Gandalf went to Tesco. However, he forgot why he went there and came back without having bought anything.

"But... " whimpered Legolas, almost in tears. "Gandalf! I wanna new make-up box!"

"SHUT UP, HARRY!"

"Who IS HARRY?!" demanded Merry furiously.

"Aragorn," Pippin said tearfully, "Gimli won't leave me alone!"

Aragorn poked Gimli, "Poke."

"Get away from me!" Gimli cried out, shooing Aragorn away.

Boromir stole Pippin's drink and pipe and pipeweed. He threw away the pipe and pipeweed. Pippin was getting fed up, not knowing who the thief was.

"Where are my stuff... ?" he asked, looking as if he was in pain.

Meanwhile, Boromir and Aragorn were getting tipsy off the ale, also stuffing their faces with sandwiches.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Pippin burst out. "WHERE IS MY DRINK?!"

"Careful, Jake. Easy. Calm down," Gimli tried to sooth him.

Pippin blinked. "I'M NOT JAKE!"

Boromir went over to him and admitted that he stole his drink (he didn't say anything about his pipe and pipeweed though).

"We got drink and sammiches," said Boromir contently.

"We just need smokes and women," added Aragorn, looking deep in thought.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sam was trying to find ingredients to his PO-TA-TOES meal.

"Need vanilla essence," he muttered angrily. "And some corn. Or beans," he added dully.

Sam popped a few grapes into his mouth at once. He started choking on it and spat it out. They were the ones he had soaked in vinegar for his meal. If anyone knew, they would vomit.

"Hi." Merry appeared.

"Um... " was what came to Sam's mind first. "Hi. What's up?"

"Well," Merry said, "Gandalf refuses to tell us who is Harry and Cornelius." Then Merry added as an afterthought, "And Gimli is calling Pippin 'Jake'. Weird things are happening."

"Yes, Pippin poured his ale into my meal while I was making it. Had to start again." Sam looked grumpily at what he has cooked.

"Oh yeah, and Boromir stole Pip's booze."

Legolas appeared from the same spot as Merry had. "I brought you vanilla essence." He threw a small bottle at Sam, who caught it, and dropped it. It did not break though. Shoo!

- - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will something ruin the meal again? Will Aragorn get smokes and women? What will happen to Pippin's pipe and pipeweed?

You can find out soon! TBC