Okay, this is a repost of chapter 1.
Tank you, all of you for all the reviews.
Thanks to my new beta phnxgrl.
Sweety
Jane has a secret and he could not bear to hide it anymore. Will Lisbon understands why he didn't tell her before?
Chapter 1: Apologize
Lisbon passed quickly in front of her colleagues without looking at them. She was still in shock from what she had heard. So she had feelings for Patrick Jane? This was absurd! How could she feel something for a man who drove her crazy all day long? A man who did not respect any rules? A man who lived for revenge and for whom nothing else mattered? She had definitely lost her heart. She had no idea of what it exposed itself to and yet she could not stop fighting for him.
She walked into her office then almost slammed the door shut behind her. She was so angry. This startled her colleagues who raised their heads to see what was happening.
Grace looked at her boss then noticed the tears beaded on the corner of her eyes. She shook her head in sorrow and turned to the two men who had still not said anything.
-" What do you think he did?" Grace asked.
-" I don't know but it must be something even worst than usual. Just look at her." Rigsby said simply. "But this is Jane after all! Since the Red John investigation, he has changed. He is more darker, much more than for other cases of the same type."
The two officers nodded in silence. This realization was a bit alarming. Jane was always on the alert with Red John. He never let anyone do anything without talking to him first but now it became disturbing. Since they have known him, they had never seen him like that. He was never just mean toward them. This was not Patrick Jane. He was not the man who was their friend. Something had happened Patrick Jane had changed. It was as if something in his life had upset him.
Cho, who had said nothing yet, cleared his throat and gestured for his colleagues to follow his gaze. They could see Jane walking with a firm step towards Lisbon's office. The Asian rose and went to meet him. He stood in front of him. Cho held his hand out and placed it on Jane's chest stopping him from moving forward.
This was not good. Cho never acted like that with his friends. It only happened with the suspects.
-" What did you do?" Cho asked it was a simple question expecting a simple answer.
-" Nothing Cho, I didn't do anything to her!" replied the blond man.
-" You had have done something to make her in this state. I don't want her being her by you."
Jane was stunned by the words. How Cho could think he would hurt Lisbon? This idea was unthinkable. She meant too much for him to hurt her. But thinking about it, he had hurt her by dismissing her in this investigation. It happened when she was only trying to help him. He was in the wrong. He hurt her by being the man he never wanted to become. The one that becomes single minded to get what he wanted. In this case it was revenge.
Cho was right, he had hurt Lisbon and he had every intention of apologizing. But first, he had also to apologize to his colleagues. They were also hurt by his behavior. He realized it now. So he placed his hand over Cho's hand and gave him a small smile of his. Cho seemed a little reluctant but remaining impassive then he stepped aside to let him pass. But contrary to what he thought Jane didn't go into Lisbon's office but sat on the chair reserved for witnesses beside his desk.
The Asian followed him and sat on his chair, knowing that the consultant wanted to talk to everybody.
There was silence in the room. Rigsby and Van Pelt shot glances full of meaning to their friend.
The blonde man took a deep breath. Thus prepared for what he needed to do. Jane was not used to giving an apology but this time he had to. They all deserved it. He had gone too far this time.
-" I know I've been hard on you." he began. "I've pushed you away while you were trying to help me. I'm really sorry, but ..."
-" But?" Grace encouraged him with a slight smile on her lips.
He already had the young woman in his pocket. She was never mad at him for long. She was too nice for that. She needed to be stronger if she wanted to continue in the profession.
Jane continued his apology by giving some explanation. But Typically he didn't tell them the whole truth. He could not do it, not now, it was too early.
-" This case, I think, was the one too far. I was a little messed up."
-" Hey dude, you're not the only one getting tired of never finding anything against this guy!" argued Rigsby. "We also are very tired. He is playing with us. Again we found nothing against him. There is always nothing to find."
-" I know Rigsby, I know." Jane consoled his friend.
-" Listen, we are here to help you if you need it, but please, don't hurt the boss, she doesn't deserve it." Rigsby said.
-" I know and I don't want to be like that with her, but I let myself go and I regret it now." Jane said with much contrition in his voice.
-" Go apologize to her and we will never talk about that again!" was all Cho said.
As always, Cho never said much, but the little he said was frankly to the point. Jane smiled weakly then gave him a friendly hand. This hand was to seal the deal of their renewed friendship. The man took it in his then squeezed it briefly. Rigsby reacted by punching him a little too strong in the shoulder. Feeling the righteous pain Jane winced. Then Grace came up then hugged him.
The three officers had forgiven him. He had now to show them that he was worthy of their trust and friendship. He would no longer hurt them.
- oooo -
In her office, Lisbon had observed the exchange of words between her subordinates and the consultant. A small smile appeared on her lips seeing them friends again but a hint of sadness appeared in her heart. Could she forgive him for his behavior? Could it be as if nothing had happened? Could she forget the phone conversation she had heard without his knowledge? She was not certain but she would not stay angry very long.
He had decided to move on his life. She should be happy for him and not blame him. Ok, she had feelings for him. They were not shared and if she really loved him, she had to be happy for him. That was true love, to want only the best for the other. It would take time to get used to the idea but for the sake of their friendship, she would make the effort.
She smiled then turned back to her work. She still had a lot of reports to fill and she didn't want to spend all night doing it. So she had to get started.
She shook as best she could the conversation out of her mind. With her mind sort of cleared she concentrated on the paperwork. With a little luck, she would eventually forget it.
From time to time, she raised her head to watch her colleagues laugh. She loved to see them forgiving him. It proved like a family that they could not stay angry for too long. Really, this was a good thing for them and for her. A team had to be welded no matter the situations.
She loved seeing the smile on Jane's lips. He seemed happy even though she knew he was hiding his sadness behind a mask of joviality. She had learned to decipher it. She knew when he pretended to be happy. He had always that little glint of sadness in his eyes. It was created by Red John when he took his family away. But now that he had a good woman in his life. That sadness would gradually give way to something more joyous. She had hoped with all her heart.
- oooo -
Evening came Lisbon had finally finished her reports. She stretched her body, unwinding her muscles. They were sore from the sitting positions she had kept a good part of the day. It was late. Her colleagues had deserted the office in favor of the comfort of home. She should do the same. She got up, turned off the computer, took her belongings and prepared herself to leave her office. Jane now appeared at the door having a guilty face.
Her heart began to beat faster. She looked at his eyes. He seemed even sadder than before. She didn't know what to do. A part of her wanted to hug him, comfort him, telling him that everything would be fine, but another told her not to, he was no longer single and that it would be misplaced to do it.
But she was cut off in her internal interrogations by a hand on her shoulder. She raised her head and gazed once more Jane's eyes.
-" Lisbon, I need to talk to you." He said softly beginning a very long conversation.
TBC…
Next chapter sooner than you think. Less than a week, but I don't know when.
Next chapter:
-" I lied to you."
Lisbon looked at him for a moment, trying to find out if he was mocking her or if he was serious. Of course he was lying, that happens every day, especially when he was about to do something wrong, then why suddenly it bothered him? Or was he blaming himself for not telling her about his girlfriend?
-" I lied to you since the beginning of our cooperation," he continued.
-" What do you mean by that?" she asked. "What did you lie about?"
Until next time, Sweety