Eric POV

"Sookie, wait!"

I run to the cab just before it pulls off and watch my Sookie drive away. I call after her but she doesn't respond at all. Maybe she can't hear me. I am again, surrounded by the girls who caused my love to run away. I know she has a tendency to avoid conflict but this is just too much. She doesn't even turn around to see if I'm chasing after her. As far as she knows I'm still surrounded by my fans not caring if she's around or not. She couldn't be further from the truth. I think to call her but I'm not sure if she'll answer. I pull out my cell with purpose, and then I remember where I am. I need to get away from this screaming horde of women so that I can l figure out how to get Sookie back.

I walk toward my car, quickly unlock the door and slide into the driver's seat just before a series of flashbulbs go off, blinding me. Where did the cameras come from so fast? I hold my hand in front of my eyes so that I can see. I look up and am face to face with the same damned girls who'd just tracked me down for an autograph. They were now snapping away at me through my windshield and all I can think about is Sookie. I now understand why she was so upset earlier. Her words cut through me like a knife. "I thought I was strong enough to handle your lifestyle. I'm not. I don't want to be here anymore. I love you but I just can't." I always try my hardest to shield her from my celebrity status, but sometimes it's unavoidable. I pull out of my parking space just in time to avoid the paparazzi that were circling my car like buzzards.

As soon as I reach the safety of home I call out to Sookie. She doesn't answer and I freeze. She could be anywhere by now. I rush to our bedroom to see if maybe she's lying in bed. To my disappointment, she isn't there. She said that she would meet me back here. Did she change her mind? If she decided to go somewhere else, why not call and let me know? Our conversation pops back into my mind as I stare at the empty bedroom. She was upset but I didn't think she was serious. "I feel like maybe it's time for me to go home. I'm thinking of going back to Louisiana, Eric." Now I'm worried. She wouldn't have gone home without telling me first, would she?

Trying not to think of the worst case scenario, I sit down on the edge of my bed to collect my thoughts. She hasn't quite gotten used to traveling in LA and she has no sense of direction. Maybe she told the cab driver to drive around for a while. I pull out my cell and dial her number. No answer. She could have gone out for a walk. I laugh to myself as I remember how she got lost here in my building. She was in the laundry room and got turned around and couldn't find the apartment. I can laugh about it now but then, she was terrified and embarrassed.

I try calling her cell again, but there's no answer. She must have turned it off. Why would she do that? Now I'm paranoid and begin to think she's avoiding me. I start to panic and can't figure out who else I can call. Someone has to know where she is. I don't want to call Gran and worry her for nothing. But, I keep telling myself she wouldn't just leave with no word. A light bulb goes off and I rush out to the living room and scour every flat surface within my reach for something that will let me know where she is. I finally come across a small slip of paper on the coffee table. She left a note.

Eric,

I don't belong here. I love you but I'm just not strong enough to share you with the rest of the world. I hope you can forgive me one day.

Love always,

Sookie

A sound pierces the quiet in my lonely apartment. I could swear it was someone screaming, almost a guttural roar. Then I realize the sound is coming from me. In all of my frustration I just let go and yell. She's ripped my heart from my chest, stomped on it and thrown it away with her words. She doesn't belong here; she's not strong enough–she hopes I can forgive her?

I can't even think straight. I'm so pissed and hurt that she would just leave like this. At least I think I know where she's gone. Sookie wouldn't go anywhere but home to Bon Temps. She's said as much tonight, anyway. That's her safe haven, her true comfort. Home is where her heart is because it sure as hell isn't here with me. Maybe this is a good thing. We can use the space. She'll see; she'll realize that she misses me and will come back. Man do I want her back. I give up calling her again and lay in bed reading her note over and over again. I now have it memorized and each time I think about those cursed words, a little more of my heart dies. I eventually fall asleep sometime during the night, clutching the tiny piece of paper in my hand to the empty place where my heart used to be.

Pam calls me bright and early the next morning for a photo shoot. Damn it to hell! This is so not what I need today. I want to stay home and wallow in my pity. I caved and called Sookie every time I thought about her last night but she still hasn't returned any of my messages. I know she has to be thinking about me. As much as I'm thinking of her she has to feel it, she has to sense it. I used to be able to say I love you to her and she'd yield and wouldn't leave. Or I'd mumble something to her in French and her clothes would melt away. Now, I tell her how much I love her and she walks away from me? I beg her not to break my heart and she runs? I tell her how much I need her and she tells me she can't handle my career. Would she be happier if I was like any other Joe Schmoe? I didn't think we would ever have this issue come up so early on in our relationship.

I can't make her love me any more than she already does. I want her to want to be with me. I want her to want me on her terms, not mine. I would do anything to make her happy. She is my world and I am hers. So why isn't she here with me?

Shouldn't my utter devotion to her happiness make her see how much she means to me? I wish I could talk to her and ask her these things. I really need to know if there is anything I can do to fix us. Maybe I should go to Bon Temps. Then I remember that I can't. Pam would kill me because I have a new movie which starts shooting in two days and I'm already contracted to do it. But if I could get back before then… that could actually work. I call Felicia and get her to book me a flight out after my photo shoot. I just hope that when I get to Bon Temps, Sookie will actually want to talk to me.

"Pam, I need to go home."

"Okay, you can go home once you're finished up here."

"No, I mean home, home. To Bon Temps."

"Fuck, Eric! Have you forgotten that you have a movie to start shooting in a couple of days? You know Sophie Ann won't like this. As a matter of fact, I think I'll call her now."

"You will do no such thing, Pamela. I'll be back in plenty of time. I need to go. Sookie." I can't even finish my sentence.

"This is all over women trouble? Look, I get that you love Sookie but you have to think about what you're doing here. You moved here for your career. She moved here to be with you. What's the problem?"

"She can't handle it, Pam."

"Then that's her fucking problem. She needs to grow a pair and support you. Doesn't she know how much stress you're under? She's being selfish and I'd be more than happy to tell her for you–"

"You might want to walk away now. Seriously." She shrugs and walks off. But not before giving me a death glare. I love Pam, but sometimes she needs to be put in her place. She's getting too big for her britches lately and I have to remind her, she doesn't run my career.

Pam is pissed now, but she'll get over it. She can't stay mad at me for long. My only worry is Sophie Ann. She's a great manager but she can be a real bitch when she doesn't get her way. I know there's some major ass kissing in my future and I'd better get started as soon as I get back. I have to make sure things with Sookie are okay or else I won't be able to work. I sit back into my chair getting my makeup touched up and wonder if Sookie is thinking about me at all. She didn't even call to let me know she'd made it home safely and that is so unlike her. I was so worried about her last night, I didn't know what to do. I could call the house and maybe Gran would talk to me. She's always liked me.

I can't stop thinking about Sookie once I get home and as I sit down to pack my bags I stop dead in my tracks. I am so hurt and feel so sorry for myself that I decide to do something stupid. I go to my freezer, retrieve my nicely chilled bottle of vodka and drown my sorrows. Shot after shot of the smooth, thick liquid washes down my throat. I start to feel a slow buzz build and my body eases into relaxation. After half of the bottle's gone, I pick up my phone and dial Sookie's number. It takes a few tries but I finally get it right and I leave her several messages.

Sook, it's me. Pleeeease call me back. You left me a note, a fucking note on my coffee table and that was it? Do I not deserve better? You could have called me *hiccup* to let me know you, where you are. I'm worrying over you and now I just… S'il vous plaît, appelez-moi mon amour. I need you.

I take a few more shots.

Sookie det här är Eric. Where are you? Why won't you call me back? What have I done that was so bad you can't return my calls? Do you want me to come after you? Är allt det här ett spel? Are you happy to make me look foolish? It's working. I'm here drinking myself into oblivion and I can't hate you. Jag vill men jag kan inte. I love you so much. Please my lover, come back to me.

Something snaps in me and I sober up. My anger surges through me and I can't stop the words from leaving my lips.

I won't call again. It's obvious you're not interested in talking to me. I can't do this anymore Sookie. Fuck!

I finish off the rest of the fucking bottle. What do I have to lose?

Jag kan inte leva utan dig. Jag behöver dig mer än något annat. Jag vill ha dig. Jag saknar dig. Jag älskar dig.

I wasn't entirely sure if most of my messages were in English or not but I didn't give a shit. If she wants to she can call me. She's being so unreasonable right now. I mean, what does she want from me? I've given her all of me repeatedly and she still wants more. I have nothing left to give. My life is shit without her. I don't even want to wake up tomorrow knowing that she won't be here. I've never been depressed before but this shit is depressing. I can't help but to think back to happier days.

As a kid growing up in Sweden things were great and I couldn't have been happier. It wasn't until my father got a business opportunity in Shreveport that we needed to move. I fought it and so did my mother, but eventually my father reasoned with us and off we went to Bon Temps. Why we didn't live in Shreveport, I don't know? My father had funny ways about him and my mother and I just went along with whatever he had planned, as we had no choice.

When I first met Sookie I knew that I wanted her to be mine. It just so happened that I was too afraid to say anything and we were both so young. I was the new kid in town and didn't have any friends. Gran was kind enough to invite my family over for dinner our second night in Bon Temps. Gran was always going out of her way to make me feel comfortable from the first day we met. I will never forget how I felt sitting across from Sookie at dinner. I think she may have caught me staring at her but she stuck her tongue out at me and paid me no attention. I was hooked. That was just the beginning.

High school was difficult when it came to Sookie. I was part of the popular crowd because I was into sports and she was more of a loner. I didn't know why Sookie kept to herself but I'd rarely see her at any of the parties I went to. I guess when you run in different circles it was easy to avoid one another. But that didn't mean that I had stopped noticing Sookie.

There was one party in particular she came to. I was surprised to see her until I realized why she was there. She was supposed to be dating Bill Compton at the time and I didn't want to step on his toes. We were friends but not the best of friends. I kind of thought he was a douche but I wouldn't tell her that. I tried to make sure Sookie was included in things but she always seemed to shy away. If Bill wasn't going, neither was she. I wanted to ask her about them but Bill assured me he was "hitting that." His words, not mine.

We were at the Compton House which is directly across the road from her Gran's farmhouse. There's a creepy old cemetery that seperates the two homes creating the illusion of two worlds. The Compton house was newly updated with fresh paint, new shingles on the roof, whereas the old Stackhouse place remained frozen in time from the days it was built in the early 1900's. I was changing in one of the spare bedrooms when I'd heard the door creak open. I turned quickly and caught Sookie running off before she closed the door. She must have been embarrassed because I was naked. Being naked didn't bother me but I didn't want to say anything to bring it to her attention. I caught her staring at me a few times after that but shrugged it off.

My hopes to get to know Sookie better were crushed but we remained friends. I felt like I should keep my distance because I knew that I didn't just want to be friends with her. I always thought she had feelings for me too but if she did, why would she have been with Bill?

After high school, we went our separate ways. I attended NYU in New York and Sookie went to Tulane University in New Orleans. Of course, that's where Bill went to school and I just assumed she'd followed him there. I was wrong. I found out during my first visit home over Christmas break that Sookie had never dated Bill. He lied about their entire relationship. They were friends, but nothing more. In fact, he followed her to Tulane and made her first semester of school hell. I didn't get all of the details but I'd heard it was pretty bad. She eventually transferred to LSU Shreveport. She wanted to be closer to home in case she needed her family. Namely her brother, Jason. She sort of shied away from dating after that and I knew I'd missed my opportunity again.

I dated a few girls while at school but none of them were Sookie. I wanted so much to tell her that I wanted to be more than friends but I didn't want to push her before she was ready. I spent a lot of my days walking around Central Park just thinking about what I would do if Sookie were mine. She's the reason I am where I am today. Literally. Walking through the park I'd bumped into a modeling scout and was offered a chance to start a career in modeling. I hadn't declared a major so I figured I had nothing to lose. My career skyrocketed quickly and now I find myself overwhelmed by fans when I go out for a stroll with my girlfriend.

I can't really complain because I'm doing what I love but it seems to be at the expense of Sookie's happiness. Her happiness means more to me than all of the everyday things in my life. She's all that I need. I've got more than enough money and other material bullshit but I can do without it. I need her and I'll do anything in my power to get her to see that. I'd have to talk to Pam about getting out of my If Looks Could Kill contract. The season is coming to a close so it shouldn't be too difficult if I chose not to renew it. I can't say that I won't miss playing a secret agent who seduces beautiful women to get information. It's a dream job. I get to live out every male's fantasy and get paid for it. I do have to work out a little extra since I'm practically naked every episode but that's not a hardship.

First things first, I need get up and stop feeling so sorry for myself. I need coffee and a shower. Once I've done that I finish packing my bag and call a cab. I have a plane to catch.

A/N: Thanks for still having an interest in this story. It just wasn't coming to me no matter what I did but now… Big thank you to my lovely reader frlarsson for her help with the Swedish translations. She's awesome! Thanks so much Linda! I have to give a special shout to Suaru-chan for her help with this chapter. She gets big, drunken Eric kisses. Thanks love!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter and I won't know unless you leave a review. xoxo

Translations:

S'il vous plaît, appelez-moi mon amour - Please call me back my love.

Sookie det här är Eric - Sookie this is Eric.

Är allt det här ett spel - Is this all a game?

Jag vill men jag kan inte - I want to but I can't.

Jag kan inte leva utan dig. Jag behöver dig mer än något annat. Jag vill ha dig. Jag saknar dig. Jag älskar dig. - I can't live without you. I need you more than anything. I want you. I miss you. I love you.