hadn't passed .
That much became apparent four days after they had been back on more familiar and grounded flooring. Mike had been an over-excitable puppy for most of that first morning. There wasn't really much for the kid to tell him – he knew he had no current cases or pro-bono work to do (not without supervision from him or Louis) – but he managed to tell him mundane things like how Kyle had accidentally blown the microwave up or how Gregory had spilt coffee on his tie and had dared to try and use Louis' office and was chased out by Louis secretary, Norma. That had Harvey grinning like an idiot.
And although Harvey didn't mind this – the banter, the usualness, - it became apparent to him that something wasn't right, with him at least. Harvey had promised Mike, after changing from child to adult, that things wouldn't change too much, that if he needed those things, like awkward hugs, reassurances, tactile touches, he'd give it to him. Within reason of course.
But after Anna had told them of the new phase, Harvey's life had pretty much been taken over by Meade and his shenanigan's. He was relieved and he didn't know why.
He knew, of course, that he was distancing himself from Mike. He had thought, being back at the office, he would feel differently. That he would slip back into how things were after the initial change back. When it hadn't felt so strange. But in the last few days, after Mike had tried to re-insert himself back into his life (which in itself was so many levels of awkward) dumping himself on Harvey's couch with various excuses, Harvey had found himself finding increasing excuses to send the kid back much to the younger man's disappointment. Harvey hadn't missed the look of hurt and rejection across his face.
"We got to keep this professional Mike," Harvey had told him. "We don't want the other associates thinking you're getting preferential treatment."
The truth was it hurt to look at him. Harvey hated to admit it, would never say it out aloud, but there were times he'd look at him – a throwaway glance – and see that small adorable toddler who had immersed himself into every corner of his life until he was, finally, central to everything else. Harvey hadn't questioned it. Every response had become intrinsic. It surprised him how easily he had adapted and accepted it.
And when it had gone, Harvey had felt something go. He didn't know what it was, or maybe he did but self-preservation stopped him from admitting it to himself, but he knew it hurt.
So when Meade called, he'd cut and run, flaked out because he could deal with someone else's troubles. It became a welcome distraction from the confusion of his own.
Only he had left Mike to deal with it on his own and Harvey had lied to himself when he thought that was okay (teen Mike is like regular Mike only more labile.) He scoffed at it now.
The evidence that it hadn't 'passed' occurred in the early hours of the afternoon.
There had been a commotion of sorts.
Raised voices and ugly tones.
Harvey knew, instantly, that it involved Mike.
xxx
Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly
Say what you mean and it turns into a fight
Fists fly from my mouth as it turns south
You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch
Louis was standing over Mike's cubicle, waving binder around as though he's swatting at an incessant fly that doesn't know when to give up.
The raised voices continue and Harvey can hear, from Louis incessant outrage, that Mike is the reason for his conniption fit.
"What? What did you just say to me?" Louis said.
Harvey can't see Mike yet, Louis solid frame blocking him from sight, but he can hear him. He stopped mid-stride, shocked at the tone coming from him, flaring for a fight.
"You heard me, Louis," Mike said, voice sneering with attitude. "Do you want me to repeat it?"
"Look, kid," Louis said, back arching as a breath was levelled in. Harvey could hear that Louis was still outraged, but he's pleasantly surprised that he's trying to achieve some level of calmness. "I get that you're going through a lot of changes, but this-"
"What?" Mike challenged. There's a scrape of a chair and Harvey sensed that Mike really was looking for a fight.
"What's going on?"
Louis jumped away immediately, throwing a Harvey an incredulous look (sort him out, Harvey), and Mike appeared to startle at the fast movement. He ended up staring at Harvey, eyes wide with shock and a look, that Harvey can only describe as guilt, across his face.
He became aware of the stillness around them. Most of the associate area was quiet with people staring at the three of them – some openly staring at Mike, mouths open, eyes wide. Clearly Mike has done or said something shocking.
"Mike?" Harvey asked
Mike didn't respond, just averted his eyes and set his jaw firmly. Tension rippled through him.
"Louis?" Harvey asked, clearly not getting anything from his associate.
Louis waved the binder around again and stuttered. Harvey just about aborted the smile that started to form. He'd have to congratulate the kid for whatever he did to make Louis stutter. "I just... I asked him to make a start proofing the Pelman file. He swore at me. Told me to fuck off."
Someone choked on a guffaw behind him.
"Shut it!" Harvey snapped and the laughter is cut off immediately. He looked at Mike who was now looking angry again, the flare of the attitude, from before, back.
"It's 800 pages!" Mike snapped out, clearly frustrated. He glanced from Louis and back to Harvey.
800 pages is too much for Mike to handle at the moment, and he'd challenge Louis about it later, but right now he had a out of control associate on his hands with a chip on his shoulder. Mike needed a reality check.
"Give it to someone else," Harvey said. He didn't take his eyes off Mike so caught the jubilant look of victory that erupted on his face, " - for now. I'll talk to him."
The look of victory is wiped from his face and Mike stared at him in confusion.
"My office. Now."
Voice hard, anger laced through it.
Confusion is soon replaced by hurt.
"But..."
"I. Said. My. Office. NOW!"
Mike didn't make a move to follow him and continued to stare at him. Hurt soon moves out of the way for anger to move back in. The firm set jaw moved back into place, tension built and hands flexed.
"Now," Harvey hissed at him. He reached over the cubicle, grabbed at his arm, pinching slightly as he tugged him around the wall.
Mike didn't say anything at all as Harvey marched him to his office, but the anger was evident – rolling off him in waves, and Harvey didn't let go once.
xxx
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
"Jesus, Mike-" Harvey snapped at him, once they were back in his office. Donna had quietly pretended to immerse herself in some papers as Harvey had, rather embarrassedly (for Mike at least), dragged him past her desk, door slammed for good affect. "What the hell were you thinking? You know he could have got you fired for that."
Mike rolled his eyes and and paced in front of him.
"- I'm serious, Mike,"
"800 PAGES! Harvey!" Mike snapped at him.
"I know!" Harvey snapped back. "It's too much, too soon. I'll talk to him, remind him."
Mike paced in front of him, back and forth, hand flexed into fists and then released. Then repeated, over and over again.
"I'm not sick!" Mike cried at him, whirling around so that they were inches apart. Harvey jumped, blinking in surprise. It seemed to surprise Mike too, because he stepped back uncertainly, looking up and away. Anywhere but him.
"I know that," Harvey told him, softer now. He could see Mike really was finding it hard to reign himself in and Harvey could only blame himself. And Louis Litt. "Look, what Louis asked from you was a lot, but you know Louis – this wasn't anything more then what he normally asks from you."
"Shit!" Mike exclaimed suddenly pausing by the window and burying his face into his hands. "I know!"
Harvey hoped this was a turning point, that the kid was calming down, and took a cautious step forward.
"Mike," Harvey tried softly again. "I know this is hard. I know you're having trouble adjusting to these mood changes, but seriously, this attitude-"
"Fuck you, Harvey" he muttered into his hands.
Harvey, again stops mid stride. It's not like he's not heard Mike swear because he has, but this time it's personal and unlike Anna Green (warranted yet not tolerated) it's aimed at him.
"Did you just drop the f-bomb at me?" Harvey asked him quietly, controlled.
"No?" Mike asked, body stiffening. He turned to look at him, warring emotions evident, a shadow of doubt across his face.
"Really? Because it sounded like you did?"
Harvey hoped, yet again that this is the turning point – that Harvey can quietly reprimand him and they can both laugh about it later – but Mike reacts, again, like a lit-fuse.
"You know what? I did!" Mike said, rounding on him again, body pacing up and down and around and around. "I quite like the sound of it. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck." He gave a choked sound of laughter before waving it off. "You should give it a try, Harvey -"
"Mike -" Harvey started to warn him.
"- Fuck you, Harvey! And fuck Anna Green and her fucking experiments and fuck Louis and his 800 pages and f-"
"Michael!" Harvey snapped at him, stepping forward and curling his hand around his flailing arms. This was more than just a accidental – in anger – slip up. "Stop it!"
Mike tried to snatch his arm out of the hold, but Harvey's holding on tight enough that all it does is pull them closer together. He searched the kid's face for any understanding before saying quietly "Please."
Mike practically sagged in front of him, body quivering.
"Let me go, Harvey," He implored of him, voice hitching.
"Not a chance," Harvey told him, taking another step so that their heads were nearly touching. "Take a breath, kid."
"Let me go... please," Mike asked him again, after taking a small shuddering breath. Despite his pleas he didn't try and pull away
"I think we need to get out of here. We need to talk. Let's go home."
"Whose home, Harvey? Mine or yours?" Mike asks quietly, but bitterly, not bothering to raise his head. "Because the last time I checked we didn't actually live together. I don't need to talk, I'm just being a teenager, remember? I'm being normal."
"C'mon kid" Harvey reminded him softly. "I don't buy for a second that you ever spoke to your grandmother like that."
Mike raised his head at that and Harvey had no choice but to back up slightly so their heads could pass. Mike stared at him with searching and questionable eyes. There was an unmistakable hint of wetness building in the corners.
"When you changed back, when you still needed some things from me," the words were strangely difficult to get out and stuck in his throat," I said I would be there for you, despite how awkward it got. This is one of those moments."
Mike's eyes widened and he looked away to swipe at them.
"You don't expect me not to address this, do you?" Harvey asked him, once he turned to look back at him. He let him search his face for honesty. "When I was a kid my dad would have tanned my hide for that type of behaviour."
He only realised his mistake once he had said the words aloud. Of course Mike would have reacted badly to those words. Mike never had a father through most of his childhood, had never had a real authoritative figure through his adolescence... no wonder Mike, impressionable and lost, had got knocked into another life.
"Mike-" He started, tightening his hold, trying to pull themselves closer. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"Let me go," Mike started up again, body rigid, arms fighting – pushing and pulling – for escape.
"Mike-"
"Let me go," Mike panted against him, voice hitching in desperation. "Please, Harvey. Let me go."
He tried to throw his arm up and around his shoulders to pull him back. Mike twisted his body against it and ended up with his back against Harvey's chest, bucking against him.
"Mike!" Harvey tried to soothe him, voice ruffling hair. "Take it easy."
"No!" Mike wailed against him. They both staggered against the struggle which took them down to their knees, painfully. He could see, over Mike's head, that Donna was standing worriedly outside the office. Which is exactly when Mike decided to let out blood curdling scream. "LET ME OUT. LET ME OUT. LET ME OUT!"
Harvey released him immediately. He'd never heard Mike that scared before but it took another second to register that Mike wasn't asking him to be let go any more, he was asking to be let out. Before he could move, hell before he could click his weary knees into place, Mike scrambled away and flew up like a cat on a hot tin roof. He struggled with the lock of the door, probably because it had never been forcibly shut like it had been, and then he was gone.
Harvey stared after him, dumbly aware that he sprinted past Donna without a glance, past the associates pen, past the nearest bathroom and disappeared through the exit.
"What-?" Donna asked, completely thrown for a loop before she turned back with an accusing glare. "For the first time I didn't listen into the two of you, so I have no idea what the hell just happened. Fix it now!"
Fixing things implied they were broken.
Maybe they were.
xxx
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing in the sea
If it's just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
(Like Ships In The Night, Matt Kearney)
tbc