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I love writing these XDDD I hope you like reading! This one is just... ugh. Im dieing inside at this horribleness...

Uma and Emma helped on the later part of this, but it's still mostly me.

ACT 2

Location: Moonlit campsite

Aragorn walks in with a dead deer and throws it unceremoniously on the ground in front of Legolas and Gimli who skip in holding hands wearing daisy chains

Sparkly sound effect

Aragorn says (gruffly) "While you two were dilly-dallying in the meadow I was hunting for our dinner. Here."

He points at the carcass and Gimli and Legolas look at it scornfully

Legolas says "Is it fattening?"

Gimli says "Fresh?"

Legolas says "Organic?"

Gimli says "Cooked?" (Aragorn is getting annoyed)

Legolas says "Free of preservatives?"

Gimli says "Tasty?"

Legolas says "From this forest?"

Gimli says "Truly a deer?"

Aragorn says "Of course it's a-!"

Legolas says "Lean?"

Gimli says "Young?"

Legolas says "non-GMO?"

Gimli says "Yummy?"

Legolas says "Good for my complexion?"

Gimli says "If Frodo were here would he eat it?"

Legolas says "Is it seasoned with Thyme and Rosemary?"

Gimli says "Is it scrumptious?"

Legolas says "Is it suited to prince standards?"

Gimli says "Or for related-to-royalty?"

Legolas says "Have you cooked deer before?"

Aragorn says (Angry) "JUST EAT THE FREAKING DEER."

Gimli and Legolas mutter, annoyed

Sauron who is still looking on laughs evilly a bit.

Aragorn sighs and begins cooking it over a fire he makes. It is done

Aragorn says "Come for dinner!"

The two sit down and taste it

Legolas says "My meat has fat on it!"

Gimli says "My fat has meat on it!"

Legolas says "This part is cold!"

Gimli says "Mine is tough here!"

Aragorn is furious

Aragorn says "Legolas! We're not in a five star hotel, we're out in the wilderness so maybe try working for once!"

Legolas looks hurt

Aragorn says "Gimli Sofia Maria Bartholomew Gloinson!"

Gimli looks offended and surprised he knew his full name

Aragorn says "Take your big beard and s-!"

Gimli says (blurted) "I wash my beard everyday with Legolas's 'Clean 'n fresh' Elven shampoo!"

Gimli claps a hand over his mouth. Aragorn touches his hair nervously (he used it too)

Legolas's jaw drops. He goes to the tent and enters it. You hear banging and he emerges covered in fluff

NARRATOR SAURON says "Ummm... where'd the fluff come from?"

Legolas says "GIMLI! That was my special secret for my beautiful flowing locks! I'm going to take your hairs!"

Gimli is terrified

Gimli says "Not Galadriel!"

NARRATOR SAURON says "You see, Legolas has never been good at keeping secrets and he tends to blurt out his plans. That is why whilst in battle or conversing with the enemy Aragorn does the talking."

Gimli enters the tent and comes out with 3 golden hairs in a glass box, covered by a box, covered by another box, and another, and another, so forth, topped off with a lock. Gimli has the key. He eats the key.

Gimli says (shrugging) "It'll turn up later."

Aragorn and Legolas are appalled

Gimli says "In my defense, I did catch Aragorn washing his mop-top of his with your shampoo last night."

Aragorn says (defensively) "I may be scruffy, but it's a handsome scruffy!"

Legolas says "But... but..."

Legolas does puppy eyes. Gimli hugs him, succumbing to the adorableness

Gimli says "Legolas! I'm so sorry! I love you!"

Aragorn rolls his eyes

Aragorn says "Legolas Isabella Greenleaf, stop doing that face!"

Legolas blushes

Legolas says "How did you learn that?!"

Aragorn says (mysteriously) "I have connections in many places..."

Gimli says "Cough *thranduil* Cough"

Legolas says "Hmm... what?"

Aragorn says "Now it's nap time! Come boys!"

He herds them to the tent

NARRATOR SAURON says "INTERMISSION..."

Curtains close...

NOT GALARIEL!