Adventures of Two Khajiit
Co-authored by me and My Friend
Disclaimer: We still don't own Skyrim... unfortunately
Chapter 2: The game is afoot. Or all manner of severed limbs!
The following morning Yoake wakes up feeling rather groggy. She slowly opens her eyes to find Mi'rasj having snatched the blanket for himself, and apparently tried to mimic the bandaging ritual of a Draugr in his sleep. Thinking to herself "He's gonna have fun when he wakes up... and I slept in my armour. Great.", she silently laughs as she gets up, grabs shrouded robes from the wardrobe, then pads to the bathtub made of carved wood. Argis has been so kind to boil a generous amount of water and prepare a bath for his Thane before he went back to his quarters for breakfast.
Meanwhile, Mi'rasj is still sleeping soundly, unaware of the spectacle that takes place just a few fathoms away. After a while, he senses that his tail is cold. "Humph, fires are out. Must be morning", he reasons.
Then his keen Khajiit ears pick up the movement of water in a nearby tub. Mi'rasj slowly opens his topaz eyes. Yoake is nowhere to be seen. The dazed Khajiit tries to scratch his ear, but his arm, as well as the rest of his body, is thoroughly entangled into the blanket.
"Did Mi'rasj or the minx do this...?", he wonders.
While he ponders, Yoake emerges from the bath, clad in her shrouded robes. Smiling, she answers the unspoken question:
"You did that all on your own, friend... I'm actually quite impressed!"
She then strolls over to the kitchen, telling the struggling Khajiit over her shoulder that there will be food then he gets free and dressed.
"We also have to plan what ruin to raid.", she says, while preparing breakfast. The promise of food make Mi'rasj redouble his efforts, which pays off. He manages to break free of his bondage, and sits up at the edge of the bed.
Feeling the cold of the stone floor on his hind-paws urges him to act. He stands up, stretches, and walks with heavy steps towards the corner where his armour and haversack is laying. He puts on Saviour's Hide, and his boot and gauntlets, then heads out into the kitchen area.
"What is to be expected on this fine morning?", he asks. "Elsweyr Fondue?"
Yoake look up from the suspended casserole over the fire she is leaning over, her blue eyes laughing at Mi'rasj' bed fur, his hair being a total disaster. Mi'rasj catches onto this. Smiling, he licks the palm of his hand and slides it over his head, realigning the braids that were the most astray. He then seats himself at the table, studying the unfolded map that is rolled out across it.
"No, sadly I don't have the spices for that... they are hard to get in this cold land. So, we will have to make due with common stew."
"Pity. Mi'rasj hope it has some salmon in it... Shall we have a go at Kolskeggr Mine, and then move towards Falkreath? Mir must say, he longs for the warm, lush forests there.''
Yoake approaches the table with two steaming bowls of stew in her hands. The smell is divine! She puts down a bowl in front of the starving Mi'rasj, then sits down at the table across from him.
"That sounds good. After that we could head towards Dawnstar. I got a... job... I have completed. No salmon in the stew, sorry, but there is plenty of meat and bacon", she says to the he-cat, who's bowl is already half-empty.
"Mfh, this one hears the voice of the Mother of Night? Mh, Dawnstar is directly north from Whiterun, no? Perhaps we could pay Balgruuf a visit. Mir can distract him while Yoake raids his armoury... and pantry!"
"Yes... I most certainly do. She is calling me, her faithful Listener, back to her to give me another contract..." Yoake's eyes become unfocused for an instant. "M-yes. Good idea! It's been a while since I went on a proper pantry raid. But first, Kolskeggr Mine. Let's see what treasures we can dig up!"
Mi'rasj scratches his ear, trying to remember what he has heard and read about Kolskeggr. "Yes... it is infested by Forsworn of all ranks. Remember: aim for the "heart" of the Briarhearts with your weapons or spells. More damage is done to them is you strike their new heart.
There is also a lot of gold there, over 15 deposits, he has heard. Mi'rasj is certain we will find a conveniently placed pickaxe to mine with... or swing in someone's eye."
Yoake smiles, finishing her bowl of stew. "Did you know a good sneak thief can steal a Briarheart's heart? Do that, and they fall over dead... and there is always a convenient pickaxe or two in mines!", she says, as she goes back to the bedroom to put on her ancient shrouded armour, and collecting her impressive weapons on the way.
Mi'rasj nods, and stand up, patting his belly. The warm stew did wonders for his head. Until it had arrived in his stomach, it had felt as if there was a Dwemer Centurion angrily swinging its hammer inside his skull, oblivion-bent on causing damage.
"Mi'rasj do know that. Doing so, means one would have to get close to both the victim and their kin, all armed to their teeth! Mir prefers staying in the shadows, unseen and unheard, the only sign of his presence being the arrows the heads of his victims... Remember to bring the Blade of Woe, Yoake! And some Soul Gems to claim their souls with! This lot deserves it!"
"What is the point of being a good thief if you can't steal someone's heart?", Yoake muses while heading over to the pantry for supplies.
"...but it is indeed very fun to shoot enemies from dark corners, and watch as their kin run around in confusion, not knowing where the danger is. And I will bring my Blade of Woe, as well as Dawnbreaker. Do you think I should bring my Daedric arrows, or will it be enough with just glass and ebony?
Mi'rasj is unsure whether his own heart has been stolen or not.
"Yes, the guiding light of Dawnbreaker will be useful if we are forced into unforeseen battle. But do not waste rare Daedric arrows on petty humans! No, save those arrows for the large threats: Giants, Mammoths, Dwemer Centuri and dragons! We are sure to face a few on our way to Dawnstar."
Yoake replies from the depths of the pantry shelves, head bobbing up and down looking for useful things one might need.
"Let's avoid the Giants this time, shall we? You don't need another trip to Masser... or Secunda! And we should be careful when in Falkreath... at least I should... I don't think anyone saw me, but better safe than in jail..." the last part of her reply is spoken under her breath, but Mi'rasj' keen Khajiit ears pick it up nonetheless. "Do you need any potions of some kind?", she continues.
"Agreed", he says, as he tightens the straps and buckles of his armour, boots and gauntlets. "We Khajiit can outrun those brutes when we have to. Hmm, Mi'rasj only need a healing potion of two, to drink right before he dies. He already has other... "potions" he may need... wait! Is Yoake referring to the escape of Sinding? Or did she do something stupid on the side?"
Yoake stops searching for a while, and tries to find right the words.
"...I may or may not have assassinated the Jarl's housecarl..."
"Hhhh... contract or pleasure?"
Yoake turns and looks at Mi'rasj with a deadpan look.
"Contract of course! Do you think me a murderer?!"
Mi'rasj raise his hands in reassurance.
"No, relax, there is no need to fluff your tail! Accidents happen. Could have been that the arrow that missed the dragon found the housecarl instead. But it is good to know Yoake does not murder everyone... like that... Cicero once did." There is underlying anger in the jester's name, triggering Yoake's curiosity.
She recollects herself. "Being an assassin is fun, but I try not to kill anyone except the target if I can. I snuck into his room while everyone was sleeping, and slit his throat. Of course, when one is in a ruin, mine or tomb, and stuff is trying to kill you... then it's another matter entirely... and that clown was mad. I'm glad I killed him."
Having gathered what she needs, she steps away from the pantry, and towards the main door, with a roomy bag over her shoulder.
"Ready to go, my friend?"
Mi'rasj is almost set, answering as he heads back to the mistress bedroom for his haversack. "You killed the crazy jester? Good! Mi'rasj thinks Cicero could hug someone with one arm, while stabbing them with the other. Mir met him north of Whiterun, outside the Loreius farm, when he was walking to Dawnstar..." The cat sits on the kitchen table, his eyes unfocused, his mind distant.
"A wheel on the wagon the jester was on had broken off. He asked Mi'rasj to enlist the help of a nearby farmer, Loreius. The whole thing smelled rotten fish, so Mir notified a nearby guard of the situation. But when he came back from Dawnstar, both Loreius and his wife had been slain during the night. The guard said they had been stabbed so many times, one could not count! Undoubtedly the work of the crazy jester. Mir did not see him again. But now he knows justice has been served. Well done, kitten!
Eh... but to answer the rest, innocents need not die, Mi'rasj agrees. Yes, in a ruin, mine or tomb, it is self-defence. Kill or be killed. Alright, Mi'rasj is ready. To the stables we go, then!"
"To the stables, INDEED!" Yoake exclaims dramatically, and delivers a kick to the main door, intent on dramatically throwing it wide open. As her foot connects, Yoake rebound and falls on her tail, while Mi'rasj can barely breathe because of his hysterical laughing.
"Asj, ARGIS! From now on, unlock the door when you hear me wake up!" Yoake is both angry, embarrassed, and laughing.
A steady "Yes, my Thane!" can be heard from Argis' quarters.
Mi'rasj goes through the amusing, overly-illustrative gesture of slowly grabbing the small metal bar, and turning it against the clock. A mechanical "click" is heard, and the door can now be opened without a hitch. "Want to try again?" he says while extending a helping hand, with a grin on his face the Cheshire Cat of Elsweyr legends would envy. Yoake sighs and takes his hand. After being helped on her feet, she straightens her armour and hair, and bellows "To the stables, INDEED!" while giving the door a kick she feels it deserves.